Chapter 73

Sure, here’s the translated text in English using first-person point of view:

—

Let’s turn back time just a little bit.

It was getting close to a late hour, yet Asulin sat on the edge of the bed, her face filled with sorrow. Today, I mustered up the courage to tell Andyminon that I wanted to spend the night with him, but once again, his polite refusal left me powerless and filled with loneliness from his absence.

This feeling of helplessness and loneliness seemed like it might continue indefinitely, and at that moment…

“…Huuu…”

Uncontrollable sobs escaped from Asulin’s lips. Initially, she tried to suppress them, but eventually, she gave up and let the sobs flow freely.

I didn’t want to stop them because if I did, and we met Andyminon later, I might cry even more pitifully in front of him, making him feel even further away from me.

“Huuuu… Huuu…”

Asulin poured out all the pent-up emotions through these sobs.

Just for a moment, just a little while, let me stay like this. Let me release all the sadness I felt when he wasn’t here by using these tears.

And starting tomorrow, I will gather my strength again. I’ll make him look at me without avoiding me.

Even while sobbing, Asulin encouraged herself to face a better tomorrow, holding onto the hope that with effort, they could meet again despite the dwindling moments.

Perhaps because she didn’t give up on hope, her wish came true faster than expected.

“…Asulin?”

Her sobs had loosened her body’s tension, and she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice someone approaching until a gentle voice she longed to hear spoke her name.

It was filled with concern, a kindness that would never be forgotten, but…

“…Andy?”

Asulin was surprised, grateful, and confused all at once when she realized Andyminon had returned sooner than she expected.

All her efforts to always appear beautiful or helpful in front of him suddenly seemed useless.

So, instead of saying what she truly wanted to say,

“…When…when did you start…seeing me like this?”

She ended up asking when he started seeing her in such an unattractive light.

Afterwards, she felt deep regret, but there was no turning back. If she wanted to show only her best side to the person she loved, she had to ask him where he first saw her in this unappealing state.

She wished that all he saw was her sniffling and not her crying uncontrollably, but Andyminon, with worry still in his expression, had already seen everything since he knocked on the door and heard her sobs.

“…”

Asulin trembled with shame, wishing she could hide somewhere. She even thought about covering her face with a pillow when sleeping, or perhaps knocking Andyminon unconscious to erase the memory of her recent disgrace.

“…I called out to you, but you kept crying, so I was wondering how to help. Finally, you regained your senses, and the difficult situation was resolved.”

Seeing Andyminon’s relieved smile after his last sentence, Asulin realized that all her previous worries were foolish.

Although she no longer wanted to appear perfect to him, seeing his relieved smile as he worried about her made her feel a small satisfaction, enough to alleviate the disappointment of breaking her efforts to always seem perfect.

Despite her confusion, she managed to respond calmly,

“…Yeah.”

But the panic that rose inside her couldn’t be completely contained.

Oddly, despite her desire to look him in the eye, her gaze wandered. Just moments ago, all she could think about was spending time with him, but now, unable to fully control her panic, she couldn’t properly look at Andyminon.

It felt like the faint sobs that had just calmed down would start again.

“…Beautiful.”

Suddenly, Andyminon’s warm voice wrapped around her ear.

“…W-what?!”

Not only did she stutter, but she also questioned if she had heard correctly.

“…R-really…really…beautiful?”

She tried to confirm if she had heard him right.

“Yes, really beautiful,” Andyminon replied without hesitation.

Asulin felt a warmth spreading across her face, replacing the distortion caused by her sobs.

Though others often praised her beauty, she had rarely heard such compliments directly from anyone other than her parents. Her focus on her sword talent, which people said was a gift from heaven, left her indifferent to her appearance.

Even hearing a simple compliment about her looks made her blush, partly because of the pressure that came with the title “Sword Demon.”

However, hearing such praise from the person she cherished deeply made her heart swell with joy.

“…I’ve never heard it before. Not from anyone other than my parents.”

So, Asulin smiled bashfully at Andyminon after her disjointed words.

It was strange; even though she had cried and laughed in front of him, the fact that she could end up laughing after crying made her feel relieved.

The anxiety she felt whenever she encountered Andyminon, who avoided her every night, seemed to wash away instantly.

In that moment of relief, she began to recall the honest apology she planned to make to him about a few days ago, when she had drunk and lost all memory of the incident.

Even though Andyminon looked surprised at first, he quickly regained his composure and calmly recounted what happened that day.

When he pulled her close to explain what happened that evening, she felt a sense of ecstasy mixed with embarrassment.

She understood why Andyminon had avoided her after that day, and at that moment, she felt a longing she had never experienced before.

Driven by this thirst, Asulin pressed her lips against his, seeking the first taste of ecstasy from him.

Though it wasn’t a passionate kiss involving tongues, the intensity of affection radiating from their embrace spoke volumes.

Asulin felt incredibly happy, yet she also felt a pang of sadness knowing their lips would soon part and a twinge of guilt for taking the initiative.

But as she gently brushed Andyminon’s hair, the guilt she felt began to fade, allowing her to simply enjoy the sweetness of the moment.

Although the time they spent together was brief compared to their shared history, this fleeting moment felt eternal.

—

Eventually, Asulin’s lips met mine, and the moment finally came to an end.

“…”

Her eyes slowly opened as she pulled away from my lips, leaving a lingering sense of loss.

It was similar to the other night, a sudden and impulsive moment, but now, the loss wasn’t just the soft, moist sensation of her lips.

It was more about the feeling of losing something precious, which I reluctantly accepted.

This feeling wasn’t unique to me.

“…”

As Asulin pulled away, her expression clearly showed her mix of happiness, sadness, and regret.

I felt slightly puzzled by her rapidly changing emotions, but then she spoke.

“…When your lips parted, I felt so sad…”

Watching her express her feelings with a hint of regret, I reached out and stroked her hair again, the same way I had earlier.

“…I was the one who initiated it…”

As Asulin tried to apologize, her face flushed red.

“…In truth, even if I don’t remember, the root of the problem was my actions under the influence of alcohol. I disturbed your peaceful sleep, and I’m sorry.”

Her voice was barely audible, like an ant crawling.

I didn’t particularly want to hear an apology, nor did I want to see Asulin’s timid self.

Even though she spoke in her sleep, her voice saying she liked me still echoed in my ears, and I wanted to express my feelings honestly, but circumstances prevented me.

So, I responded softly, meeting her gaze.

“…It’s okay… I wasn’t displeased, even though I was surprised.”

My honesty revealed itself further.

Seeing her wide, uncertain eyes, I felt her presence more intensely than ever.

“…Did you mean what you just said?”

Her voice, filled with warmth, asked me if I was sincere.

“…From the moment I first met you, I’ve never felt anything but fondness. It’s just that I couldn’t properly convey that my feelings have grown over time, and I’m sorry for that…”

With a light cough, I cleared my throat.

“…I love you. Truly. Even though the order is reversed, I don’t think my feelings will change.”

I expressed my heartfelt feelings to Asulin plainly.

Asulin hugged me tightly, her arms around me.

“…I love you too.”

She finally said what I had longed to hear.

I gently stroked her head, cherishing the moment, knowing that once I let go, I might never hold her again.

Her softness and warmth filled me, and I continued to stroke her head until her grip on me loosened.

“…I want to do this every day…”

She expressed her tenderness and earnestness as she drifted off to sleep.

Carefully, I laid her down, and she rested her head on my shoulder.

The sound of her breathing, like a lullaby, filled the room as I realized the late hour.

“…It’s a deep night…”

That was the usual time I closed my eyes to sleep.

But tonight, I planned to change the routine.

First, I carefully laid Asulin down on the bed.

Then, I gently placed her in my embrace.

“…Sleep well…”

I whispered the same farewell I always gave her when she fell asleep.

Regardless of the order, it didn’t matter much.

But somehow, I felt like I was the one wanting her embrace now.

If nothing else happens, I hope things remain this way.

With those wishes, I fell asleep.

Before I drifted off, the last thought that crossed my mind was the certainty that I wouldn’t have to face any nightmares anymore.

—