Chapter 88

“Split personality…? Did I hear that right?”

[Yes, you heard correctly. I will become a split personality.]

“Haa… I never would’ve thought of that.”

Kwaak-.

My head got all jumbled and my grip tightened on the rosary. Was it because I squeezed too hard? A gasp of pain came from beyond the rosary.

[Guh…]

“Ah, sorry! Are you okay? I guess I got too worked up in the moment.”

[Ku, it’s alright. In fact, it feels like I just got a nice massage and my body feels relaxed.]

“A massage? You must’ve felt like your whole body was getting crushed.”

I quickly loosened my grip. Only then did the Saintess’ moaning stop.

The rosary isn’t just a communication tool – it’s also an object that shares the Saintess’ physical sensations. It’s practically like holding the small Saintess Maria herself.

Considering how I had gripped the rosary with all my might in that emotional moment, it must have hurt quite a bit. Even someone who endured centuries of crucifixion-level pain let out a pained moan…

“I don’t get it.”

“What don’t you mean?”

“Was your 500 years just decoration? After dedicating 500 whole years, you can only maintain memories for half that time? Is that right?”

Saying this with slight irritation, the Saintess replied as always with her gentle voice.

“You’re mistaken.”

“Mistaken?”

[Those 500 years I spent in the Spirit World were the price for communicating with you through the rosary. If I had given that up, I would have been a complete reincarnation.]

“That was a stupid thing to do. Once I get hooked on something, I see it through to the end. There’s no way my feelings for you would fade in just 500 years. That’s nothing but a speck of time to me.”

[That’s not how I see it.]

“What?”

Her firm declaration made me snap back. The Saintess calmly explained her thoughts.

“How could you not see that these moments with you are Lord’s blessing?”

“Together? You’re making wordplay now?”

[Though our bodies may be separated by circumstances, aren’t our souls facing each other and having this conversation? I believe the soul is more important than an unborn body.]

“…”

It takes skill to deliver such nonsense so sincerely. What’s even more absurd is that this Saintess truly means every word.

[These past 400 years have been equally beneficial and enjoyable for me too.]

“Spending every day frozen in pitch black darkness, only getting to talk for 20 minutes a day?”

[Happiness and pleasure depend on one’s mindset. What might have been endlessly boring for someone else was precious time for me to cultivate my spirit.]

“Don’t make me laugh. Do you remember 200 years ago when I was late with our call? You completely fell apart, panting while answering my communication. I still haven’t forgotten that.”

I whispered teasingly. We had implicitly avoided mentioning that incident until now.

[Shouldn’t that day be something you reflect on instead of me?]

“Huh? What do you mean?”

[You made me into someone who anxiously waits for your calls, then you show up late. Whose fault is that?]

“…You’re right, it was my mistake.”

He basically assumes my communication is a given. Not wrong though.

“But still, are you sure about this? What about your dreams?”

“Dreams?”

“To study together at the academy, have sweet romantic moments… weren’t you hoping for something like that?”

[You need to make allowances for someone young and pure. I don’t regret it. Ultimately, what makes ‘me’ Maria remains the same. The Lord says knowing how to give up what’s most precious is true virtue.]

A proper answer from a Saintess. Or rather, this is a Maria-specific answer since not all Saintesses live by these doctrines.

“But you’re jealous all the time, aren’t you?”

[What?]

“Am I wrong? You’re always asking if anything happened between me and the girls in our party, being jealous. You just said giving up is the highest virtue, but you won’t give me that, huh?”

[That’s a different matter entirely.]

“What’s different? It’s fine for you to be young and innocent, but not others? Hmm, that makes sense. I get it.”

[You know far too little about women…]

Seemingly at a loss for words, the Saintess falls silent. My lips naturally curl upward.

[And besides, there’s nothing saying you can’t enter the academy at night.]

“Huh?”

[In fact, the dead of night when no one’s around might be the perfect time for a secret rendezvous.]

“What are you saying? Students should be in the dorms at night. They’re not allowed to leave.”

[It’s not that they can’t leave, it’s that they choose not to. But in this life, wouldn’t it be okay to indulge in a little ‘rebellion’? No one would be harmed after all.]

Now it’s my turn to be speechless. The Saintess lets out a satisfied “hohoho~”.

I’ve underestimated her. She’s innocent, not naive.

“Well… we don’t have much time left anyway, let’s stop talking about distant futures. Remember what I said last time about today?”

“Yes, the Hero Party is coming.”

“Just to clarify, I’m not going to save them. I’ll leave them to die according to history’s natural selection.”

[I understand. Life and death are the Lord’s will. I oppose you forcing changes to that order.]

“But you’d save someone weak in front of you, right?”

[It’s complicated. The Dragon King didn’t attack first, the Hero Party did. And it’s not like the Hero Party is seeking meaningless slaughter. It’s hard to distinguish right from wrong here.]

Ordinary people would obviously see monster extermination as righteous, but not this Saintess. Believing all life comes from God, she treats even monsters with compassion.

She’s done this since we first met. Her love and acceptance transformed me.

“But still…”

[Yes?]

“You’re not equating monsters with humans, right? Same with other animals.”

[That’s correct.]

“You eat meat, right? Eating other beings isn’t taboo, right? There’s no difference between monsters and cows, chickens, pigs. Monsters are even nastier. As doctrine states, humans sitting atop the food chain are superior to any other species, right? Though I’m not human.”

[That’s true. All life consumes other life to survive, which is also the Lord’s will. I merely think living with gratitude toward lives taken for daily sustenance is ideal. However…]

“However?”

The Saintess pauses briefly before continuing, carefully choosing her words.

How could someone who harbors demons within themselves define monsters as evil and hold such arrogant thoughts?

“You’re loved by me. Though canon law forbids nuns serving God from associating with men, you’re someone I passionately love despite that prohibition. To some, it might seem minor, but for a Saintess who has never broken rules in her life, this is a great change.

But I am a demon. Someone affiliated with the church should immediately slay demons upon encountering them. This ridiculous contradiction troubles the Saintess.

“No matter how lowly a life form, good and evil coexist within their hearts. As the Lord’s apostle, my mission is to nurture that goodness. Some say monsters are absolute evil that must be destroyed, but I’ve seen examples of monsters with good in their hearts – like Duchess Lilith whom I released unharmed, who then showed remorse and treated Western Continent citizens kindly; Duke Oscar Lucifer criticized as a devil but actually caring for others; and Meta whose story I heard through you.”

Speaking of Meta… I recall him gleefully declaring he turned a skeleton group into servants after smashing them earlier today. Hey Saintess, that’s not it. He’s just a minor demon.

“Anyway, today’s the day the Hero Party arrives.”

“Yeah, I’ll let things follow the original history as much as possible.”

[I pray for fortune in your future endeavors. May everything you wish for come true. And…]

“And?”

[I love you. I wanted to say it first today.]

“Tch!”

What’s this? Since when does it matter who says it first? How childish.

This petty competition over who says it first is annoying. Next time, I definitely need to say it first. It feels like the Saintess loves me more than I love her. Hurts my pride.

“Me too, I love you.”

Click.

The communication ended right before time ran out. Another productive talk. Now I know the future Saintess will be different between day and night.

Time to head back to the group. With the Hero Party coming today, history might twist if any of us encounter them…

Rustle.

I immediately turn my head at the sound of bushes and leaves rustling. Too focused on communicating with the Saintess, I neglected my surroundings. Didn’t expect anyone from our group would follow me here to take care of business.

The ki is small but dense – a compact powerhouse. Can’t be the Langwang, probably Beatrix, Aru, or Uriel. Hopefully not Uriel – things would get complicated if an angel finds out about time travel.

“Eh? A person? Is that a person?”

One, contrary to my guess, the voice that followed was youthful. I turn further. Only now does a previously unseen figure enter my vision.

A scruffy mage robe, a wizard hat pulled down so low it covers the ears, round glasses big enough to cover most of the face, and green hair sticking out from under the hat.

A form etched deeply in my memory, yet unmistakable despite the differences.

-I may not be able to kill you, but I’ll surely grab your ankle! Big-Bang!

The Great Sage Merlin Gregory.

From my past life, an unexpected encounter with the man who unleashed his full power 9th Circle magic, causing me to convulse near death.

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