Chapter 9

“Seol Yun, that’s not it.”

“That’s not it?”

“I was drunk and confused the fridge with the wardrobe! Hehe!”

“I see. Give me the bottle, you might drop and break it.”

I laughed, and Seol Yun was kind. Seol Yun took the vodka bottle from me and went to put it in the living room fridge. Though there was a mini-fridge in the room, her insistence on going all the way to the living room’s larger fridge stole my breath.

People don’t just communicate with words, but actions too.

‘Is the room okay?’

Fortunately, all the instant noodles bowls and seaweed rolls wrappers were already cleared away after yesterday’s clutter.

Yesterday they were piled up, but thank goodness for that!

“Sis, your diet is exactly as I expected.”

Oh no, I just shoved them into the kitchen, didn’t I?

Seol Yun went to check the fridge and the younger sister that returned was glaring at me accusingly.

Someone, save me.

Delivery, cup noodles, convenience store seaweed rolls and triangle rice snacks. Since I moved in, that’s all I’ve eaten.

I’m not the type to cook, and though Seol Yun might know that, seeing it for herself is quite another story.

“Seol Yun’s sad. Why doesn’t sis care for her own body?”

“That’s… um…”

Honestly, no excuses can be made. Even if I had a hundred mouths, there’d still be none to justify.

When Seol Yun makes such a sorrowful face, it feels like my heart is being squeezed and guilt wells up.

“Since I knew you’d do this, I’ve found a healthy bento subscription service. It’ll start being delivered tomorrow, so make sure to eat one meal every day.”

Before long, Seol Yun got so used to my patterns that she’s now adept at manipulating me.

Would you believe her if I told you she’s not a sister, but a mother?

I’m in agreement. Things weren’t always like this though.

When I was the older brother and she the younger sister…

Pfft.

“Hiyaang!?”

Unanticipated attack!

The touch of my younger sister on my overly-sensitive body made me scream horribly. It’s wrong to attack me there like that!

“Big sis, you’re again not wearing a bra?”

“Seol… Seol Yun. Even siblings need boundaries, please!”

Defend my dignity and modesty!

“Why should I follow the sister code when you don’t follow the human code?”

Misunderstanding!

I’m not rejecting femininity or anything by not wearing a bra! I just naturally don’t need one because my chest hasn’t developed enough.

What is its purpose anyway?

To support the weight of the bust and prevent sagging, right? But I have almost no chest development, so there’s no need for such equipment!

If I had enough weight for sagging, then this would matter, right?

It’s akin to saying you should gently push your skin upwards during washing to prevent sagging—it’s completely meaningless!

“Weren’t you just thinking that because you have no chest weight, a bra isn’t necessary?”

“…”

Seol Yun isn’t a telepath. She simply read my usual patterns because I’ve said that many times.

“If that’s true, what’s this? What are these things I can feel?”

“Kyaa!”

Justify this! I’m not one to reject femininity or anything like that with bras. I just dislike the constriction of a garment for something I don’t have!

Honestly, I’m at the level of a slightly chubby boy!

Not protruding at all. Of course, she’s severely underweight too.

Society in Korea! It forces everyone with A cups, B cups, or less to wear bras. It’s society that’s wrong! Let those who need them, wear them!

“What will you do when your small chest starts sagging in the future? Seol Yun’s sad!”

“Please stop the sexual harassment…”

Seol Yun, who’s sad but still continues to fidget with her hands.

I always end up being defeated in our arguments.

“I’ll wear it now, so please stop…”

Felony!

Life imprisonment!

Forever condemned to wear the restriction device!

… But I’ll break free again soon.

‘Seol Yun needs them because she’s well-endowed, but…’

Seol Yun is tall. She’s not just well-endowed, but also tall. That wasn’t always the case though.

Even though I’m older, it wasn’t just due to age.

I was very healthy, while Seol Young was often sickly and her height didn’t develop properly, making her significantly shorter than her peers.

Seol Young…

‘Ah, this is clearly a blessing.’

I, who was 181cm as Seol Hoon, somehow turned into 155cm Seol Ah. Seol Young, who was just 160cm, became a 175cm Seol Yun.

What was once a head taller has now become a head shorter.

Occasionally, I harbor subtle resentment for the height difference, but will that make the height change?

Such a strange disease, huh? You agree, right?

After getting this disease, Seol Yun became healthier. Isn’t it ironic to say she became healthier after getting sick?

But it’s true.

Her constitution completely changed. Seol Yun no longer suffers from the illnesses she had when she was young.

Therefore, this must be a blessing.

Even if I can’t go out into society or have turned into this mental state.

Seeing Seol Yun no longer in pain is enough.

“Thank you. Big sis. For agreeing.”

Seol Yun said that and kissed my cheek.

The feeling wasn’t bad. It was actually good.

Isn’t my younger sister the cutest and most beautiful?

Wouldn’t you agree?

*

[Sis, you must eat your bento! Love, Seol Yun♡]

When I woke up, there was a note by my bedside.

She left it after we slept together last night.

It’s not that my younger sister is heartless; it’s all about my messed-up lifestyle as a unemployed person.

It’s already 1 pm? Oh no.

Even though I went to bed at a normal time, I overslept.

Seol Yun must have been too busy to wait for me to wake up.

Yesterday, Seol Yun and I went grocery shopping together, and we cooked and ate at home.

I appreciated her intention to teach me how, but unfortunately, my disinterest in cooking isn’t due to a lack of skill—it’s due to sheer laziness.

It doesn’t fit my personality to put so much effort into eating just for eating.

I retrieved the waiting bento from the courier storage on the ground floor.

Hmm, the strong smell of greens. Clearly, this is different from the usual takeout.

It tasted pretty good; the quality seemed high enough to show care for both health and taste.

Though thoughtful, the excessive packaging is somewhat problematic.

It creates too much trash.

South Korea really has too much unnecessary over-packaging. High-end strategies?

Let them try living as the one who has to discard the trash.

“… Trash.”

As I ate the bento, I pondered.

Am I really okay living like this?

At the age of twenty-two.

Not attending school or working.

This isn’t a winter break joke.

I dropped out of university a long time ago.

I am a person who has fled society—someone who has retreated inward.

A hikikomori.

Technically speaking, my qualification as a hikikomori might be debatable since I do leave the room.

But, an unemployed layabout who does not pursue job opportunities and lacks the will to work—there’s no better term for me.

Unfortunately, I’m just a room-lurking waste.

‘That topic was never brought up, Seol Yun.’

What have I been doing?

What am I planning to do in the future?

She refrained from asking such obvious, expected questions, which felt painfully empathetic.

Perhaps she could guess from watching my lifestyle.

Due to some incident, I’ve become mentally incapable of social life, mainly because my body turned into this child’s form.

Of course, you can probably guess it’s because of the widespread pedophilia in this world.

However, one cannot be unemployed forever.

It’s not about money.

Given my age, you likely understand what I mean about family circumstances.

It seems I could get away without working until I die, but…

No, this kind of ‘garbage’ mindset has to stop.

Settling here will be the end of it.

I don’t necessarily need a grand career.

Just something enough that Seol Yun won’t say “Seol Yun is sad” and squeeze my heart again.

Ideally, it should be something I can do from home, since I cannot interact with others in a normal way.

‘Writer? Cartoonist? Musician?’

The first things that come to mind are creative jobs.

Even if I don’t succeed, I can say, “I’m not an unemployed person, but an aspiring artist.”

…Thinking it through, I saw my future: “I’m in the planning stages, but inspiration hasn’t come yet.”

Sis isn’t planning to work, is she? But let’s not point that out.

I can already envision Seol Yun giving up on me! Despair sets in!

‘Since it’s a given, shouldn’t I aim for something I’m good at? Something I’m talented at?’

Of course, it would be better if I could succeed even a little.

What might those be?

Not a job to be ashamed of, possible for remote work, and something I’m somewhat talented at.

Are there really convenient jobs like that out there?

Most people in this world are forced to do things they don’t want to anyway.

There won’t be any jobs that are so obviously sweet, will there?

If they exist, they won’t be available to me.

Thinking too much about the future is giving me a headache.

It feels wrong to throw back another vodka party on my own, but guilt pangs hit.

Should I play games?

I know that game addiction can be just as dangerous as alcohol addiction, but it relieves my stress when I’m good at something.

Of course, I could never be a professional gamer.

As I’ve already mentioned, my body and mental state no longer allow social interaction.

Living in dorms and playing team-based games? That’s impossible now.

It’s really frustrating.

If it weren’t for my current form, I could have been good at that.

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