Episode 92
“…….”
As the two figures disappeared, an oppressive silence fell over the air.
Now, Seop Baek would be waiting alone in the appointed plains, while Zenon evacuates Gena to a safe zone.
After the explosion occurs, Zenon will prepare for any contingency by taking Ruci to where Seop Baek is stationed, and then bring them both back to me.
‘Originally, the plan included Seseona as well….’
Not only that, backup strategies were prepared for Kern’s banquet, and also in case Adrang joined the battle.
But none of it mattered. In the end, I couldn’t persuade any of the three to join me, and so the fighting would rest solely on my shoulders.
‘…Think good thoughts. Just think good thoughts.’
I was struggling to overcome the creeping anxiety and fear that kept rising into my chest.
In matters of quantity, there’s no such thing as secure profits. Especially for me, who excels in assassination, this principle rings true because of my profession.
This life will be one where I fail to survive.
I was almost certain of it now.
—What then, for the next life?
I would attempt to recruit Kern at the banquet.
I’d consider Seseona again to formulate a strategy to get her cooperation.
I’d find a way to determine Adrang’s whereabouts.
Then… then surely, next time it would work out without a doubt.
—Could it really go so smoothly? In just a single day?
…
Deep within my mind, a relentless, dark voice kept questioning me, and I wasn’t coming up with any answers.
To be honest, no matter how much I thought about it, I didn’t know if I would survive.
Could I do better than this?
—And how many days like today would you need, in order to get it right?
I had always given it my best.
This time was no different—I desperately wanted to live.
And yet, this is the result of my best effort. How could I be told to do better?
If I woke up in another life and tried again, is there any guarantee that the outcome would be better than what I have now?
—How long can I hold out?
This life, I managed to recruit Zenon.
But what if, in the next life, I couldn’t recruit Zenon either?
What if this is my one and only chance?
‘It’s terrifying.’
It was then that I truly understood.
The fear I had of myself, someone who once dismissed death as trivial. Beyond that, what weighed heavily on me now was something else entirely.
No matter how much I thought about it, there didn’t seem to be any way for me to work harder in this life than I already had.
“Damn… this is really scary…”
If I repeated this process ten, fifty, or even a hundred times, and no opportunity as good as this one came up…
Then… could I endure that reality?
While these thoughts chased each other endlessly through my mind, and left me paralyzed, a voice cut through my thoughts.
“What’s got you so scared? Are you trembling, Hero?”
As usual, her voice was edged with ridicule.
Turning my head, I saw Ruci staring at me with wine-red eyes.
She looked amused by my tense expression, smirking before she spoke.
“Hey, Hero. If you wake up in your next life, do you think you’ll do better than this time?”
Could this woman read minds now?
I was startled.
“Speak, Hero. I want to hear your true thoughts.”
Ruci stood firmly before me, asking with an unusual confidence.
Her eyes sparkled unlike ever before, revealing an intense interest that went beyond mere curiosity.
“What… what’s with the question?”
Don’t you know better than to ask me this? You’ve watched every desperate attempt I made, 35 times in all—you should know better than me.
“… I don’t know.”
I shook my head in frustration.
Perhaps things could turn out well. Maybe I could manipulate the situation at the Kern banquet. Perhaps I could miraculously find Seseona, or locate Adrang and attempt contact.
‘But what if it fails?’
What if, like the time I was easily defeated by Zenon, no one can be swayed, leading me to the worst-case scenario? I’ve already witnessed the worst possible outcomes firsthand.
While I was lost in thought, staring blankly, the Demon King suddenly let out a high-pitched laugh.
“You’ve become a coward. Did you sell that shameless face of yours when you used me to hunt Eldritch to the market?”
“That was then… the situation’s changed now.”
In a defensive tone, I managed to mutter.
At that, the Demon King’s expression transformed. She crossed her arms tightly.
A mocking gaze was cast upon me.
“What’s changed isn’t the situation, but you.”
“… Me?”
“Let’s make this clear. Are you afraid of dying because your strategy might fail? Or are you afraid of yourself?”
With that, I swallowed and fell into a moment of deep thought.
I submerged into an abyss of profound silence. It was then that I faced the dark emotions I have been feeling.
The Demon King spoke in an icy voice.
“What is it that leaves you so anxious?”
Anxiety. Right. I am indeed anxious.
The root cause of my undefined fear lies in this anxiety and obsessive compulsions.
I opened my mouth blankly.
“Not exactly anxious…”
“Are you afraid of being consumed by the shadow magic?”
“…”
I glared defiantly at the Demon King.
She stepped closer to me, then pressed her finger into my forehead with a “thud.”
“What if you keep dying repeatedly and eventually get devoured by the shadow magic? That’s what you’re worried about, isn’t it? By now, even death doesn’t feel as trivial as it once did. On the other hand, every life you live has become precious to you.”
“How did you…?”
“How do I know? I already told you—when your body accumulates shadow magic, so does mine. Do not lie to me about resurrection.”
She was right. It was only after she spoke that I realized I was in such a state.
She understood my condition even better than I did.
And with a snap of her finger, the Demon King delivered a sharp slap to my forehead.
“What a pathetic hero!”
Her face was marked with anger.
Not satisfied with just the slap, she began to kick my shin repeatedly, much like she always did.
Of course, it didn’t hurt at all. However, I could fully sense the rage she was feeling.
“Hero! Do you even understand why I helped you hunt Eldritch?!”
Ruci’s fiery red eyes were only centimeters away from mine. She grabbed my collar with both her hands. Her pure white silver hair fluttered, taking over my field of vision.
She continued staring straight into my eyes as she spoke.
“I like what I want. My desire to conquer the world stems from that!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?…”
“I knew from the start when you made that outrageous request. You and I are the same!”
Me? The same as this crazy woman? If I had to make a list of the most unpleasant things to hear in the world, this would easily make the top three.
At the look of disdain I gave in silence, Ruci flared up.
“What’s wrong with that face? Isn’t it true now?”
With a loud snap, Ruci grabbed my cheek and stretched it. It seemed she was taking this opportunity to seek revenge for all her past grievances.
She raised the corners of her lips deliberately, as if to provoke me.
“You know full well, don’t you? The simplest way out of this situation.”
“…”
“Abandon that black-haired girl and run away. You don’t care much about the lives of other humans in this city anyway, do you? That would be the safest, the surest, and the fastest course of action. After all, it’s said black-haired beasts shouldn’t be kept…”
“Shut up! Two-week silence penalty!”
I cut Ruci off resolutely. My annoyance at her words was surprising even to myself.
Although I didn’t know why, the sight of Minerva seemed to overlay itself on Ruci’s face as she spoke. Even though I’ve never heard Minerva say anything like that, it still felt that way.
“Hmph.”
Ruci smirked without missing a beat, a reaction that seemed to confirm she had anticipated my response.
“That’s what I thought. That is the greatest evidence that you and I are the same.”
Her direct gaze locked with mine. I stared back and realized something.
This woman sees through me more thoroughly than I do her. She understands me far better than I ever could.
“That’s your stubborn pride for nothing. Don’t think you’re sticking around out of some sense of righteousness now. Hero, Park Jeong-yong. Everyone knows you’re a twisted individual who doesn’t easily form bonds with others.”
She was right.
I couldn’t care less about world peace or the citizens of Kern for that matter.
But I can’t ignore the slaughter of Kern’s residents, the completion of the consciousness transfer, or Seop Baek’s demise. That mustn’t happen.
I may lack in ambition, but I want to protect what I now possess.
Frankly, my greed in this one area is stickier and more abundant than anyone else’s.
I’m sick of losing people due to my incompetence. I refuse to live life after life like this, in different worlds.
‘…Am I doing something wrong?’
Here, should I take a more rational approach, deploying the so-called “give what’s due”?
Is the desperate struggle I’m currently undergoing simply useless stubbornness fit for a chump?
Am I setting myself up for disappointment as someone laments, “Why don’t you just let loose a little!”?
Kaang!* Ruci abruptly stomped her foot, breaking my spiraling thoughts.
“But I like helping someone like you! I didn’t want to see you squirming around like this!”
The shout echoed loudly, startling me into snapping back from my thoughts.
I immediately widened my eyes in shock.
“Hey… you… your form…”
Ruci had changed.
The old robes hiding her true identity were discarded. A fierce crimson light radiated from her silver hair.
The adorable horns she had concealed with a circlet now stood straight up, resembling a goblin’s, and the black wings that had been hidden by a shawl had grown enormous, blocking my vision entirely.
“When did your power… return?”
The most significant change was the overwhelming torrent of dark power swirling around her.
She is no longer the Ruci I knew. She is the Immortal Demon King, Rustica Asmodeus.
