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197. Engagement – By the Stream

The stream flows.

Water trickles. Trickle, trickle, trickle…

Lena Ainar was by the stream near the allied camp. She stared blankly at the flowing water, occasionally tossing stones, which went and never resurfaced.

Originally, a squire shouldn’t act alone like this. As a soldier, she should have been under strict control, but Lena’s situation was different from other squires.

She hadn’t been assigned to protect a general or a thousand-man commander. She had joined the battlefield as part of the knights but wasn’t quite a knight either.

An ambiguous position.

Amidst the loose control, Lena lost her way. She returned to the camp with Leo, but it seemed there was nothing for her to do or anything she was supposed to do.

– Splash!

After tossing the last stone, Lena squatted down. Looking at her reflection in the water, she took out a small hand mirror from her breast pocket.

She saw a disheveled version of herself. Perhaps she had lost some weight; shadows were on her cheeks and eyelids, which displeased her. Everything did.

Empty, Lena lowered the mirror. She grabbed her hair for a moment, then looked back into the mirror and asked herself.

– What do I have left?

Lena tightly closed her eyes. It felt like something was about to explode from within. She swallowed but the nausea pressing against her stomach only intensified.

– Gulp.

Hastily, she cupped one hand like a bowl and drank from the stream. One sip wasn’t enough, so she drank two, then five swallows in quick succession, and soon she found herself kneeling. She put away the mirror, but the face reflected in the water persistently questioned her.

– What do you have left?

Her disheveled hair brushed the surface of the water. Her knees were submerged, and the hastily drunk water dripped from her chin. What fell was not just that.

“I, I…”

Lena stayed still for a moment. No, it was more than just a moment. Only after sending more water flowing away than she had consumed could she move, and her first action was to wash her face.

Scrub, scrub, after wiping her face, she stood up, her legs wet as she walked back without a towel.

“…Loyalty.”

Upon returning to the camp, the soldiers looked at her with puzzled expressions. Their gaze lingered on her eyes before drifting away.

Lena didn’t go straight back but wandered aimlessly. The red sunset and the continuous groans of the patients in the ward. With the moisture on her face and remnants of regret wiped away, Lena turned her steps.

Leo was still by the tent. It seemed the grass around him was wilting from waiting so long.

“…Lena.”

“Yeah. I’m okay now.”

Lena smiled slightly. “I told you I didn’t want to do it!” She felt guilty for shouting and running away, so she managed to force a smile, but—

– I believed in you.

The warm gaze made her turn her head away in agony. It was hard to endure Leo’s relieved expression and the touch of the sword’s hilt he had given her.

“Well then… Shall we try again? Once our swords touch…”

Lena let go of the hilt. The sword clanged down— clattering to the ground, and she spoke to the dazed Leo.

“Let’s get married.”

Leo’s face contorted in despair. He looked up at the sky and then came over to grasp her hand.

“Lena. Please…”

But Lena didn’t take her words back. Instead, she buried her forehead in Leo’s chest and hugged him.

What do I have left?

I have only Leo left.

I wanted to become a knight and marry this man. For years, I had worked hard to stand equal to the man who had brought me to my knees, and these two, the sword and Leo, were all I had. No, if I had to choose one, I would unhesitatingly choose Leo without a doubt.

But this cruel man.

Lena banged her forehead against Leo’s chest. Clinging to the sleeve of the youngest-ever Swordmaster, she wept like it was something that should be celebrated yet felt utterly pitiful.

“Lena. You can do it. You can become a knight. I’ll help you. Okay?”

So kind.

Leo had no clue what I was thinking. There was no way he could know why I had been postponing marriage, so Lena made an excuse.

“It’s fine. I never intended to be a knight. I only followed along for fun since you were doing swordsmanship. Now… I want to stop.”

Lie! It’s a lie!

Leo knew exactly what Lena was thinking. Gritting his teeth, he said,

“Don’t lie. I know that’s not true.”

He tried to speak, but Lena’s face as she looked up was horrifying. The tears flowing from her solid face pleaded for him to stop.

Where did it go wrong?

Should I have not met Katrina? ─ Such thoughts crossed his mind, but he knew that wasn’t the problem. It had been wrong ever since he had won against his father in the duel right after the scenario began, and he had finally come to realize this was the inevitable result.

Lena’s attitude towards him, who was growing stronger with each iteration, had gradually changed… He should have noticed that.

No matter how confident Lena Ainar might be, he should have taken into account that the will to burn and the gap she could close were limited.

Lena sniffed, wiped her tears, and spoke a bit anxiously.

“I’m going to quit being a squire. So… after the war, make sure to come back. I’ll be waiting. Let’s get married then.”

Was she worried that he might not return, or was she afraid that this great Swordmaster would forget her?

Her eyes were pleading for an answer, and Leo had no choice but to nod. ‘You fool. You can’t just quit because you want to.’ He thought, but couldn’t bring himself to say it.

Seemingly relieved, Lena wrapped her arms around Leo’s waist. Hesitatingly, she sought a kiss, but the very idea of needing proof made her seem so small.

“…Let’s go in.”

Lena led Leo into the tent.

She dropped the sword fallen in front of the tent and tossed away her leather armor; she was no longer the confident fighter.

Only the small hand mirror that had fallen from her top pointed to her true identity.

*

Lena and Leo withdrew.

Leo approached the Third Knight Commander, Jensen Bailei, and expressed his desire to retire. Even though he hadn’t officially been appointed, it was a ridiculous statement but also an absurd request.

“Retiring during a war! Don’t speak nonsense!”

Naturally, Jensen was furious. However, every time the badge of a knight from the Belita Kingdom appeared from Leo’s possession, his voice grew softer. When a stack including Katrina’s reached fourteen layers, he was utterly speechless.

After a long pause, the commander said,

“There’s a prince in the upcoming reinforcements. You’ll be able to receive a great reward, so wait a bit.”, “If you retire like this, you’ll never be a knight again! Forever!”

He tried to persuade Leo. However, even with all the sweet talk and threats, Leo didn’t flinch, and Jensen finally looked exasperated.

“You’re really different from your father. No, actually, given that you’re retiring like this, I suppose you’re similar… Well. Do as you wish. But as I said earlier, forget about joining the knight order. Your kind… that fiancée of yours, too. I hope you live well.”

He wasn’t cursing out of anger. He merely recited the facts. He said he would visit his parents sometime soon and extended a handshake.

The next day, Lena and Leo left the stronghold. Jensen lent them some travel expenses under the pretext of a reward, and since the initial funds remained intact, there was no worry about money for their journey.

However, the destination set by Leo was not Abrival Castle. He told Lena they were going to the Jerome Holy Kingdom.

“Why?”

Lena asked, but Leo just mumbled something vague. He couldn’t say it was to prepare for the next iteration, so he used the trip as an excuse, and Lena didn’t “defy” his words. “Alright.” She replied somewhat glumly.

Her reaction broke his heart, but fortunately, Lena gradually regained her spirit. It was thanks to an unspeakable reason and her newfound interest in cooking.

Of course, her cooking skills were terrible. Even until they arrived at the capital of the Holy Kingdom, Rutetia, and beyond, it didn’t seem like it would improve, but Leo still ate it all up with enthusiasm.

When Leo showed the badge of a retired knight and applied for a tour of the monastery church, it was autumn after a sweltering summer had passed.

After a four-month journey, they were exhausted, but Lena Ainar gasped in awe at the majestic church.

“Wow! There are priests everywhere. Leo, look over there. That person seems to be a Holy Knight. I wonder what kind of swordsmanship Holy Knights use…”

Lena’s expression hardened.

She quickly shifted her interest elsewhere, and Leo pretended not to hear, guiding her through the monastery. He had only been there twice, so he didn’t know the way well either, but it didn’t hinder their sightseeing with no particular purpose.

That said, it wasn’t entirely without purpose; it was a lie. Following the Tracking Skill, Leo spotted Leah sitting on the grass in front of the library, reading a book.

“Do you know her?”

“…No.”

“Then why are you staring at her like that?”

Lena’s gaze turned sharp.

A lady in white clothing who looked like a priest or something. Perhaps the gentle autumn breeze would give her a playful flutter, but she gripped the pages tightly, not budging at all, and she was quite pretty. Her hair tousled in disarray had a calmness Lena Ainar could never hope to mimic.

“I just found it interesting. Ah, I guess that’s the library. Should we go in and take a look?”

“Stop dodging the question. Do you like that type?”

“Hmm… Lena, should I honestly tell you what type I like?”

It was unsettling. Lena thought she had asked a pointless question, her heart racing as she stammered, “S-Say it.”

“I like people with droopy eyes. It’s fun if they’re a little quirky, and I would prefer someone from the north. It’s okay if they can’t cook. I can handle it. And…”

“Hey! Are you making fun of me right now?”

“Huh? I didn’t mention any names… Ow, ow, ow!”

Lena pinched Leo sharply in the side. The two began to bicker and left that spot, while Leah, having lifted her head, watched them silently.

“Ugh, so noisy.”

She grumbled. It was lunchtime, and she was heading to find Veronian with her rough draft and book in tow.

Well, nothing out of the ordinary happened.

*

Months later, after thoroughly touring Rutetia and the monastery church, Lena and Leo returned to Abrival Castle.

Having delayed their return as they didn’t know when Reb would arrive, Leo felt it was enough wait as winter approached.

Although it wouldn’t have been unexpected for Reb to burst in suddenly, it wasn’t something that would happen in this ‘current’ iteration. Leo slowly suggested heading home, and Lena was pleased.

It ended up being a stroke of luck.

Just as they were nearing Abrival Castle, Lena found out she was pregnant. With severe morning sickness, she could hardly eat and was dry heaving, so Leo hurriedly rented a carriage. He covered the lack of funds by selling the sword he possessed.

When they arrived home, Lena’s belly had grown to the point it couldn’t be hidden anymore.

Was it because of that? No one questioned how they had returned, not while the war was still ongoing. Only Leo’s father, Noel Dexter, knew the reason and quietly kept his mouth shut.

The wedding was hastily arranged. Even so, they couldn’t violate the customs of the Ainar tribe, so while preparations were underway, the names of Leo Dexter and Lena Ainar fluttered on a long banner for three days.

And on the day of the wedding.

As the Ainar tribe gathered like clouds, the priest who officiated solemnly declared.

“…We give thanks to God for the birth of a couple.”

Lena smiled brightly.

A smile that seemed to wish for nothing more. Leo Dexter felt an inexplicable ache in his heart but returned a bright smile.

Were they happy afterward?

I don’t know.

[ Lena got married! Congratulations! ]

All I can do is hope like that and wait for the ending… as Lena and the world grew distant, darkness settled.