The old metal door, tightly shut, slowly began to open. Despite thinking it was wrong to send Green back like this, I couldn’t be certain that I could face him right away. The expression on his face, showing surprise at the unexpected situation, felt like he was being denied the courage he had gathered to tell me his true feelings.
I chased after her with a strong conviction that we couldn’t go back to square one if we let things fizzle out like this. There was no time to worry about pretending to be an office worker and entering at lunchtime. I saw Green wavering, and her instability worried me; I couldn’t predict when she might fall apart.
“…….”
The door opened, and in front of it stood Green, head bowed. She couldn’t meet my eyes, her gaze fixed on the floor, while I could see her shoulders trembling and boxes piled up in the living room.
“Can I come in for a moment?”
“…Yes.”
Green nodded without lifting her head as she took off her shoes at the entrance and came inside. I followed her in and closed the door behind us.
“Are you okay?”
Though I couldn’t see her face, I could sense that she didn’t look good.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
Neither of us knew what we meant by “okay.” We just said whatever came to mind, and responded accordingly.
Talking aimlessly led to uncertainty about what to say next, but I couldn’t afford to wait for Green to speak first.
Saying I hadn’t considered the possibility that Green liked me was pointless now. She had poured her heart out to me, but my reaction made her feel like her sincerity was being dismissed.
Of course, not all relationships continue just because someone confesses. But having decided to face her sincerity, I needed to respond sincerely to her feelings too.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel hurt; I was just startled…”
Even as I spoke, I found myself bewildered. Startled? Not wanting to hurt her?
For a moment, I realized how selfish I could be as a human.
Why do I always realize things a bit late? My expression when I heard Green’s confession wasn’t due to being startled. Unconsciously, I had hoped that she wouldn’t like me as much as I liked her.
After meeting four members of the HunterKiller team, I felt it shouldn’t exceed five. This thought likely stemmed from the unsettling feeling that my identity might be discovered at any moment. If that was the case, I should have avoided any relationship outside of Yubin from the start. Or better yet, not even maintain a relationship with Yubin to prevent my identity from being revealed.
Ultimately, I had become the target of her feelings because I was seeking to alleviate some of the responsibility for the consequences of my actions. It was a rather convenient excuse.
On the day I first formed a relationship with the Milky Way, I thought I had made a decision, but I still wasn’t ready to fully accept the responsibility of my actions. I felt so ashamed of myself, and self-loathing was growing in my mind.
“No, it’s my fault for saying something strange…”
Just as I couldn’t continue speaking, I heard Green’s voice. With her head lowered, she held her clothes tightly, trembling. She seemed like a glass that could shatter at any moment.
“What strange thing? You said you liked me, so there’s nothing strange about that.”
I slowly reached out to hold her hand, but she stepped back in shock.
“I liked you on my own, thinking only of myself.”
Though she spoke clearly, her voice trembled.
“I’m sorry. It’s my fault.”
She apologized to me, though there was no reason for her to.
Her voice trembled, but her words were unwavering. That made my heart ache even more.
Her voice shook with fear and terror, but the steadiness in her words indicated that what she was saying was sincere. Green felt that admitting her feelings for me was a mistake.
“I liked you because you were always kind and looked after me. I thought it was okay to like you, thinking you were just helping me out of pity.”
I wanted to tell her it wasn’t like that. Our first meeting was indeed coincidental, and there was a purpose behind our friendship. I did feel sympathy for her circumstances, but I never helped or cared for her out of pity.
I was simply concerned. I wanted to watch her change positively in a better environment, but I couldn’t say that right then.
But I couldn’t tell her that now. I didn’t want to speak, nor did I want to stay silent. I had to listen to Green.
Though I thought she was improving, her sincere feelings seemed to indicate she was still in a precarious psychological state. I needed to hear her out to properly face her sincerity.
“I’m sorry. I thought the members were always happy, and I assumed I could speak freely… Like others, I just wanted to be normal. I didn’t realize it was only about me.”
Green’s voice trembled more, and tears fell from her chin. I had been pondering how to keep my identity secret from the four women I met, and how to avoid hurting them. During this time, Green must have been hurt by me.
She probably wouldn’t consider it a hurt, but when she confessed her feelings and met my eyes, she must have felt that everything was her fault. That’s how I perceived Green: she couldn’t understand being hurt or feeling disappointed.
Knowing this, I still couldn’t help but think about how to handle relationships with others when I heard Green’s confession.
I already knew our ending couldn’t be a happy one. Even though I had resolved to take responsibility despite the danger, I still worried about the impending threat.
“So, from now on…”
Green’s grip on her clothes tightened, and she cried out, “From now on, I won’t like you anymore. I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”
Liking someone is a personal freedom. No one can infringe on that freedom, and no one can judge it.
Of course, the result of that liking doesn’t necessarily lead to a positive outcome. The universe has countless stars, and each star has life forms and their own hearts. The results of these hearts vary. Some may have positive outcomes, while others may not, but everyone who holds a heart hopes for a positive outcome.
The same would be true for Green. Knowing this and knowing her, I couldn’t ignore her feelings. My conclusion was clear, but I was searching for another solution, fearing the approaching end. Every action has its corresponding consequence.
She didn’t speak further and wiped her flowing tears.
I slowly reached out to touch her cheek, lifting her head. She cried, and so did the Milky Way, who didn’t pull away from my touch.
“I’m sorry.”
“Ouch, hic!”
Holding my hand on her cheek, the Milky Way continued crying. She probably thought I was apologizing because I was wrong. But she hadn’t done anything wrong. She was merely trying to live brightly and avoid causing harm to others.
Taking away her ability to love someone seems cruel.
“I don’t dislike you, so why can’t you keep liking me?”
“…Yes?”
My reflection appeared in her wide-open, tear-filled eyes.
The Milky Way seemed unable to find the right words. She thought loving me was wrong and the only solution was not to like me. But the outcome she faced was different from what she expected.
I know how hard Gan Hangwa works, how she endures, and how much effort she puts in. I can confidently say I know her better than anyone else in this world.
Even with just a brief thought, I could guess what she was thinking. Despite this, I shouldn’t exist if I try to avoid her sincere feelings.
The HunterKiller team all work hard. This is my personal view, not based on Earth and Spacystro relations. These people share their precious feelings with me, so why would sacrificing myself be a problem?
I don’t know what the outcome will be, but it’s certain to be unpleasant. But until then, five women can be happy. That’s why I made this decision.
“Do you hate me?”
“Oh, no! I don’t hate you…”
“Really?”
The Milky Way paused before answering. I couldn’t forget the look in my eyes when she expressed her sincere feelings. But I kept looking at her with earnest eyes, and regardless of whether it was because she was crying or because the situation was embarrassing, Green blushed and slowly spoke.
“…I like you.”
Hearing her response, a smile naturally appeared on my lips, and I embraced her.
“!!”
I felt the Milky Way flinch as I hugged her. She initially stiffened but eventually relaxed and returned the hug.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’d rather hear you say ‘I like you’ than ‘I’m sorry.'”
I hugged her firmly, and she nodded.
“Yes.”
I didn’t intend to hear her say it again immediately. Her concise answer conveyed my message to her, making me realize my feelings reached her.
“Why are you crying? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
I released the hug and wiped away her tears.
“Guh, hic!”
Despite trying to hold back, the tears flowed, and she cried uncontrollably as she clung to me. The repressed emotions burst out. As Gan Hangwa cried loudly in my embrace, I remained silent.
After a while, Gan Hangwa calmed down and sat quietly on the sofa. I sat beside her, looking at the boxes in the living room.
“Are you feeling better?”
“Yes, I’m fine now.”
Gan Hangwa replied softly, placing her hands on her knees. I held her hands. She looked at me in surprise, and when our eyes met, I smiled at her.
Seeing my smile, she felt reassured and smiled back.
“But what are these boxes for?”
“Oh! I need to pack because I’m moving.”
It was surprising news. I hadn’t expected it, but it made sense given her father was awaiting trial in prison and would return home, making a move necessary for her. However, I didn’t know the exact date and thought she would tell me when plans were set.
Although I couldn’t do much about it, I felt a bit sad. I thought she might not tell me because she didn’t want me to feel she was asking for help.
But as the moving date approached, I realized not telling me would make future meetings difficult.
Finally, the pieces were falling into place.
“So, when are you moving?”
“…Tomorrow.”
I was surprised. It was a different kind of surprise from when I heard her confession. Actually, it made sense that she confessed quickly because she was moving tomorrow.
Seeing the stacked boxes, Gan Hangwa became anxious.
“After the meeting, I planned to come over in the afternoon, finish packing, and then tell you…”
I didn’t think I could have told her about moving then. The shaking in her hand showed her anxiety, and her actions seemed cute under such circumstances.
“Okay, I’ll help you tomorrow.”
“Wha—?! No, I can do it alone. I don’t want to cause trouble again!”
Not wanting to hear her further, I kissed her.
Gan Hangwa opened her eyes wide and froze like a robot.
“Is it okay if I help?”
After pulling away, I asked, and she nodded with a slightly dazed expression.
“Yes.”
With a definite answer, I decided to help Gan Hangwa move tomorrow.
