Chapter 71

I leaned my shoulder against the bed where Asulin was sleeping, her breathing steady and even. My sobs had gradually worn me out, and as soon as I regained some psychological stability, the tension in my body relaxed, letting me succumb to sleep on your shoulder.

It would have been simpler to lie down on the bed if I felt sleepy, but to fall asleep with my head resting on your shoulder like this…

If I twisted my posture, my neck would be stiff by morning. Thinking that far, I reached out to gently lay the sleeping Asulin on the bed, but…

The soft sound of Asulin’s rhythmic breathing drowned out any intention I had. Instead, it made my body rigid, guiding me to make Asulin’s uncomfortable sleep a bit more comfortable, even if just slightly.

Though there was an appropriate weight on my shoulder, causing some stiffness, seeing Asulin’s faint smile as she fell asleep was enough to make me realize that the stiffness wasn’t a problem at all.

There’s no other way; I’ll have to maintain this position a little longer until Asulin falls into a deeper sleep and then let her rest.

After sorting out my thoughts, I indulged in the warmth of Asulin’s head, which was resting heavily against me.

Compared to the warmth she always brought when she snuggled into my arms when it was time to sleep, the area was smaller, but after sharing true feelings, the warmth didn’t depend on the size of the area.

The feeling of warmth, once lost, is fully restored, making my heart feel at ease.

Explaining how this happened would take too long. I need to start from the moment I resolved myself after hearing Payload’s not-so-direct suggestion and headed towards the bedroom.

The calm thoughts in my mind recalled what had happened less than an hour ago.

—

Heavy. It was incredibly heavy. Never before had the walk to my bedroom, where I intended to end the day and sleep, felt so heavy.

Even though the incident seemed sudden, I knew its reason well enough not to stop despite the heavy steps. Even if I couldn’t reveal everything to the person I truly loved, I wanted to ensure that my presence wouldn’t make them struggle by being considerate.

To convey this quickly, I had to keep moving despite the heavy steps. Thoughts swirled in my mind as I walked.

Most of them were about how Asulin might react to my confession.

Surprisingly, positive imaginings didn’t come easily.

The best scenario was her politely refusing my confession, while the worst involved her scoffing and criticizing me for overstepping bounds.

Despite the vivid memory of her saying she loved me while asleep and her kindness, my negative thoughts overshadowed these facts.

With each step, negativity filled my mind, making me wonder why I was thinking such foolish things.

Yet, somewhere deep inside, a voice urged me to accept reality and stop thinking foolishly. But I silenced that voice coldly and firmly, continuing my steps resolutely towards the bedroom.

Yes, Asulin could react that way. Perhaps I’m overthinking her mild interest, or maybe I’m afraid of knowing her true feelings and thus am content with the status quo.

But relying on uncertain feelings and staying silent isn’t right.

When I was nothing but a nobody, wandering the backstreets aimlessly.

When I was forced into a hellish situation by my father, used as a tool.

And even when I had the chance to live freely alone, my conscience always urged me not to give up and to continue.

No matter how much or how little I could convey, I should never stop trying to make the other person feel secure.

Driven by this sense of duty, I found myself standing at the entrance to the bedroom.

—

“Huuu…”

For the first time since entering the Duke’s Residence, I took a deep breath, one I was proud to call the deepest.

—

Knock-knock.

—

“I’m coming in.”

I knocked on the door and informed Asulin, who was inside, that I was entering.

Whenever I returned late and she hadn’t fallen asleep, I always knocked and waited for her to say “come in.” Normally, I’d expect a response, but…

—

…

—

There was no reply from beyond the door.

…

What’s going on? It’s not that late, so has Asulin already fallen asleep?

The dim light from the window in the bedroom showed that she wasn’t asleep yet. There’s no way she would have turned off the lights and gone to sleep during the short time I was inside the Duke’s Residence…

Should I knock again?

But before I could decide, something happened beyond the door.

—

H… Hwak!

—

The unmistakable sound of Asulin crying softly reached my ears.

—

“Asulin!”

I immediately called her name and, forgetting etiquette, opened the door and rushed in.

Thinking back, the hesitation I felt earlier seemed foolish.

—

U… Uuu…

—

As I entered, I saw Asulin crying with a sorrowful expression, oblivious to my presence. Seeing her like this, I felt like scolding myself for hesitating outside the room.

It was surprising how light my steps became, almost faster than anything I’ve experienced, despite the heaviness of the journey here.

Normally, someone crying like this would notice my presence and stop, but…

—

Hu… Huuu…

—

Seeing her still crying with her head bowed, I was at a loss for what to do next.

It was overwhelming to see someone I care deeply about cry, especially someone who mattered so much to me.

Even though I possess abilities defined by countless adjectives, the thought of not being able to comfort someone crying weighed heavily on me.

—

“…Andy?”

—

As Asulin stopped crying and looked up at me, her face, which had been flushed, began to cool down.

—

“Asulin…”

—

My voice naturally carried a sense of relief.

Just hearing her crying stop was enough to make me feel relieved.

—

“Wh… Wha… What?”

—

She asked me when I started crying and how long I had been watching.

—

“Wh… When did you start noticing?”

—

Her face, still flushed, sought an answer from me.

—

“No… No…”

—

I realized too late that I had blurted out what I was thinking.

—

“Knocking didn’t get a response, so I tried knocking again, but heard you crying. Without thinking, I entered, and saw you crying with your head bowed. When I called out, you kept crying, and only when you regained your composure did the situation resolve.”

—

I recounted the events straightforwardly, without embellishment.

—

“…I see.”

—

Her face, previously flushed, now calmed down, though she still felt embarrassed and avoided eye contact.

—

“It’s fine. Compared to the feeling of my heart sinking every time I heard your crying, this calmness is much better.”

—

Reflecting on that, I felt I could look at Asulin directly under the bedroom’s gentle lighting.

—

“You’re beautiful…”

—

Under the gentle lighting, Asulin looked beautiful. Her blue hair, evoking the cold winter of the north, had a soft luster that radiated warmth rather than coldness. Her emerald eyes, which blinked calmly, always brought peace to my heart.

—

“What?!”

—

Seeing her flustered, even in that state, made me feel better.

—

“…Am I really beautiful?”

—

Realizing what I said, I wished I could slap myself.

—

“…Yes. You’re really beautiful.”

—

Seeing her flush deepen, I felt reassured that my words weren’t misplaced.

—

“…I’ve never heard anyone other than my parents tell me I’m beautiful.”

—

Seeing her smile again, I realized that even this pause wasn’t entirely bad.

—

After all, the decision to train hastily and return early wasn’t regretted, so today’s experience was worthwhile.