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190. Engagement – Breath

“Let’s talk for a moment.”

“Yes.”

Noel Dexter called for his son. After returning to the study, he seated Leo and looked at him with wide eyes in disbelief.

Lena, who followed, wore a dazed expression.

“Since when?”

“Around the day before yesterday.”

Noel nodded. He wanted to pat his son on the shoulder and praise him, but it was not so easy.

His son had just leaped over him.

And it was quite a big leap.

Noel Dexter was at a loss for words, his mouth moving without sound for a moment. Recalling the brief sparring session they had just had, he let out a faint, exasperated laugh.

He was somewhat confident in his swordsmanship.

He was the youngest knight celebrated in the Asran Kingdom, having perfected his own sword technique through a tumultuous civil war.

This process hadn’t felt particularly difficult. When holding a sword, it guided him towards the direction he wanted to go, and there was certainly a clear answer. A sword path that he found genuinely attractive tempted him.

It was a time when the despair of my older brother, who couldn’t keep up with me and looked at me like a monster, felt oddly strange instead.

Of course, I didn’t think I was the best. There were untouchable monsters in this world called Swordmasters, and when I retired and went down to Abrival Castle, for the first time, I encountered a wall.

The sword still showed me the path, but that was more of a reversion than something new. It was merely a habit.

Only then did I come to understand.

The despair of the knight who faced a wall and the howls of my drunk older brother. I realized it was merely luck that had favored me.

Still, there was a certain pride in my heart. I guessed my skills would rank among the best on the continent, and I presumed this wall before me was the final gate to becoming a Swordmaster.

However, even this was arrogance.

Although my son had surpassed me, he was not a Swordmaster. Having watched Senior Arpen from nearby, I realized just how wide the gap between me and the respected senior was. It was only now, with Leo intervening, that I understood.

I was just an ordinary knight.

“What are you planning to do now?”

Noel Dexter asked. It was an acknowledgment that he had no more to teach, and his son quietly nodded and opened his mouth.

“I want to become a knight.”

…I see.

However, Noel remained silent. The response that he would write a recommendation letter got stuck in his throat, but it seemed his son didn’t need such things.

Then Leo spoke up.

“First, I’d like to meet the Lord. There’s quite a bit of time until the Knights Order entrance exam, so I want to gain experience as a temporary knight at Abrival Castle.”

“…That sounds good. Very well, let’s meet the Lord tomorrow.”

With no further advice to give about his son’s future, the father stood up, part pride, part reverence as he placed a hand on his son’s shoulder.

“Mother will be proud.”

“…”

“Then I’ll be off for a bit.”

Leo saw off his father, who was going to set an appointment with the Lord. After looking at his father’s back, he clenched his fist.

‘I’ve defeated father for the first time.’

The past rushed back vividly.

The first round, when I couldn’t even keep up with the war due to my terrible sword skills. I sneaked in to support but ended up getting beaten to a pulp by my father. I limped for days, and Lena went to the battlefield alone. And she never returned.

The second round, when I could finally participate in the war due to our engagement.

I fought desperately with Katrina, and I lost a thumb, while Lena lost an arm. I returned like a defeated soldier, married Lena.

The third round, thanks to {Pass] I easily earned my father’s recognition. After a fierce battle with Katrina, I negotiated to send her back, and while on guard duty, I was killed by Count Hermann Forte. The sight of Lena striking her chest and breaking her neck armor still vivid in my memory.

And the third round when I didn’t go to war.

That was the last round Leo could remember. The time when I tried to break off my engagement with Lena, an unpleasant memory I preferred not to recall. Lena’s face, filled with rage, haunted me.

The fourth round… I have no recollection. Minseo, who was supposed to transfer the memories, had lost his senses, so all Leo could remember were the ending texts he saw at the end.

If that was all, he would only know about the major events that happened at that time, but fortunately, in the last moment of ‘my’ disappearance, I had murmured some warnings.

Like to beware of Yuan and Count Brina, or that the reactions of my uncle and Lena were strange when I visited my mother’s grave, among others, some of which were trivial stories.

No, not trivial. They were all stories related to Lena.

‘Me’ recounted the memories of Lena up until the last moment. About how she had hidden a leather strap to gift me, or how we drunkenly drank until we could sleep together, never letting go of each other during our travels, often kissing…

“…”

Why had I spilled these things? Why did I judge them worthy of passing on to the next in line, babbling all the details?

The ending text suggested it wasn’t a happy conclusion.

‘…It must mean to cooperate with Minseo.’

It was a sign to stop because I had been sufficiently happy. Knowing I wouldn’t remember, I had insisted on it.

Honestly, I wasn’t eager at first.

Thinking of the wounds Lena would have received upon being told of the broken engagement, I felt my teeth grind. I still wrestled with self-blame for being Minseo, yet simultaneously felt disgusted for being Leo Dexter.

I could not leave my room, struggling to manage those complicated emotions. The feeling of having killed my younger sister with my own hands surged back, and the message left by my previous self reassured me.

We were happy.

I had ignored all the {events} while I ran around, so it was a request to forgive Minseo.

‘But is happiness all there is?’ ─ a thought crossed my mind, but that blame fell squarely back on me. So I couldn’t run away.

Leo shook his head. The sense of accomplishment from having defeated his father had long worn off, and he turned back with a bitter expression, only to find a surprisingly quiet Lena behind him.

“…Should I go to the market? I said I was going to get a leather strap.”

“…”

“What’s wrong?”

Lena lifted her head, staring blankly at Leo before saying, “Forget it” and pressing her lips shut. Without saying another word, she headed towards the backyard.

“Lena?”

What now?

Leo, confused, chased after Lena. She stepped out into an open area, drew her sword, and began to swing it in silence.

After a moment, she admitted to herself that she was acting foolishly. With her sword drooping, she turned to speak.

“I didn’t expect your skills to improve this much. Congratulations.”

Her voice was unusually calm for Lena.

She wore a collected expression. A slight smile crossed her lips, but her eyes betrayed no joy, only a hint of sorrow.

“I too… need to try harder.”

Lena turned her back. She swung her sword once more, and white breath swirled around her.

The breath was blown away by the cold wind and soon dissipated.

*

Abrival Castle is a mountain castle.

It isn’t very tall, but it’s set on a rather steep ridge, so space was cramped, and because of this, the Lord’s Castle served more as a command tower attached to the castle walls than as an independent living space.

And the owner of that command tower, Dialo Brina, welcomed his guests. “Welcome!” he exclaimed, bursting into a wide grin as he led the guests to the reception room.

Since it was a mountain castle with a strong military purpose, the reception room was somewhat rough. The floor was made up of large stones that were hard like the walls, and there was no decoration worth boasting about.

The wide room was furnished only with a lonely table and shabby furniture, but someone had taken care to lay out a clean tablecloth.

On the table lay crusty bread, three types of snacks, and two teapots. Before sitting down, Noel Dexter bent slightly to express his gratitude.

“I don’t know what to do with this hospitality from the Lord.”

As his father bowed his head, Leo followed suit and adopted a polite posture. Lena came along, but she was quiet since yesterday, bowing her head a beat late as if lost in thought.

“Ha ha ha. It’s an honor for me to host a retired knight of your stature… I apologize for not having much to offer. If the merchant group hadn’t stopped by, we wouldn’t even have this.” Oh, right, we should get another teacup.

Dialo Brina called for a handmaiden to bring another teacup.

The four of them soon gathered around the table. “How’s life these days?” “I heard you’re still training the soldiers in your spare time. Your loyalty to the kingdom is truly admirable even in retirement.” As Dialo tossed about trivial subjects, he shifted his gaze toward Leo.

“So this must be your son whom you spoke of yesterday.”

“Yes. That’s right. I’ve been teaching him, and recently he has made significant progress in swordsmanship. He wishes to gain experience at Abrival Castle as a temporary knight until the Knights Order entrance exam.”

“As a knight?”

“Yes. I’m not requesting an official appointment, just a temporary position would suffice.”

“Hmm…”

Dialo Brina stroked his plump chin. After sneaking a glance at Leo with his small eyes, he sensed he was dealing with an extraordinary young man, but he hesitated before responding.

Even a temporary position as a knight was a significant matter. For a typical lord, it would be a welcomed opportunity, but his position was somewhat different.

Dialo was not just an ordinary lord.

Abrival Castle used to belong to the Kazak barony but was confiscated and became a direct territory of the king, and he was acting as a deputy governor here.

The weight of the title of the king’s deputy was enormous. Dialo was satisfied with his position, so he could joke about it; however, under the guise of ‘the king’s orders,’ he could wield power at will.

Not to mention judicial and administrative matters, but even foreign affairs and military.

He was also the one governing the national army stationed at Abrival Castle.

Thus, the appointment of a knight by Dialo was different from hiring a knight for a noble family. It was practically selecting a knight for the kingdom, and it could elicit protests from the Knights Order claiming it was an overreach.

‘But still, he’s the son of that famous noble slaughterer… would it really be fine?’

Dialo stroked his chin for a moment before reaching a conclusion. He wanted to avoid anything that could put his position in jeopardy, so he devised a way to share the responsibility with others.

“I don’t doubt your words. However, I believe there should be at least some sort of test.”

That plan involved having the knights evaluate Leo’s abilities.

Since Abrival Castle was a military stronghold, four knights from the kingdom were stationed there. Dialo summoned them immediately and asked whether Noel Dexter’s son had the qualifications to become a temporary knight.

I thought, well, I wouldn’t have to take responsibility for evaluating the knights…

“……I lost.”

My worries were unfounded. Leo defeated the kingdom’s knight in just six exchanges, and the summoned knights could hardly conceal their shock.

The issue wasn’t simply losing in a duel. The age and skill of the victor mattered.

“How on earth… at that age?”

I heard he had just become an adult.

It wasn’t unprecedented for someone his age to become a knight. Right next to him, Noel Dexter became a knight around that age too.

But getting appointed as a knight and ‘easily’ defeating a current knight of the kingdom were significantly different.

The four knights looked at Leo as if he were a monster. Then, upon realizing Leo was Noel Dexter’s son, they nodded in understanding.

“Then, there seem to be no objections!”

Dialo Brina, who had been watching the duel, broke into a wide smile.

Producing a knight of such caliber was a testament to the lord’s virtues, and he couldn’t find himself complaining about such good fortune.

“Indeed, the son of a renowned knight is truly exceptional. I will grant you the position of temporary knight as you wish. Since you expressed a desire to gain experience, we’ll assign you duties as well. As for a mentor…”

It’s only natural for a new knight to have a mentor. So Dialo glanced back, but the four knights shook their heads. None wanted to be mentored by the clearly promising junior.

Dialo understood and held back any mention of a mentor.

“As you are a temporary knight, I suppose it wouldn’t be an issue to go without one, right? My apologies to the retired knight, but Lord Noel Dexter, you will lend your support for four months.”

Noel nodded, and it seemed the matter was settled. Until Lena suddenly stepped forward.

“Let me take the test as well!”

Lena’s eyes were ablaze with determination as she stepped forward in front of the lord and the royal knights.