Chapter 511 – Arrival.
Something didn’t go smoothly, but after taking a long detour, I managed to achieve the short-term goal of getting the martial artists to exercise.
As for the lesson about forgiveness, that was just a bonus.
“My arm… my arm won’t go up…”
“Why the hell did your arm break while running on the treadmill, you f*cking idiot…”
This was possible only because of the terror imprinted due to the fear of Hyeji.
But this can’t be considered a fundamental solution to the problem.
Cheonma’s requirement was to make them stop being lazy.
Without Hyeji, they would wilt away helplessly in no time.
“What’s the point of doing this kind of thing…”
“Weren’t you the martial artist? A martial artist should be doing this as a basic, right?”
Look! Isn’t there a chubby female martial artist whining about exercising right now?
“The martial artists are done for. They’re just primitive monkeys who fight barehanded.”
“……. Oh…”
That was a severe enough state that even Caressy couldn’t respond.
[No matter what, using claws or a gauntlet would still make a martial artist powerful, right?]
‘That’s because the weapon is strong, not the person.’
[Ah, f*ck.]
Still, Caressy regained her composure and continued encouraging the female martial artist.
“But exercising is a good thing! It must be done!”
“So what are the benefits? Tell me.”
Honestly, she was so desperate that it sparked questions.
Was it simply out of stubbornness not to want to be beaten by a woman?
Or was it some sense of responsibility for the words she had initially thrown out?
Maybe it was just compassion from the saintess for a lamb in need?
I couldn’t pinpoint it exactly due to her rambling, but at least one thing seemed clear.
“If needed, I could shoot a body profile! So as much as I train my body, I can proudly show it off to others!”
“That kind of thing shouldn’t exist! Why are you endorsing such a disgusting culture of showing off your body? The purpose of losing weight is for health, not for that lowly culture! Your words stem from the mindset of a whore!”
Caressy couldn’t easily give up this martial artist woman.
“I don’t know about that, but you sure are speaking just like you look.”
“Shut your mouth, you b*tch!”
Of course, now Caressy also gave up and started spouting whatever came to mind.
Meanwhile, Elcia had a male martial artist standing on a weighing scale, and for once, she was speaking a little roughly yet politely.
It seemed like Elcia hadn’t given up yet like Caressy.
“Look at these numbers! Don’t you feel like you should lose some weight?”
“Then how light are you? Step on it once.”
But as soon as Elcia was pushed onto the scale by the male martial artist—
– Crack!
“Why are you breaking it!? What crime did I commit?!”
Suddenly Elcia stomped on the scale with her foot, smashing it.
“For the sin of speaking the truth!”
“……You shouldn’t be doing that… weren’t you trying to provoke them into exercising…?”
What followed was quite a shocking statement.
“Just f*cking give up! Don’t you agree?!”
“……. Right…?”
Strongly stating that they would give up on training and everything.
“Exactly! What kind of training is that?!”
“Everyone just die early, f*ck!!!”
Well, I thought it was a natural result.
In fact, the mistake was made the moment I chose an honest response method against them.
Even if they’re called martial artists, at their core, they are just hunter wannabes.
Trying to measure them with a standard like a legit martial faction was bound to fail.
“Shinwoo, what are you going to do?”
“Yare yare, it’s my turn now.”
So this time, I decided to step in.
Of course, I had no intention of violating Cheonma’s requirements.
First, I had given them an awakening, and all that was left was to ensure they wouldn’t be lazy.
Simply, that was just the way I showed them the heterodox faction’s methods.
“Master, can we really do this?”
“We should just give up on these guys…”
“Just trust me.”
So first, I called Cheonma.
“Hey.”
– “Didn’t I say I was busy!!!!”
It seemed even a little annoyed at being interrupted from watching a VTuber show.
A loud voice burst from the receiver, nearly bursting my eardrums.
Of course, I ignored that and continued the conversation.
“Can I feed these dogs meat?”
– “You can’t! They puffed up because you fed them meat!”
It was a very odd reason, but I didn’t care.
“So you mean I should feed them mainly ‘salad’ and ‘health food,’ right?”
– “If you’re going to say such obvious things, then why did you call?!”
“In my view, ‘salad’ and ‘health food’ are what I’m talking about. Got it?”
– “Fine, just hang up quickly! I need to check the donation reactions!”
Once I got Cheonma’s instruction to make their diet primarily vegetarian and health-focused, it was enough.
As soon as the call with Cheonma ended, I immediately contacted Ayeon.
This time, I didn’t even call and just sent a one-sided text.
It consisted of just three letters: ‘Health Food.’
It might seem a little heartless.
But it was a bold move I could make because I trusted Ayeon.
Before long, Ayeon showed up.
“Here you go, I prepared it.”
“Thanks.”
She held a bunch of health foods, and soon started serving them in front of the exhausted martial artists.
It was a perfectly composed meal made solely of health food, understanding my intent.
As soon as it was all set, one male martial artist spoke to Ayeon.
“……What is this…?”
“As you can see, it’s the perfect health food for you all.”
Ayeon responded with unbothered confidence, but the martial artist still couldn’t shake off his doubt.
“…….Is this…?”
“Yes.”
Now, trembling, he began to point with his fingertip at the freshly prepared dishes Ayeon had just arranged.
“Macarons and milk tea…?”
It was a mountain of various types of macarons piled up and a large quantity of milk tea.
Naturally, these were purchased from the bakery below our building.
Meanwhile, Ayeon boldly faced the blank stares.
“That’s correct.”
“……What the f*ck. How is this a perfect health food…?”
I could somewhat understand the martial artists’ ignorant reactions.
Cheonma’s guild policy was too harsh, restricting their diets extremely.
Because of this, martial artists had little exposure to such complete food, leading to a lack of information.
Thus, Ayeon began to enlighten them.
“Powder made from almonds good for dieting, butter and cream cheese derived from complete milk, and protein-rich egg whites are the main ingredients.”
“Then, what about the milk tea!”
Why macarons are truly the perfect food.
“Since we put milk in Hong Cha, which is nutritionally ineffective, combining it provides better nutrition than just milk, which makes it easier to consume, doesn’t it?”
“…Is that so…?”
Even the great benefits of milk tea, which were beyond their understanding.
Soon, Ayeon sent them a look urging them to eat.
Receiving her gaze, a martial artist reluctantly took a big bite of a macaron.
What followed was a tremendous astonishment from the martial artist.
“This, this taste is apocalyptic!”
“Ah, that’s what ‘delicious’ means.”
It seemed so moving that tears even flowed.
“Where on earth did you get this tasty stuff?”
“Don’t you know? You can get that from the bakery in this building.”
“This world is amazing!”
From there, the other martial artists also reached out for macarons and milk tea.
Like bees and butterflies entranced by the sweet scent, they flew over without even realizing it.
Of course, a small number of martial artists did not do that.
“Wait! I’m a vegan!”
“I’ll at least eat the salad!”
“Get that disgusting food away, you non-vegans!”
It felt a bit odd, but it wasn’t too strange a sight either.
After all, everyone has their dietary habits.
So, there surely could be vegans among them.
That’s why I decided to step in here.
“Here’s your salad.”
“…….Are you crazy?”
I handed over the beer I was going to drink.
However, these vegan bastards were far from satisfied with that.
They even displayed an impolite attitude, getting angry.
“What the f*ck is beer doing as salad?!”
It seemed like the saying that a vegetarian diet makes one more irritable and unable to think clearly could very well be true.
If not, there wouldn’t be such picky eaters.
But here, I decided to give it a pass just this once.
“What do you think beer is made of?”
“Of course, hops.”
They just didn’t know better, it wasn’t that they were being obstinate.
“So what’s hops?”
“……Ah.”
Why beer is, in fact, the perfect salad for vegans.
“Since it’s made from plants, it’s naturally a salad. Think about it, you idiot.”
“Oh… I see…!”
Finally, the vegans started to grasp it as they began drinking the beer.
Still, the vegetarian claim didn’t seem entirely untrue, as they stuck to eating just the macaron part.
Honestly, it was reaching a point beyond absurdity, almost astonishing.
I felt like quietly paying my respects to their food beliefs.
“Shinwoo, it seems being a vegan is tough, huh?”
“Understand, it’s because their body’s acidity decreases with the vegetarian diet.”
“If they ate meat, they would also absorb the nutrients from the vegetables the animals ate—they’re just being stupid!”
“There might be food allergies, so don’t be too harsh on them.”
“They’d struggle to get to heaven. God hates vegans since He didn’t accept Cain’s sacrifice.”
At that moment, Piece suddenly spoke to me.
[Hey, I’m suddenly curious about something.]
‘If you’re gonna say nonsense, just don’t say anything.’
[That’s not what it is.]
‘Then just say it.’
Despite my sharp warning, Piece answered calmly.
Honestly, till now, I had only been subjected to Piece’s nonsense.
Not through logical reasoning like mine, but purely through absurdities.
But seeing this kind of clear response, I figured Piece would say something proper this time.
[Is it okay for vegans to have internal ejaculation? They would be getting protein through the lower entry, right?]
‘I told you not to talk nonsense, you b*tch.’
Once was hard; from the second time, it became easy.
This b*tch just keeps spewing nonsense.
Anyway, in the end, I managed to meet Cheonma’s requirements.
As for the awakening, it was the virtue of forgiveness achieved through Hyeji’s somewhat crude method.
Simultaneously, I could perfectly teach them why the food we provided was really perfect.
And lastly, I managed to completely correct their lazy attitude as well.
“I want to cancel my annual membership.”
“Really?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
Now these guys weren’t languid or lazy as before, but were acting far more proactively.
“This is a bakery, you know.”
“I know.”
Well, even though their weight would definitely increase more than now.
A somewhat bleak situation was confirmed for the future.
But after that, there were only truly peaceful moments.
Cheonma yelling at me.
“You crazy bastard! I never told you to turn the martial artists into piglets!”
“Then clearly explain yourself, you bastard.”
Going around desperately asking for help everywhere.
“Shinwoo, have you tried contacting anyone?”
“Everyone’s willing to help; it’ll just take a little time.”
“I’ve managed to gather as much as I could.”
“That’s a relief.”
And enjoying some unwanted leisure with heroines.
“How about we try out the play that comes up here?”
“If you request it… please don’t… watch… that… erotic stuff…”
“I like those three things!”
“F*ck.”
Yet, breaking this peace, an anomaly occurs.
Just a few days after enjoying tranquility.
Suddenly, and as if it was the most natural thing, it appeared.
It was a gate.
Far larger than other gates, incomparable.
In a bizarre and ominous form, one I’d never seen before.
Then, not long after, that gate began to glow.
Sluggishly.
With a sticky black light.
It felt just like the signal for an apocalypse had been turned on.
