Chapter 91

Asulin held a considerable place in my memories, and days passed since I realized that.

With everything a couple could do already done, I felt Asulin’s affection for me growing day by day.

It was now a given that she would greet me with a bright smile while nestling into my embrace the moment I woke up in the morning, so there was no need to mention it.

Moreover, she started showing her affection by pressing her face close to mine and demanding kisses.

The sight of her gently closing her eyes and softly pressing her lips against mine was so endearing that, before I knew it, our lips would softly meet.

I began each day with the sight of Asulin blushing yet smiling after our brief kiss, which had become a routine.

Given how my feelings for Asulin were already deepening, it was surprising how much more they grew each time I met her.

I wanted to express my affection for her more often, but the reality was that I couldn’t as frequently as I wished.

I wanted to praise her for looking prettier every time I saw her, tell her how her scent made me feel at ease when we were close, and how much I enjoyed these moments with her.

Yet, the words I always wanted to say after our kisses stayed trapped in my mouth, vanishing as soon as our lips parted.

“Haa…”

This repetitive situation led Asulin to sigh softly when she thought I wasn’t looking, trying to soothe her longing.

Isn’t it ironic? When I first became the duke’s son-in-law under the guise of a strategic marriage, I never imagined our marriage would go smoothly, let alone be happy.

Now that it was so happy that I felt compelled to express my feelings more clearly to someone I loved, it seemed absurd that I felt this way.

Despite the absurdity, I couldn’t deny the reality that I couldn’t help feeling this way.

The more my feelings grew, the heavier the burden of the secrets related to my identity became. This change in myself, to the point where I didn’t care about those secrets anymore, was strange and even a bit frightening.

That’s why I didn’t spare any effort in hiding my fear from Asulin.

Still, I couldn’t predict what would happen when the intensity of our physical and emotional connection reached its peak again.

I feared that if any secret related to me was revealed because of my mistake, it would be unbearable.

If it were just me, I wouldn’t mind too much, even if I were to be abandoned by Asulin.

The thought of her abandoning me made me shrink inside, but I could bear it if I thought of it as something I had to endure.

But thinking about the people of the Failord Count Family suffering greatly because of my mistake was unbearable.

My feelings towards my biological father’s family, who had done nothing for me except for bringing me into this world, had faded. The well-being of those who truly treated me like a person mattered more to me now.

“Haaa…”

As I swung my sword in the training ground, the thought crossed my mind again, and I couldn’t suppress the sigh that escaped.

It was a self-deprecating sigh, realizing how unworthy I was.

“Unworthy scoundrel.”

How unworthy must I be for even Failord to criticize me?

She used to speak freely to me about swordsmanship without hesitation when we were alone in the training ground, but today, her words were more teasing than helpful.

If she had been criticizing my swordsmanship, I would have countered her immediately, but her blunt truths were undeniable.

“I suppose I am unworthy.”

There was no other way but to admit it.

She often showed pride when I listened to her swordsmanship advice, so I expected her reaction to be similar this time.

However, instead of surprise, her disappointment was evident.

Seeing me calmly admit my unworthiness, she expressed her disappointment rather than admiration, making me feel a complex mix of emotions.

“Indeed, it’s complicated. We’re married, and if we love each other, that should be enough. Why do I keep worrying about things that shouldn’t be revealed?”

Her serious tone made me focus on the present, turning my thoughts around.

“Uuuuung!”

Failord, who had always been wielded by me, suddenly flew out of my hand with a strong resonance, hovering in the air.

Even though Failord was a legendary sword with a long history, its dignified presence was undeniable when it floated alone in the air without being held.

“Tell me, are you afraid?”

Failord asked me, her voice stern.

“There’s no need to think about it. Yes, I’m afraid. Even though it might seem trivial, thinking about it makes me realize how something seemingly small could unravel all my hard work in an instant. It’s truly frightening.”

Without hesitation, I answered.

“Hmm…”

Failord, who had been silent, finally spoke.

“You’re honest, aren’t you? Unlike others who try to hide their flaws, you admit them straightforwardly.”

Her satisfaction was clear.

“Honestly admitting something important, especially to someone dear, made me feel conflicted.”

“Don’t belittle yourself too much. Even if it’s hard to understand, many who mistakenly believed they owned me fell apart because they couldn’t accept losing something precious.”

“Did they fall apart?”

“Yes, just like him.”

Suddenly, Failord’s tone changed, and I focused intently, the complexity of my emotions dissipating quickly.

Living for countless years, Failord focused on the life of one of its former owners.

“Even if he despised the owner who had fallen, there was a sense of sympathy.”

Failord continued, explaining the owner’s tragic fate.

“He was a miserable man who, despite his flaws, still had people who cared for him. He was among the most miserable, even though he was blessed.”

Failord’s contemptuous tone made me empathize rather than feel surprised.

His ruthless ambition, disregard for innocent lives, and insatiable desire for power were traits that made me shudder.

Listening to Failord, I felt a strange familiarity.

Wait, this feels like…

“Still, compared to many others who only realized what they had lost after it was gone, you appreciate what you have before you lose it. That’s commendable.”

“…It seems I’m beginning to understand.”

…Given my experiences, it wasn’t entirely incomprehensible.

Even considering that, seeing myself as acceptable despite my tumultuous life made me wonder.

“Please, don’t be greedy. Just live a simple, good life. That’s all.”

Despite her simple request, the desperation in her voice was palpable.

Usually, I would pretend to agree, but this time—

“I might not be able to.”

Failord seemed to understand my hesitation.

“Ah, you’re honest. Well, if you need anything, just ask. The time will come when you need it.”

Failord accepted my refusal calmly.

“It’s late. Go back to your bedroom where your cunning wife awaits. Don’t forget to treat her well.”

Listening to Failord’s grumbling ended my official day.

Though there were minor differences, the daily routine of preparing for the inevitable tragedy remained unchanged.

Only one thing remained.

“Asulin…”

As usual, spending intimate moments with Asulin, who was shyly waiting for me in our bedroom, was the only thing left to soothe my complex feelings.