Chapter 64

“What if Anne can’t become an Inquisition Judge? She’s already a sickly child…”

“If that happens, it’s sad, but there’s nothing we can do.”

064

Existence (Part 2)

In the silence that felt like the world had stopped, I quietly gazed at the back of the assembly.

Before I knew it, François had stepped into the clearing among them and was looking down at me. He didn’t say a word, but the man who usually wore a mask of skillful smiles…

His face stiffened, then he gave an awkward smile. As if it were the first time in countless years.

“However.”

What efforts he made for me, what changed because of him—I’ll probably never know in my lifetime. And I don’t want to know.

You must know that it’s too late to change anything, that I can’t help but hate you in the end. Yet, why do you rush around to save me in this moment, while also giving me such an awkward smile?

The reason must be no different from the warmth pulsating in my belly and chest right now.

“The sinner carries life within her womb. The sins of the mother cannot be atoned for by an innocent soul.”

The verdict won’t be overturned. The destined fate won’t change.

“The execution will be postponed until after childbirth.”

But for a few months, I’ve gained time.

Short but precious, enough time to change something.

The hearing ended there. People left, exchanging opinions. Some were angry, some relieved, some skeptical, but no one dared to defy the authority of the Inquisition Temple. In fact, the overall sentiment was leaning toward favorable.

Yet, among them, there were clearly those who were furious with me and wished for my death. I felt their hostility from a distance, prickling and sharp, but I couldn’t say a word.

They don’t hate me because they’re evil. It’s because I’m evil, because I’m bad. The families and acquaintances of those who died because of me. They, too, must have had someone as precious to them as my Louis.

“……”

On the other hand, I saw François, swaying as if his strength had left him, and the other elders hurriedly supporting him. I still couldn’t accept the worry and relief in their gazes, but it no longer felt as unpleasant as before.

Perhaps I realized, in the midst of the intersection of love and hate, that you had no choice either.

I still can’t forgive you, but maybe I can stop hating you. Even if it’s too much now, with more time. When I’ve grown up enough.

“Follow me, sinner Anne.”

I obediently held out my hands, clinking with shackles and chains. The face of the temple soldier giving me the harsh command was stiff. His overly aggressive attitude was a defense mechanism to hide his fear.

It’s not that my display of power didn’t influence the postponement of the verdict. I had anticipated this outcome. What if the Inquisition Temple had sentenced me to death and I had lashed out?

So, they’ll wait until they have the means to suppress me. Until other superhumans return.

…Until I give birth, and even then, so I can’t act recklessly because of the child.

I didn’t want to think this far, so I tried to calm my heightened nerves. If my anxiety worsens, I might lose control and tear the shackles apart.

I can only believe. In the Inquisition Temple I’ve seen, ruthless and merciless to heretics but endlessly merciful and loving to non-heretics. I am human, after all.

And so is the child in my womb.

Following the path guided by the soldiers, I stepped backward into the sunlight-filled square and boarded the prisoner transport carriage once more.

*

The place I arrived at was neither the Reformatory nor the barracks where I originally stayed as an Inquisition Judge.

The Inquisition Temple is so vast that even after living there for nearly a decade, I didn’t know all its paths. This place was the same. It was in such a remote and secluded location that there was no reason to come here under normal circumstances.

I lay down inside a small building that could hardly be called a tower. The bedding inside was modest, as expected of the Inquisition Temple, but it was much better than that of the Reformatory.

“Pfft.”

I laughed at my own state. Despite being a prisoner, I was receiving luxurious treatment, almost unbelievable for a pregnant woman.

This is practically house arrest. I tried to calmly accept my situation, but my emotions, as if I’d regressed to adolescence, were hard to control. The moment I lay down on the bed, an overwhelming fatigue washed over me.

A body that doesn’t even lose its breath after running faster than words, standing still for a while, raising my voice a few times—there’s no way I should be tired.

I didn’t feel like moving a finger. No, could I even do anything else here? I just lay there, staring blankly at the ceiling. In my dazed state, I felt moisture on my cheek and snapped back to reality.

“……Ah.”

The world is a bit blurry. I absentmindedly touched my cheek and flinched at the coldness.

The tip of my finger glistened with salt. Oh. I’m crying.

The moment I realized, the dam I had filled with composure collapsed in an instant.

I promised not to cry anymore.

But since Louis broke his promise too, just once. It’s okay if I do it just once, right?

“Ugh……”

My mind was foggy from all the events. I had poured all my energy into running away and fighting against the immediate onslaught. After burning everything to ashes, the remnants fell like snow.

Crunch. When I stepped on the unseasonal winter, I realized I was in a snowy field. Without realizing it, I reached out and covered myself with the blanket, but I was still shivering.

I needed warmth. Not this piece of cloth, but human warmth.

“Louis.”

Like a fool, I kept repeating one name. As if calling and calling would make you come running. I knew it wouldn’t happen.

But if I didn’t say anything, I felt like I’d really go insane. So, I spoke to you, even though my words wouldn’t reach. Until my tongue was sore and my voice hoarse, endlessly.

“What if……there’s no child?”

The verdict wasn’t overturned, just postponed. If my belly doesn’t grow with time, I’ll be executed.

But that’s not what’s important. Even though I haven’t felt any signs of another life yet, as if I’ve already awakened to maternal love, just imagining it made my vision darken and my breath catch.

My child. Your child. Our child. If you’re truly a heretic, if I grant your request……the last trace of ‘you’ in this world.

The only proof that you existed, that we loved. I didn’t want to lose it. I had already decided in my heart to be a good mother, to give more love than I ever received.

No, even if I have the child.

Even if, by some miracle, all the problems are neatly resolved. If I’m not executed, you return as a heretic, the child is born healthy……could we really be happy?

Could we just brush off all that sin and pain and shamelessly wish for happiness?

“Ugh.”

The moment such thoughts raced through my mind, my vision flickered black and white, and I felt nauseous despite not having eaten properly. It wasn’t morning sickness but the reflux of stomach acid. I desperately held it back.

If I vomited now, it wouldn’t just be my ugliness. I held it back desperately. Not letting a single drop escape. So that the sorrow and despair I’ve been suppressing wouldn’t make me collapse.

As a sinner, I didn’t even have the right to grieve. If I cried, what about those who couldn’t cry because of me?

I absentmindedly touched my chest, but the emblem on my chest wasn’t a glorious golden cross but a humble silver one. Without any additional symbols, just one of the ordinary priestly robes. Representing my insignificant status.

The thorny path ahead is clear.

It’s uncertain whether I’ll reach the desired destination at the end of this ordeal, or if one wrong step will send me plummeting off a cliff. Fear surged within me.

Yet, I swore. A worn-out oath repeated countless times.

Even if no one in the world listens, even if it doesn’t reach the person I most want to hear it, I’ll say it to myself. So I’ll never forget. Never.

“I’ll save you.”

You.

“I’ll protect.”

Our child.

Because that’s all I have left now.