Chapter 57

Swish―

Stomp,

Stomp,

Tirisia Bruerd walked aimlessly down the street, drenched in the heavy rain pouring down.

It was now well past midnight.

The sky was pitch black, just like her current mood.

She was using a concealment spell, but at this late hour, there was no one wandering in the neighborhoods, making it pretty pointless.

“…”

Tirisia had a blank expression as she dashed outside barefoot, lost in her thoughts.

Her wet hair and the clothes she borrowed from Erto clung uncomfortably to her body.

Without using magic to protect herself, her whole being was soaked in the downpour, growing colder by the second.

Yet, it was something too trivial for her to bother with at the moment.

Her mind was focused on the boy and the heartfelt words he had poured out to her.

Now, nothing was hidden anymore.

Erto, she, and all the facts were crystal clear.

His words had come from a place where everything necessary was laid bare.

No imbalance of information, no misunderstandings, and no skewed feelings—just pure rationality.

Erto had laid bare all the pain he had endured for her and the feelings he had held back without sugarcoating anything.

Thus, the conclusion they reached at that moment was flawless.

The reason she had betrayed him, why Erto had decided to remain friends, even the curse of obsession—

All of these were laid out as the foundation to scrutinize every element of the answer he had given her.

He didn’t ask for much.

Even about the multitude of mistakes she had made until now, he spoke just the facts plainly without resorting to harsh words.

That they needed to part ways.

No matter whose fault it was, they couldn’t go back to how things used to be.

They had to completely end it here.

She told herself this, not in anger but in resignation.

“Why… am I…”

That was Erto’s final act of kindness towards her.

He could have lashed out with far sharper criticisms and curses.

But Erto only offered his honest feelings and the direction they should take moving forward.

Ah, how grateful it was.

How regretful it was.

Having committed atrocious sins, she still clung to his kindness until the bitter end.

“Really… such a fool I am…”

Why had she ever pinned her hopes on him?

Why hadn’t she sincerely apologized but instead slyly hoped for his forgiveness?

Even if she had to bury her head in the ground and scream her apologies, it would never be enough for the sins she had committed.

She had pushed him off a cliff and, as if that wasn’t enough, driven him to ruin.

Why hadn’t she offered Erto a heartfelt apology right from the start?

Even if it seemed meaningless.

Not having a reason not to would have been a given.

“Ah…ugh…”

Tirisia, with a drained expression, clutched her chest as the reason dawned upon her.

She had been intoxicated by Erto’s gentleness.

He never scolded or blamed her, not even once.

Even while she was in another man’s arms right in front of him, he hadn’t slapped her across the face.

He even declared that he would continue to be friends after she cheated on him.

Watching that made her think he still held feelings and love for her.

“Ah…ahhhh!”

What a delusion her belief had been.

Erto wasn’t a god. He wasn’t a stone devoid of emotions.

He was certainly a normal person who would hurt if hit and bleed if cut.

Why had she thought Erto would endlessly endure her betrayal?

Why did she consider it okay to hurt someone she truly loved?

Such thoughts couldn’t possibly come from someone sane.

If that was the case, she must truly be a madwoman.

“Erto… Erto…!”

Tirisia kept wandering through the torrential rain while repeating his name.

The shock that had washed away her expressions gradually returned, and her face was now blossoming with sadness and despair.

“Why… why am I doing this…?”

For a brief moment, she considered that perhaps she might have been the wronged victim.

When she heard about the curse of obsession from Kerg Durakal,

She thought she had been forced into actions she would never take, having her body and heart dominated by him.

But, while obsession may cloud her judgment, it certainly did not control everything about her.

The vivid memories proved she had not completely surrendered to Kerg.

She had certainly felt disgust and pain towards the commands Kerg set for her.

The temptation to betray Erto in the most vile way and shove him down a cliff.

Not being able to resist that temptation wasn’t due to anyone’s fault but her own feeble will.

“Ugh… ughhh!”

Tirisia let out a groan of agony, continuously cursing her past self.

Now liberated from the obsession, all interest in Kerg was gone, but feelings from the time she had been cursed still lingered vividly.

It was etched into her mind like a scar.

Kerg’s face.

Kerg’s voice.

The way she had once loved and followed him.

The foolishness of feeling unmatched happiness in actions done for him,

Willingly executing even the most destructive commands for the sake of love.

And the moments they had shared—

“Ugh!”

With a wave of nausea rising from her gut, Tirisia clutched the wall and bent over.

“Uweck!”

Splurt―!

Vomit spewed out under her feet, and Tirisia heaved violently.

“Cough! Cough! Ugh, hack!”

But the nausea twisting her insides showed no sign of fading.

A terrible sense of self-loathing surged from the depths of her belly, vying to spill up her throat.

“Uweck! Uweeeck!”

Tirisia lowered her head repeatedly against the wall, retching over and over with nothing coming out.

She wanted to deny everything she had done for that disgusting man.

It was all because of obsession.

She had no choice but to love him more than Erto, forcibly.

She wanted to make those excuses, proclaim her innocence, and pour out her grievances.

But it was impossible.

‘There must have certainly been my own will involved.’

Because it was she herself who had come to terms with the worst truths.

She clearly felt that deciding to abandon Erto was a choice made with her own judgment.

Had she truly been controlled by Kerg’s will?

In response to that question, Tirisia could only shake her head.

She knew too well that wasn’t the case.

If it had been, then why had she felt so much pain when she betrayed Erto?

It was because she was choking the neck of the one she loved with her own hands.

She had committed that act knowing fully what she was doing.

She had been torn apart, tolerating her own sense of aversion and sorrow through her free will.

Therefore, she could never escape this responsibility.

Just as Kerg had said, at the very least, half of it was her fault.

“Cough! Cough! Hah… hah…”

As the surge of retching finally calmed down, Tirisia left the wall behind and resumed walking.

Stomp―

Stomp―

Her staggering bare feet stumbled slowly along the path.

Swish―

Thick strands of rain poured down relentlessly, pelting her face that gazed up at the sky.

And finally,

“Huh… huh…”

As the water streaming down her face mixed with another liquid, a sob escaped her lips.

Tirisia cried out in anguish, tears flowing freely from her eyes, clawing at her chest.

“Haaa… aaahhh!”

The most nefarious aspect of the curse of obsession was how it blurred the lines of her true nature.

She had surely fallen in love with Kerg and attacked Erto.

She had become a horrific lunatic who didn’t hesitate to sacrifice relatively small love for the sake of a bigger one.

Was that really her pure nature?

Or did the obsession, which was beyond common sense, bring her a happiness she’d never comprehend, stripping away her aversions to things she would have never done in her lifetime?

Was the false happiness she received from Kerg the same as the happiness she received from the one she truly loved?

Or was it just a drug, numbing her brain so she couldn’t think properly?

To what extent had she committed those atrocities purely by her own volition?

Perhaps there were parts where a thick fog had clouded her mind, leading her to judgments distinct from her true self.

If there was a line, where would it even be drawn?

What was truly an act for love, and what was merely blind evil committed in a fit of ecstasy?

She couldn’t tell.

That was the most horrifying aspect of the curse known as obsession.

The line of responsibility was so blurred that it became impossible to locate.

It transformed her into something filthy neither victim nor perpetrator.

Her own will and the commands of others had intertwined, leaving no semblance of shape.

And the damage from this was entirely borne by the one person she cherished the most.

“Aaaah…! I’m sorry…! Erto…!”

But what was even more horrifying for Tirisia, what cut her heart more than anything, was now Erto no longer looked at her.

She had lost someone she had loved for so long, someone more precious than anyone else.

He would never again give his heart to her.

He would not love her.

His affectionate voice, gentle words, refreshing smile, warm touch—

All of it, all of it, all of it,

She had hurled into boiling lava with her own hands.

That had burned away and would never be reclaimed.

Even if it were a tragedy caused by someone else’s will,

All circumstances had flown beyond a point of no return.

No matter how much she pleaded her case, no matter what she risked to apologize, she couldn’t turn back time on what had happened.

Even the greatest genius magician of Bruerd couldn’t rewind time.

The relationship with Erto had now reached a complete disaster.

The bond of childhood friends that had lasted for years,

The love they had shared for more than a year,

All had turned into meaningless bubbles and evaporated.

All that remained was the slow fading of her existence from Erto’s memories.

That fact was what truly tore at Tirisia’s heart.

“Aaaahhh!”

Tirisia poured out tears endlessly, howling at the sky.

His last face still lingered in her eyes.

‘Goodbye, Tirisia. I loved you sincerely.’

The gentle person who couldn’t bring himself to speak ill of her until the very end.

His eyes, filled with disappointment and resignation towards someone he had loved for so long.

Such a sight was their conclusion.

Wasn’t that just pitifully tragic?

“Huh, ugh, uuuuaaaaahhhh!”

Ultimately, Tirisia even dropped her steps and plopped down on the ground.

Despair. Despair. Pure despair.

That was all that raged within her entire being.

“I’m sorry…! I’m sorry…! I’m sorry…! I’m really sorry…!”

She covered her face with her hands, trembling her shoulders as she repeatedly apologized.

Words that were meaningless, even if she echoed them to herself.

But words that she had to express outside over and over.

“Erto… I’m really sorry…! I was wrong…! Ah…! Huh, ugh… Aaaahhhh!”

So she sat by the roadside, pouring out endless wails.

Drip―

Her breaking mind saw through the concealment spell, but that was okay.

No one was there to see her, and

Her cries dissolved into the torrential rain.

“I’m sorry, Erto… I’m sorry…! Aaaaahhh! I’m really sorry―!”

Thus, while she covered her face, she howled and cried out her apologies to the boy.

Swish―

In the depths of the dark and dense midnight rain,

Tirisia was left with nothing but regret.

---