Chapter 62

It was a terrible sensation. The feeling of bursting Layla’s heart seemed to linger at my fingertips.

A sensation so miserable that I wanted to cut off my hand. The vivid scene of that day, so haunting that I wanted to gouge out my eyes. Layla’s voice, so vivid that I wanted to burst my eardrums.

Perhaps because it was so painful, my eyes naturally opened.

“Are you awake, Raul?”

The first to greet me that day was Her Majesty the Empress.

It felt quite awkward to see her peeling an apple with a longsword, but I decided to let it pass.

“How long have I been asleep?”

“At least four days. We’ve been busy sorting out various matters during that time.”

“I see.”

“…Charles Argos, the acting Minister of War, has died.”

I was a bit shocked. I never thought that iron-blooded man would really die. He seemed like someone who wouldn’t bleed even if stabbed, so it was quite unexpected.

“What about Camilla…?”

“She says they weren’t close, but it must be hard for her.”

“…What about the position of Minister of War?”

“Master has returned and resumed his duties.”

“That man is as pathetic as ever.”

I said that while checking the condition of my arms and legs.

My body had recovered enough to move without much trouble. There was a slight creaking sensation, but as long as I could move, it was fine.

“I apologize. I should get up now. I’m also worried about Camilla.”

“Raul.”

Her Majesty put down the apple she was peeling and grabbed my wrist.

“It seems like war will break out again.”

“It will be a fight between wounded beasts. We have one injured person on our side… It’s my fault.”

“…It’s not your fault.”

Her Majesty was crying.

“Layla’s death… you becoming like this… it’s all my fault. What kind of military genius am I? Don’t talk nonsense… I couldn’t protect my comrades… I’m the worst fool…”

Indeed.

She had been holding back these tears all this time. She had been pretending to be strong, carrying the guilt of what happened to Layla and me.

It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t need to blame herself so much.

“Penelope. I’ve never resented you. Layla wouldn’t resent you either.”

We are bound by fate. We swore not to resent each other.

From the beginning, there was no resentment towards her. Without her, we would have all died meaninglessly at the hands of the demons.

Considering how many times she saved our lives, I could die for her three times. Of course, after that, I might give her a flick on the forehead.

“There’s no need to cry, no need to blame yourself, no need to feel guilty.”

“But… my misjudgment cost you half of your…”

It’s always like this.

Good people who have done nothing wrong to me apologize first.

Father… no, the former Count did that, Layla did that, and Penelope seemed to have joined their ranks.

“…Penelope.”

I grabbed Her Majesty’s shoulders.

It must have been painful. Struggling in guilt. I knew it well because I struggle every day.

“If you want me to forgive you, forgive yourself first. And… try to be happy.”

I knew. That she also loved His Majesty deep down. But for some reason, she kept her distance.

And only today did I understand why. She couldn’t hold someone else’s hand because she was suffering from guilt that wasn’t hers.

There was no need for that from the beginning.

“You need to see the heir who will inherit the country.”

“…Right. I’ll make sure you can see them.”

After the battle with the Demon King, my body is worn out. Will I be able to see that blessed child?

“I want to name them.”

“You haven’t even made one yet.”

“I’ll reserve it in advance since you’re planning to make one today.”

“Hahaha… That’s clever. I hope you’ll help feed the baby later. His Majesty has no sense, and I can’t trust others.”

“……..”

I silently stared at Her Majesty’s upper body.

Not saying anything was my last act of consideration, and Her Majesty seemed to notice it.

She picked up the longsword she was using to peel the apple, as if aware of my gaze.

“Raul?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Shall I cut it horizontally? Or vertically?”

“Vertically would be better. If it’s cut horizontally, it might look a bit grotesque and ridiculous.”

Of course, I said that, but I didn’t really think I’d be cut in two, so I ran away.

Her Majesty chased me in her wheelchair, and I managed to lose her by running up the stairs.

“Raul Berze!!! If I catch you today, I’ll stick a heated stake up your…!”

Her Majesty’s curses always gave me chills. Even dockworkers couldn’t curse as well as Her Majesty.

As I wandered around the 4th floor, a familiar smell hit my nose. The scent of white chrysanthemums and new clothes… and the unique, tingling aura that Camilla exuded.

Following that aura, I saw Camilla plucking white chrysanthemums in a side room. She didn’t notice me, but I could see her expression.

Gloom. Regret. Anger and sorrow. It was natural, given the death of her brother, with whom she had a good relationship despite their arguments. Plus, the pillar that supported the family was gone, so she must be confused.

“Camilla.”

I approached her, wanting to comfort her.

But how does one comfort someone? It was too difficult a topic for someone as dull as me. I could only blame my shallow experience of never having comforted anyone before.

Moreover, Camilla was biologically a woman. She must have a more delicate inner world than she appears. Hasty comfort would surely be poisonous.

Then what…

At that moment, I remembered how the former Count comforted me by patting my head. His hand was very large and warm.

That warmth was a small comfort to me in my childhood. Even though his wife tormented me, I could endure because of that warmth.

It seemed like a pretty effective method. Surely, Camilla could be comforted this way. I approached her to pat her head.

“Huh?”

But perhaps because my foot got caught on the carpet. Or maybe because my leg muscles had weakened from sleeping for a week. I stumbled and fell.

If I had just fallen, it would have been fine, but I ended up covering Camilla from behind. It was an accident caused by falling towards her.

“Raul…?”

“…Just so you know, this was an accident.”

“I know, so get up.”

Her fragrant scent and soft touch tempted me, but I was not a beast.

“Sorry. I should get up…”

But as they say, misfortunes never come alone. The guest who approached the side room wasn’t the end of it.

“Raul…?”

Kyle. My subordinate. Why he was here was beside the point, but he had just witnessed the accident between me and Camilla.

At a glance, it could be mistaken for a compromising position between a man and a woman.

“This is…”

Just as I was about to explain, Rizel’s voice came from behind.

“Kyle, you said you’d help me find my brother. What are you doing here? If you’re planning to slack off…”

I froze in panic.

If Rizel saw this scene, she would definitely misunderstand.

“Uh…”

Kyle glanced at me and Camilla, then struck Rizel’s neck with a hand blade, knocking her out in one go.

If it were the usual me, I would have cut off his hand for laying a hand on Rizel, but given the situation, I had no choice but to understand.

“I’ve actually been suffering from a condition where my eyes don’t see well for the past few days.”

Kyle said that and poured vodka directly into his eyes.

“See, Raul? My eyes are red and swollen, and my pupils are blurry.”

“No, this is just…”

“Countess Rizel Berze seems to have fainted due to anemia. I’ll take her away. Please continue whatever you were doing. I don’t know what it is.”

He wouldn’t go blind from that, but I missed the chance to explain the misunderstanding.

“Can you get off now? This position is kind of uncomfortable.”

I quickly got off her, and she adjusted her clothes while sighing.

“I thought you suddenly went into heat. What are you doing?”

“I was trying to comfort you but tripped.”

“That’s… if you trip twice, you might end up with a baby.”

Camilla said nonchalantly, brushing her hair back.

“If it’s about my brother, you don’t need to comfort me. We weren’t that close, and in our childhood, we just exchanged greetings.”

“…You still look a bit sad.”

“At least he wasn’t someone who deserved to die like this. Unlike me, who lives as I please, he lived for the country. He was someone this trashy country desperately needed.”

I agreed with that. He was passionate enough to take on tasks others should have done. Of course, that stemmed from his inability to trust others’ abilities and his workaholic tendencies.

Anyway, he was like a good brother to Camilla. Cleaning up the messes Camilla caused was also one of his main duties.

“Camilla.”

I wanted to break this gloomy atmosphere, so I forced a topic.

“If you had a child, what name would you give them?”

I wanted to ask for suggestions on what to name the future crown prince or princess who would inherit the country.

“What…?”

Camilla’s face started to turn red.

It was just a playful question about naming a child, so why did she blush like that?

As someone dull, I couldn’t understand.