Chapter 87

To be completely honest, I’ve never had friends in my life.

I didn’t really know how to make friends either.

And whenever I managed to somewhat become close to someone, things ended after conversations like this:

“How do you have time to play around and still get such good grades? You must be so lucky with your brain power.”

“… If studying doesn’t suit you, maybe you should look into other career options?”

I had given that advice sincerely.

After all, how could someone who went to cram school every day after school and even gave up their weekends for studying only manage to rank 50th in the entire school? Shouldn’t they accept their limits?

Why insist on studying when it’s clearly not your forte? Isn’t stubbornly clinging to failure rather ignorant?

However, the person got upset with me and stopped talking to me altogether.

I used to spend time on online communities too.

Once, I posted about how difficult it was because my younger sibling was sick and my parents were always at the hospital.

Then someone replied, “Can you even afford the hospital bills?”

Some even accused me, “Oh, so you were pretending to be poor? You rich brat.”

“What do you expect me to do? Just because you have money doesn’t mean you get to complain.”

… Do any of these things even have anything to do with each other?

Suddenly, complaints from everywhere started pouring out.

Defeated in the Grand Competition of Unhappiness, I was chased away from the online community as well.

After that, I found solace in gaming.

In a hidden and not-so-popular game, I actually had some fun.

But then, suddenly, I turned into a woman.

And somehow, I ended up in America.

Once again, I had trouble adjusting at school.

Since my looks drew a lot of attention, I encountered a lot of hostility.

And eventually, I met the worst possible ending.

That’s when I became a shut-in.

Or wait, was I already like that from the start?

“Scary.”

Wild was crying.

After losing to me.

Would I lose another acquaintance?

I didn’t dare to offer comfort.

Because I’ve learned how dangerous it can be for someone with more to comfort someone with less.

There’s nothing much I can do.

Even if I admitted that I was unhappy despite having it all, I shouldn’t say such things.

You shouldn’t feel resentment. Why complain about what you don’t have when you already have so much? I’ve heard that story way too many times.

I couldn’t open my mouth.

It was suffocating.

All this summed up in just three sentences:

“I never really bet my life on gaming.”

“Every time people perceive walls and feel envy, my head feels dizzy.”

“Am I the one who is doing something wrong?”

Humans naturally tend to group together with their own kind, but it is not always because the rich simply exclude the poor.

I don’t even want to categorize myself into any group.

But too many people get upset when I don’t, as if I’ve crossed an invisible line. What should I do?

Life is not easy.

*

Jealousy and envy.

With his fame comes many who despise Victory, yet Sol could easily understand what he was feeling.

So many people, for various reasons, tried to drag Victory down from his bright pedestal, attempting to manipulate his emotions in some way.

But not Wild.

“Jun isn’t the type to get jealous because someone is better at gaming. On the contrary, he gets motivated. So don’t worry.”

“But still, he cried.”

“It was just a momentary emotional reaction.”

“But I’ve only worked with him for three months while you’ve been with him for three years. Maybe you’re biased.”

Perhaps it could be different.

To hear the faint voice, one had to listen intently.

It truly is a beautiful voice.

“He trusts you enough to consult you, right? Someone like me, who vouches for him. Believe in me. Jun isn’t that fragile.”

“But… if it really is a relief. I am so tired of being hated for this kind of thing.”

“Has this happened before?”

“It’s… not something I should talk about elsewhere.”

“Of course, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Fact is, I’m rich. Smart. And good-looking. And it’s not just gaming where I excel.”

It was an unexpectedly bold claim.

“Where is all this self-confidence coming from?”

“Whenever I try to be modest, people yell that it’s pretense. If I claim someone is better than me, suddenly there’s an uproar. Then what do you want me to do? Am I supposed to live my whole life with a zip on my lips??”

Victory could feel the sincerity through the intensity of the tone.

“You must have been through a lot.”

“Exactly! How do you always stay so composed? Everyone in the world seems out to find fault with you. What’s your secret?”

“If there weren’t people, there wouldn’t be me. I’ve become successful because people cheered me on and paid attention to me. If I want to return the favor, I need to try even harder.”

“Isn’t that a textbook answer? Sounds rehearsed.”

“People’s attention is what makes me who I am now. I remind myself of this every morning when I wake up.”

“It’s not surveillance! We’re not live-streaming this!”

“It’s true.”

“Damn it! Victory, do you even have a mental limit?”

“A life lived in gratitude is healthier than one full of complaints. I try my best to think this way. And actually, I have plenty to be grateful for.”

“I’m not someone who only complains! It’s just… I’ve been hit too many times! I know I’m privileged. But my dad didn’t make that money through shady means! Why should I have to walk around so cautiously, just because of my circumstances!?”

‘A type prone to making foes.’

There are indeed many occasions in life where one has to navigate situations with tact.

However, a person who flinches and flares up often inevitably ends up with many rivals.

Apparently, Sol’s social skills were lacking.

And perhaps his frustrations had accumulated.

“Have you considered venting anger through hobbies like walking or idol-obsessing?”

In fact, Victory often practiced meditation, which prompted his suggestion.

“No, really, listen! I always said I’d never go to a fan-meet. But secretly, I did. And there they were—people literally glaring at me with fire in their eyes, like hawks waiting to pounce. And now, my brother’s picture’s been plastered everywhere online as proof! It might not be certain who did this, but it’s due to me!”

“It isn’t your fault.”

“No, it is! I should have been more careful! I should have kept him away from that place!”

“It hasn’t been long since the stream went live, so you may not have considered such things. Don’t blame yourself too much.”

“What if some stalker finds my brother? What if something serious happens because of me?”

A normal person might dismiss this as excessive worry or paranoia.

‘He seems so worried. Is there a reason behind it?’

Victory thought.

‘But is it appropriate to ask about it?’

He hesitated, realizing this could be a sensitive topic.

However, reflecting on Sol’s behavior today, he concluded asking was the right thing to do.

It appeared Sol needed empathy and understanding.

“Has something similar happened before?”

“…”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. I’m sorry for asking so suddenly.”

“I almost got shot once.”

Another difficult topic.

This person had gone through more than expected.

“It didn’t seem like they were specifically targeting me. But you know, mass shooters can change their minds in an instant. The thought that I could be shot at any time was always there. I couldn’t think of anything else. It was truly horrifying. The world is far scarier than it seems.”

“I can’t even imagine.”

“All because I’m too pretty!”

How did the conversation transition from something so serious to this?

Victory was curious but didn’t dare ask.

Were there cowboy duels over women involved?

“If something happens to my brother, I’ll lose it.”

“What about practical safety measures? Self-defense tools, for instance?”

“Is that even effective without proper training? Can someone handle a crisis situation properly without it?”

“Even something is better than nothing, right?”

“True. We should all have ways to protect ourselves.”

“I’ll look into it too.”

“Why would you?”

Because you’re talking to me about this…

This person sure knows how to complicate conversations.

Sol…

‘So many twists and turns.’

A witness to a mass shooting incident?

It was an unimaginable position.

Each person has their own story, after all.

We shouldn’t judge someone without first understanding their background.

“Because we’re friends?”

“What? Are we?”

“Of course. Jun probably considers you a friend too, so don’t be so worried.”

“Will he stop hating me…?”

The loneliness of a genius who receives too much hatred, despite not trying particularly hard to excel.

It was hard for Victory to relate.

Their lifestyles were just too different.

But Sol was fortunate to have met Victory, someone who genuinely tries to understand others.

“Let’s meet up as a trio sometime, if you’re worried.”

“Are you curious about how pretty I am? Are you an appearance-obsessed newb too!?”

“No.”

I just thought you looked too lonely.

I want to hear what Wild thinks as well.

And you seem scared of direct conversations.

This was my way of facilitating it.

‘What does he look like to make them react this way?’

Victory tries to empathize, but at this point, it’s hard not to wonder if it’s all a figment of imagination.

The gaming skills are real, but the rest remains dubious.

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