Chapter 58

Now… I push aside the remnants of the past that I must carry and examine Helena’s wounds with a cruel resolve.

It was a sheer torment to tear at clothes soaked with blood while relying on the headlights.

Or maybe… despite the gap that has opened, with my feeble strength, it was impossible to tear through the sturdy suppression gear.

“Ah…sha, I… really…”

“Shut up…! Just maintain consciousness and keep breathing!”

What does a critically injured person have to say? I calmed her down as she stuttered and tried to speak.

Though one can understand the depths of water, one cannot understand the human heart. I couldn’t fathom why she, as a victim, was voicing her guilt.

Her voice split uncharacteristically… the damp tone pricked at my heart, and it stung to think those decisions I believed were considerate had ultimately resulted in disaster.

But right now, there was something far more important than either Helena or my mental health.

That was… none other than Helena’s life.

“Uh…?!”

Even Helena was withholding a groan.

A sharp sound escaped from my lips as I confirmed the unusual amount of bleeding.

…If only she could just stay alive. As long as she clung to life, there were countless ways to save her with the medical technology available here.

Conversely… if she were to die before receiving treatment, leading to brain damage, that would be the end.

I learned while living in the city that Enema’s regenerative technology hasn’t even been commercialized for civilians and whether one could afford the costs remains uncertain.

In that sense, this amount of bleeding is dangerous. Since Helena isn’t built like Omen, if her lifeblood continues to drain like this, she might suffer from exsanguination or shock.

Fortunately, although I was treated as an in-house engineer, I remembered that the frontline personnel of the general combat police had basic medicine in their supply list.

She, who is like a living field manual, should naturally carry hemostatic agents or pressure bandages with her…

“Helena…! Sis! What happened to the hemostatic agents?!”

“Ahaha… Sorry, I already… used them…”

“Where on earth did you use them…?!”

No matter how much I rummaged through pockets, I couldn’t find the first aid tools I was looking for. When I asked if she had dropped them during combat when her suppression gear tore, this was the response I got.

Hearing her awkward chuckle, I couldn’t help but lash out.

If she didn’t have them for herself, it’s obvious she must have given them to someone else…

An exasperated sigh escaped me as I thought of this obvious outcome.

So what should I do from here?

If stopping the bleeding is impossible…? Then, shouldn’t I pull out the bullets to prevent infection? Or… should I try to cauterize the wound somehow? …Come to think of it, didn’t I break all the surgical equipment using them for offensive purposes…?!

“Damn… Calm down, calm down…!”

As I realized that the fate of all futures depended on the judgment I was making now, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I was only focused on meticulously erasing traces of Helena, who had become a foe of Paradise from the system and helping her escape, with no plans to take charge myself.

I didn’t intend to evade the heavy responsibility… but… argh!

If I had known this would happen, I wish I had left something behind.

“……Ahsa. Go home first… then I’ll be there soon….”

“Don’t say something ridiculous!”

I firmly cut off Helena, who was trying to recite a dramatic line.

It’s ambiguous whether I, just a mere hacker, held more value than this wrecked facility and the dead soldiers, but if it comes to it, I’ll contact Drayfuscus to beg for my life… I’d politely refuse any death flags.

To do that… first, I need to at least provide some basic treatment.

It seemed highly difficult to physically constrict to stop the blood flow.

Given that her arms, legs, and abdomen had been indiscriminately struck by fragmentation rounds, even with my meager knowledge of rudimentary medicine, it felt daunting to touch them recklessly.

“……Just a little longer!”

I wasn’t sure if this was a sound idea, but something came to mind that I could attempt.

Ultimately, people tend to choose the means they’re most confident in when an emergency occurs.

Sllurp….

I slipped my hand through the torn clothing and pressed it against Helena’s skin.

Within her body, there are various implants that strengthen physical abilities, though their location may be imprecise and possibly damaged.

I needed to approach carefully to avoid any unintended reactions… but if I could manipulate those, wouldn’t her survival rate increase?

“……Huh?”

As I felt a signal connecting somewhere, the surroundings shifted dramatically.

It wasn’t entirely unexpected. I had just experienced that the mental library I considered default doesn’t always appear.

However, it was the first time a space I had spent time in before appeared.

It was also the first time another person was present in a world meant solely for me.

“……?”

In a small hole-in-the-wall shop in a settlement not far from here, I locked eyes with Helena, who was crouched on the bed in a room within.

…Wouldn’t it be more fitting for the place in the city to be shared between the original owner and the tenant bearing the name Valentine…?

Why are we, she and I, suddenly in such a place?

“……What a bizarre illuminative fantasy. I wonder if the old man is still working hard?”

“Ah?! Just… wait!!”

Suddenly, without knowing what the situation was, I was pulled into her arms like a cherished toy.

It seemed she considered this a dream or a hallucination, as her excessive physical contact resumed without any restraint after my vague rejection.

“Ahsa, even in dreams, you’re prickly… Despite me struggling, you’re just so irritated…”

“…Irritated?”

As I tried to stop the hand that was ruffling my hair, I felt a strange resistance.

It was as if… the ability to control this imagery and space didn’t fully belong to me.

“Then, the only friend of mine has been deceiving me… hurting me… and mocking my trust for years while circling around me. How could I be okay…!”

“…….”

I could hear her softly sobbing, and the damp sensation transferred from her face resting near my crown.

…I had no way to explain the principle behind this. Yet, surely this was Helena’s inner self, a projection of the weakened heart she couldn’t bring herself to express.

Moreover, without seeking my agreement or expecting a reaction, her heavy soliloquy continued.

“In truth… I never wanted to kill you.”

“Was it because I didn’t notice earlier that you were angry…?”

“…I don’t know. I don’t understand anything anymore. I believed I had lived rightly, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Ugh…!”

Suddenly, the previously gentle touch transformed into a crushing pressure.

The room, gleaming bright like her hair’s silver, began to darken, and black smoke began to eat away at the interior.

“……It seems that there’s truly nothing in the world to trust.”

As I quietly lifted my head, I caught a glimpse of her slightly cloudy gaze.

…If black symbolizes anxiety, sadness, and despair, then the yellow tint reminiscent of a wolf that now glimmered in Helena’s iris emanated distrust and contempt.

Ironically… as those colors mixed, I caught brief glimpses of the Helena Valentine I knew from Neo Haven, but simultaneously, new questions arose.

Must the one who belongs there necessarily be a fierce beast?

…If I have grasped at the clue, then it is the discoverer’s duty to follow it diligently and untangle the knotted threads.

Gathering my voice, I asked clearly so that even a person drowning in self-hatred and doubt could hear it.

“Where has the foolish sister who boldly shouted to save people in my stead gone?”

“…That’s because Asha gave a hint… No, in truth, I even had terrible doubts about that…!”

Slosh… slosh….

“Wha?!”

As I was about to offer light advice as an elder, the speed at which the room and her gaze were eroded doubled.

Forget what I just said…! Please, just back away once!

I knew I wasn’t someone with the potential to teach anyone as a mere coincidence, but I never anticipated I’d be a bundle of negative side effects.

Ah…!! It would be better to stop with the unmatched actions and charge directly at her.

Hurriedly, this time, I spun around and firmly grabbed Helena’s trembling face with both hands.

I pushed her back so she wouldn’t get caught up in a spiral of despair with baseless thoughts.

“I’m only going to say this once, so listen well…. I…! Have never had a perfect saint as a sister! Even if I trip over a rock, I get back up quickly and crush it…! I liked the Helena Valentine who pretends to be cold but can’t hide her warmth…!!”

“…Ahsa?”

Her bewildered response and mismatched expression were amusing, yet it seemed my meaning was conveyed.

Beyond the shallow surface, ripples reaching deep began to shake Helena’s mind like an earthquake, weakening our connection.

The detailed decor of the room and the shop structure visible between the door cracks began to warp, signaling that time was up.

Though it diverged greatly from my original plan… I recall being taught that the most crucial factor in a patient’s survival is their will to live, so before I’m expelled, I must vomit out this last bit.

“So… whatever cursed illuminative fantasy or the idea that there’s nothing trustworthy in the world! Stop this damn nonsense…! For now, live for my sake!!”