Chapter 64 - Darkmtl
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Chapter 64

Early dawn.

Even though it’s summer, the morning air felt unusually cold. Or perhaps it feels cold because we know the heat of summer days.

Just like how everything about Mother felt cold after I learned the truth. This morning air probably isn’t much different. It was always cold, but knowing its opposite might make it feel even colder.

But now, such things hold no meaning.

“Let’s go, Kyle.”

“Is it really okay to leave so soon?”

“I’ve bought gifts, and there’s no need to delay any longer. I’ve said my goodbyes to my friends, and Camilla will follow soon.”

“Even so, wouldn’t it be better to enjoy the capital a bit more before heading to the countryside…”

“This capital is too cold.”

“But even at dawn, it’s still summer, so it’s not that cold.”

I don’t know. The season might be like that, but it felt like my flesh was freezing. My chest felt icy, and my whole body seemed to shiver. I was always afraid of freezing to death in that cold.

That’s why I defined this capital as cold. Concepts bound by time like seasons didn’t matter to me. I wouldn’t give a moment’s thought to definitions made by time, which isn’t on my side.

If I say it’s cold, then it’s cold. If I say it’s hot, then it’s hot. At least for this place, I’ll say so. I won’t follow the definitions of those who aren’t on my side.

I’ll live like that now. I’ll decide the direction of my remaining life.

“No. The capital is a cold place. Because I said so.”

“…It’s a harsh winter.”

We rode the horses provided by His Majesty, cutting through the cold morning air, heading towards the sunlight.

I won’t shiver under the blanket of futile delusions again. I won’t lock myself in a cold room and cry. All I need to do is leave that room.

There’s no need to sit in the corner of a dark room when there’s a window with sunlight.

“Let’s go. Towards the window.”

Looking back, I saw the wife of the former Count watching me.

She seemed hesitant to stop me, but I didn’t pull the reins. I won’t hesitate anymore.

And she’s no longer a reason for me to stop.

“Goodbye. You, who were the lock of my small, dark room… my dream-like figure.”

Doors that won’t open no matter how much you knock, doors that won’t open no matter how much you try, and the doors of the heart that will never open—all are goodbye.

Because I don’t need to open them anymore.

Truly, goodbye.

“Let’s pick up the pace.”

“Huh…?”

“I don’t want to return to that cold room again.”

They say children are born from their parents’ pain.

Then we are not parent and child. Because we caused each other pain.

I can proudly say I’ve fulfilled my duty as much as the pain that person gave me. That person might think differently, but I won’t follow such opinions anymore.

“We’ve been riding all day. Shouldn’t we rest soon, Raul?”

“It’s still cold. Let’s keep going.”

“Why not just take a carriage? Why go through all this trouble?”

“Imagine two grown men facing each other in a bumpy carriage.”

“Wow, that’s disgusting. So, you do dislike men?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’ve never married, so I thought your sexual preference was…”

I pulled out my cane and jabbed Kyle in the solar plexus.

“ARGHHH! Your Majesty! Her Majesty the Empress! Lady Camilla! Lord Raul!”

“The last one is the one who stabbed you.”

“But it’s true you’ve never been in a relationship!”

“…I’ve been close.”

“I’m talking about relationships that go all the way to the bed! Not just sleeping together, but actual union!”

“I’ve done that too. Not by my own will, but it happened.”

It’s not something to boast about, but it wasn’t my fault either.

It’s just that the Dragon Queen had very peculiar tastes, and I happened to fit those tastes, and at that time, I was weaker than her.

“And getting married would just be a nuisance.”

“…Lord Raul.”

“Even so… if people accept me as I am.”

If such a short happiness is allowed to me…

“Someone like Camilla would be good. If I were to wander the world with someone, she’d be the right fit. Her actions bring me joy.”

Her actions are something I can’t predict, close to the unknown.

That’s why it’s fun to watch. Unlike pathetic me, she has a fearless personality. She breaks what’s in her way and destroys those who insult her. That fiery temperament was different from mine, so I admired it a little.

Because it was different, it was fun. Because it was different, I admired it. It was different from Layla, who was fun and loved because we were the same.

But both are women too good for me.

“If Camilla heard this, she’d either blush or… more likely, she’d turn her spear red while calling it nonsense. I’d bet on the latter.”

“…I wasn’t trying to talk nonsense. But currently, she’s the ideal partner I can imagine.”

“Why do you talk nonsense in front of her but say sweet things in front of others? What kind of twisted illness is that? Honestly, it feels like parents applying for love counseling, and it’s creepy.”

“Don’t make a grown son out of people who haven’t even married yet.”

I wished they wouldn’t make a grown son out of us, who haven’t even married yet. One shock about family relationships is enough.

After days of such pointless chatter, a familiar mountain range came into view.

“Once we cross this mountain range and ride for about a day, we’ll reach that countryside, right?”

“Yes.”

“Once we pass that checkpoint and cross the mountain, just one day’s ride… Phew… Then we can have a cool bottle of rum.”

“I’m not too fond of cheap distilled liquor. Especially when drinking with men.”

“This guy acts all ascetic but secretly seems to like women…?”

Kyle said as he approached the checkpoint, handing over the toll and a fake ID. It was made by His Majesty, so there shouldn’t be any issues.

But the guards at the checkpoint looked indifferent.

“Sorry, you can’t pass. We have orders to turn back suspicious people.”

“…Can you explain why? We’ve paid the proper toll and have a certified ID.”

“Just turn back. Or prove you’re not suspicious. Your choice.”

Even I, dull as I am, understood the true meaning of the guard’s words.

In short, they wanted a bribe. They’re exploiting the fact that bypassing this checkpoint would mean a much longer detour.

“Hahaha…”

And Kyle lost his parents because of such corrupt soldiers. That’s why he’s known as the mad dog in the military police, thoroughly cracking down on corrupt officers.

“Alright. Let’s dig the well for the greedy.”

Kyle handed them a pouch full of silver coins with a chilling smile.

“Hahaha, that’s more like it. Classy people understand each other. Not like those beggars pleading to pass.”

“Yeah. Just yesterday, we had to chase away that woman and her kid begging to pass…”

“Considering the trouble, this is only fair.”

I started to see them as brave souls dancing in a rain of arrows without armor.

As the veins on Kyle’s forehead bulged, I too began to tense. An angry Kyle couldn’t be stopped, not even by Camilla.

“Lord Raul… Should we change clothes…? There are clothes in the luggage…”

I didn’t want to get hurt either, so I changed into the military uniform Kyle had packed.

And when the soldiers saw the military police’s eagle emblem, their pupils dilated.

I couldn’t think of anything but pity.

“Colonel Kyle Benson of the Imperial Military Police. Sorry for the delay in changing clothes… Should I pay the toll again?”

“Y-y-y-yes…”

Stammering or not, Kyle started patting their shoulders with a smile.

“Call all your superiors.”

“Huh…?”

“You didn’t do this alone… There must be others taking bribes.”

“W-we’re sorry…! We’ll return the money, just please don’t…!”

“No, no. Considering your hard work, this is only fair. Keep it. Just give some comfort money to others who are suffering. Why aren’t you calling them?”

It was truly in bad taste.

One soldier, terrified of the demon-like Kyle, approached me.

“Sir, please persuade him… At first, we just took a few coins from people without IDs under the pretext of an express fee, but we lost our minds…! When you’re at the bottom, you know how it is without money for drinks…! Even our salaries are eaten up by those above…!”

“What…?”

“You’re not his subordinate… Huh?”

Seeing the two stars shining on my shoulder, he fainted on the spot.


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The Terminally-Ill Lord Desires Hospice Care

The Terminally-Ill Lord Desires Hospice Care

Status: Completed

I am a mediocre person.

As a lord, as a knight, as a family member, let alone as a human being.

Therefore, I wanted to let go of everything that was too much for me and abruptly leave.

No one would want to stop me, nor could they.

I just wanted to breathe easily in a quiet place and disappear like that.

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