Chapter 75

“Older sister~!”

On a Sunday afternoon, as I lay on the sofa leisurely eating snacks after finishing my training, Yura came running to me.

I have no idea why she’s suddenly rushing toward me like that, or why she’s making such a panicked, sweaty expression out of nowhere.

So, what on earth is going on?

“…Older sister.”

“…What?”

“I, I… there’s blood coming from my butt…”

“Who told you to eat nothing but meat?”

“No, no! It came out in a bright crimson color!!”

Ugh… I’m eating snacks here, and you’re ruining my appetite with this butt talk, you brat…

But seriously, if it keeps happening, isn’t that hemorrhoids?

“Do you have hemorrhoids?”

“Y-yeah, I think so… Can you check for me…?”

“Ugh, seriously. Get lost, you idiot.”

“Ah~! Just check it for me~! I’m scared~!”

“Get lost.”

“Ouch! Why’d you hit me so hard?!”

You’re showing your butt in front of me while I’m eating snacks—of course, you’re gonna get hit.

Besides, if there’s blood, you should just go to the hospital…

Ugh, whatever.

My appetite’s already ruined.

“Go to the hospital.”

“No.”

“Why? Why not?”

“But… it’s embarrassing to show it…”

“Isn’t it embarrassing to show your butt in front of me?”

“Nope. Because you’re my cute older sister.”

“Get lost. Go to the hospital.”

That aside, hemorrhoids… I didn’t know because magical girls don’t get hemorrhoids.

No, actually, magical girls don’t get any of the diseases, illnesses, or syndromes that regular humans get.

So, hemorrhoids, the fate of bipedal humans, aren’t a problem for us.

Looking at it this way, being a magical girl is such a relief.

Hemorrhoid surgery is one thing, but I heard the recovery after leaving the hospital is hell… Phew~ What a relief.

“Anyway, hurry up and go. If you keep whining about being embarrassed and delaying, you’ll only hurt yourself.”

“…Okay.”

Well, she’s an adult, so she’s finally giving up and going.

It’s still daytime, so the hospital should be open, right?

Wait, it’s Sunday, so it’s probably closed.

Should I check? HangXX Surgery Clinic… Oh, this one’s open on Sundays too.

“Hey, go here.”

“HangXX Surgery Clinic?”

“Yeah. Hurry up.”

“Okay…”

Finally, she’s going.

I really don’t get why she’s making such a fuss.

Well, then, I’ll just drink some yogurt and finish my snacks…

“Rampage! Emergency dispatch!”

“…Again? Where to?”

“Chungcheong Province!”

Ugh, seriously… I have no choice.

Should I head out too?

…Wait, I could just check the coordinates and throw my staff there to solve it.

But it’s also important to go there myself, check on the kids, and reassure them…

……Transform.

◇

I went on the emergency dispatch, checked on the injured kids, and came back.

None of them were seriously hurt, so they recovered quickly with Chubby’s treatment.

By the way, two Earl-Class demons appearing together… That’s some bad luck.

Everyone in the countryside needs to grow stronger quickly to prevent things like this…

“I’m back~…”

“Oh, you’re back? What’d they say?”

“Stage 2 hemorrhoids…”

“So, are you getting surgery?”

“No? They said to take medicine, do sitz baths, and apply ointment.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Why is that a shame?!”

Ah~ If she needed surgery, I could’ve laughed at her suffering after the surgery.

Well, it’s still a relief that it can be resolved without surgery.

It’s a shame I can’t tease her, but what can you do?

“I’m back.”

“Did Ayun come?”

“Yes. Huh? Where did Yura unni go? What’s with the medicine?”

“……Actually…”

“Stage 2 hemorrhoids. She even got a sitz bath.”

“Ah~… So, she finally got it.”

“……”

Looking at Diamond Dust’s expression as she returned home, I could see she was holding back laughter.

If she bursts out laughing here, who knows what might happen, so she’s probably gritting her teeth and holding it in.

But she seems to have changed a bit, huh?

Maybe it’s because she’s been living comfortably under me?

“…Oh. But can you or unni get hemorrhoids? Are magical girls immune?”

“We don’t get that kind of thing. Even if we sit on the toilet for an hour every day, we’re fine. The Fairy Queen guaranteed it, so it’s certain.”

“Oh, oh… Then I can laugh without worry.”

“Exactly.”

“……”

Huh? Wow~ Yura’s expression is priceless.

A mix of envy and frustration… It’s so entertaining just to look at.

“…I’ll go do my sitz bath.”

“Sure.”

My appetite’s coming back, and the snacks are going down smoothly.

If I chug a beer here… Ah~.

After all, appetite is all about emotions.

“By the way, Ayun.”

“Yes?”

“Sorry to ask again, but how’s school life this time?”

“It’s really fun.”

“…Good.”

This time, she answered with a smile.

I don’t think I’ve been taking great care of her, but she’s recovered well on her own.

A relaxed and comfortable life really is the best medicine.

I’ve also felt brighter since I started living a more relaxed life.

“Sigh~…”

“Why are you sighing as soon as you come out?”

Yura sighed deeply as soon as she finished her sitz bath.

How much does she hate hemorrhoids to sigh like the world’s ending…

“I felt a sense of reality while applying the ointment…”

Ah~ I get it.

Tsk tsk… You should’ve taken better care of yourself.

“…Oh, I just thought of something I’m curious about.”

“What is it?”

“What about magical girls who transform normally and return to their original forms? What happens to them?”

“Them? …When they transform back, they’re healed. It’s just how it works. But after retiring, they have to manage it themselves.”

“Even if they don’t end up like us, they still get a lot of benefits.”

“Exactly.”

“Ugh~! I should’ve become a magical girl~!”

“Tsk tsk.”

But even if she had become a magical girl, she probably would’ve gotten hemorrhoids around the same time.

I looked it up, and it’s not just about posture or anything—it can happen suddenly from a moment of constipation… It just hits you out of nowhere.

Well, it’s not like Diamond Dust and I have to worry about it~.

“Alright, then let’s have a stimulating, greasy dinner tonight for Yura, who has hemorrhoids. Got it, Chubby?”

“Yes! …Huh?”

“Wait! Are you trying to make my hemorrhoids worse?!”

“Yep. It’s more fun that way.”

“Ugh!! Stop!!”

Hmm… Should I stop teasing her at this point?

She’s about to seriously lose it.

Even so, making her cry is a bit much, right?

…Huh? Wait… Now that I think about it, is that possible?

If I use Recovery Magic, one of the fairy magics, wouldn’t it heal her instantly?

It wouldn’t hurt to check.

Because Recovery Magic isn’t just about healing wounds—it can interfere with the body to fix all sorts of things.

Though knowledge and such are still important.

“…Hey, Chubby.”

“Yes!”

“…Can Recovery Magic heal her hemorrhoids?”

“Of course? There’s nothing it can’t do. It can even cure things humans can’t touch, like diabetes or AIDS. It can restore functions completely.”

Wow… Recovery Magic is way more powerful than I thought.

So if her condition worsens to the point of needing surgery, using Recovery Magic wouldn’t be a bad idea.

After all, she’s family, and I don’t want her to suffer through surgery pain.

“…Don’t worry about it too much.”

“…? What do you mean, unni?”

“Don’t stress over hemorrhoids. If it gets worse, let me know. I’ll figure something out.”

“Huh? Huh…? Oh, are you saying you’ll fix it with magical girl magic?!”

“Nope.”

“Then what~! You got my hopes up for nothing~!”

Of course, I’m not the one doing it.

Even though I’ve reached a level where I can fix things with Recovery Magic, curing diseases is delicate work, and it’s a hassle.

Well, hemorrhoids probably aren’t that difficult, though.

“Who said I’d do it? The master of Recovery Magic is right next to you, flying around.”

“Huh? Who?”

“Turn your head.”

“…Oh. You mean Meriol?!”

“Bingo. When it comes to Recovery Magic, he’s way better than me. He’s a veteran mascot, after all.”

“Then fix it right now!!”

“Nope.”

“Why not?!”

“Because it’s treatable with sitz baths and medicine. If it gets worse later, then we’ll do it.”

“Ugh, why~!”

Sigh… By the way, she really doesn’t care about others’ opinions at times like this.

Diamond Dust is sitting there munching on snacks and watching, and she’s still acting like this…

Yet she’s so embarrassed to show her butt to a doctor at the hospital?

“You need to learn to live like a proper person. What are you going to do when I’m not around?”

“When you’re not around…? I can’t imagine it. You’ll still look the same even when I’m old and dying, right?”

“…That’s true, isn’t it?”

“But why~!”

“Well… I’m planning to invade the Demon Realm later. What if something happens and I can’t come back?”

“Ah…”

I’m the top combatant of the Fairy Realm, Yura…

I’d like to take care of you until you can manage on your own, but there’s a chance I might not be able to.

So, don’t rely on me for everything.

“And you’re an adult. If you can’t take care of yourself, what’s the point?”

“Eh~ That’s…”

“Why do you think I told you to work at the company until you get severance pay? Huh?”

“……”

“…I’m not scolding you, so don’t get so down. I’ll help you if it gets really serious, but otherwise, just live normally. Got it?”

“…Okay.”

Seriously, what’s with hemorrhoids making me scold her like a child?

Well, since we’re here, should I pat her head like old times?

Diamond Dust is still watching from the side, but… it’s fine.

“Ah, wait, why are you patting me all of a sudden?!”

“I remembered when you were little.”

“But Ayun’s watching…”

“You didn’t care about Ayun when you were throwing a tantrum earlier, so why bring it up now?”

“Ah.”

Well, Diamond Dust probably isn’t thinking anything while watching this.

I’ve had this experience a few times, and I just watched while eating snacks without a care.

I didn’t understand what was going on or what was being shown—it was like watching a movie that was just playing in the background…

Anyway, it’s kind of like that.

By the way, I’m a bit worried about when to invade the Demon Realm.

I’ll need at least 3 to 5 years of training.

Even though my growth rate has slowed down… No, even if I train there for 5 years, it’s like training for about 304 years at 24 hours a day.

That might give me a decent chance, but my opponent has lived for hundreds of years.

And they’ve gained power through abnormal means.

Five years might not be enough.

So, I need to find an abnormal growth method too…

…It’s probably that.

……’Child of Heo.’

‘Child of Heo’… I still don’t get it.

I think the Fairy Queen will tell me when the time comes, but I still don’t understand.

The Fairy Queen is great, but she’s too secretive and stingy with information.

“Diamond Dust~!”

“Katanu? What’s up?”

“The research lab wants you to come for a bit! They want to run some tests!”

“Really? …Unni, is it okay if I go?”

“Do whatever you want. As long as you’re not doing anything weird, it’s fine to get tested.”

“Then, I’ll be back.”

“Sure. Be back before dinner.”

“Okay~.”

Hmm… The atmosphere suddenly feels awkward.

…Should I crack open another beer?

No, that’s a bit much… I’ll just eat more snacks.

Ah~ All this fuss over hemorrhoids has really messed up the mood…

Am I being too much of a nag?

Well, it’s Yura’s fault for making a big deal out of getting hemorrhoids.

It’s not my fault!