Strong-arming is a crime.
I enjoyed the full course at Pangrave until my stomach hurt, and even though my equipment was only at the first floor level, I matched it with a set including a dagger and crossbow bolts, and even got an advance on the mana herb elixir crafting costs! The thought of rolling the gacha later with the money I saved made me happy!
Anyway, strong-arming is a crime.
For that reason, I rubbed my face against Ellie’s waist while she stylishly shook the shaker with one hand, making annoying sounds.
“Wahhhh! Ellie! Please save me!”
“You’re in the middle of a transaction, Jonah… Try summarizing it in three sentences.”
“I went on a date with Lydia. But she made me pay for it. Jonah is sad. Boohoo.”
“Did you really need to add ‘boohoo’ to make it four sentences? …Wait. Did you just say ‘date’? With Lydia?!”
“Yup.”
Eating, going to a cafe, shopping, and discussing the last labyrinth expedition as the main topic—if they talked about random stuff too, isn’t that a date?
It’s my first time experiencing this in both my past and present lives, so I’m not really sure, but it must be.
I absolutely wasn’t trying to use Ellie in a ploy to clear my debts.
I swear it’s true.
I forced down the corners of my mouth that wanted to smile and acted pitifully. Maybe Lydia sensed something was off with my blatant behavior.
She pulled back a chair she had just taken out and quietly turned her body.
It was already too late, though.
“Freeze.”
“Ellie-senpai. It’s a misunderstanding. Let’s talk this out.”
“What do you mean? Jonah isn’t my boyfriend, so why would I care if you went on a date?”
“Yeah… You wouldn’t care. But you’d probably radiate hostility like this.”
Lydia sighed deeply and finally sat down. Ellie, pouring the drink she had just mixed in front of her, said:
“I’m not trying to do anything. I just wanted to say something as a senpai. Look at this. I’m pouring you free drinks. What a good senpai I am.”
“Old-school, problematic.”
“Shut up and listen! How can a girl ask a guy for money? Especially when Jonah is still a kid!”
“Stop with the archaic ideas. We’re in an age of gender equality. Adventurers, both men and women, are strong, and they earn money…!”
Lydia protested passively, sneaking behind Ellie and peeking out to counter her words.
“Wah. I’m baby Jonah. I’m neither strong nor rich.”
“…Jonah. Just wait and see.”
Lydia shot me a blank stare. So that’s the way it’s going to be, huh? I have plenty to say too, so this is great.
“Wait and see what? You can see it right now.”
“From behind Ellie?”
“Are you trying to say something you can’t say to Ellie?”
I shrugged and pointed at Lydia with my finger.
“First of all, I don’t think there’s any need for equality between genders. That way I can loaf around and live off Ellie’s money, right?”
I clearly said it to Lydia, yet the response came from Ellie, looking exasperated.
“…As always, that’s a trashy reason. More importantly, I never said I’d marry you, Jonah.”
“Oh my. Then Ellie must live her life as a single old lady! How tragic…”
“What does that even mean, Jonah? You’d better choose your next words carefully.”
“Ugh. What I meant was, being a long-term pervert who thinks dirty thoughts all day long and having pretty harsh tastes, who would want to accept a 30-year-old unmarried Ellie other than me?”
“……”
Ellie shrank back as if genuinely hurt and said nothing. I patted her back.
“See? You definitely think you need to marry me now, right?”
“…I was tempted, but still, being in debt is a no-go.”
Even amidst all this, I admired her unwavering resolve not to take on my debt.
“Such a good Ellie! Completely different from Lydia, who spends every dime she earns on food and new equipment! She’s the perfect bride!”
“What exactly is your criteria for a bride, Jonah?”
“Pretty, kind, rich, and above all, someone who treats me well?”
“That’s not a spouse; that’s a well-off sucker! When it comes to marriage, it’s like this! Huh? A bit more… uh?!”
Her face turned bright red, and she kept stumbling over her words, unable to finish her thought. She was probably trying to say something along the lines of “you should do it with someone you love.”
“That, yeah, that!”
“To be honest, I’m not quite clear on that part. I’ve never loved someone to that extent.”
My feelings for Ellie… are a bit complicated. Of course, down deep is a solid affection for my character, so it’s like that.
I’m Kim Jonah. A lifelong loser in love. I’ve learned everything about love through writing, except for one-sided crushes…!
After letting out a sigh, I noticed both Ellie and Lydia stiffen as if they’d hit a landmine.
Why? Why do they look like that, like they stepped on a mine?
Before the mood became completely weird, I thought to do something and grabbed Ellie’s tail.
Long and fluffy fur. Muscles flinching every time my hand touched it. It felt like a completely different creature, and I wrapped her tail around my neck.
Ellie’s tail, now used as a scarf. It was an instinctive action, but it felt exceptionally smooth, as if it were being maintained constantly. It might even have a pleasant scent.
…This is it!
Imagining a heroine smiling when wearing the protagonist’s clothes, claiming it smells like the protagonist.
I know this—at least regarding Ellie, who is a lifelong loser in love, I’ve got it down. Even if I’m just nice and give them a good time, they’ll all be happy.
“Hmm…”
I buried my face in Ellie’s tail and breathed deeply. The pleasant scent was undeniable, and my lips naturally relaxed.
What can I say? It’s like a mix of puppy scent and a subtle perfume.
After indulging in Ellie’s scent for a moment, I finally looked up.
Ellie’s yellow eyes were shining with excitement, while Lydia simply stared at me with interest.
I grinned at both of them and spoke.
“I don’t know much about love, but if there were someone pretty, kind, rich, and who liked me… I’m sure I’d come to like that person.”
I didn’t specify who, just quietly gazed at Ellie.
However, Ellie’s reaction seemed off. At this point, she should be all excited like someone whose preferences were hit, or on the contrary, looking tormented as if trying to hold back from pouncing on me, but…
Ellie had a bittersweet yet compassionate smile, like she was encouraging me.
No, she actually began encouraging me. She gently reached out and started stroking my hair.
“It’s okay. You’ll surely find that.”
“Eh.”
I didn’t expect this reaction. Instinctively, I looked at Lydia, but she was no different.
She was clapping softly, her eyes glistening like she had just watched a touching movie.
What is this? What the heck is going on….
For a moment, I tilted my head in confusion. I ultimately couldn’t endure this warm atmosphere, pulled myself out of Ellie’s tail, and spoke.
“Ahem! Anyway, let’s talk about something else now!”
“Something else? Oh, like Lydia’s execution, for instance?”
“…I’d suggest that instead of executing me, Ellie-senpai would benefit by playing with Jonah later.”
“What! I’m going on a date with Jonah…?”
I knew she was suddenly turning all contemplative. I know that look; it’s the one you make when you try to hide your lewd thoughts.
I shook my head vigorously and opened my mouth.
“Ellie, I’m about to talk about work, so don’t think dirty thoughts.”
“I-I wasn’t thinking anything! Just totally wholesome thoughts…! Anyway, talking about work?”
“Yep. I’m going back into the labyrinth tomorrow, so I wanted to discuss that briefly.”
“Is there anything special to plan? It’s only the first floor. Just sneak in, sweep up, and come back.”
Ellie tilted her head. While her explanation felt too casual, it wasn’t wrong.
The monsters on the first floor aren’t particularly strong, nor are there troublesome gimmicks. It’s just a matter of fighting normally.
After all, the first floor is basically the tutorial zone for adventurers, so that makes sense.
…Usually, that’s the case.
“I’m thinking of trying to defeat the Guardian of the First Floor. I need to get stronger, so I have to find ways to level up quickly!”
Though I made a bold statement, their reactions were a bit off.
“Oh, there was a time when I thought of that too.”
“…Every adventurer thinks about it. But no one has succeeded.”
A lukewarm tone. They were looking off into space, as if reminiscing.
They definitely don’t believe me.
I can’t blame them. As the name implies, the Floor Guardian is a type of boss monster representing that floor.
There’s supposedly one on every floor. If you don’t find one, it just means it hasn’t spawned or that you didn’t meet the criteria for it to appear.
However, the first floor is exceptionally known for not having a Floor Guardian.
With everyone being newbies overflowing into it simply by passing through the door, it’s not a place you call adventurers.
If there were any strong monsters like Floor Guardians wandering around, people would just indiscriminately die instead of leveling up.
That’s why the compassionate Goddess of Love is said to have made an exception for the first floor… that’s the mainstream belief.
To put it plainly, that’s nonsense. There is indeed a proper Floor Guardian on the first floor. It’s just that meeting the summoning conditions is so tricky that no one knows so far.
I flashed a confident smile at Ellie and Lydia.
“How about we make a bet? The loser has to grant the winner one wish.”
Upon hearing that, their eyes changed. Ellie was filled with obvious desire, while Lydia nodded with a fervent sense of duty.
“Deal!”
“…No backing out.”
That’s something I should be saying.
