A world without gene testing.
The color of one’s hair becomes an important measure of which family’s bloodline they carry.
In the case of the Sichuan Tang Family, whether distant relatives or illegitimate children, if one is born with purple hair, they are considered a member of the clan—it’s a truly convenient setup.
What other genetic traits does the Sichuan Tang Family possess besides purple hair?
As evident in Hwa-lin’s case, those with Tang blood inherently have a strong resistance to poison.
While traveling, I once asked Hwa-lin about it out of curiosity.
“一 So if someone from the Sichuan Tang Family is born without purple hair, do you feed them poison to check? What do you think of the Tang Family?”
“一 They have a resistance to poison, right? Then wouldn’t it be fine to make them eat poison?”
“一 It’s a resistance, not immunity! Even a child born in the Sword Family first uses a wooden sword. Do you think poison is a toy? What a child from the Tang Family has is a resistance to extreme poison. That must be developed while learning poison techniques.”
Resistance to extreme poison, huh? Well, even someone not from the Tang Family might be born with resistance to weaker toxins depending on their physique, and they could also expel poison using their internal energy.
Fortunately, thanks to this, the Guard Unit didn’t ask me to prove my identity by consuming poison if I was a direct descendant. But the suspicion still lingers.
A barbarian with black hair. I can’t prove myself by consuming poison since I haven’t mastered poison techniques. I have the Bracelet of Remembrance as evidence, but it’s not a bound item, so doubts remain.
Then how can I prove I’m from the Sichuan Tang Family?
I have a way.
‘Using the settings of a martial arts dating sim.’
In a world where you calculate with a Cooper and eat carbonara. While playing this game, I’ve given lengthy feedback, but not all of it was just criticism and blame.
There are a few settings I praised to the production crew, and they happen to be related to the Sichuan Tang Family.
Let’s make use of that.
“Jomsui.”
I called out to Jomsui while looking at the menu.
“Have you finally made up your mind? If you’re still worried about the Tang Family members, rest assured, we have a top chef who can make a satisfying dish!”
I know. That’s why I had the Tang badge bring me here.
The setting of the martial arts dating sim that I can utilize.
A way for the Tang Family members to acknowledge me as a child born out of wedlock.
Something that can only be done by those carrying the blood of the Sichuan Tang Family in this world.
That is.
“Give me a pineapple pizza.”
In this world, only those who carry the blood of the Sichuan Tang Family can eat pineapple pizza. I’m playing a martial arts dating sim, calling for pizza, but this is one setting I won’t argue against.
Pineapple pizza. Isn’t it a poison?
“What?”
“What?”
“Whattt?”
Ignoring the surprised reactions of the people at the table, I calmly handed the menu to Jomsui.
“I think I misheard that, could you repeat yourself?”
However, Jomsui didn’t take my menu and tilted their head, asking me back.
“I said I want a pineapple pizza.”
“Oh! You meant to order for the Tang Family members beside you, right? What will you have, Manager Kang?”
“No, I’m having it.”
“Manager Kang seems to be from a foreign land and doesn’t know, but even though it’s Sichuan cuisine, pineapple pizza is a dish only for the Sichuan Tang Family.”
Looking at Jomsui’s nape, I could see sweat streaming down. Jomsui tried to conceal their panic and explained to me as best they could.
“I also carry the blood of the Sichuan Tang Family.”
“Haha! Manager Kang is joking! You may be a regular, but that kind of joke isn’t funny!”
It seems Jomsui thought what I said was a joke and waved their hands slightly while laughing.
“……”
I silently looked at Jomsui, who appeared pleased to hear a funny joke, and smiled back.
“Are you serious?”
That’s a lie.
“Pineapple pizza? You’re truly digging your own grave.”
The Guard Unit leader looked at me as if they had checkmated me.
“Master, it’s true that someone from the Sichuan Tang Family can eat pineapple pizza. However, one must train by gradually eating pineapple pizza from a young age before they can handle such poison. You’ve never had it before, so it’s far too risky an order.”
“Yeah. Yoon-ho, I can swallow poison and stay fine, but I can’t eat pineapple pizza. Don’t push yourself.”
Hwa-lin grabbed my arm, her anxious expression warning me against the order.
If only a limited number of people can eat it, and they have to be accustomed to it since childhood, then pineapple pizza must be like a super version of fermented skate in this world.
“Gukhahru also has Sichuan fusion dishes for Joseon folks like Manager Kang! We have Sichuan-style spicy tteokbokki too. How about this instead?”
Tteokbokki seems like something I wouldn’t enjoy; it’s not my style.
“No. Bring me the pineapple pizza.”
I’m serious. Bring it to me.
“Please wait a moment!”
Jomsui entered the kitchen with a pained expression after hearing my firm voice. Am I ordering poison or something? Isn’t that too serious?
As I looked towards the kitchen, I detected murmurs from where the Guard Unit members were seated.
“Has the Tang Family Head’s illegitimate son been training in poison techniques?”
“It’s clear he doesn’t bear any signs of training in poison techniques.”
“Then perhaps he grew up in the Sichuan Tang Family.”
“I’ve never heard of a black-haired child growing up in the Sichuan Tang Family.”
“Does he really think he can eat pineapple pizza without any training?”
“Didn’t he inherit the blood of the Tang Family Head? Direct descendants enjoy pineapple pizza often.”
“Direct descendants can only enjoy it because they’ve been eating it since childhood. How does someone whose origins are unknown think they can just eat pineapple pizza?”
“Even I can barely enjoy a single slice of pineapple pizza; to order whole? I was doubtful whether he was an illegitimate child, but soon we’ll find out.”
All the eyes of the Guard members were fixed on me. Yeah, look at me, everyone. Pay more attention.
“Excuse me, I’m the head chef of this Gukhahru.”
While I was reveling in the attention, a man came looking for me from the kitchen.
“So you’re the renowned top chef I’ve heard about. Nice to meet you.”
“Who are you?”
The head chef didn’t acknowledge my friendly greeting and shot sharp glances around.
“Pardon?”
“I came out to see what kind of Tang Family member is terrorizing a regular customer. Is it the person beside you?”
The head chef looked at the Tang badge stream and asked.
“No, that’s not it. I’m not terrorizing anyone!”
“When I was in Sichuan, I witnessed Tang Family martial artists feeding pineapple pizza to other martial artists as a prank a few times. Manager Kang is a regular here. I couldn’t just sit back and let this happen.”
“No, really, I’m ordering it for myself.”
“It seems you came with Tang Family members, so how can this not be a prank? Eating pineapple pizza will definitely cause you severe diarrhea. No matter how much bitter tea you drink, the sweetness will linger on your tongue for days, bringing you torment.”
So the pineapple pizza was used like a punishment game like canned anchovy sauce in the Tang Family?
“It’s fine. I carry the blood of the Tang Family.”
I smiled at the head chef to convince him.
“Really?”
“Yes, so please prepare it without worry.”
“Whew. Alright. I don’t know if what you said is true, but I’m a top chef. As an apology for the rudeness, I will prepare the best Sichuan delicacy, pineapple pizza, using the finest ingredients and skills.”
“Thank you.”
“Yes. If you end up meeting the King of Hell, at least you can confidently say you had the best pineapple pizza.”
What, the King of Hell? Then your shop will be closed!
Knowing my thoughts or not, the head chef returned eagerly to the kitchen.
—————————-
“Here, p-pineapple pizza has arrived!”
Jomsui emerged with the pineapple pizza. My goodness. Did they put nose plugs on her?
Wow, the pineapple pizza on the table took up a lot of space.
What’s with all this pineapple? It’s nearly coated! I can’t believe such cursed food exists in this world. I can never get used to it no matter how many times I see it.
“Master, I’d rather eat it myself. After all, proving your Tang lineage could easily be done in the Sichuan Tang Family.”
“Yoon-ho… There’s no need to go this far for me.”
Seeing the overwhelming presence of the pineapple pizza made me chuckle, and perhaps they thought I was frightened, as the two people earnestly tried to dissuade me.
“Let him be. That schemer is bound to bring ruin upon himself with that mouth.”
The Guard Unit leader crossed their arms as they watched me, preparing for my demise.
“Yoon-ho. Even if you can’t eat it, that doesn’t mean you’re not from the Tang Family. Still, there’s no need to stir unneeded distrust…”
“It’s fine.”
I raised a hand to stop Hwa-lin’s words and used the pizza tongs to place a slice on my plate. The sweet scent overwhelmed my nostrils—it felt like a lump of sugar had taken over.
In this world, pineapple pizza is something only those from the Sichuan Tang Family can eat. An instinctive gag reflex hit me.
“It’s fine, Kang Yoon-ho. You can do it.”
I’ve already tried it once. I can do it. I’ll start digesting this food that isn’t really food.
“Where’s all this sweetness coming from?”
“Look! It’s a pineapple pizza!”
“Who puts fruit on pizza? A true Central Plains person wouldn’t do that!”
“They’re serving pineapple pizza? Is the chef trying to kill someone?”
“Why is that cursed food in Gukhahru? Is this not a Sichuan restaurant but a hellish diner?”
“To eat such accursed food. So the Tang Family is that way… No! Why is the black-haired one reaching for the pineapple pizza?”
The sweet scent wafting from my pizza caught the attention of everyone in Gukhahru, not just the Guard members.
“I’m going to eat it.”
I picked up the pizza with one hand, folded it in half, and boldly shoved it into my mouth.
“I’ve eaten it!”
“A barbarian ate the pineapple pizza! He’ll be sick soon!”
“Hurry! Prepare a physician!”
Ignoring the screams of the people, I chewed and swallowed. The sweetness of the pizza was arduous.
How is this even called pizza? I’d only eat this when I was starving, and my tongue was suffering. Pizza should have meat, seafood, or vegetables on it only.
“Ugh! I can’t bear to look!”
“Almighty Primordial Heaven Lord, protect me eternally! Grant me the Super Protective Ban-Goh-Ban, and lead me to the immortal realm!”
“We need to stop this right now! Life is fragile, but we can’t easily let someone go like this!”
Despite the numerous screams, I had no choice but to focus on the feel of my tongue.
“It’s delicious. No way, it can’t be delicious.”
The top chef had made this pizza to set up my appointment with the King of Hell. He used the finest ingredients and made it incredibly sweet. But maybe it qualifies as something enjoyable.
“No, I think pineapple pizza is delicious. This is heresy.”
I suppressed the minority opinion inside me and quietly swallowed the pizza.
“Look! He’s managing to hold it down, but there’s no doubt he’s eating!”
“Is that even pineapple or perhaps some strange fruit?”
“Even direct descendants would spit it out their first time! Why isn’t he?”
“When I had it the first time, I passed out! What on earth is going on?”
That’s because I’ve tried it before.
Back when I wandered the Central Plains, during a time I worked washing dishes at an inn, I overheard they were preparing pineapple pizza for an important guest from the Tang Family.
The problem was that even the head chef was too scared to taste it, questioning if the pineapple pizza was good or not.
An important guest had to have it tasted by someone, but…
“I’ll try it.”
Was it simply because Kang Yoon-ho wasn’t the reckless person who ruled my body? Maybe it was my Reverse Heaven’s Decree ability?
Even though I felt a natural aversion to it, being from this world, I still managed to eat without significant issues.
That’s how it started—a thank-you session to eat ten pineapple pizzas in a single day.
I took a deep breath like someone identifying poison, clasped my hands in prayer, and after preparing myself, I began my thank-you pineapple pizza feast.
“To make money, you must make the easy look difficult.”
At first, I ate two slices and intentionally spat one out.
Then three slices, spat one again. Then half a pizza. One full pizza. Two pizzas.
By the time I had to leave the inn, my expected salary was chunkier than expected.
Eating this pizza is now second nature.
What I’m consuming now has nothing on that garbage made by a chef who’s never prepared a pineapple pizza before, even considering it vaguely fits the food category.
Though I won’t ever acknowledge it as a legitimate pizza.
“Does that black-haired body run on poison instead of blood?”
“There’s no doubt he has Tang Family blood!”
“He’s not human! That’s a beast! Surely it drinks poison! Cawww!”
I devoured the pizza without hesitation.
“I-I finished it!”
“One person ate an entire pizza!”
After a whole day’s hard work, combined with the heightened mental activity, it only took me a moment to clear the pizza.
—————————-
“It’s been a while since I overate, so this is tough.”
I said confidently, patting my belly towards the stunned guard leader.
So? Isn’t this perfect proof?
“Cough…”
The guard leader let out a gasp as they stared at me.
It was as if a storm had passed through the once-frantic restaurant. With my meal, a silence enveloped the room.
The onlookers resumed their meals, while the Guards still gazed at me with astonished expressions.
Everyone had now heard my true identity and seen the proof. If that’s the case, there’s only one thing to say.
“Leader, do you now recognize me? Or rather, acknowledge my blood?”
Now to nail the final point.
