Chapter 68

After completing the supply support, I moved to the Association in the vehicle. Erica, seeming either sulky or angry, occasionally ignored my attempts at conversation, leaving me feeling down.

It was an inappropriate emotion, but I was also somewhat pleased. My heart raced at the sight of Erica’s cold demeanor.

Taking this opportunity to observe Erica a bit more voyeuristically, I kept sending laser-like gazes from the seat next to her.

“How can you be so pretty even from the side?”

“Shut up.”

Normally, her cheeks would redden, but this time she seemed quite upset, keeping her eyes closed without even turning her head.

“I’ve said it many times.”

I raised my finger again. At the end of it was Erica.

“I have no intention of listening to you.”

“Oh, I see.”

“There are really a lot of words I could spill right now.”

“Wow, impressive.”

Despite that, her expression remained unchanged. There was no emotion in her voice.

The vehicle stopped. Watching the unspoken return to the Association, I turned on my heel and walked the other way.

It was nighttime.

The buildings that had been destroyed since the Spirit World invasion and the desolate open spaces were nearing the end of the restoration process. Important facilities had long since returned to their original state, and several cranes were parked next to shops that seemed to be nearing completion.

It was quiet. People were still absent. Yet in the past, I used to see a few on the streets.

I looked around. I saw the cake shop I had visited with Erica. I had heard it was the first place restored, as it was run by an acquaintance of someone from the Association.

After walking a little further, I saw a café. It was also a place Erica and I often went to.

The lights were off. I couldn’t see inside. Shards of broken glass were scattered around. A partially broken door hung limply from its hinges.

I gently opened the door and stepped inside.

A faint noise was heard. After spitting out some blood, I moved further.

“Ah… shit. There’s nothing to steal.”

A figure cast in darkness was reflected in the shadows. A masked man was holding a knife.

I stepped forward. As the sound of glass shards crunching softly echoed, the man jerked his head around.

“What! Who are you!”

Ignoring him and lowering my gaze, I saw a man curled up, clutching his head. From the uniform, he seemed to be a staff member.

I felt irritation bubbling up.

I took a breath. I was disheveled. A voice laced with emotion escaped my lips.

“This is the sanctuary of my love.”

“W-What?”

“Don’t interfere with my love.”

I took out my knife. Swinging it diagonally, a blood-red arc flashed. The dark interior brightened for an instant, and the man’s pupils were visible.

A scream erupted. Smoke began to rise from the torn chest of the man, starting to corrode.

“Ugh, ah.”

I gleamed the blade. I slashed at the man’s abdomen as he stepped back. A liquid mixed with blood and other fluids gushed out weakly.

The lacking sanity dictated my actions. My hand stopped. I kicked him in the abdomen. The man slammed against the wall.

“Does it hurt? Is your vision all twisted? Confusing, isn’t it? You merely attacked a shop that looks like everyone else’s.”

The man let out a cry and focused on his breathing. The man next to him trembled for a moment before lowering his hands and crawling on the floor, leaving a trail of blood from his wounded legs.

“I just happened to see a person and made his leg crippled and struck his skull. You ran into me.”

The predetermined course arrived like that. Darkness descended unprepared. It engulfed the world, tearing apart the self.

“Shit! Why! What did I do wrong? You’re a criminal too! Just like me!”

“That’s right! I’m a bad girl too! Number one ranked Awakened One on the wanted list!”

That’s why I dreamed of a glorious death. I wished to crumble in a world that had crumbled.

“I knew it well! I knew I was just being trampled! I knew how powerless I was! Just like you! Just like me!”

The knife pierced the man’s heart. A violent groan signaled his end.

“But that’s wrong. It’s scary. Standing alone in a dark alley is painful. What should I believe in and chase after? I don’t even know if the path I chose is the right one.”

I killed another person.

I exhaled. The tangled blood splattered on the floor.

[ Calm down. ]

“I could have sent him off cleanly.”

[ I know. You can stop thinking about it. ]

“I can’t breathe. I’m tired.”

[ You still did well. You’ve done enough. ]

I dropped the knife. I collapsed onto a chair. The sweat trickling down my body heightened my senses.

“I don’t want Erica to find out.”

I stared blankly into the void.

“Who would like someone like me? Who would love me? Ah. I shouldn’t be thinking this.”

[ Isn’t there that girl? ]

“I don’t think so.”

What if everything was just an act? The Director, Erica… perhaps every being that spoke to me.

“The reddening cheeks, the occasional kindness shown to me. Was it all just to placate me?”

[ Orly. ]

“Yes! Exactly! It’s all a lie! Those bad girls! I knew it all along!”

[ ………… ]

In a corner of my sight, I saw a spirit quietly sitting at a table.

“You, you feel the same way, right? You don’t like me being like this?”

[ No, Orly. ]

“You saw it. Right? Just now, I killed a person.”

[ Compared to the past, you have come so far. You’ve done well. You’ve grown. ]

I continued staring at the dark ceiling. A wave of disgust crashed down on my mind.

“But what does it matter? Once again, I’ve become a fugitive, killing people, being chased again.”

The world is still dark.

But I know.

I can’t throw a tantrum forever. Time flows and more pain continuously seeks me out. The walls I face become ever more imposing.

I can’t cry in agony each time. I must step forward, even if it’s forced.

[ I’ve watched over you for four years. We’ve had our time together. Even when the world is so dark, haven’t you been searching for meaning in life? Realizing love, dreaming of a cozy daily life, and tirelessly pursuing happiness, you are a precious child. ]

“Y-Yeah. I am, I am precious. H-hic.”

[ That’s right. You are a beautiful, good child. ]

I stood up.

With unsteady steps, I approached the man huddled in the corner, pushing past tables and chairs.

“Are you okay? You did well. It must have been scary.”

I roughly grabbed his hair and lifted his face. His eyes, filled with fear, met my gaze.

“I’m a good, good person. I’ll help you. What can I do for you?”

Silence ensued.

[ Orly. ]

“Answer me! I’m asking you right now!”

My urgent voice pierced his ears.

[ It seems unnecessary. He appears unharmed. Let’s head home for now. ]

“I’m a good child, right? I should help you, shouldn’t I?”

[ He seems to be a bit embarrassed. Showing consideration during times like this is a model of a good child, wouldn’t you agree? ]

“Is that so?”

[ Yes. So calm down. Let’s slowly recall the breathing methods I taught you. ]

What I am does not need breathing.

I stepped back, turned on the faucet, and washed my face roughly.

The sound of glass breaking was heard. The sound of footsteps grew louder.

“Oh my.”

The lab coat shimmered faintly. Green hair danced around.

“Greetings, Orly.”

“Oh, hello.”

Zhukyl glanced at me briefly before smiling softly.

Should I kill him?

“I was on my way to the Association, but I felt a familiar scent and stopped by only to find you here.”

I roughly pushed a chair aside. Zhukyl flinched and sat down in a proper manner.

“Thank you. You really are considerate.”

“A good and precious child ought to do this.”

Zhukyl blinked his eyes.

“There’s no need to act.”

“What do you mean?”

“Uh, well. You don’t need to put on anything that doesn’t suit you, Orly.”

In my line of sight, the cold, lifeless body of a man passed by.

“The strong of the times need not maintain sanity. Accepting it will make things easier.”

Zhukyl drew a dagger that crackled with energy. The corpse lifted into the air.

“For example, the wicked. Like most top rankers. And you, Orly.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. So there’s no need for patience. It’s hard for you, right?”

The dagger sliced diagonally across the corpse’s chest. Blood splattered, and a cube formed.

The cube was placed on the table. It gleamed in red.

“It’s such a waste to rot such tremendous power that can control others. We must show a lesson to those who oppose us.”

The dagger twirled and landed on the table.

“To those who ignore us, breathing heavily in fear.”

The green eyes glimmered gracefully. I was about to mess with my hair when…

A gravestone fell. Fog swept through the room. Skeletons arose, enveloped in a sinister aura.

A massive shovel swept the fog aside. Silver hair flowed.

“Here you are, Orly.”

“Oh my.”

“Ugh. Why is she here again?”

“You’ve been stalking me, haven’t you? Hehe. You’re such a shy one.”

“Shut up, crazy girl. It’s annoying when you talk.”

The Reaver clutched at his forehead then turned his gaze toward me.

“Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine.”

“You must be blabbering nonsense again, Zhukyl. Just ignore her. A girl who has ruined herself with betrayal doesn’t deserve a voice.”

Zhukyl puffed out his cheeks. The Reaver swung the shovel. Zhukyl stepped back.

“Ah!”

“Don’t even think about plotting something again. The one who truly ruins the world is you. You’re the only one who sees painting the streets with corpses as a noble act in the hierarchy of the food chain.”

“That’s because the Reaver doesn’t understand.”

Zhukyl smiled subtly.

“Our anger.”

“Stop it.”

I exhaled. There was too much dust, and it was hard to breathe.

“I’m just happy that you guys are speaking to me. I’ve always dreamed of spending time with someone. Especially with acquaintances. So please don’t fight.”

In the past, everyone was busy, and the world was tumultuous, so it was hard to do that.

“I understand you, Zhukyl. Just looking into your green eyes makes me feel an overwhelming tiredness.”

I wanted to say more but held back. It was my own way of understanding.

“But for now, I’d like you to be quiet. I’m not feeling well.”

Silence fell.

“…I’m sorry for causing a commotion.”

Zhukyl smiled slightly.

The Reaver presented a magic scroll.

“This is the Behemoth summoning book you ordered.”

The blue text softly glowed. My mouth began to mechanically twist open.

“My mood has suddenly improved.”