Rough Draft.
Showing a manuscript that has gone through no edits to others as an author is quite embarrassing.
It’s like a girl who always shows her full makeup face accidentally revealing her bare face to her boyfriend.
Of course, I’ve never had an imaginary girlfriend who shows up with full makeup for me, so I can only imagine how she would react.
“I’ll read it.”
“Is it really necessary to read it?”
“Stop talking and hand it over.”
Grrk.
What I’m writing is a smut collaboration.
The embarrassment of showing a rough draft of smut to a cohabitant, especially a member of the opposite sex, is unimaginable. It’s like showing them a horrific morning incident that happened on a particularly bad day.
I was torn about handing it over, but who can refuse when Lady Tang looks at me with a face that says handing this over is the only way to avoid bloodshed?
Plus, she said she’d provide cover when she comes from the Sichuan Tang Family and verify the martial arts concepts.
Lady Tang looked seriously at the rough draft and opened her mouth.
“The poison technique description is way off.”
“What do you mean?”
“You can poison someone without them noticing with the poison technique. But it’s not万能 (万能 means all-purpose). You can use the poison technique in the open, but it depends on the wind, the position, and the type of poison. Just randomly throwing poison into the air won’t have any effect.”
“Poison has to be used unexpectedly. That’s how I wrote it.”
The protagonist is in a tight spot. His opponent is smiling arrogantly. But suddenly, the protagonist wears a knowing smile, and intense music starts playing in the background.
The protagonist reveals his trump card. His opponent screams. That’s the effect he’s looking for when using the poison technique.
“In a closed space, up close. Unless it’s a situation like that, you should at least describe that the surroundings were favorable for using the poison technique after applying it. I can’t accept this shoddy poison technique.”
Lady Tang pointed out my description of the poison technique with a face that says, “Do you even know about poison technique?”
If this were reality, I feel like she would’ve left a lengthy comment pointing out the discrepancies.
“I’ll add to the description.”
“And the stealth techniques are problematic too. Why is the protagonist aiming for the Color Demon’s blood points?”
“Shouldn’t you aim for the vital points that kill when they’re hit? You aimed for the blood points when catching bandits, didn’t you?”
“That’s because they’re amateurs! You call him the Color Demon! A master who earns that title would obviously block the blood points when the stealth technique comes flying at him.”
“Then what should I do?”
“The paralysis points. If I were the protagonist, I’d target the points that cause paralysis when hit, like the Gogoal Point, the Byu Point, or the Gok Point. And depending on the situation, I’d go for any blood points that seem vulnerable. That way, no matter how much of a Color Demon they are, they’d either have to flee or be ready for a life-or-death struggle.”
Is this referring to snatching freedom from an opponent with a low kick in mixed martial arts and looking for a decisive strike? When it comes to stealth techniques, the Sichuan Tang Family must be profound.
“Okay, I’ll try to describe it by targeting the paralysis points instead of the blood points.”
“Great. And…”
“Is there more?”
“Of course! What the heck is this technique called Extremity of Death Seven Nights? What were you thinking?!”
Lady Tang pointed at my secret technique with a fierce look.
“Ah! Extreme Seven Nights! I came up with it.”
“You made it?”
“Well, you know a protagonist should have a cool secret technique. I was debating whether to go with Seagal Fist or Extreme Seven Nights. Ultimately, I think the latter sounds cooler.”
“This is a technique I’ve never even heard of.”
Lady Tang scoffed in disbelief as she looked at the technique I created for the Tang Family.
“Listen. Ten Thousand Sky Flowers is way too powerful for the protagonist. Instead, throw the Hidden Knife and have the protagonist dash at the same speed as it. The moment they dodge the Hidden Knife, BAM! Snap the enemy’s neck. How about that?”
The Sichuan Tang Family always threw poison. The effect was intense. They employed stealth techniques. It was underhanded. Ten Thousand Sky Flowers was powerful. This wasn’t right.
“If there’s movement like that or light body movement near the enemy, wouldn’t you win just by throwing poison or using stealth techniques?”
This girl has no romantic notions.
“Then how about this? The protagonist ties a line to the Hidden Knife…”
“That’s not happening! Why are you so obsessed with tying a line to that Hidden Knife?”
Anyone involved in the Joseon martial arts world can’t help but have romantic notions about martial arts. What a pity. Is there truly no way to utilize this?
As I exchanged feedback with Lady Tang, I kept elevating the quality of the martial arts.
——————
“And then this… Ah!”
I caught a glimpse of Lady Tang’s surprised voice and peeked at the rough draft I handed her. Since there were already martial arts and collaboration mentioned, the next scene is obvious.
“Lady Tang, I’ll take it from here.”
If the atmosphere gets awkward, it’ll only make me more embarrassed. So I smile nonchalantly and reach out for the rough draft.
“I know, I know! I can offer advice…”
Was my smile counterproductive? Lady Tang shot back at me with a suddenly flaring temper.
“Your advice? Just hand it over.”
“Well, you see…”
Lady Tang wiggled her fingers and then lowered her head, looking at her impressive sculpted muscles.
“Huh?”
“D-doing it with my chest… it feels like the skin is rubbing, and I think… I might need a lubricant?”
Wait, what did you say?
“Lady Tang, how do you know about that?”
“Do I really need to ask?”
Lady Tang blushed slightly as she glanced at a hard and long wooden rod next to her bed.
Oh my god. Goodness gracious.
“Lady Tang, I’ll handle those parts alone from now on. Don’t experiment with it.”
I suddenly wanted to die again. Why is she testing that?
“I’m just trying to help.”
“For the sake of my human dignity, no.”
For the sake of your proper perspective on sexuality, no.
“Ugh… I was just being brave and experimenting.”
Lady Tang glared at me with a blush, as if she was upset with my declaration.
Why are you being brave while experimenting? Thanks for thinking about it. I appreciate it. But no. Don’t do that. I could die of embarrassment if you read my story.
Despite Lady Tang’s complaints, I declared that I’ll handle such parts alone in the future.
————-
Even if I want to write all day, I still have to work during the day to make a living.
The plight of a part-time novelist hasn’t changed after coming to this world.
“Lady Tang, I’ll teach you how to brew coffee.”
“Okay! I’ll do my best.”
The bookstore started to gain buzz, and customers began to increase daily.
Unfortunately, Lady Tang couldn’t stay on the first floor as more customers came. Although she wore a veil, there were still displeased customers.
Initially, she would quickly organize the books when the store was quiet, but as more customers came, it became increasingly difficult to do that during lunch hours.
I held Lady Tang’s hand, which was looking dejected in a corner, and brought her to the second-floor counter. Since she was making coffee while facing the wall, there wouldn’t be any chance of bumping into customers.
If it were me, I’d probably use any excuse to find a little time to rest! I mean, she’s been working hard day and night; why is she insisting on doing something she struggles with?
For me, sharing the workload was nice, but…
“Master, I’d like an iced café latte, please.”
While I was passionately teaching Lady Tang, a customer’s order came through.
“Order up. Lady Tang, you remember what you heard earlier, right?”
“I got it! Just handle the checkout!”
“Fine, fine. Got it.”
Looks like she’s getting more lively because she found something to do.
“Customer, that’ll be 50 Copper for the café latte plus an additional 5 Copper for the ice, totaling 55 Copper.”
“Oh! Here! But are you two… lovers? Married?”
The customer asked while sneaking glances at Lady Tang, who was making coffee with interest.
“Huh? Ah! We’re just friends!”
Lady Tang, make the coffee! Don’t look this way!
“Hehe, well, there’s no way that’s true.”
The customer smugly caught Lady Tang’s eye and grinned, glancing at her veiled face while raising one corner of her mouth.
Why is she laughing at Lady Tang? That’s our landlord. We can’t let this slide.
“Hey… Ugh!”
I was about to say something, but suddenly, Lady Tang threw something heavy, stopping me.
What’s that about? We shouldn’t stand for this! This is our shop! I shot her a look of protest, but Lady Tang shook her head, looking as if it was fine.
“Hehe, Master. Maybe after we close, how about we grab a decent drink just nearby…?”
“Hey, deliver the coffee.”
Lady Tang quickly approached and coldly slammed the coffee in front of the customer.
“Hey?!”
The customer just stared in disbelief after hearing such nonsense.
“Right? Hey, there are other customers behind you, so quit your nonsense and step aside.”
Lady Tang and the customer engaged in a fierce stare-down, neither willing to back down. Lady Tang, I tried to stop it; why are you the one getting into a spat?
“Hmph. What’s with that face? You better know your place.”
The customer glanced between us, clearly having an “I see how it is” expression as she looked at Lady Tang and grinned.
“What?”
Lady Tang glared at her, eyes wide in disbelief at the mocking.
“Hehe. No worries. I’ll see you when Master is free, without any interruptions.”
The customer strode away, chuckling, coffee in hand.
What kind of nonsense is this? Normally, readers here are more polite, but they still have to be courteous in this service industry, right?
“Lady Tang, you held up well.”
“Held up? I didn’t hold back.”
Lady Tang smiled at me with an expression that looked like she was plotting something.
That’s concerning. I glanced back at the customer, who had placed her coffee and was about to sit down when suddenly, she clutched her stomach.
“Why’s my stomach suddenly…?”
The customer winced in pain as she struggled to find the restroom.
That’s not the way! It’s in the opposite direction!
Fwoosh!
Oh no… that sound.
“I don’t know anything about this!”
That day, I learned about the Sichuan Tang Family poison, which makes an immediate impact after just seven steps, and the customer earned the nickname “Poop Pants” for not being able to control herself at her age.
We lost one customer forever at the Tea Bookstore, but I don’t feel too bad about it.
—————
“I’m done.”
I gazed at the completed The Rise of the Tang Family with a tear of joy.
Written by me and reviewed by Lady Tang. Should I put “Sichuan Tang Family verification completed” on it when I publish?
“Yoon Ho! I put materials in the printing room!”
I heard Lady Tang’s voice from downstairs.
“Wait! I’ll grab the book!”
Finally, all that’s left is printing and publishing.
