Chapter 57

“No way, the vampire… and even the mascot is in on it…”

“Could it be something Pandora planted?”

“For the mascot, maybe, but the vampire…”

“Maybe it’s just that trashy personality you mentioned before.”

“…I have nothing to say.”

The Fairy Queen is making a rare, not-so-great expression.

The reason, of course, is because of my report.

“Well, that was surprising. If you reverse-eat a monster’s personality, there’s no change in appearance, and you get way stronger.”

“Betrayal aside, that result is definitely interesting.”

“…And it felt similar to Pandora. The medals are probably remnants of something Pandora made to amplify her power.”

“…Yes, that’s right.”

I feel kind of bad for the Fairy Queen, but there’s nothing I can do.

All I can do is grow stronger and fight.

But I’ve never heard of Pandora before, and her abilities are so mysterious that I can’t even see a clue on how to deal with her.

“……”

First, if I recall what Chubby said, Pandora’s abilities are probably “Calamity” and “Curse.”

The Third Ability is just an enhancement and removal of limits on existing abilities, so I’ll skip that.

If that’s the case… “Calamity” is a direct attack, and what I need to be careful of is “Curse.”

Unlike attacks you can just block or dodge, curse-type abilities depend on mental strength or resistance, and they’re not limited to just that. You have to consider how they’re used and think through all the possibilities.

Fighting while enduring that… it’s impossible.

Of course, if I go berserk and neutralize it with Senior’s poison, it might work, but Senior’s poison is just a leftover.

There’s no time to activate abilities while holding Senior’s Crystal Stone during a fight.

“…Pandora might be way stronger than I thought.”

“Obviously.”

“Then, Rampage-san…”

“Yeah. I don’t want to use it, but if I have to, I will.”

“No, I’ll look for another way. I don’t want to bet everything on such a dangerous gamble. It’s not certain yet.”

The Fairy Queen thinks the dangerous gamble is better than some unknown method, but…

Well, I don’t want to die meaninglessly either, so I’m more drawn to finding another way.

“…By the way, something’s weird, Rampage-san.”

“What?”

“That Crystal Stone… doesn’t it feel a bit different?”

“Really? …The appearance hasn’t changed.”

“No, it’s… the power inside feels stronger than before. Is it just me?”

“…Huh?”

Hmm… honestly, aside from occasionally feeling something, I don’t really know.

It’s just a Crystal Stone without consciousness. It can’t do anything.

Maybe I’m just tired, and the Fairy Queen is saying weird things.

“I don’t know. You seem tired, want a snack?”

“…Sure. It doesn’t seem like a bad idea.”

“Really?”

Well, the report’s done… I should head home soon.

I’ll go home and hug Max, who’s gotten a bit bigger.

He’s so well-behaved, it’s great.

Plus, Chubby communicates with him, so he listens well.

“I’m done with the report, so I’m heading home.”

“Okay, take care.”

“…By the way, what’s this ‘Child of Heo’ thing?”

“‘Child of Heo’…?”

“Yeah.”

“…No, I can’t tell you about that yet. When the time comes… I’ll let you know.”

“…Alright.”

In the end, I didn’t find out what “Child of Heo” is, and I returned home through the [Gate].

After coming back, I called Max right away, and he came slinking over, meowing.

He stood in front of me, wagging his tail, and then just lay down right there.

“…Max.”

“Meow.”

“Come, sit here.”

“…Meow.”

Sigh, I thought he was well-behaved, but now he’s not listening.

Well, it’s a relief that he came this far.

“Rampage-san~!”

“What?”

“News just came in!”

“What is it?”

“Leviathan-san retired as a magical girl!”

“…Is that so? Well, it’s good she’s not dead.”

That girl, it seemed like her insides were messed up by the vampire, but she’s alive, so she’s lucky.

But now that she’s retired, I don’t need to worry about her anymore.

“And, today Crazy Heart-san finished wiping out Evil Crown! She said she wants to meet you soon!”

“Really? …It’s a bit late today, tell her to come tomorrow.”

“Okay!”

Sigh~… I want to laze around at home, but there’s so much to do.

Half of it is my own doing, but even aside from that…

…Still, it’s better than being bored.

“Meow.”

“Oh, you finally came up.”

Max finally climbed onto my lap.

He really does things at his own pace.

If he weren’t so cute, he’d probably be extinct by now.

“Ah, he’s kneading. I haven’t given him much affection.”

“Maybe it’s because Rampage-san is like a fairy, so it affects him?”

“Is that so?”

The closer you are to a fairy, the easier it is to gain animals’ affection…

Hearing that, it really feels like I’ve strayed far from being human.

But since it’s only a good thing, I don’t know whether to like it or not…

“By the way, it’s a shame there’s no reward for defeating Duke-Class and Grand Duke-Class.”

“That wasn’t part of the deal in the first place…”

“I know. Grand Duke-Class is already expensive, and anything above that would bankrupt the national budget. Plus, Duke-Class and Grand Duke-Class wouldn’t have appeared if it weren’t for this incident.”

Still, I made a lot from wiping out Duke-Class and Grand Duke-Class last time.

Enough to last hundreds of years.

Since it’s come to this, maybe I should spread some money around…

…No, maybe I should just donate to some certified organizations.

If I just throw money around, it’ll only attract pests.

But even donation organizations take a big cut, so it’s not appealing.

About 80% of them are practically scams.

“Ah, remember the squid we bought before?”

“Huh? Yes, we have it!”

“Make some fried squid with that.”

“Okay!”

…I’m bored, maybe I’ll watch the frying.

But what’s Chubby preparing for just frying?

“What are you doing?”

“Huh? I’m using nitrous oxide cartridges for the perfect batter!”

“What’s that for?”

“It gets soggy quickly, but it gives an incredible crispiness!”

Ah~ so he’s whipping the batter like whipped cream, coating it, and frying it right away?

But what’s this batter made of?

What happened in the past few months to make him do this…

It’s scary how fast he’s evolved…

…Huh? But weren’t those nitrous oxide cartridges unavailable for purchase?

Did that stupid law disappear again?

Let me check… oh, it’s still there.

But why is he… no, it’s already funny to impose human laws on fairies.

“It’s done!”

“Oh… let me try… wow?!”

This… this texture is amazing…

Chubby can make food this good…!

I really made the right choice bringing him as a house slave!

“Ah~ that was good.”

Even after frying a lot, there’s still plenty of batter left, so I made shrimp tempura and other stuff too.

I really like the crispy texture, so I’m in a great mood now.

“From someone who couldn’t even cook rice properly to this…”

“If you want to praise me, pat me like you used to!”

“No.”

“Why not?!”

“Because… you’ve lived for how many years… it’s creepy…”

“Ugh…”

Sure, his appearance is quite lovable, but after seeing him for 15 years and knowing roughly how old he is, it’s a bit…

I know age doesn’t matter to fairies, but it’s still a bit… I can’t help but feel weird.

Hey, Max, why are you patting Chubby’s back?

“…Sigh. Here, Chubby. Sit on my lap.”

“…!!! Thank you!!”

He’s not a kid, but does he really like this?

Well, he’s worked hard, so as a reward, this much is fine…

“Ahhh… I don’t know how many years it’s been…”

“Over 10 years, for sure.”

“It feels even softer than back then…”

By the way, there’s nothing to do today.

It’s fine to just laze around, but I feel like something’s off.

I don’t want to add more work, though…

…Maybe I’ll turn on the TV, eat some snacks, and sleep?

“Things have been quiet lately, so there’s not much talk about magical girls.”

“That’s a good thing…”

“They still talk about what I did, though.”

“Well, you did go a bit overboard cleaning up that incident…”

True… I did go a bit overboard.

But the mascots fixed everything, so there’s no problem in the end.

“I should never use the Third Ability on Earth.”

“That’s right… Rampage-san is too strong now… if you mess up…”

“Your way of speaking is getting weird, Chubby.”

“Sorry… being petted feels so good……”

Chubby… can’t you see Max staring at your face, wide-eyed and ready to smack you?

He’s looking at you like you’re some weird creature, about to hit you…

“Ouch?!”

“I knew it.”

“Meow.”

“Sniff…”

“Since Max hit you, go get some snacks and beer. I feel like drinking.”

“Okay!”

By the way, before and now… I turn on the TV, but there’s nothing to watch.

Celebrities bragging about their glamorous lives, and those MZ or whatever psychos spouting nonsense…

Is this… the value of a TV license…?

I’d rather watch shows about eating all day.

How did TV shows degrade so much…?

I miss the old variety shows where they really went all out.

Nowadays, all sorts of annoying people pop up and ruin everything.

How did we end up with so many pretentious jerks…?

“Sigh, there’s nothing to watch.”

“Meow?”

“Max~ cheer me up.”

“Meow.”

“Ah, he ran away.”

When I’m with Chubby, he keeps rubbing against me, but when I reach out, he runs away…

If I pay attention to something else, he’ll come back.

Why does he even come close then…?

“He climbed the cat tower.”

“He slept there yesterday!”

“Really? I even set up a nice bed, but he prefers that? Why?”

“I don’t know!”

“Maybe he’s like those people who sleep on the couch even though they have a bed…”

Well, as long as he’s happy.

As long as he doesn’t go outside.

“…Maybe I’ll buy bottled beer next time.”

“Bottled beer?”

“It tastes a bit different from canned. Bottled is better.”

“Is that so?”

I have a lot of money, so I might as well buy the better stuff.

Honestly, draft beer would probably taste the best… but buying a machine just for that is a bit…

I’m not a beer fanatic, so there’s no need for that.

Wait, I heard there are kits to make your own beer now, maybe I should try that.

“…Rampage-san.”

“What?”

“Suddenly, I’m curious. Why did Lunatic Poison-san put [Madness Extreme Poison] in your body?”

“How should I know? There must be a reason. Maybe just to help a little.”

“Is that so…? But…”

“What? Why are you like this?”

“…No, it’s nothing!”

Chubby’s acting a bit weird today.

Whatever, I’ll take a shower and go to bed early today.