〈 Chapter 253 〉 To the Beastman Kingdom!
*
“What the hell, you’re supposed to contact me but why aren’t you answering?!!!”
“Hey, I’m innocent.”
Honestly, what would you do if you got a call from an unknown number?
A normal person would probably hang up right away.
[Normal people pick up the phone!]
‘What are you talking about? With elections going on, who picks up a call from a 070 number?’
[…Now that I think about it, that’s true.]
Since I’m not a job seeker anymore, I have no reason to cling to incoming calls.
I pointed out this obvious fact to the still huffing Caressy.
“Why didn’t you just call with your phone?”
“……I lost my phone.”
“Oh, you idiot.”
[Who are you calling an idiot? You’re just a higher-tier idiot.］
‘Have you been speaking rough lately?’
It seems she had lost her phone and was using various other phones to get by.
Caressy looked angry at my remark, trembling with rage and suddenly started swinging her fists while shouting.
“Is it a crime to just answer the phone?!!!”
“I was doing something really important.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. What were you up to?”
Caressy went from angry to a apologetic expression.
“I was doing a full-force manual control, and you made me miss the play.”
“What the hell!!! The compensation difference is practically nothing anyway!!!”
“I almost got the trophy this time. Trophies are important.”
“You jerk!!!”
Caressy was fuming and pulling her hair out.
Just then, with wild eyes, she tried to grab my collar.
Feeling the sensation in my lower body, her face turned crimson in an instant.
“Are you saying you were looking at me?!”
“Oh, this?”
I tried to explain, but Caressy lost it first.
“Having lust for the Saintess! Someone who already has plenty of girlfriends isn’t satisfied, huh!”
“Caressy? This is—”
“Still, it’s a physiological phenomenon because I’m attractive, so I’ll let it slide this time!”
She even interrupted me and kept rambling.
Her face was still red while she was mumbling.
“If it were normal, it’d be a profane act, and I’d have to punish you, but I’ll forgive you just this once!”
“Caressy?”
She seemed oddly happy.
However, I couldn’t just let her stay lost in delusions.
I quickly intervened as she kept rambling in excitement.
“Caressy, I have something to say.”
“What, what, what! You’re suddenly going to speak now?!”
“Actually—”
“W-Wait a minute!!! At least prepare your heart for this!!!”
With her face even redder than before, Caressy was panicking, and I smiled at her.
“I was just jerking off a while ago.”
“Haaaaaaaak!!!!!”
Now she was lost for words and making weird sounds.
That was quite cat-like.
As her face returned to normal, she wore an astonished expression and grabbed my collar.
“So that’s why you didn’t open the door!!!”
“It was an important moment.”
“Oh, I get it, so don’t come any closer!!! Get that monstrosity out of my sight!!!”
Feeling the sensation in my lower body, Caressy jumped back in shock.
Seeing that was too funny, I approached Caressy with a sinister grin.
“Hey, what are you going to do about my hard-on?”
“You unholy being!!!!!!”
Thwack!!!
“……What the…?”
This shouldn’t have happened.
As they say, a cornered rat will bite a cat.
This time, cornered Caressy kicked my lower body.
‘It hurts……’
[From today onward, I guess I need to tag it as TS.］
‘It hasn’t exploded yet, you jerk.’
For a brief moment, everything went white in front of me.
Fortunately, both sides were unharmed.
I couldn’t help but slump down looking utterly foolish.
“My little buddy is dead… you murderer…”
“It was self-defense.”
But because of the powerful shock therapy, my hard-on completely disappeared.
“……Well, that’s… resolved.”
“Don’t say it explicitly!!!”
Caressy was grumbling, but she walked behind me and started kicking my tailbone.
Still, it seemed the title of Saintess wasn’t just for show.
“Thanks… I thought I was going to die.”
“Don’t do that kind of confusing stuff.”
“Caressy.”
“…What is it?”
I decided to firmly establish this point with Caressy.
“Do you really think I’m crazy enough to get hard over a pet?”
“Just drop dead.”
Thwack!
“……Hey, shit…… not twice…”
[Uh… have you disappeared?… Kim Shinwoo?］
‘No, you bastard.’
Because of that useless crap, I needed a bit more time to recover.
*
“Anyway, are we going to the Beastman Kingdom?”
“Yes! I really need you!”
After I fully recovered.
Caressy abruptly asked me to go to the Beastman Kingdom.
Sure, we had promised to go, but…
“Can’t we go later?”
“It’s urgent!”
Honestly, I found it annoying to leave right away.
Besides, I didn’t think my presence would make that much of a difference.
But it seemed Caressy thought otherwise.
“The Beastman Kingdom is going mad because of the church’s bastards. We need your help.”
“Isn’t it a den of madmen? A fake madman like me wouldn’t help much.”
“……At least in my life, the craziest person I’ve met is you.”
[But still, why not just go if they’re saying that?］
‘Fine, I’ll go then.’
So we headed to the Beastman Kingdom.
[Don’t just write it off in a single narration!!!!!］
‘Shit, this isn’t working. It seemed fine in other stories.’
I waved my hand at Caressy and cast the summoning spell.
“I’ll go later. But not today. I’m feeling weird since I’m only halfway prepped.”
“There’s something amazing in the Beastman Kingdom.”
“If it doesn’t show up, I swear I’ll kick you one right in front of you.”
As I kept being uncooperative, Caressy dangled a tempting bait.
“Recently, a beastman with a raccoon’s body and a duck’s bill appeared.”
“……What?”
And I bit the bait.
“It has webbed feet, and its claws can produce poison.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. That kind of creature can’t possibly exist.”
“But even with a raccoon’s body, it lays eggs when it gives birth.”
“……Really?”
I stared at Caressy with half curiosity and half suspicion.
No matter how I thought about it, that type of creature couldn’t exist.
However, the following words from Caressy completely lifted my doubts.
“I swear on the Lord.”
“Let’s go.”
Caressy invoked the name of the Lord.
This was a clear indication of truth.
A reason to definitely go.
While I hurriedly packed my bags.
Caressy began mumbling with a serious expression.
“This will help us regain my position and restore the original form of the Beastman Kingdom.”
Of course, I didn’t hear it because I was just focused on confirming what she said.
After managing to throw my stuff together, I turned to Caressy.
“Can I bring my girlfriends?”
“I don’t care.”
Immediately, I contacted the heroines in our group chat.
Me: [I’m looking for people to go to Zootopia right now. If you come, that’s it.]
After a brief moment, I got responses from the heroines.
Dogu: [I don’t want to because it smells like a dog.]
Ganf: [Where are you looking away? I’m more beastly than those bastards!]
Champi: [I don’t want to go since they belittled the succubus as a bat. If they’re feeling wronged, they should just put out their own.]
They all didn’t seem very interested in going.
But as soon as I shared what I had heard from Caressy, their attitudes completely flipped.
Dogu: [Do those bastards have tits too? I’m in.]
Ganf: [Do they lay fertilized eggs too? Then I won’t have to worry about eggs for a lifetime!]
Champi: [That’s absurd. I’d rather believe the Nopia server isn’t going to crash.]
In the end, they all couldn’t resist their curiosity and decided to head to the Beastman Kingdom with me.
Meanwhile, something Caressy said earlier stuck with me.
That the Beastman Kingdom was going mad because of the church.
“Caressy, is the situation in the Beastman Kingdom really serious?”
“It’s a bit serious.”
Seeing Caressy’s serious expression, I realized I was getting nervous.
I cautiously opened my mouth, just in case.
“Is it that we’re going not to Zootopia but Vista’s?”
“Stop messing around with places!!! ”
[Are you not scared of a lawsuit anymore!!!］
‘Let’s just hold an event guessing where it came from once we get the lawsuit later.’
[Shit.]
I half-gave up.
It’s practically confirmed that we’re going, so why stress over it?
Better to enjoy the ride.
Caressy refuted my statement before grabbing her head and looking gloomy.
“It’s quite a mad place.”
“…What?”
“Anyway, be careful.”
Although I felt that what Caressy said was serious, I didn’t ask more since we had decided to go.
As she was about to leave the house, she added.
“I’ll go ahead, so meet me at the church’s cathedral.”
“But how do I cross over?”
“Open your map app. Just go to the gate at the location I marked and say my name. The cost has already been paid.”
“Got it.”
With that, Caressy hurriedly vanished from sight.
It seemed like her words weren’t completely false about the situation being serious.
After sharing the map location with the heroines, I told them to pack their bags and get ready.
[Are we really going?］
‘We made a promise. I’m curious too.’
When we arrived at the gate, the heroines also arrived at a similar time.
There was no reason to delay, so I quickly went to the staff and mentioned Caressy’s name.
The staff immediately began operating the gate.
As we waited for the gate to fully activate.
Each heroine took a moment to express their resolve.
“All guys with tits are enemies.”
“I should conduct market research for here.”
“If a beastman mates with an animal, is that beastiality?”
“Hey, shit, that’s a tough one.”
As we pondered Elcia’s conundrum, the gate activated.
That’s right. It was time to move.
When we stepped through the activated gate.
Peace voiced his concerns to me.
[Usually at this point, one feels uneasy.］
‘I’ve been through enough terrible experiences, what’s there to fear?’
I’ve compressed and experienced all sorts of horrific stuff a person can go through.
So I wasn’t worried about what comes next.
Caressy said it was quite mad, but never completely mad.
However.
As soon as I crossed over the gate, the sight before me confirmed that Caressy was wrong.
The Beastman Kingdom now was not just quite mad.
“Damn, what the hell.”
It was extremely freaking mad.
*
