Chapter 873

Chapter 873: Memories of Lolan Hill

Lolan Hill gently shook her head as she looked at this pink-haired girl with a troubled heart.

If it were her past self, she might have had similar thoughts and emotions, but now…

Lolan Hill took the girl’s hand and led her out.

“Let’s go out for a walk first. Staying indoors for too long isn’t good,” she recalled what her friend, the most active among her roommates, Alena, would do.

This girl from the Southern Isles never seemed downcast, always like a little sun.

The weak Lotte did not resist and followed this lady swordsman outside.

The streets of the small town were fairly clean. On the road, they encountered many local residents, some returning from work, others carrying heavy firewood or bundles of hay. Some of the houses along the street had their doors open; a few local women sat together, enjoying the sun while doing handicrafts.

“Where are we going?” After walking for a while, Lotte finally couldn’t help asking.

“Have you seen that hill outside the town?” The young lady pointed north of the town.

Thus, the two continued forward, climbing up a long slope, and reached this place with a good view.

After the journey, Lotte felt quite exhausted, her body aching and covered in sweat.

“We’re here,” Lolan Hill stopped and turned to look at the girl.

“Here?” Lotte surveyed the surroundings. Apart from a few large trees and patches of grass, there was nothing special.

“Look back, isn’t this a great place to enjoy the scenery?” Lolan Hill pointed towards the small town they had walked out of.

In the distance, a peaceful scene unfolded before them. High mountains stood opposite, and below them lay a golden wheat field and wilderness, forming huge square grids, shimmering under the afternoon sun, with waves of wheat swaying in the wind.

Closer to the bottom of the view were the small town enclosed by brown walls, with wisps of smoke rising from chimneys of various sizes.

Gazing at this beautiful landscape, Lotte couldn’t help stopping and standing still, feeling the gentle breeze from the mountainside.

“Are you feeling better?”

“A bit,” Lotte had to nod. Indeed, she felt more relaxed.

“You feel like life is a mess, unsure how to cope,” Lolan Hill spoke again, sitting beside Lotte on a stone.

“Yes, but how did Miss Mesia know?” Lotte’s light red eyes turned to her.

“Because, this is exactly what I used to feel like,” Lolan Hill sighed.

After graduating, she went through a long period of darkness, wandering aimlessly, hitting walls everywhere. Life was in shambles, and she didn’t want to confide in anyone or seek help.

She didn’t want to burden others with her troubles. Who could help when everyone was struggling? And what face did she have to ask for such assistance? People only said polite words, and she took them seriously, being too thick-skinned.

So fragile yet so proud, everything could crumble in an instant.

If those confident and strong people were like sunflowers blooming in the wind and sun, then she was like moss in a corner, afraid to see the light—lowly, insignificant, and fragile.

She hoped for help but feared exposing her vulnerability, being laughed at and struck down.

Lolan Hill lowered her head slightly, tucking away the messy strands of hair behind her ear, then looked back at the girl beside her.

“Are you afraid that after accepting help, you can’t meet expectations and disappoint others, even making them hate and curse you?”

Realizing her thoughts had been seen through, Lotte felt a strange sensation. She had always been the favorite child at home, with many people flattering her because she could give them rich rewards. Thus, she felt at ease and worry-free.

But now, she had nothing left, unable to bear those expectations. She couldn’t provide wealth or glory, didn’t know how to win, and even her future was a tangled mess.

Revenge? She was no match for her powerful brothers who died trying.

Flee? But where could she run to? Could she really live with peace of mind knowing the faces of the dead?

Moreover, even if she took revenge, would it be right? The glory and brilliance of the Pascal family were not immaculate, tainted with sin.

All these thoughts tangled in her heart, causing unrest.

Hearing Lolan Hill’s words, knowing she was being counseled, Lotte relaxed slightly.

“Yes, there are many things I might not be able to do well.”

At this moment, she slowly squatted down beside Lolan Hill.

“There are many things that trouble me, and I often wonder whether certain things should be done,” Lolan Hill gazed at the distant mountains and fields.

“But I gradually understand one thing. Listen to your heart, even if others don’t see or understand, you do.”

“Stop lying to yourself, and live honestly.”

“I know I’m not strong, so I avoid putting myself under pressure. I know I lack confidence, so I practice and familiarize myself with things, preparing myself for not achieving perfection.”

“Knowing I’m not someone with firm willpower, I stay away from temptations. If I feel I can’t be perfect, I’ll explain it clearly beforehand. If I need help and guidance for something, I’ll say so.”

“Often, worries come from wanting to be flawless. In fact, I am not such a person. If I truly strive for that, I fear the pain I might endure.”

Lotte sat quietly, listening to Lolan Hill talk about her past and views on life. Unconsciously, she began to reflect on her own heart.

She slowly closed her eyes, recalling the past, the gentle breeze brushing her body, a sense of peace and comfort slowly filling her heart.

After a long while, she opened her eyes again, and the world seemed clearer.

“Have you made up your mind?”

“Yes.”

“I want to borrow a sword from Miss Mesia to survive as an adventurer, but it might take some time to return it.”

“During this time, I’ll try my best to live on.” Lotte looked at the young lady swordsman beside her, her expression much steadier, though her face was still youthful, she was no longer lost in confusion and weakness.

Though she didn’t know what this girl had realized, Lolan Hill didn’t care. She just didn’t want to see this girl remain in isolation. She had once experienced the pain and torment of such self-imposed struggles.

Seeing this girl step out of the shadows, Lolan Hill felt a lot more at ease.

Occasionally doing good deeds felt rather nice. Perhaps it was also because she hoped that someday, when faced with insurmountable obstacles and sorrow, she could receive help and comfort from others.

Because she was so weak and lacking in confidence, always wanting more power and backup, always striving to do things correctly without offending anyone, always hoping to be kind, so no one would scold her.

Lolan Hill, Lolan Hill, despite everything changing, you’re still so timid.

(End of Chapter)