Soeun Yu remembered the day about which Iljirok had written.
It was only natural, given it was a memory she could never forget even if she wanted to.
‘So, there was this hidden background all along…?’
It had been around the fifth year since the Great Blood War began.
As much as Soeun Yu didn’t want to believe that Namgung Cheolbin’s love had faded, it was something she could no longer overlook.
Rather, she vividly remembered the moment she firmly resolved to love him even more, in proportion to how his affection had cooled.
But what did this mean?
‘Exactly what kind of heart-wrenching feelings did he pour into this…’
Not only the words themselves, but the significantly torn paper and the blurred handwriting showed exactly how Namgung Cheolbin felt at that time.
“Ugh…”
With a sigh laced with complicated emotions, Soeun Yu turned to the next page of Iljirok.
The river flows gently, like the movement of the Yangtze’s waters.
Time.
Time must flow.
That is the principle of the world, the order of the heavens and earth.
Yet… what am I doing now?
Am I not, for some mere greed, trying to hold on to time that should naturally flow according to its principle?
All because of my greed.
Is this truly the right path?
Anyway, every person dies. Even if I save people for over ten thousand years, they will inevitably face death.
Is it right to struggle in vain with people who are destined to die regardless?
To defy the principles of the world, break the harmony and regulations of the heavens and earth?
Hmm…
It’s a foolish question.
After all, wasn’t the one who granted me this ability to revert time, the very heavens themselves?
This life I live now? It’s a destiny given by the heavens.
Even though it’s so clear when you think about it…
My resolve and determination must have dulled quite a bit, harboring such meaningless dreams.
Today, my wife asked me to hold her after a long time.
Of course, I had to refuse her. My repressed lustful desires could easily overflow like a flood once again.
But even that much is relatively okay.
Humans are creatures of reason; restraining mundane desires isn’t overly challenging after all.
It’s not like me from the old days, who used to cut off my own parts.
And I mustn’t recklessly extinguish life, knowing the world will soon perish.
“Ahh…?”
Soeun Yu’s pupils dilated. At the same time, they shook helplessly.
Her heart was crumbling in stark contrast to the neat handwriting on the diary page.
“Is this… the reason why?”
Soeun Yu recalled Namgung Cheolbin recoiling and gasping in shock each time she tried to touch him.
She had thought it was simply because his feelings for her had cooled.
“It’s because we cannot create new life in a world that’s destined to perish…”
She replayed in her mind their conversation from the time of the Seven Flowers War, when she had last seen him.
– Creating life that we cannot responsibly care for is a sin.
She hadn’t understood his words then.
Responsibility? What responsibility was he talking about? She thought it was just an excuse because he didn’t want to be in a relationship.
She had firmly believed that it was so…
“Haa, haa…”
Soeun Yu vividly remembered Namgung Cheolbin before he changed, as mentioned in the Iljirok, meaning, “before the regression began.”
He lost to her despite not resorting to the Royal Sword Formation due to maintaining the laws of the Namgung family, even putting his honor and status on the line.
And yet, he only laughed and didn’t seem the least bit upset.
She remembered the look of his pure and righteous nature, someone so strict with the rules and discipline he set for himself.
There was nowhere in Iljirok that stated the absurdly incredible content was true.
She didn’t know who the red-haired woman that handed her the Iljirok was, or why the woman had requested her to read it.
Nevertheless, Soeun Yu felt a natural “sense of inevitability” from what she just read.
If such an unbelievable ability to rewind time were in someone else’s hands…
Would that person have restrained their desires like her husband?
According to Iljirok, Namgung Cheolbin thought this round, like every other attempt, was bound to end in failure.
That meant, anything he did would be erased as soon as time reset, leaving no trace.
If an ordinary person had that ability, wouldn’t their actions be different?
Soeun Yu herself was one of the kindest people, yet she couldn’t imagine how clean their actions would remain even by her standards.
Humans break their moral compass the moment legal boundaries disappear, and here it was a situation where no one would remember anything.
But according to the Iljirok records, even amidst this, Namgung Cheolbin maintained his sense of morality, refusing to conceive a child recklessly.
This was the essence of who ‘Namgung Cheolbin’ was.
“Cheolbin… Cheolbin… Cheolbin…”
So absorbed was she, Soeun Yu didn’t even realize that she was anxiously murmuring her husband’s name.
Soeun Yu turned the page and continued reading.
*
Today, I met Tang Sobaek, who is from the Tang family.
It was an impulsive action on my part.
The treasured daughter of the Poison Lord, Tang Sobaek.
Almost everyone in the world knows nothing about it, but in truth, she is one of the top strategists of this generation.
To the point that she once secretly defeated the famous strategist of the Zhuge family in a game of Go.
However, Sobaek has never revealed herself in any of these rounds. She only sits in the archives of the Sichuan Tang family, reading books all day.
She dislikes bothersome and seemingly futile matters, as she sees no point in a life destined to die anyway.
The reason I specifically made time to visit her was to seek an answer.
Am I truly on the right path?
I couldn’t be sure at all, which is why I sought her counsel, knowing she’s far sharper than me at a young age.
Of course, I didn’t reveal the truth about my regression. Why create unnecessary problems?
Below is a part of our conversation:
“I have a question to ask you.”
“Wow, the Sword Sage himself deigns to visit.”
“There’s a place that I must go. But the way is long, rugged, and perilously dark.”
“And?”
“It’s so dark I might veer off course at any time.”
“That sounds like a fascinating journey.”
“On this path… how should I proceed?”
Tang Sobaek was indeed a brilliant young woman.
She straightened out my wavering spirit with just one comment, even though this cycle would be forgotten by the next regression.
“Recall why you first started to tread this path.”
“…”
“The original intention tends to weaken over time, and the challenge lies in whether or not you can reignite it.”
“…”
“I don’t know too much about you, the Sword Sage, so I don’t presume to pass judgment lightly.”
Yes, as she said, recall why I started the regression in the first place.
Remember the scene where I was stuck in a pit dug by the Blood Cult members with the inability to do anything, while Soeun Yu was shredded by the Blood Cult disciples.
A simple concept. The Blood Cult members became the Blood Demon, who in turn would become the Celestial Demon.
Only time had stood still for me and the Celestial Demon. To everyone else, time flowed as usual. What felt like ten thousand years to me was only ten years for them.
Yes, it’s fine. I can continue as long as my consistent goal is to save everyone.
Let me be the only one who breaks, and that’s enough…
By now, my life is almost nearing its end.
When the red dawn breaks, I will fight the Blood Demon, though it is more like a warm-up exercise to get ready for the Celestial Demon.
Unfortunately, if I didn’t know the Blood Demon’s techniques, I could have used this chance to practice more.
Truly lamentable. Knowing all of the Blood Demon’s methods.
This fight will likely start with Blood Green Hands, then Blood Heaven Annihilation, and it won’t likely go to the third technique.
By now, I’ve even come to know her little habits. For example, the Blood Demon’s habit of shaking the sword three inches before using a technique.
…It is an unpleasant reality to have known the Blood Demon so well, all while failing to reach the Celestial Demon through so many cycles.
The war is over, and the Blood Demon is dead.
Everyone in the world rejoices. My daughter danced for joy, and my wife congratulated me on my hard work.
Smiles are seen on everyone’s lips.
However, I cannot smile.
In three days, the Celestial Demon will descend, leading an army of ten thousand demons.
It is incomprehensible why they won’t stop coming, knowing that I will defeat all of them.
Of course, I don’t tell people about the future recklessly.
It’s not because of the consequences of revealing Heavenly Qi. Heavenly Qi refers to my regression, not the act of revealing futures willy-nilly.
That would be called “Heavenly Qi Leakage,” which is separately regulated.
Thinking about it, it’s rather contradictory.
What’s the difference between Heavenly Qi (Heaven’s Mechanism) and Heavenly Records (Heaven’s Record)?
Even though the meanings seem nearly alike, they are distinct.
Sometimes I also wonder if this world is a novel.
The absurd ability of regression only strengthens my delusions.
But surely, it can’t be. If this world were a novel, it wouldn’t be this dark.
This world, where dreams and hope have no room, can’t possibly be a novel.
Really, it’s an absurd world.
An unbelievable event occurred.
No, an unimaginable event has transpired.
The Celestial Demon has withdrawn.
This marks the end of the long regression journey.
Even the moment of writing this diary entry feels surreal.
Perhaps I’m merely dreaming.
Could this world, this imagined utopia filled with my empty hopes, be a fabrication?
Even as I write, my hands tremble.
It’s been so long since I reached the level of unchanging heart.
Ah… today is truly a day of utmost excitement.
…Or not? To be honest, I don’t feel much. The sensation is more bewildering than celebratory.
Reality doesn’t feel real.
Still, there is nothing to worry about anymore.
For the light I’ve long awaited, has finally arrived.
Now, my duties are done.
The Martial Arts Alliance asks me to become the new Lord of the Alliance… and the royal family intends to hold a grand celebration honoring the hero of the martial world.
But right now, what I truly need is rest to soothe my tired spirit.
Can I, too, finally find peace?…
