Chapter 56

What could this possibly be?

I was looking forward to finishing the evening of our last day of vacation before departing for the north, planning to end the day with a peaceful night’s rest.

“….”

Why is Asulin, who always falls asleep before me, now sitting on the bed with her cheeks puffed up, staring at me so indifferently?

Though usually, her puffed cheeks give off a very cute impression…

Could it be because the expression on the face of the person responsible for this makes even me feel slightly surprised by its lack of emotion?

“Come to think of it, Claudia was right.”

Or could it be that Asulin’s voice, which continues muttering to herself regardless of whether anyone hears, seems both excited and cold in an odd state?

If not that…

“Andy.”

“…Why are you doing this?”

“Why aren’t you sleeping yet?”

“…I want to sleep, but…”

“If that’s the case, there’s no need to hesitate, is there?”

Perhaps this is because Asulin usually tries to engage me in conversation before falling asleep, even if she goes to sleep first.

I don’t know. I just don’t get it.

But this is not something I can overlook just because I don’t understand.

With my reluctant mind, I tried to calmly figure out why Asulin had changed since we left the Imperial Palace.

I had felt something was off ever since we left the palace.

Whatever she heard from His/Her Majesty must have upset her because, despite returning to the villa, she kept sulking with her cheeks puffed out and never let it go.

She cleverly maintained her sulk.

When others, especially His Grace the Duke and my mother-in-law, were around, she acted as if nothing was wrong, ignoring my stares completely.

But whenever we were alone, and I thought her mood might have improved, she would turn to me with her puffed-up cheeks, indicating she had much to say.

“Um, Asulin.”

“…Why are you asking this?”

“Did I make some kind of mistake towards you?”

“…Why do you ask that?”

“Because it seems like you have a lot you want to say to me, but you’re holding back.”

Finally, unable to resist any longer, I asked her inside the room.

“…No.”

Despite her still-puffed cheeks, Asulin replied that there was nothing.

“…Really?”

“…No.”

“…Are you really sure?”

While continuing this childish line of questioning, I waited for Asulin to say something.

“…Why are you asking? It’s not because you did something wrong. It’s all because of Claudia… No, because of what His/Her Majesty said during our private meeting, I’m still a bit upset.”

Even as she continued speaking, her cheeks remained puffed.

Hmm, why won’t her cheeks deflate while she’s talking?

It’s fascinating, adorable, and when I hear the warmth in her voice denying any fault on my part, I clearly understand that it’s not my fault and His/Her Majesty must have played some sort of prank.

“I don’t exactly know what joke His/Her Majesty told you. Given how much time has passed, I thought it would be about time to let it go…”

“…”

“…Right?”

Even as I cautiously suggested she should let it go…

“It’s not that simple. There were many things to consider after listening to His/Her Majesty. I’m sorry to you, but I’d appreciate it if you could give me a little more time like this.”

Since she stubbornly insisted, though politely, I didn’t know what to do and eventually gave up, only to find it was already time to sleep.

And then, the usual trouble began.

Time in my head returned to the present moment.

I silently watched Asulin, who had told me to sleep first.

“…”

As always, her cheeks were puffed up more than anything I’ve ever seen before.

Although her puffed cheeks were undeniably cute, giving me some enjoyment in watching them…

“Go to sleep already.”

Facing her chilly gaze, which persisted in disguising itself as a suggestion to sleep, I found myself trying to escape the room without realizing it.

“…I can’t sleep, so I’ll just go outside and get some air…”

However, my attempt to evade her intense yet cold stare was cut short by Asulin grabbing my arm as if she were a ghost.

Is it true that her nickname “Sword Demon” isn’t just for show, even with her cute appearance?

Though I had intended to use a light movement to break free, she instantly thwarted it by reaching out and grabbing my arm.

Even though I take pride in my core being stronger than before…

“The wind outside is quite cold today, unlike the north. You look tired, so please rest well.”

Due to Asulin grabbing my arm with determination and kindly advising me to sleep early…

“…”

I barely managed to suppress the sigh of frustration that escaped me.

“Now that I think about it, your touch on my arm makes me suddenly sleepy. I’ll go to sleep now.”

Though the words sounded ridiculous even as I spoke them, I moved toward the bed.

Halfway through my steps, I realized how flimsy my excuse was and almost smirked.

“…”

But seeing Asulin heading toward the bed in sync with my steps, finally deflating her cheeks…

‘Results are all that matter.’

By the time I had rationalized it to myself, I simply lay down on the bed.

At that point, I hadn’t realized it yet. The moment I thought would be a peaceful night’s rest…

Turned out to be the longest night of my life.

—

I had restless dreams.

Though I often have nightmares, this one was particularly intense.

Compared to previous nightmares where I was treated as a tool by my biological father or the hellish battles against demons with Asulin, this dream was exceptionally harsh.

Unlike those, it wasn’t physically or emotionally painful.

I was merely observing.

The image of a child abandoned by his father—because he was the younger twin deemed unlucky at birth—drifting aimlessly through life filled the dream.

Whereas most parents leave a name on the swaddling cloth when abandoning a child at the orphanage, this child was left with no trace of identity, drifting through life resentfully.

Even though it was my own life trajectory, I observed it as if it belonged to someone else, finding it strangely alien.

A life marked by neglect, mistreatment, struggling to survive, and bitterly resenting those better off—it was unmistakably mine.

“Watching this feels truly painful.”

Looking back on it now, it was unbearably harsh.

Still, I didn’t close my eyes or look away.

Isn’t my current existence owed to enduring such hardships?

Gradually accepting this truth, I noticed something worth seeing amidst the grimness.

It was a beautiful light.

Though the dream was vivid, the light lacked clear definition.

Yet approaching it brought warmth and reassurance that life was worth living, despite its struggles.

The only downside was…

“Why is this memory blurred when everything else is so vivid?”

In the dream, I lamented.

Every detail of the dream was crystal clear except for this precious moment, which remained frustratingly vague.

The smile on my past self’s face was bright and clear, but the person who gave me that smile was distorted beyond recognition.

“Tch…”

In the dream, I clicked my tongue in disappointment.

Filled with regret and frustration, I reached out toward the blurry scene.

Maybe touching it would make it clearer.

Though it was a simplistic idea, as I extended my hand, I felt an earnest longing.

“Please…”

Who are you, who taught me such warmth?

Focused on extending my arm, I silently yearned for clarity but…

“Damn it.”

As always, longing doesn’t grant wishes.

Not only did the specific memory blur, but my entire perception started fading.

Realizing the dream was ending, I made one final desperate reach…

“Kyaah!”

The sudden shrill scream shattered the fragile dream, pulling me back to consciousness.

Damn, nothing works.

As I opened my eyes with regret, the pre-dawn darkness enveloped the bedroom, and I was about to fall back asleep when…

“My arm…it’s raised?”

I noticed my arm was lifted from the momentum of reaching out in the dream.

Munghkil-

“What is this?”

The incomparably soft sensation in my right hand fully awakened me.

To my shock, my open eyes confirmed my hand was resting on the softest part of Asulin’s upper body.

“…Ah.”

An indistinguishable sound of surprise or horror escaped my lips.

Instead of puffing her cheeks as she usually does in such situations, Asulin’s face turned redder than a ripe apple.

Haha…

“I’m done for.”

Rather than uttering the street slang I learned in my youth, I thought it inwardly.

I considered whether knocking myself out with my other hand would be a better option.

The night is deep. It promises to be a fearful one.