〈 Episode 339 〉 Episode 331 – Breaking the Academy (1)
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Once again, a firework exploded loudly.
The dazzling lights illuminated everyone’s faces.
Second-year academy students, professors, staff, and even the chief.
All had different faces, but.
Every face had a blank expression as if they couldn’t comprehend the situation.
While the magnificent fireworks exploded, only silence sank deeply.
Then, one professor slowly started to express confusion while pointing at me.
“Ki, Kim Shinwoo… are you in your right mind?”
“Ah! It’s Sibaruchan, you know!”
“……Well, you seem to be in your right mind.”
The professor let out a sigh of relief for a moment.
This time, a clearly loud and eccentric student yelled at me.
“Sibaruchan? Don’t insult my ex-ex-ex-ex wife, Serval-chan!”
[……Ex-ex-ex-ex? Wife?］
‘You know how those otaku’s wives change every quarter. That one lasted quite a while.’
[Ah, right. The Dutch wife system, wasn’t it?］
Suddenly, like the professor earlier, he pointed a finger at me.
“That disgusting way of talking, trying to imitate that half-assed Serval-chan! I can’t accept it!”
“Huh? Is the way I talk the problem?”
“Yes! At least try speaking like a Friend!!! How do you think you’re a Friend!!!”
It was a male student demanding I speak correctly.
“I am Sibaruchan, you fucking bastard.”
“……”
“Got it, you motherfucker?”
The moment I claimed to be a Friend, the student fell silent instantly.
He was probably shocked to see a real Friend in front of him.
Then, another staff member yelled angrily.
“Kemono Friends! That’s not a one-man show to begin with!”
“One-man show? That’s disappointing!”
Surely, Kemono Friends needs many Friends to live up to its name.
So, I decided to showcase our Kemono Friends.
“Gather, friends!”
At my words, numerous footsteps were heard.
Finally, the Friends started to appear.
“Croooaaar!”
“Kwakkakak!”
“I’m Parkno Kiki!”
“Woof! Woof! Woof!”
“Cut open the belly, El.”
“I am a sea hero! Here to uphold justice!”
Right there, the animal friends from the mountains (Kemono Friends).
[……Isn’t there more that doesn’t seem like animals?］
‘Either way, all those beast kids are pretty much the same.’
By objective standards, there were quite a number of animals.
Naturally, they included the animals that were originally at the academy.
And those who escaped from the chief’s house this time too, of course.
However, compared to the crowd that was now targeting me, it felt utterly insufficient.
“Everyone here is a Friend!”
“Wh-where’s Bag-chan! Without Bag-chan, it’s just a zoo!!!”
Still, the staff member seemed unconvinced.
Probably because the main character of Kemono Friends, Bag-chan, wasn’t present.
But of course, Bag-chan was there.
“If it’s Bag-chan, I’m right here!”
“R-Really?”
The staff member expressed excitement, with a glimmer of hope in their eyes.
“Say hi! It’s Bag-chan!”
“Stop messing around, Kim Shinwoo, you little shit!!!”
An animal slowly appeared beside me.
The staff member began to explode in anger again.
Pointing a finger at the creature appearing next to me.
“That’s just a fucking crocodile!!!”
“No, it’s Bag-chan!!!”
“How on earth is that Bag-chan!!! There’s no bag!!!”
The animal was, indeed, a crocodile.
The staff member still couldn’t suppress their anger, but honestly, I felt wronged.
Because the crocodile appearing next to me was.
“This one is set to join Louis Vuitton soon!!!”
“……Oh.”
It was about to become Bag-chan soon.
Even if it wasn’t right now.
At this point, you could easily call it Bag-chan.
With this, securing the last hurdle of Bag Friends was completed.
[Friends are fucking!!! You sold them off, remember!!!］
‘Originally, a Friend exists because they help you, okay?’
My meticulous logic left everyone speechless in admiration.
Only one person couldn’t contain their boiling anger and charged in.
That protagonist was, of course, the chief.
“I will fucking kill you!!!”
“Eh, what? Really?”
As I showed a startled reaction, the chief twisted his face in rage.
My surprised reaction seemed to amuse him.
“Kuhuh! Only now does this number seem a bit scary, huh?”
But I couldn’t help but be shocked by the charging chief.
Because.
“You can finally run now!!! Sugooi!!!”
“Hey, you bastard!!!!!!”
The chief was charging towards me, dragging his hefty body.
With a dirty face crumpled, his bloodshot eyes fixed on me, he started to come closer.
Soon after, the rest began to follow the chief, reigniting their fury towards me.
“How dare a beast fucker speak so much!!!”
“I’ll kick you off like the Kemono production team!!!”
“Do you think this number is enough?!!!”
It was a wave of people rushing at me.
Even with my animal friends, it seemed difficult to stop that flow.
It was an elemental power difference due to sheer numbers.
But there was no need for me to step in and stop it.
“St-Stop, everyone!!!”
“Ch-Ch-Chief! That’s a bit difficult right now!”
The chief, who was leading the charge.
He suddenly stopped and managed to halt the rushing wave.
“Anyway, just stop!!!”
In the end, the chief had the final command, so everyone had to obey him.
Forced to stop, they all began to grumble and express their complaints.
Since there were many, the backlash was likewise significant.
“Don’t push, you bastards! Even though I look like this, I’m a professor!!!”
“So what if you’re a professor, you bald bastard! Can’t you see my arm’s broken!”
“Who the fuck grabbed my head! Hair loss treatment is expensive these days!”
“Who’s the bastard poking my ass with a toothpick! It hurts!”
“……It’s not a toothpick, you bitch.”
Thanks to the chief, they managed to stop just a bit away from me.
Before the crowd’s chaos could fully settle down.
Some quickly posed their questions to the chief.
Demanding to know the reason for his sudden actions.
“Chief! Why did you tell us to stop all of a sudden?!”
“There are too many injuries! Can we file this for industrial accident compensation?!”
“Please tell us the reason!”
All eyes filled with questions turned to the chief.
However, the chief was mumbling something to himself.
For some reason, he was puffing up a lot down below.
“I’m standing… I’m standing… I stood up!”
[……Wasn’t that supposed to be a somewhat emotional line?］
‘It might be emotional for him.’
Then, the crowd’s hostility instantly morphed.
“Even if it’s an academy, this isn’t the time!!!”
“…Could it be… you’re looking at me… and ended up like that…? I’m… a man…?”
“If you think of me as a plaything, I’ll kill you!!!”
“Get those filthy eyes away, you bastard!!!”
From discontented questions turned to intense disgust.
In accordance, the chief waved his hands, rejecting the flying words in a fluster.
He was so urgent that he even momentarily bit his tongue at first.
“Ah, no! This is a radar! It hardens and grows when detected, it’s a radar!”
“What kind of bullshit radar exists in this world!”
“Well, it is bullshit! But anyway!”
The despicable path of the chief.
That’s how the group feels about him.
But I believe the chief’s judgment to stop them was extremely correct.
However, before my thoughts could even finish, a professor threw a spear at me.
Whoosh!!!
A sharp spear sliced through the air, aiming for my head.
But that wouldn’t be of any use.
Not only could my head block that spear, but above all.
Thud!!!
“You should’ve aimed for my heart instead.”
This time, there was no need for me to take action.
An entity that suddenly popped out next to me caught the incoming spear with its huge mouth.
Seeing that scene, the professor who threw the spear finally faltered.
“……W-What…”
While it could be said that he was surprised by the spear being caught.
The others watching also openly stammered in disbelief.
Each of them seemed to be shaking in astonishment.
“…….H-How…”
“Impossible…….”
“…..Is that… real…?”
It certainly was shocking.
They probably didn’t expect this at all.
Except for our party.
Crack!
Thud. Thunk.
Soon, one spear was left behind with a scream, turning into two spears that fell to the ground.
With a menacing yet threatening growl emanating from the creature that caught the spear.
“Growrrrr…!”
Using that growl as a signal.
The rest of the hidden entities began to gradually reveal themselves.
Didn’t I say before?
This is the Academy Park.
Then the Friends that fit perfectly with that background should appear.
Just like those entities that are presently showing up.
Before long, numerous gigantic entities surrounded the crowd.
They showed hostile gazes towards them.
Because, by their nature, they were supposed to act that way.
They were a nemesis to hunters.
But to me, they were another set of Kemono Friends.
“…….Mon…ster…?”
It was none other than a monster.
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