Chapter 85

I fell in love.

I fell in love with a heart that raced.

But I didn’t know how to make it happen. So, I sought advice from someone who screamed about love.

“Love…? How can you be sure it’s love?”

At the Demon King’s hollow question, I clasped my hands and answered.

“I want to have that person. I want to mold them as I please. I want to make them mine. How could this not be love?”

“Fufufu… Uhehehe… Kekekeke…”

The always expressionless Demon King began to laugh, and soon he was laughing as if the world itself was leaving.

“HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Love! That feeling! You call it love? You talk about love while wanting to control the other person? Love? Is that love?!!!”

The Demon King’s laughter sounded almost insulting.

Because he mocked my pure love over and over.

“Fine. I acknowledge and respect that there are forms of love I don’t understand. But it’s different from what I have. For me, love is accepting everything about the other person.”

“I don’t particularly need your philosophy, though?”

“True. I can’t ignore a woman seeking advice on love. Let me give you one piece of advice.”

Then, the Demon King, having lost all his laughter, gazed intently at a flower he had been holding.

A single tear, as if compressed from all the sorrow in the world, fell onto the flower, and the Demon King, trying to hide it, spoke.

“Love is a lump of all sorts of impurities. Joy, delight, desire, pain, obsession, sorrow, anger, jealousy… They are the seasonings that make love sweet. Mix them freely and love to your heart’s content. But.”

The Demon King calmed his trembling hand by gripping his sword.

“Do not leave regret behind. Love mixed with regret becomes unbearably bitter. You won’t be able to endure it sober.”

“Quite a complicated emotion with side effects, this thing called love.”

“No, the merits of love far outweigh its flaws.”

The Demon King drew his sword and swung it, splitting a massive boulder in half.

“Love conquers all. It’s the driving force of inevitable victory. Love is an unforgettable spell of triumph. Love is an eternal, unchanging spark.”

Though madness emanated from his back, I felt admiration for that madness.

Because I realized that love could be that profound.

I, too, wanted to nurture my love like that.

“But what if someone appears to obstruct that love?”

“You ask the obvious.”

The Demon King pointed his sword at me and answered.

“Crush and destroy them. Walls that block eternal sparks must be shattered. If they take my love, I must exact equivalent revenge. So that the world bears scars like the ones on my heart.”

“So that’s it… That’s what love is…”

“Well, I’ll cheer you on. You, the dragon who feels nothing. I hope you, abnormal as you are, can reach love.”

The Demon King was one who screamed about love.

So, I believed everything he said about love must be true.

So, I destroyed everything that obstructed my love.

But the more I destroyed and took a step forward, he only moved two steps away.

“Why are you avoiding me?!”

I screamed, but he didn’t look at me.

I tried to inject my poison into him to make him love me. Humans always value their lives. But still, he didn’t love me.

I devoted myself, but he didn’t look at me. He didn’t love me. Why. Why. For what reason. I devoted myself. I couldn’t understand. I wanted to know. The reason he didn’t love me.

So, I devoted myself even more. I thought my devotion and courtship were insufficient.

If I destroyed more walls blocking love, if I gave him the pain that was a token of our love, if I courted him more passionately, I thought he would look at me.

That’s how I planned today’s attack.

Yet, he still didn’t love me. I could tell from his eyes. The emotions in his eyes were never love.

There was hatred.

There was disgust.

There was anger.

I could endure it. Because those were the impurities that made love even sweeter.

So, I could fight with joy. To make love sweeter.

But in the end, his eyes filled with pity and regret. Emotions that should never mix with love. Those emotions, not impurities, easily melted in, completely denying our love.

What went wrong? What did I do wrong? The moment I tried to recall, the words of the old king, sealed deep in my heart, surfaced.

“Kid. Even a brat like you will surely fall in love someday.”

I denied the king’s words. I said I would become the greatest king who knew nothing of love.

“Kuhahaha! That’s not something you can decide! That’s what makes life interesting! Anyway, if someone you love appears…”

The king stroked my head and smiled kindly.

“Use the power I gave you to protect them. So they don’t cry. So they don’t suffer. So they don’t grieve. Because love is the act of stealing their tears.”

Ah.

Why did I only remember this now?

No, this was a memory I had sealed away. To deceive myself after committing atrocities under the guise of alleviating pain.

I was happy. I wasn’t a lifeless stone. I only remembered now.

“…Why did you let yourself get stabbed?”

Would he believe me if I told him? Would he believe the words of someone who had done countless things contrary to love? Even I wouldn’t believe myself.

“I’ll believe you. Even if it’s a lie.”

“Really…?”

“It’s the dying wish of a person. No reason to doubt.”

What a lovely person. A manly thing to say, the one I chose.

“How could I avoid it? The touch of someone I love. The revenge of someone I wronged. The regret of someone who has endured so much.”

It might be sophistry.

It might sound like an excuse.

It’s probably just sweet talk.

That’s just the kind of creature I am.

“Even if the whole world denies you. Even if the whole world points at you and calls you strange. Even if the whole world mocks your regret.”

“…..”

“I will accept it. I must accept it. I have no choice but to accept it. Because I am the sinner who tormented you.”

“Pitiful. You’re not the only sinner who tormented me.”

I don’t care about others. Such beings are unnecessary to us now.

“There’s so much I want to say to you… So, so much… It’s still piled up like a mountain… I’ll regret not being able to say it all, won’t I?”

“Say it. I’ll listen as much as I can.”

A kind person. A person with manufactured kindness. And that kind person who became poison.

“Raul Berze. My lovely nemesis. My strong unrequited love. The man I’ve waited for all these years.”

I will love you as you are. I won’t try to mold you anymore. I will love you as Raul Berze.

“I’m sorry. I tormented you. It’s okay if you hate me. No, I don’t even have the right to say that. I don’t have the authority to judge.”

I took away the person he loved.

I injected poison that gnawed at his life.

I am the worst woman who tore his heart apart.

The worst woman can’t approach the best man. Because the man I love couldn’t be anything but the best.

“Thank you. For teaching me love. For letting me die not as a cruel queen but as a little dragon. For letting me throw off this wretched yoke.”

I could remove the yoke of the crown. The ridiculous collar of being the Demon King’s subordinate was now goodbye.

He destroyed it. He severed it. For me, who only destroyed his precious things, he showed such consideration.

There’s really no reason not to love him.

“And from now on, I’ll speak not as your enemy, the queen, but as a girl in love.”

I approached him with my abdomen pierced. I took small steps, staining his staff red.

And finally.

He didn’t avoid me.

Yes. This is enough.

“I like you.”

“I love you.”

“Please be my lover.”

He gave no answer.

He remained silent, but I knew his answer very well. I wasn’t disappointed. Rather, his consideration in not putting it into words was lovely.

So, without disappointment, I caressed his cheek.

“I’ve loved your awkward silence all along.”

I pressed my lips to his, maintaining that lovely silence.

He didn’t avoid it.

I knew it wasn’t love but consideration.

But that’s enough. I didn’t know consideration could be this warm.

This silence, born from pressing lips together, is more enchanting than a hundred words.

This brief farewell is happier than a hundred battles.

“Just in case. Just in case.”

I held his lovely hand.

“If I were to live a painful life ten thousand times to atone for this sin. If I were to wash away my filth and become pure. If I could become a girl who innocently loves you.”

My consciousness was fading.

Death was trying to take me.

But the warmth of the hand I held delayed that death for just a moment.

“Then, please give me an answer other than silence.”

“…Fine. To do that, I’ll need to ask your name. So I can remember you.”

“Arisa. My name is Arisa.”

“…Arisa.”

As the sensation of that warm hand faded, my eyelids began to close.

“I’ll remember you.”

“Thank you…”

I had won love.