Chapter 77

About a hundred years ago, I mentioned something about the empire’s planned “Demon Forest Extermination Project.”

Demon Forest Extermination Project. Another name for it? The Hero Party Disposal Project.

You see, the hero party was useless as a war weapon and couldn’t even handle menial tasks—just a bunch of money-eating pests. So the empire started pondering: how do we get rid of these guys? After much deliberation, they decided to deploy them into Demon Forest, which was already a headache anyway.

However, a hundred years ago, one human woman ruined their plans. Saintess Irolwel. She risked her life to protect Demon Forest, leaving the empire without any justification to carry out the project.

But, all things are forgotten with time.

They say that in ten years, mountains can change. A hundred years is more than enough time for a single human to fade into history.

It’s now the year 514 of the Imperial Calendar—a rather quiet period historically speaking. Well, except for “one incident.”

“Saintess, do you happen to remember what that was?”

[Though embarrassing, I have never failed a national history test.]

“Heh heh, looks like you know.”

[The hero party will arrive at Demon Forest. Led by the hero Claire.]

“Correct. And because of that, Demon Forest experienced a massive massacre.”

Currently, in the year 514 of the Imperial Calendar, the hero party invades Demon Forest, under orders to exterminate every demon creature they encounter.

Of course, saying ‘exterminate’ is just a polite way of saying ‘go die over there,’ and both the empire and the magic tower, along with the Seven Nations, know this.

Heroes are strong. That’s an undeniable fact. The sword swung by the hero cleaves through the earth, and the magic cast by the mage of the hero party rivals even dragons.

But all of that is based on when their growth has reached its peak.

A hero grows stronger—to protect their comrades, to safeguard the continent. They face and defeat powerful enemies, like Demon King generals or counts. In return, they gain the sweet reward of growth.

But with Demon King Canos not attacking the continent, the hero party’s growth stagnates. Naturally, rookies like them could never pacify Demon Forest filled with demons.

[In the southern part of Demon Forest… I’ve heard that all monsters except Dragon King Endros will be wiped out.]

Still, even if they’re annoying little pests, heroes are still heroes. Centered around Hero Claire, the hero party successfully hunts down every demon in the southern part of Demon Forest.

Though in the process, most of their companions were lost, and by the time they defeated the final demon, even the heart of the hero had been torn apart.

Their desperate struggle wasn’t meaningless, though. It allowed the next hero party sent to Demon Forest a hundred years later to confront the Dragon King without losing any strength. As a result, the Dragon King dies, and a new Dragon King, Langwang, ascends.

And the ‘mage’ of that hero party was none other than Merlin Gregory.

Merlin Gregory, who stained my twilight years with suffering—the Great Sage Merlin Gregory. One of the greatest mages in history, a human who reached the 9th circle and stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Dragon Lords as an absolute powerhouse.

I’d love to just kill Merlin Gregory a hundred years from now, but I can’t. The human world’s history would change.

At least until Maria is born, I need to let history unfold as it should. In the hero party a hundred years from now, everyone except Merlin Gregory dies. And that will happen again in this timeline.

And the surviving Merlin Gregory… after facing the massive wall that is Dragon King Endros, establishes <Eden Academy> to train future generations.

In my past life, it trained Saintess Maria and Hero Frey Dr. Siegfried; in this life, it trains me, Oscar.

The greatest academy on the continent.

[Are you planning to interfere?]

“What am I supposed to interfere with?”

[Anyway, no one knows what happens inside Demon Forest, right?]

“Nah, changing history would just cause problems. Let’s just watch. Watching fights is always fun, isn’t it?”

[Joker-sama, you’re always so unpredictable.]

“Ho ho, you’re right, but it kinda pisses me off. Are you saying you don’t trust me?”

If I’m gonna do something, I’ll do it. Especially since Saintess Maria’s birth is involved. There’s no way I’d act rashly in such an important matter.

[…There may be no man as unworthy as Joker-sama in this world.]

“My image is completely ruined. So, does that mean Saintess thinks I’m the most unworthy man in the world?”

[Obsessed?]

“Spending your whole day waiting for my calls, trembling when they come, reciting our conversations over and over… Isn’t that obsession? Heh heh.”

[…Too cruel! For whose sake did I become this way?!]

“Do you expect sympathy from the villain?”

[A warm word wouldn’t hurt, would it?]

“That’s the hardest thing to give me.”

Frankly answering, the deflated voice of the saintess. Toward her melancholy figure, I whispered jokingly.

“Then, I love you today too.”

[…!]

“Hahaha, see you tomorrow.”

[I, I also…]

Clack.

I hung up before she could finish her sentence. Though I hear silent confessions of love echoing across dimensions, that’s none of my business.

Maria has been in the same place, in the same posture, for three hundred years. I wonder if it feels uncomfortable, but luckily, being a spirit means she doesn’t experience that. Still, she often feels itchy, so I scratch her back during our communications.

“Cough.”

“Arū, how much hunting did you do today?”

“Cough.”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t have time, I’m busy.”

Tramping along with a huge boar slung over his back comes Langwang. On his head sits Arū.

Though it might seem irritating, Langwang just laughs and doesn’t scold Arū. Truly, he’s a real man.

On the other hand, that Arū…

“Hey, Arū, I noticed you haven’t shown your face all day.”

“Bark bark.”

“Tsk, you’re ignoring your master? Is it your second puberty or something? You’ve been staying indoors lately!”

“Second puberty? Stop using difficult words. Explain it simply.”

“Hah, you’ve really gotten above yourself. Do you miss the taste of my magic staff?”

“I’m stronger than your magic staff. Bark bark.”

Since experiencing ‘awakening’ a few years ago, he’s been acting all high and mighty, like he’s king of the world. If I gave him a dagger now, he’d probably assassinate anyone.

Even in our party, he’s currently the strongest at this point. Not quite on par with Uriel in his prime yet, but I expect he’ll reach that level soon. The problem is, ever since he got stronger, his attitude toward us has grown cold.

“So? Saying you’re stronger than the magic staff? Your arrogance is reaching the heavens!”

But once a poop puppy, always a poop puppy. Challenging the authority and dignity of a master is unacceptable…

Crunch.

“Bark?”

“…Nope. As expected, Arū is the best. Yeah yeah, there’s no wolf better than Arū.”

“Bark bark.”

What just happened? I think I saw Arū bite a rock lightly, but why is there a crater now?

Don’t mess with Arū. Of course, if we fought to the death, I’d definitely win, but there’s no need to create conflict within the team. This isn’t retreating out of fear—it’s a highly intellectual strategy and tactics. Hmmph!

Plop!

Arū, who was sitting on Langwang’s head, leaps like a feather and lands on my shoulder. Arū straddles my shoulders with two soft but firm thighs.

I don’t feel any weight. His hair has grown long enough to drag on the ground, so why hasn’t he gained any? Is it because I’ve been working him too hard under the guise of hunting?

Sitting on my shoulders, Arū yawns lazily and lets his chin rest on my head. Despite being a large guy, he squats down like this. I sigh and ask,

“Why are you skipping out so much lately? Are you distracted?”

“Grrr… I’m busy.”

“Busy? What are you doing? You’re not bringing back any food.”

“Wolf king is busy. Lots to do.”

“Sigh, alright alright. Sleep well then. This must be what it’s like raising a daughter. You really don’t listen.”

“Mmm…”

Arū sleeping on my shoulders. If he falls backward, he’ll crack his head, so I move him forward and hold him like a princess. Arū only half-opens his eyes and stays still.

Meanwhile, Beatrix and Uriel return from hunting in the opposite forest. Langwang has already plucked the boar’s fur and is roasting it.

“Master, did anything happen?”

“I’m always fine. Should we check your harvest first?”

“Yes, I caught three wild boars and five goats.”

Beatrix glances sideways at the net she’s dragging. Dead animals pile up in the net. Nice, with this much, we’re set for a few days.

“Wow, Beatrix-knight, you’re amazing. What about you, Uriel-san?”

“This body caught one rabbit.”

“WHAT?!”

My eyes widen. Not just me—Langwang also turns his head in surprise. Arū’s ears perk up, but he stays put. Listen, you, why aren’t you waking up when you clearly heard that?

“One, one rabbit? Did you say you caught?”

“Indeed. Is there a problem with that? Hmph, I caught it all by myself without anyone’s help.”

Uriel proudly declares while puffing out his chest. Her prominently protruding bosom catches attention.

I grin widely and respond.

“Finally! Finally, you’re pulling your own weight! From now on, I won’t have to prepare special meals for you anymore! Since you can self-sustain!”

“What, what? Leader, that’s…”

“Why? Is there a problem? Sure, it’s your first hunt after two hundred years, but isn’t the first step always the hardest? Now that you’ve done it once, you’ll surely improve from the second time onward!”

Waah! Finally, I can legally kick this bug-eater out! I throw my arms wide and shout “Hooray!”

Unlike me, Uriel seems deeply shocked. Her previously smug expression quickly turns to panic. Who brags about catching just one rabbit anyway? Unless you’re Arū.

Sure, it’s commendable as a first hunt, but how about compensating for the last 200 years of dedication?

“Uh, Leader… I’ll do better… please, cancel what you just said…”

“Huh? Aren’t you asking me to contradict myself? Does the Lord teach that?”

“Leader, you know… if I leave like this, I will surely…! Save me! I promise not to act arrogant anymore…”

“Haha, I was just joking. Joking. How could I abandon a comrade I’ve grown fond of? It was just a little prank. Relax. You’re going to cry if you keep this up.”

“No, joke? Phew… well, that’s expected… Anyway, you!”

What compensation? I never expected anything from a bug-eater anyway. Just stay calm and don’t cause trouble, and I’ll be grateful.

Besides, when Uriel dies, Michael will immediately descend and beat me up. Our current team might be able to gang up on one archangel, but if Gabriel and Raphael join in, we’re doomed.

Most importantly, I’m not a heartless bastard who abandons comrades. Rather, I’m someone with a pretty weak heart full of emotions.

“Hohoho, it’s already boring enough in this world. We need to have some fun pranks while living.”

“Tch! Anyway, Leader, you…”

“Hahaha! Angel! You’re hilarious!”

“Ugh… Even though I once revered you, seeing you grovel to demons like this is truly pathetic.”

“Grovel? Who’s groveling? Beatrix! How dare you show such disrespect!”

Thinking about it, the relationship between Beatrix and Uriel shouldn’t be anywhere near good. No, considering their backgrounds, it should be terrible.

Yet, despite constantly bickering, they stick together. A heretic of the church and someone who fell but is becoming an angel again shouldn’t get along easily, but our Beatrix and Uriel don’t care about societal opinions.

Oh right, this isn’t society. I forgot because we’ve been in Demon Forest for too long.

Crackle.

“Everyone, eat your fill today. I don’t know what’s going to happen starting tomorrow.”

“Hmm? What do you mean by that?”

While munching on roasted wild boar, I mutter, causing Langwang to raise an eyebrow in question. I smirk and whisper,

“We have a very important guest coming.”

***

Rustle.

“Ugh, it’s so cramped. Can’t you move over a bit?”

“Uriel, why are you asking me? This is because of Langwang’s size.”

“To be honest, it’s not just Langwang, but Beatrix’s sword is ridiculously oversized. What kind of greatsword is bigger than a person?”

“…If Master orders me to change, I will.”

“Never mind. You’ve already mastered it, so keep using it. But Langwang, where did Arū go? Why isn’t he here?”

“He said he had somewhere to go earlier.”

“Tch, that guy. Leaving at such an important moment. Hey, shhh! Everyone, be quiet!”

Slowly approaching a group of goblins, a group of five humans.

One holds a sword, another a magic staff, an elf carries a bow, a big guy wields a shield, and another wears priest robes.

“Of course, the first hunt starts at the goblin den. From now on, everyone stay absolutely silent. They’re gonna die anyway, but we don’t want unnecessary trouble.”

We’re hiding in nearby bushes watching.

To witness the tragic fate awaiting the hero party destined to perish in Demon Forest.

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