Chapter 76

It didn’t take much time or preparation to leave Chengdu for the condolence visit. I had already sent what was needed through Han Yeom. All I needed to bring was Liu Bei’s decree appointing me as the chief envoy of the condolence delegation. Of course, since I was the chief envoy, the scale of the delegation had grown, requiring more preparation—not for condolence items, but for the personnel to escort me. And I also needed a proxy to manage the Lanling Army in my absence. ‘Zhang E, Ma Dai, and Bu Chuan alone might struggle.’ But that was more about rank and status than ability, so appointing someone of high status as my proxy would suffice. “We’ll be together again.” “Indeed.” The one I greeted with a bright smile was Zhao Yun. Just like when we rescued Ma Chao’s family in Hanzhong, Liu Bei had sent Zhao Yun to accompany me again, concerned for my safety. And on top of that, “I heard General Pang De will join us in Nanjing.” Pang De was also with us. “Hanzhong comes to mind.” Although Jin Dou and Wei Yan weren’t with us, three out of five was a majority. Jin Dou, who managed Liu Bei’s direct troops, and Wei Yan, who had been recognized for his achievements and was now the commander of Nanxing Province, were unlikely to join us. Before the official departure, we checked the personnel and supplies. From Chengdu to Ye. Even if it was short, it would take months, so managing food and daily necessities was crucial. Meanwhile, I hinted to Zhao Yun that we could drop formalities and speak casually, but he was firm. “Although we are close privately, you hold a higher position than me, Rear General. Moreover, you are the chief envoy of this delegation. How could I lower my speech?” True to his reputation for virtue and fairness, Zhao Yun maintained strict hierarchy despite his closeness to me. Once all preparations were complete, the journey to Nanjing to meet Han Yeom began. As we were about to leave Shu, Zhao Yun asked, “You seem unusually cheerful. Did something good happen?” “Ah, did it show on my face?” I awkwardly smiled and touched my lips. I hadn’t realized it, but the corners of my mouth were slightly upturned. There was indeed something pleasant. It happened just as I was leaving home for the condolence visit. Early in the morning, as I was about to leave to meet the gathering time, someone was waiting for me. At the front gate stood my mother. “Mother…” “Were you planning to leave without a word?” As I stood frozen, my mother briskly approached and straightened my collar. “It’s still chilly. Dress warmly.” “…Yes.” My mother adjusted my clothes, then held my collar for a moment before letting go and looking up at my face. “Did you think I would hate you?” “No, I didn’t think that. It’s just…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it. My mouth and tongue moved, but the words wouldn’t come out. My mother wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. “What parent hates their child? I’ve always worried about you. How could I resent you?” “Even though I knew about my uncle’s death and turned a blind eye?” “Even so. I’d rather be a bad mother than have a bad daughter.” I felt small. How selfish and cowardly I had been. I hated my wretched self for turning away from someone I should never have ignored, intoxicated by military achievements. “Remember. I am always on your side. No matter what you do, I will always love you.” Each word, filled with maternal love, melted my heart. “You’ve only lived in the south, so you might not know, but Hebei is cold. By the time you reach Ye, it will be summer, but it’s different from here. I’ve packed some clothes, so take them with you.” “Yes… Mother.” As I held back tears, my mother patted my shoulder and said, “Hold your head high. Wherever you go, remember you are my daughter, born of the Xiahou family. Be confident in front of anyone. Keep that in mind in Ye.” “Yes. I won’t forget.” “Good. That’s enough.” My mother let go of my shoulder, took something from her pocket, and placed it in my hand. It didn’t feel heavy, so it probably wasn’t coins or valuables. I looked at the silk pouch in my hand, then at my mother, asking with my eyes what it was. “I packed some snacks for you to eat on the way so you won’t get bored.” My mother, who had heard about the condolence delegation, had spent days thinking about what I might need and prepared this. I understood it intellectually, but only now did I truly feel my mother’s love. I hugged her tightly and left her with the best words I could muster at that moment. “I’ll be back.” And when I returned, I briefly let go of the reins and took out the silk pouch I had carefully kept in my pocket. Untying the string, a faintly sweet and savory scent wafted from inside. “General Zhao.” “Yes?” As Zhao Yun turned his head at my call, I took out the contents of the pouch and offered them to him. “Would you like some candy?” § Thanks to the joyful start before departure, the day was clear and bright, with a cool breeze. Passing through mountains and fields filled with the scent of spring, I set foot in the territory of Cao Wei. If I had been in a sightseeing mood before, from then on, I observed and memorized my surroundings meticulously, like an inspector on a tour. It was impossible to openly draw maps, but who would know if I engraved them in my mind? Passing through the Jin Ling Mountain Range, the grandeur of Chang’an was astonishing. It lived up to its reputation as one of the greatest cities of the time. In contrast, Luoyang was splendid. The fact that it had been the capital of the Later Han before Cao Cao moved the capital was palpable. Chengdu, Nanjing, Chang’an, Luoyang, and Ye. The long journey continued even as the seasons changed. The condolence delegation, which had departed in late March, finally approached Ye as summer began. Even so, perhaps because it was the north or the average temperature was lower than in the 21st century, it was bearable. “We’re almost there.” The guide had said we could travel by water near Ye, so Zhao Yun’s words were likely correct. The Zhang River flows through Ye, making it accessible by boat. However, it was against etiquette, so the group had to disembark and pass through the city gates on land. It seemed like unnecessary formality, but since we were using that formality to enter, it wasn’t entirely unreasonable. As the walls of Ye came into view, I felt that the long journey was coming to an end. At the same time, I noticed a group coming towards us from the city gates. “They seem to be coming towards us.” “Hmm, they must be coming to greet the delegation.” As Pang De said, we approached them casually, but as the distance closed, we grew increasingly confused. The extravagant carriage and the attendants’ attire. The excessive guard unit for a mere greeting. Everything pointed to one person. King of Wei, Cao Pi. Surely Cao Pi wouldn’t come out personally to greet a condolence delegation. Yet, the group’s demeanor and scale were unmistakably royal. In the midst of this cognitive dissonance, as we hesitated on how to proceed, they steadily closed the distance and finally stopped before us. “Are you the condolence delegation from Shu?” At the leading officer’s question, Zhao Yun stepped forward to answer. “Yes!” “Then dismount and prepare your respects! You are in the presence of His Majesty, the King of Wei!” Damn. It really was him. The members of the delegation on horseback all looked at me, asking what they should do. In wartime, it might be different, but now we were guests coming to them. Unless they crossed the line first, it was proper for us to show respect. I nodded and dismounted, stepping forward. “I am Chang-ran, the chief envoy of the condolence delegation, representing His Majesty, the King of Hanzhong.” “You are…” The Wei officer stared at me, then coughed and moved his horse aside. The guards followed suit, creating a path to the carriage. “Proceed. His Majesty is waiting for you.” I walked confidently through the Wei troops. Remembering my mother’s words, I held my head high as I approached the carriage. Under the shade of a grand parasol, a man in his thirties sat, dressed in splendid attire. Though not in full royal regalia, his identity was clear. Cao Pi. Our eyes met. “Hoh… Indeed. That Zaman fellow had a point.” His gaze was like a snake’s. A small snake slithering over skin—slimy and intense, licking my face. Seemingly satisfied, Cao Pi nodded and spoke to me. “Come up. I grant you the honor of riding in my carriage.” And to Cao Pi’s offer, I immediately replied, “I must decline.”