In an instant, my words were taken from me.
The words Iris threw at me were so shocking that my mind struggled to accept them soberly. If Viviana treated me like a harlot, Iris was outright saying it to my face.
The painful truth I never wanted to confront unfolded before me. My heart raced, and although I tried to smile, it wouldn’t come to my stiffened face.
“…Your language is quite excessive, Iris. Would it be alright for you to tell Lady Viviana about this?”
I managed to retort with a cold stare and voice. Yet, despite my threat, Iris snorted derisively and mocked me.
“Go ahead, spill it.”
“Wh-what?”
“Go ahead and tell on me. Nothing will change anyway.”
“…On what basis are you so confident?”
“I wish you knew your place. Stop wasting the Princess’s time. Do you even know how busy she is?”
Iris’s boldness surpassed my imagination. Could she be a hidden heir of the Duchy, or perhaps a child from a rather powerful family?
…Or could it be possible.
A theory briefly flickered in my mind, but I quickly banished it. There was no way they’d attach a secret weapon, which even in games is handled with care, to my service.
“…Does Lady Viviana know what kind of person you are?”
“Well, she probably knows.”
Iris paused for a moment as if contemplating, then continued with a smirk plastered across her face.
“Shall I go fetch the Princess?”
“…Huh?”
“Just wait a moment.”
With a voice cold enough to freeze, Iris left the room. Left alone in the bedroom, I tried to comprehend the situation with a blank stare for quite some time.
Is she really going to get Viviana?
I couldn’t understand Iris’s sudden change in behavior. Why did she turn so hostile all of a sudden? Was it just that she hadn’t spoken before, or was she secretly displeased with being my attendant like Ciriel?
“…This is annoying. I won’t let you off easy, Iris.”
It didn’t matter.
I had no reason to care about what kind of person Iris was. After all, she was just Viviana’s servant, and Viviana was completely smitten with me.
Once Viviana found out that Iris had insulted me as a harlot, she wouldn’t be able to escape Viviana’s wrath.
Then I’d have a favor to ask of Viviana. To kick Iris out of this mansion forever, ensuring she could never set foot in the Duchy again.
I could just laugh at the regret on Iris’s face. Even if she begged for forgiveness while clutching my ankles, I wouldn’t let her off the hook.
I was certain of it in my heart.
Viviana was enamored with me, so she would surely take my side.
Ignoring the rising angst within me, I gazed into the mirror and managed to create a faint smile.
“Just let the two of them make up and call it a day.”
Thud—
Viviana spoke in a casual tone. Her indifferent voice sent a pang deep into my heart.
Unable to accept what Viviana said, I grasped her sleeve with trembling hands.
“V-Viviana… She called me a harlot. Do you know how much that hurt me…?”
Viviana shot a sharp glare at Iris.
“You can talk about it later.”
“Yes, my Master.”
A cold air flowed in, but it wasn’t as intense as I’d expected. I thought she would be furious enough to throw Iris out, yet here we were, as if it would all end with a few scoldings.
Isn’t it normal to be enraged if someone says your beloved is a harlot…? So why is she trying to brush it off?
And she’s going to have a private conversation with Iris, leaving me behind? I’m the one who got hurt here; why is she meeting with Iris alone?
“Tina, don’t worry. I’ll scold her properly.”
Viviana’s attempts to reassure me only made my heart ache more intensely.
This cannot end like this. No way can it end like this.
If it just ended here, I could easily foresee how much Iris would look down on me in the future. With a desperate heart clutching at straws, I grasped Viviana tightly.
“Tina?”
“…Please kick her out.”
“Huh?”
“Please, kick Iris out of the mansion.”
My candid statement left both Iris and even Viviana looking flabbergasted. I held back the tears threatening to spill and stared directly into Viviana’s purple eyes.
Please, Viviana.
Just this once, be on my side.
I promise not to see you as a pushover anymore.
I’ll try to treat you with more candid feelings.
I’ll make an effort to rely on you more.
I want to like you more…
So please…
Just this one time, take my side.
Please…
“Um… Tina.”
But the troubled expression that flashed across Viviana’s eyes made me instinctively realize.
Viviana wouldn’t choose me.
“Iris might be a bit much, but she’s quite capable in various ways. Kicking her out is out of the question… I’ll make sure she can’t say such things again.”
“…”
A wave of surrender washed over me as if my very soul had left my body. An indescribable emptiness and sense of loss bore down heavily on my heart.
Capable.
A word that felt miles away from someone who could do nothing but play the fool. If a person’s worth were measured by their abilities, I’d be a being wholly unworthy of living at the very bottom.
Iris was capable. Meanwhile, I was endlessly incompetent. That’s why Viviana chose not to side with me.
Iris was right. I was nothing but a pet. An easily tiresome toy, loved for a moment and discarded later. That knowledge shattered the little self-esteem I still clung to.
My hand, which had been gripping Viviana’s, fell weakly to the floor as my gaze shifted.
My heart felt like it was melting in a volcano, and my body lacked even the strength to move a finger.
What am I even doing here?
“Pull yourself together. I’ll be back soon.”
Viviana patted my head once and stepped out. For some reason, Iris hesitated momentarily in front of me before following Viviana out of the room.
My body began to tremble slowly.
I was cold.
I wrapped my arms around myself. But the chilling air still enveloped me, and my body wouldn’t stop shaking.
I laid my trembling body down on the bed and wrapped myself tightly in the blanket.
Yet even so, the cold persisted.
No matter how much I rubbed my hands together, the chill wouldn’t dissipate.
“I’m cold…”
I hate this cold. I thought I wouldn’t have to feel it anymore…
During times like this… she was always there with me…
As my breaths grew increasingly uneven, I placed my hands on my chest and got down from the bed, lying on the now-cold floor.
Struggling on all fours, I made my way to a chair. A large mirror on the luxurious table was staring back at me.
As I placed a hand on the mirror, the girl within reached out for my hand.
“Help me…”
The only friend who had ever given me a beautiful smile in my solitary life. I thought of her and lowered my head.
“Help me… I’m struggling so much… I want to die again…”
I called out for her desperately, but there was no response.
Of course. There was no way she could be here. The woman in the mirror was me, with blue eyes and snowy white hair.
The thought that I could no longer see her made the tears I had been holding back finally spill over.
“Sniff… Sniff…”
Once the floodgates of my tears were opened, I had no way to stop them. I couldn’t bear to see my wretched form crying, so I covered my mouth with my hand and bowed my head deeply.
I just wanted… someone… anyone… to show me a bit of affection… some interest…
『Don’t cry.』
At that moment, a voice reached my ears.
A voice I missed so dearly, one I had longed for immensely.
I turned to the mirror with wide eyes.
There I was.
But I wasn’t the same.
In the mirror stood not the feeble me, ugly and crying, but a girl with a tender, affectionate smile.
“Uh…?”
『Why are you crying again?』
“Uh, um…?”
The girl in the mirror smiled softly. Yet I instinctively knew who she was.
Within the girl’s blue eyes lay a black cross that warmed my heart even amidst the dark, dense sky.
“Y-you? Is that really you?”
The girl in the mirror nodded.
『Yes. But I can’t see you right now.』
“Wh-what…? How do I see you?”
The girl in the mirror paused for a moment. Her black cross gazed at me for a while. I grasped my hand against the mirror tightly, fearing she’d disappear.
『You just have to break again.』
The girl in the mirror smiled mysteriously. That smile seemed to imply she knew something.
『Then, see you next time.』
“Wait, just a second…”
I desperately called out to her as I looked back at the mirror, but the girl’s eyes continued to shine blue, just like mine.
Yet, I no longer felt lonely. I no longer felt cold.
She was here.
Here with me, in this world.
The thought that I wasn’t alone anymore gave me the strength to open my eyes wide once more.
If she could be by my side again…
I could find courage again.
The conditions for meeting her were the same as before.
To break.
Fortunately, I knew very well how to break.
“Okay… I’ll break even more.”
