“Ah, that’s right!”
‘Sara’ snapped back to her senses and shouted.
“We weren’t talking about this just now!”
However, the ‘atmosphere’ that had filled the room until just a moment ago didn’t disappear easily. Everyone in the room looked at her with pity, trying to figure out how to interpret ‘Sara’s’ sudden change in attitude.
It wasn’t that ‘Sara’ minded their gazes. She didn’t dislike the attention from others, especially after being separated from the world since she was nine. Perhaps it was the mixing of emotions and memories in her consciousness, but losing that sensation now scared her even more.
Perhaps, this emotion, created by that person, was more precious than she realized.
—But now wasn’t the time for such discussions.
“Um, but we were just discussing that kind of stuff,” Sohee questioned.
“No, that was just me trying to explain because you guys couldn’t grasp the situation!”
‘Sara’ said, clearly frustrated.
“The reason I came out here, asking specifically for her, wasn’t just to keep talking about that. I came out to try and resolve this situation.”
“…This situation, you say…?”
“Yes, the situation you just stirred up!”
Only after Yang Hye-in responded did ‘Sara’ realize she was still standing. With a slightly embarrassed expression, ‘Sara’ sat back down and continued her speech.
“The story I spilled to those police officers without telling anyone… isn’t really a problem.”
“….”
Confusion appeared on the faces of everyone in the room, even Sohee and Ha Neul who sat right next to her, with Sua and Yang Hye-in showing some signs of bafflement as well.
“Honestly, I don’t even care about that. Who gets punished or not has nothing to do with me. A few policemen can fuss all they want, and whatever government official raises an issue, my mom will handle it somehow.”
“So, you’re saying we need to make sure nothing like that happens—”
“What if it happens?”
‘Sara’ interrupted Yang Hye-in.
“If nothing happens, the people who ‘abused’ me will all be unjustly punished, and somehow manage to get compensation. Do you think I’d feel better about that? Would my feelings suddenly improve?”
“….”
Yang Hye-in couldn’t say anything to ‘Sara’s’ reasoning, who was staring at her with narrowed brows.
“Let’s think about this. If I really wanted to throw someone away, I could easily do it. If it were that person inside me, sure, I might hesitate; but that’s not my nature. Compensation? No matter what I get, would it really be ‘compensation’ to me? Does pouring a cup of water into a lake change anything? Ah, well, maybe it could count as a cup.”
‘Sara’ let out a huge exaggerated sigh.
“It wouldn’t even amount to what they give me here for my salary.”
“….”
With the slew of words ‘Sara’ blurted out, the atmosphere in the room felt like someone had just dumped water on everyone’s heads. It felt different coming from ‘Sara,’ the ‘victim’ of the situation, which added weight to her words.
If she had been the one wanting an apology and wishing to set things right, it would have been a different story; but what came out of ‘Sara’s’ mouth was quite another matter.
“Uh, Sara.”
After a brief silence, it was Ha Neul who spoke first.
“I can tell you’re thinking like that, but… can you tell me why you two switched places?”
‘Sara’ wasn’t saying that she wanted to ‘do something’ in this situation; she was actually saying she didn’t want to ‘do anything.’
Yet it didn’t seem like a question to just throw out there. From ‘Sara’s’ perspective, this body was hers all along, and she was merely yielding her space to the newly formed Sara. It wasn’t a problem for ‘Sara’ to regain control of her body; the issue was that she needed Ha Neul’s help to shift her perspective.
However, up to this point, ‘Sara’ hadn’t expressed her intentions while yielding space. In fact, the only one she had really engaged with was Ha Neul. With everyone else, she had simply interacted as ‘Sara.’
So, this was the first time ‘Sara’ had revealed her identity with a goal in mind.
‘Huh, so that’s what she meant, huh? Well, message received loud and clear.’
“I have only one reason for coming out like this.”
It seemed like ‘Sara’s’ thoughts conveyed that message.
“That person… I mean, the Sara you all know felt guilt.”
“Guilt…?”
Upon hearing ‘Sara’s’ words, the kids became even more puzzled.
“‘Do I even have the right to receive forgiveness for Sara?’ or ‘Is it okay for me to enjoy all of this while using Sara’s body?’ or ‘Isn’t it wrong to put Sara in front of someone like that just to recover memories?’… Frankly speaking, I’ve been thinking a little too much about these annoying things. When I quietly handed over my body, it was just telling her to live as she pleased, not to be plagued by guilt over every single action she takes.”
While expressing her annoyance, ‘Sara’s’ face oddly looked proud, as if recalling something endearing.
“Anyway, that’s why I’m here. The person who should be apologizing is me, and the one who should be forgiving is also me. I’m not particularly looking to resolve the incident. All I want is to feel okay about it in the end, and if she believes it’s real, then that’s all that matters, right?”
‘Sara’ said that and then looked around at everyone in the room one by one.
“So, you all need to cooperate with me. Naturally, you too, Miss Maid.”
It was an unbelievably selfish yet simultaneously selfless reason.
*
The conversation continued after breakfast was over.
‘Sara’ mentioned she didn’t really care about skipping breakfast, but when Ha Neul said, “Since it’s Sara who made this body…”, she finally grumbled and went down to the cafeteria with the other kids.
No other conversation took place during the meal.
In fact, the reason Ha Neul suggested going for a meal was just that: they needed time to sort things through.
…Or rather, maybe they just wanted to delay things.
Ha Neul sensed something from Sohee’s attitude this morning.
Sohee showed an attitude that she didn’t really care about which ‘Sara’ it was. She simply liked Sara because she was Sara, an incredibly simple yet pure expression of emotion.
Yet, Ha Neul couldn’t think that way at all.
Ha Neul knew all too well that Sohee’s expression was right if she truly loved someone. The course of a person’s life is unpredictable, and you cannot foresee how the person you love will change.
It could be a positive change or a negative one.
You could bump your head hard and get hurt. Years down the line, conditions like dementia could arise. The expression ‘I like you’ that Sohee mentioned encompasses all of that. No matter what happens to Sara in the future, or what happens between the two of them, her determination to continue loving Sara remains unchanged.
Of course, even without extreme circumstances, relationships with people often change.
Just as Ha Neul learned things about ‘Sara,’ there may be numerous things about ‘Sara’ that would surface as well. Maybe she’d learn unknown habits; maybe ‘Sara’s’ favorite food would turn out to be surprisingly different; or perhaps Ha Neul likes what ‘Sara’ dislikes and vice versa.
To put it bluntly, it’s only been just over a month since Ha Neul and Sara met. Even if they’ve been close, there could still be unknown aspects at any turn.
After experiencing all of that, would Ha Neul be able to keep liking Sara?
That thought scared her.
She was wondering if she was splitting Sara’s two identities as if they were ‘different people.’
In the midst of those musings, the meal concluded. In fact, breakfast at Sara’s house was mostly light fare like toast; there wasn’t much to fill up with anyway.
In the end, the delay didn’t go as successfully as Ha Neul had hoped.
*
“So, what should we do first?”
‘Seeing as this is a continuation of our previous conversation,’ ‘Sara’ spoke up as she entered the room.
“For starters, that’s obvious.”
She looked at Yang Hye-in who had followed her back into the room.
“Shall we quickly get the apology yet?”
‘Sara’s’ attitude suggested she wanted to get through this bothersome assignment as quickly as possible.
