Chapter 95

Countless emotions swirled within Latri.

At the center of that whirlpool, the emotion began to reveal itself, faintly visible.

The Raul she saw was grieving. It was such an unfamiliar sight that she couldn’t utter a single word.

Even when his pet dog died, when his favorite book was torn apart by someone’s prank, or when he was mocked at a party for having a “freakish sister,” Raul never seemed to care. He calmly buried the dog, quietly accepted money to buy a new book, and nonchalantly beat up the kids who mocked him and his sister, breaking their legs or twisting their ankles.

Yet, that boy was grieving.

“…So, he was a boy who could grieve after all.”

“We all knew. It’s just that you didn’t.”

“He just couldn’t shed tears. But he was a boy who could express sorrow like that.”

“And it’s your fault he couldn’t cry. Though, of course, I’m the most to blame.”

“Who are you…? No, I think I get it now. The world is full of all sorts of things, but this is truly regrettable. I mean it.”

“That’s why I hate you. You’re annoyingly perceptive about these things. And the fact that you’re not lying about it.”

The crow glared at Latri with eyes that seemed utterly fed up.

“…That fool was truly a fool. A fool beyond fools.”

“I can’t understand the meaning of your words.”

“This is the last illusion I’ll show you. Honestly, showing this is incredibly exhausting.”

Latri decided to surrender herself to the black wind without resistance. It was clear she had neither the ability nor the right to resist it.

When the black whirlwind subsided, Layla’s figure appeared, looking at Raul.

Layla quietly asked Raul, who was reading a book.

“You read that book often. Is it really that interesting?”

“Not particularly. Compared to other books, the writing is clumsy, the plot is a mess, and the author ran away without finishing the last volume.”

“Then it’s just trash!”

“…Yet, it’s a meaningful novel to me. It was the first birthday gift my mother ever gave me.”

It was something she had bought hastily, unable to resist her husband’s insistence that she should at least buy the child a gift once.

“The protagonist’s way of speaking is frustrating, he fights without weapons, and the story has no clear ending… But I like it because it’s a story my mother gave me.”

“…Your mother really had a big influence on you.”

“That’s a good thing.”

“Do you really like your mother that much? Honestly…”

“Yeah, she wasn’t exactly a great mother. But still… I respect her.”

Raul had once seen his mother deal with assassins who had broken into their home.

The sight of her small frame cutting down the assassins who had come to kill him was breathtakingly beautiful.

“If I could make three wishes…”

Raul smiled faintly and spoke his wishes.

“The first would be for my father’s illness to be cured.”

“The second would be for Rizel to be happy.”

“…And the third would be to be held in my mother’s arms, even just once. It might sound selfish.”

Hearing this, Layla quietly hugged Raul.

Though Raul showed no expression as he buried his face in Layla’s chest, she whispered faintly, as if pitying him.

“If only I could grant those wishes.”

“…”

“If this war ends… then maybe…”

Layla swallowed her last words and stroked Raul’s head.

But Raul, lost in his thoughts, couldn’t process that information.

—

“…”

“Has your mind changed at all?”

“No, it hasn’t.”

“That’s disappointing. I thought it might have changed a little.”

“It’s just become clearer and deeper, that’s all.”

“That still counts as a change, doesn’t it? Is that tone of yours hereditary?”

Latri quietly swung her sword, shattering the illusionary wall.

“As expected, once the task is done, this wall weakens.”

Latri looked up at the sky and muttered incomprehensible words.

“They say you become like the one you love. What a foolish saying. I’ve ended up resembling the man I hate.”

Then, Latri turned her head toward the crow and spoke.

“It was a good lesson and an interesting play. Though I can’t offer much as a fee, I’ll keep your identity a secret.”

“…Damn old crow.”

“Or maybe there’s no need to keep it a secret.”

Latri turned around with a somewhat sorrowful expression.

“I don’t even have the right to speak to that child.”

“…Aren’t you going to apologize?”

“Even an apology requires the right. If the man who defiled me came to apologize, I’d swing my sword at him too. I’m no different from him, and I’d only confuse that child’s heart.”

Latri chose not to seek out Raul.

“Are you running away?”

“…Yes. That’s another burden I’ll have to carry. Rather than doing something I’m unqualified for, it’s better to add one more sin to my list.”

Latri clenched her fist tightly.

Red blood dripped from between her trembling fingers.

“………From now on, everything I say is just a monologue. You can listen if you want, or dismiss it as the ramblings of a madwoman.”

Transparent liquid streamed down Latri’s cheeks.

“Yes. I hated him. I wished he didn’t exist. I hated him that much. You can call me a bad mother. That child wasn’t one I wanted to have.”

“When I held him right after he was born, I felt a mother’s love without realizing it. And then I immediately hated myself and that child. That child… Raul… is the evidence of the humiliation I suffered… a humiliation I can’t even bring myself to speak of…”

“What saved me back then was my current husband. I loved him then, and I love him now. That’s why… that’s why… I had no choice but to… hate that child. The child who is the trace of the man who defiled that love…”

Tears flowed endlessly, making her look quite pitiful.

“My husband asked me to try to love him, so I did. Because it was my beloved husband’s request. But… those memories kept coming back… the man who defiled me…! The humiliation I suffered…! The painful, shameful nightmares of that day…!!!”

Latri collapsed to the ground.

“Every time I see that child’s face, those memories resurface! I know better than anyone that it’s not the child’s fault! What could he have possibly done wrong in that situation! But… I didn’t do anything wrong either…”

“I… I’m… just a human being. I just wanted to be happy. All that talk about rationality was just an excuse. It was just a way to distract myself from the pain. If I didn’t, I thought I’d go mad.”

“I never wanted to be a knight. I hate killing people too. What I really wanted was…”

Latri had always admired romance novels since she was a child.

Most of those novels were written by Arthur Berze in his youth to earn pocket money.

Yet, Latri loved those stories.

“All I wanted was to love normally, have children normally, and live a normal life like in those novels… Why do I have to go through these emotions…”

The crow simply watched Latri in silence.

No words of reproach would reach her now.

No words of comfort would touch her.

“If Raul had been my husband’s child, I would have loved him too… He would have been the one and only son of me and my husband… But that child… is the son of that bastard…”

“What’s the point of all this now…”

“I wish I could start my life over…”

But the crow gave an entirely unexpected response.

“Do you think starting over would guarantee happiness? Would you still meet your current husband? Would the child you have still be Raul and Rizel?”

“……”

“Stop talking nonsense. Time can’t be turned back. There’s no such convenient story.”

“…Yes, it can’t be undone. The humiliation I suffered, the fact that I tormented that child, everything I went through…”

Latri, drowning in endless regret, took heavy steps.

The waves of regret rose up to her calves, making each step unbearably heavy, but she had no choice but to keep walking.

“It might sound like an excuse… no, it is an excuse. But if you ever get the chance, could you tell that child? That I held him once.”

Latri quietly wiped away her tears.

“On the day you were born, I held you for the first time. And in that moment, I loved you without realizing it. And… this wretched woman killed the mother who loved you. Because of this wretched woman, you grew up without a mother’s love.”

Then, Latri smiled faintly through her tear-streaked face.

“So, you have the right to kill me, your mother’s enemy. So, come and kill me. I won’t resist… Please punish this wretched, unhappy woman.”

That faint smile was eerily similar to Raul’s.

The crow, who knew that faint smile better than anyone, couldn’t help but let out a hollow laugh.

Watching Latri stagger away, the crow could only look up at the sky.

If he didn’t resent the god who played this cruel joke, it would be a lie.

“Like mother, like son, huh…”