Chapter 93

And so, time passed, and Rizel was born.

Arthur Berze adored the child, and even Latri, unusually, smiled and cared for the sickly baby.

The more this happened, the more Raul retreated into the shadows.

Arthur Berze, aware of this, took care of Raul just as much as Latri took care of Rizel.

When Latri bought Rizel a doll adorned with jewels, Arthur Berze bought Raul a sword crafted by a famous blacksmith.

Arthur Berze did this to ensure Raul wouldn’t feel neglected, but Latri only grew more furious at his actions.

“…Why are you doting on that child? Not your own daughter, Rizel, but that monster.”

“My dear, please watch your words. Both are my children. I merely strive to balance the scales. I swear I have never favored one over the other.”

“That child is an impurity to this family.”

“……If you say so, then I will embrace him all the more. An impurity? This disgusting empire itself is a massive lump of impurity.”

Thus, the couple had their first real fight, and their anger, under the guise of rationality, was poured onto Raul.

The more this happened, the more Arthur Berze had to care for Raul, and Rizel ended up receiving less of her father’s love.

Growing up in such a skewed household, Raul, stepping over much rationality, eventually went off to the battlefield.

“What nonsense is this? You, on the battlefield?”

“…That’s how it is, Father. I can protect this empire and elevate the family’s prestige…”

“You are the heir to this family. The next head of the Berze Family… No, even before that!”

Arthur Berze gripped Raul’s shoulders tightly.

“What kind of parent would allow their child to go to the battlefield?”

“…I’m sorry. I’m too dull to understand your words, Father.”

“Sigh…”

The eyes of Raul that Arthur Berze saw were filled with the rationality instilled by Latri.

At the same time, Arthur Berze felt guilt. The favor he had shown Raul, as if in competition, had, whether intended or not, summoned Latri’s rationality.

Raul’s personality, filled with that rationality, had come to resemble Latri’s.

“……What have I done?”

Arthur Berze had a premonition. That his now frail self could no longer stop Raul’s decision.

At the same time, he knew that stopping Raul from going to the battlefield would also be a form of abuse.

Knowing his frail self couldn’t do that, he could only send his child off with tears in his eyes.

“……Raul.”

“I cannot understand the meaning of an apology.”

“I won’t stop you. It seems I no longer have the right to do so.”

Arthur Berze thought that his selfish desire to be a good person had instead brought discord to the family.

If he hadn’t doted on Raul so much to be a good person, Latri wouldn’t have forced rationality onto Raul.

So, he made a cloak out of the coat he wore in his youth and gave it to his son. It was the coat he had given to his beloved wife when he saved her.

It was a memento of memories that warmed his heart whenever he recalled them, a token of love.

Thus, winter came to his heart.

“It’s bitterly cold. I don’t even deserve to wear that memory… This cold must be the punishment I deserve.”

He was wise.

But foolishly, he tried to blame everything on himself.

Unaware that it would lead to even greater conflicts in the future.

And so, he decided to walk the lonely, blizzard-swept Path of Self-Blame.

—

“How is it? This is the truth.”

Seeing the truth shown by the crow, Latri couldn’t deny the cruel reality.

What she had seen, what she had heard, what she had done—it was all eerily the same.

How could she deny the path she had walked? That path bore the traces of her beloved husband. How could she deny it?

If only she hadn’t loved him, it would have been easier to deny.

“…You.”

Latri began to claw at her own face, and red blood flowed down.

The sight of that blood flowing was like bloody tears, truly grotesque.

“It’s not your fault… The real fault… The greatest fault…”

“Quiet. I said there’s still a long way to go.”

“I’ll do anything you ask… Please… Don’t show me any more of this truth… No… Please don’t dig up what I’ve buried…”

Despite Latri’s pleas, the crow didn’t stop flapping its wings.

The black wind revealing all truths didn’t stop either.

—

As the war continued, the workload of the officials also increased.

They had to deal with riots and complaints erupting everywhere, conscript soldiers and supplies for the war, manage the extravagant emperor and the second prince amidst the deteriorating finances, and oversee the recovery of damaged areas, all while managing the plague spreading in the border regions.

Arthur Berze, who had volunteered to oversee all this, saw his health deteriorate day by day. His already frail body grew thinner, and he was spitting out more blood than he was eating food. The days he could sleep properly were few and far between.

“…Please, rest a little.”

“My son is risking his life on the battlefield. How can I, as a father, rest comfortably?”

“But that’s your son…!”

“Not just Raul. There are countless young men on the battlefield, missing their parents, sharpening their weapons. If one more document I work on can save even one of them…”

Even as he felt his mind slipping away, he didn’t let go of his pen and documents.

At the height of the war, Arthur Berze, too busy to even eat properly, finally collapsed.

His condition was too gruesome to bear watching. He was emaciated, his skin pale, and the eyes that once shone with intelligence and vitality were now dull.

The Path of Self-Blame he had been walking, combined with his overwork, had finally taken his life.

“Rizel…”

On the last day of his life, he lay in bed, looking at his family.

“Yes, Father…”

Rizel, tears streaming down her face, held his bony hand.

“I didn’t play with you much… I’m sorry… I guess… I wasn’t a good father either… Really… I’m sorry…”

“No, Father… It’s okay, please get better…”

“No… It seems it’s too late now… I’ve taken many lives too… Struggling not to die would be a bit disgraceful.”

He regretted even killing the barbarians to save Latri.

“Raul… Raul… Is he still…?”

“I sent someone to him… But there’s still no reply…”

“I see… That must mean the battlefield is intense… I’m worried…”

Arthur Berze coughed up blood but still worried about his son.

“How many young men have died without even a proper burial… And here I am, an old man who never fought, dying comfortably in bed… I’m sorry and ashamed to even lift my head…”

He was a man who felt guilt even when he shouldn’t.

“My dear… Could you ask everyone to leave…? There’s something I want to say to you alone… I’ve already written my will… I just want to share some final words…”

Latri quietly gestured, and the butler, Rizel, the maids, and other servants all left the room with tears in their eyes.

Their tears showed just what kind of man Arthur Berze was.

“My dear… My dear… No… Lady Latri… The pitiful woman I loved…”

With a trembling hand, he touched his wife’s cheek.

Though his eyes could no longer see clearly, he still remembered the touch of his beloved wife.

“Thank you for marrying me… Thank you for becoming Rizel’s mother… Thank you for every moment you gave me… My life was a path laid by my parents… But my engagement to you… was truly a path of happiness…”

“…I feel the same.”

“That’s a relief… And… One last request…”

“Anything, if it’s within my power.”

“There will come a time when you must choose between my honor and Raul… I’ve written it in my will… But I’ll say it again… When that time comes, choose Raul over my honor…”

Latri couldn’t bring herself to accept that request.

“It must be hard to accept… I understand… But just a little… Please, just a little… Think of that child…”

“Why do you care for that child so much…? He’s not even your own flesh and blood…?”

“How could I not love the son of the woman I loved?”

With his last strength, he wiped the tears flowing down his wife’s cheek.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think of your wounds and forced you to be a good mother. That was my selfishness too. Damn it, what kind of sage of the empire am I… I wanted to be a good person and ended up making everyone around me like this. So… I’ll bear it all. Your sins… The sins Raul will commit on the battlefield… All of it…”

“No, you… You didn’t do anything wrong… The real fault…!”

“Lastly… I need to apologize… to that child……”

All his strength drained away, and his hand fell limp.

Even the guilt that wasn’t his own.

And that son never showed himself. The father regretted not being able to apologize to his son one last time.

The man who had strived for everyone, the patriarch who had devoted himself to everyone but himself, closed his eyes in regret.

—

Watching that illusion, Latri screamed in frustration.

“That monster! He didn’t even show his face when my husband, who loved him, was dying! Because of him, my husband died in regret!!!”

“…….”

“If only he had shown his face! If only he had been there at my husband’s deathbed! If only he hadn’t let him die in regret…! I… I…”

Latri shed the tears she hadn’t been able to shed back then.

“I… I would have tried to love that child…”

Even the crow couldn’t bring itself to scold the weeping Latri.

It simply waited quietly for her to stop crying.

Without a single word of blame or reproach.