Chapter 90

– To be honest, I’m wondering if it’s right to tell you this at this point.

…What are you up to now?

While the Demon King was dropping vague hints out of nowhere,

Ludines returned.

She probably came in once to make sure the kids weren’t getting anxious because of the commotion outside.

I wondered if her lack of medical knowledge or her earlier assessment of the situation had something to do with it.

But as Ludines’ expression grew more rigid while examining Carriel’s body,

“How could you even move around in this state…?”

“…….”

Truthfully, full-body muscle pain wasn’t even that big of a deal.

In other words, her condition was that severe.

The pain was so intense it felt like hell itself.

If she were aware of all the pain, she’d likely be curled up like an infant, barely holding on with all her might.

But…

…she endures.

Right now, it wasn’t about overcoming but simply enduring that held meaning.

“You’ll feel better soon.”

Ludines reached out and placed her hand on Carriel’s head.

As a faint white light emitted from her hand,

Carriel did feel some relief.

“I can’t fully heal you with my abilities, but I can at least ease your suffering somewhat.”

“Dimming sensation, huh.”

Aiseus caught on knowingly.

And separately from that…

– That ability of yours to pry into others’ pasts and memories? It’s an exclusive privilege only a tiny fraction of High Elves possess. I’ve stayed quiet until now since revealing it would’ve made things too easy for you, but circumstances have changed.

“…….”

Is this really what you call ‘words’…

The Demon King truly excels at being infuriating when it comes to stirring emotions.

– By relying on this, your approach to others will become more consistent. Communication is mutual; one-sided efforts always end up distorted. Realizing this later might actually benefit you. If not for this crisis, I wouldn’t have told you anyway.

“…….”

“Are you alright? Your expression…”

“No, I’m feeling much better.”

Indeed, the pain significantly decreased, making breathing easier.

Though, as if filling the void left behind, chills rapidly crept over her.

The pain didn’t let her forget the cold, but no—it wasn’t just that.

Until recently, both symptoms ravaged her body simultaneously, leaving her in sheer agony.

Now, even the cold sweat felt unbearably irritating, like thorns scraping against her skin.

– This woman has many secrets, yet she seems to trust you to some extent. You don’t need much—this level is enough.

“…….”

– Eventually, you won’t need even this much.

Is he suggesting I test this ability on Ludines right now?

– If understanding her causes trouble ahead, then don’t do it. But don’t you have doubts?

“…….”

– I’ll explain the method, but whether you act on it is your choice. And knowing doesn’t mean you can do it immediately.

The Demon King explained again.

– It’s not about seeing with your eyes. It’s about perceiving with your mind. Your mind isn’t acting as eyes here but rather observing, hearing, and sensing through it. That kind of awareness is key. It’s akin to someone without limbs understanding what having them feels like.

‘No.’

I understand already.

I just didn’t know whether it was possible or not.

Thanks to the Demon King’s explanation, it felt like a lock clicking open.

Suddenly, I grasped the method.

Starting from Ludines’ touch on my head,

I gradually delved deeper into something beyond that.

This sensation was similar to previous ones, yet…

I’m unsure if it’s because I intended it this time or not.

…It’s like willingly stepping into thick fog.

It’s somewhat vague.

====

It was the world seen through the eyes of a young girl.

Hired as a maid in a noble household, she served there despite being related by blood to the owners.

However, after her father passed away, their fortunes plummeted drastically.

During the process of selling off their assets at low prices due to debt collection, they were evicted from their mansion.

Their lives became truly wretched.

Or rather, perhaps the only one who genuinely felt despair was her younger brother.

He was young, suffered from disabilities, and his difficult personality meant no one understood him.

“Where do you find servants who bring in money instead of the master?”

With their wealth depleted, the girl took on various jobs voluntarily.

And the boy, watching this scene unfold, couldn’t comprehend why and finally confronted her.

“I don’t have anything left! There’s nothing I can give you! Why do you keep staying?!”

“…….”

The girl questions herself.

Reason?

I don’t know.

Because of family ties?

The only one?

Do family ties mean anything to me?

They don’t.

Rather, because of those ties, hadn’t her father treated her poorly?

Before coming here, her life was utterly miserable.

She couldn’t die.

Even death wasn’t within her control.

They ensured that rigorously, claiming it would violate their contract.

Most people lived half-dead lives while still alive.

She should’ve been the same.

“…….”

Her hair wasn’t originally this color.

Now, though, it’s stark white, soft like the sky.

Her eyes lost their color too.

Though her vision remains unaffected… how many times did people around her shun her, calling it ominous?

…Though honestly, she didn’t feel anything about it.

“The master entrusted me with this task.”

“Did Father save your life or something?!”

“…On the contrary.”

“Huh?”

Apparently, he did sell her to them, which turned out to be part of a planned reunion.

What seemed coincidental was predetermined.

Her father had anticipated dying or falling into an even worse state.

…‘He’ revealed the truth during Father’s funeral.

Father, you pitiful and shameless parent.

……….

She was selflessly devoted, admired by many—including those of high standing.

Some offered her permanent employment with substantial pay, and others even proposed making her a concubine, but she declined everything.

Ultimately, the physically impaired boy and girl had to move to the city seeking work and shelter.

But that too had its limits.

“For how long will you keep taking care of me?!”

Overlooked.

Or rather, ignored.

Even knowing that caregiving alone wasn’t enough,

She lacked the heart to measure such things.

Her neat attire was now tattered and shabby.

The only thing still intact was her iron cane.

Excluding that, everything about him looked pitiful and worn down.

Fuming with anger, he moved awkwardly and pathetically, trying to leave the place.

The girl could only watch helplessly, unable to stop him.

Realizing belatedly, she rushed after him.

There, in the middle of the street, she saw him stumble and fall after losing his cane.

Then…

…a carriage was coming.

-That’s far enough.

The girl rushes forward.

Holding the boy tightly, she gets trampled by hooves and crushed under the carriage.

-You’re really going to endure all that? You’ll die if you do.

And this entire scene, observed from afar like watching from a distance.

However.

Everything was distorted.

I’m borrowing her memories to be here now.

Thus, anything beyond what she remembers, I cannot know.

“If it had ended there…”

There wouldn’t be the Ludines we know today.

…

…

“Thank you for your concern.”

“…….”

She seemed regretful that her abilities couldn’t reach further.

“If only the nun were here…”

“It’s fine.”

Carriel blinked as if dismissing worry.

Her condition hasn’t improved.

The pain merely lessened slightly.

And even that faded back to its original state as soon as she removed her hand.

‘Is this unavoidable?’

Voices of complaint echo.

If only I’d stayed home quietly, I wouldn’t have gone through this pain.

True, but false.

Why did I go out recklessly to suffer like this?

True, but false.

Suffering is the same wherever you are.

Certainly, compared to the despairing pain I feel now, the struggles and pains of that era might seem trivial, but weren’t every moment before this filled with anguish?

“…….”

Ludines.

Why is she here?

And why is her past so dark and bleak?

“So, what’s your plan? Are you just going to sit here silently resting, or will you move?”

Aiseus pulled him back to reality as he drifted into thought.

Venus had departed earlier after receiving Carriel’s message.

“…There’s work to be done.”

“What kind?”

“First.”

Carriel extended her hand.

“Can you help me sit up using the fragile hands of a mere woman among all these people?”

“…”

“Anyway, your sense of humor isn’t working. Why have you become so dull?”

Still gripping her hand, he barely managed to stand up.

At the same time…

Through her eyes, I glimpsed my own childhood face.

Clearly, I was just a kid.

The only difference from now was that my neatly combed hair made my features very distinct.

Still, I was just a kid.

The girl was also ostracized by those around her.

Being a foreign princess with exceptional talents, her thoughts and behavior differed greatly from others.

Most importantly, lacking any common ground with peers meant she often mingled with adults.

Hunting daemons, organizing troops, facing dangers and conflicts—despite all this, those who knew her circumstances kept their distance.

“People can all be different, right?”

Even weeds have purpose in God’s creation.

“Aiseus, maybe the reason sister is different is because she does things others can’t?”

“Is that so?”

The girl dismissed it casually, though she hid her inner impressions.

…Everyone feared the young girl, yet this little one accepted her not out of innocence but fundamentally recognized her existence.

How deeply comforting that must’ve been for the girl back then.

“I thought I’d accompany you during my stay here.”

“I’d love that!”

People around them considered Carriel peculiar for showing kindness toward Aiseus.

Demon of the lake.

By the time she turned ten, she was already known by that title.

Aiseus never doubted that Carriel’s goodwill would continue.

But.

That was a grave misconception.

Because he treated everyone the way he treated her.

One day, he couldn’t help but ask critically:

“Why help others when you have such advantageous abilities?”

Persuading others, unlocking emotional barriers—Aiseus viewed these as abilities beyond his reach.

Naturally effortless for him, impossible for her.

“Why? Isn’t helping as many people as possible obvious when you can?”

Obvious?

“Why help at all? They should revere you. You’re an extraordinary being. No one can replace you. Spending your time and efficiency on them is wasteful. Losing you would be the greater loss. Don’t you know that, regardless of others?”

Why live selflessly?

Why dedicate yourself to others?

“You’re inherently qualified to be selfish! Why don’t you realize that?”

Many benefited from his aid, undoubtedly embarking on a noble journey.

But what about himself?

At first, it seemed like he acted to prove his worth as a hostage, but that wasn’t it.

This was simply how he was.

“…Sister, a world focused solely on efficiency and profit would create another kind of hell for those who can’t keep up. I dislike that.”

“Isn’t civilization supposed to progress like that? Even aiding the weak has its limits, right? Should we meticulously care for everyone from birth to death? Isn’t that similar to treating livestock? Humans should take care of themselves. What’s this talk about helping and saving others? Isn’t that just rulers spouting ideals for their subjects? Do you genuinely believe in practicing that? It’s impossible. Impossible.”

“I know. It’s impossible.”

“Then why not stop? You know it won’t work.”

“That’s why I do it.”

So, I do it.

“Knowing it won’t work, everyone gives up. So, I thought I’d try.”

Being smart is troublesome this way.

Seeing failure clearly, why bother? Is it necessary? Does the effort hold meaning or value? How much effort and time is required? What benefits come from it?

…All those calculations and questions were just excuses.

She realized that.

Through those dialogues.

But it wasn’t salvation.

Just knowing the path ahead and gaining the courage to walk it was…

Clear.

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