Chapter 59

[Tina… Mom really can’t live without you…]

Actually, I had already regained consciousness.

The throbbing headache.

The aching body.

As my consciousness slowly rose to the surface, the pain in my body had long since seeped into my mind.

Even when I slit my wrist, I was half-convinced I wouldn’t die. I had done it a few times before. I knew where to cut to die and where to cut to feel enough pain to die.

Besides, being from a ducal family, there must be someone skilled in medicine. I avoided the fatal arteries and only shallowly cut the safer veins, expecting to receive treatment within an hour.

If my prediction was wrong… then I would have died.

But either way, I was still alive and well.

[Tina… Tina…]

My mind was fully awake.

But the reason I still kept my eyes closed and didn’t move was simple.

[Tina… Please wake up…]

My mother’s voice calling me was so desperate.

The sound of someone calling me was so sweet.

Because I wanted to feel that tickling sensation in my heart from her deep affection a little longer, I continued to pretend to be asleep.

Honestly, I wanted to open my eyes and go back to the baron’s estate with my mother, but I couldn’t let my guard down.

Previously, my mother had agreed to let Viviana take me to the Merdelia Ducal Family. I thought she must have been threatened by Viviana, but if she found out I was fine, she might leave me here again.

No matter how much wealth I could extract from this place, I didn’t want to stay with the maid who called me a whore and the people who were gradually growing tired of me.

I was an ugly monster who couldn’t live without someone’s affection, so this place was no different from hell for me.

So I ran past my mother to the mirror. I decided to show her directly how harmful this place was to me, so she wouldn’t want to leave me here anymore.

Talking to my childhood friend wouldn’t look sane in others’ eyes. Even my mother from a past life often felt disillusioned by my behavior.

“Ah, ah… Tina…”

As expected, my mother slumped to the floor with despair in her eyes. Her trembling blue eyes seemed unable to accept this situation.

She must think I’ve gone mad. My mother from a past life thought the same.

But I wasn’t mad. The clear evidence was staring at me from the mirror.

[Are you using me? I’m a bit hurt.]

A girl who looked just like me spoke from the mirror. The only difference was that the girl in the mirror had a dark black cross embedded in her blue eyes.

‘Can’t you just let it slide this once?’

[…Hmph, only because it’s you.]

I smiled brightly, gripping the hand I held through the mirror. My precious friend who was always by my side when I was struggling, lonely, or isolated. Thinking I had her back filled my heart with joy.

“Ti… na…”

My mother’s broken voice reached me. I turned my head away from the mirror and saw my mother looking at me with reddened eyes.

My heart melted at the pure and clear affection in my mother’s gaze. I wasn’t curious about why she was here. Just the fact that she was here was important.

“…Mother.”

“Ti, Tina…”

My mother rushed to me and pulled me into her embrace. Her soft chest cradled my face, and her warmth enveloped me.

Feeling my mother’s love after so long, I almost let out a weak moan.

“I… want to go home… It’s too hard…”

“Ye, yes… Let’s go home… Let’s go home and rest with Mom…”

Artasha frantically patted my back. Her movements to hug me tighter were filled with a desperate desire to comfort me.

‘…I’m sorry for troubling you, Mother.’

But you sent me here.

So it’s partly your fault too.

“Ti, Tina…!”

As I was held in my mother’s arms, the door burst open, and a familiar woman appeared.

Her long black hair framed her glowing purple eyes. Viviana looked much more haggard than the last time I saw her.

I don’t know.

Whether it was intentional or instinctive, my body started trembling like a leaf when I met Viviana’s eyes. My gaze automatically dropped to the ground, and my breathing gradually became ragged.

Feeling my obvious physical distress, my mother hugged me tighter, sharing her warmth with me.

“Ti, Tina. I have something to tell you.”

Viviana forced a smile. It was a weak and ambiguous smile, hard to look at. It didn’t suit her, who always exuded a high-class aura.

“…What is it?”

“I did it for you. Because you kept wearing a mask and dealing with me, I acted mean on purpose to bring out your true self.”

Like water endlessly flowing from a broken dam, Viviana continued to ramble with a lost look in her eyes.

“I could never get tired of you. Tina, you’re so lovely. I only said I was tired because I thought you’d show your true self when pushed psychologically… I didn’t mean it. Iris didn’t mean it either-.”

…Why?

This felt worse than when Mardian raped me.

She kept frantically explaining. But to me, it all sounded like excuses.

“Tina, so what I did was-”

“Lady Viviana.”

I couldn’t bear to listen anymore. When I interrupted, Viviana looked at me with a bewildered expression, waiting for my words.

I pondered what to say for a moment.

But in the end, I didn’t have much to say to her.

“Can I go home now?”

Viviana’s purple eyes flinched. Her lips twitched as if she wanted to stop me, but no words came out.

Could she really say no in this situation? Viviana, who had her own convictions, wouldn’t forcibly keep me here.

“Princess, I’ll take my daughter home.”

When my mother added her opinion with eyes full of deep disgust, Viviana had no choice but to bow her head.

“…But wouldn’t it be better to stay here until you’re fully recovered?”

“Our baron’s estate has excellent doctors. We appreciate your concern, but we’d prefer if you didn’t meddle in our affairs anymore.”

My mother’s words were cold and harsh. It was rare for her to show such sharp thorns to someone, so she must have grown to hate Viviana a lot because of this.

But despite my mother’s strong stance, Viviana still blocked the door.

Seeing her determined not to move, I calmed my trembling body and stood up.

My mother looked at me with a worried expression from behind, but I smiled reassuringly and approached Viviana.

“…Lady Viviana, you know I really liked you, right?”

Viviana’s purple eyes widened. A faint light seeped into her deeply sunken eyes.

I whispered into Viviana’s ear, softly enough that my mother couldn’t hear.

“You were… the first person to let me touch your butt…”

Of course, Mardian did worse, but that was forced, so it doesn’t count.

“And you were the first person I stayed with for so long.”

“Tina…”

“You were special to me… If… we could have spent a little more good time together, I might have really relied on you for everything.”

Viviana grabbed my hand. Her revived eyes held a faint hope that things could return to how they were before.

…Sorry, Viviana.

I can’t give you what you want.

“Tina, then-.”

“But… Lady Viviana, I don’t feel anything for you anymore.”

“…Huh?”

“Now… it’s just uncomfortable. The memories of the past only hurt me.”

I felt Viviana’s trembling through our clasped hands. The hope in her eyes had darkened. Her eyes, which had briefly lit up, were now lifeless. It was quite a sight, but it was time to end it.

“Lady Viviana… I don’t want to see you anymore. I’d rather… be with Lady Mardian.”

With my final words, all light left Viviana’s eyes.

My mother, who had approached, grabbed me and glared at Viviana.

Viviana weakly bowed her head and stepped aside.

I looked at Viviana’s lifeless eyes one last time and left the room with my mother without any regrets.

Goodbye, Viviana.

Our connection… ends here.