Chapter 56

“…So after that, he became a eunuch of great magic, huh?”

“Crude expression, but you could say that.”

“Don’t you resent Airi, Media, or Zick?”

Werner, with his usual “everything in the world is a bother” expression, gave an unexpected answer.

“Why would I need to resent anyone?”

“Huh?”

“I let my guard down and got stabbed. They’re parents, so they worried about their daughter first… Where’s the reason to resent anyone here?”

Is this guy a saint or something? Jesus, Buddha, and Confucius would probably let him into the saint club.

“Back then, I was too young and went off the rails. If I got pissed, I’d beat up nobles, smashed national treasure vases, and even zapped the Crown Prince and Princess with magic.”

So, this saint was just a villain. Joker would take a step back from this lunatic. Just because his story is sad doesn’t mean his evil deeds are excusable. But this crazy guy went around causing chaos whenever he felt bad.

Back then, people let it slide because he was young, making him a kind of juvenile delinquent, damn it.

“Every time, Brother Zick would clean up after me. He’d bow his head to those trashy people and compensate for the damages I caused out of his own pocket.”

“Did he ever apologize to you while telling you that story?”

“No, Brother Zick just silently handled everything and never scolded me.”

I’ve never heard of that setting before.

“And Sister Media kept scolding me, telling me to return to my old self. The image of her chasing me while holding Airi still makes me laugh.”

Werner, now hugging his knees like a child, looked like his 29-year-old self was mimicking his 14-year-old self. Thinking about what he went through at such a young age made me feel a bit sorry for him.

“Damn, even if that’s the case, if they knew what happened because of their daughter, they’d feel guilty, right?”

“No, Brother and his wife never even knew I got hurt.”

What the hell kind of nonsense is that? Why wouldn’t they know?

“Why wouldn’t they know?”

“I told the other brothers and sisters not to tell them.”

“Are you insane?”

“I didn’t want the two of them… and the grown-up Airi to feel guilty because of me.”

This guy’s insane, truly insane. He wanted affection but chose the hardest way to seek it, going off the rails instead? It’s impossible to understand logically. There’s a limit to how unrealistic something can be.

“Let me clarify, what I wanted was affection. Not guilt or regret because of what happened to me.”

Isn’t love born from guilt still love? People often realize someone’s importance through regret. Werner seemed to read my thoughts, chuckled, took a puff of his herbal cigar, and exhaled smoke.

“What do you think is the emotion most distant from love… or rather, its opposite?”

“Hmm… Hatred? Indifference? Disgust?”

“No, the correct answer is guilt, regret, and pity.”

“You saying that in your kid form just makes it sound like middle-schooler syndrome.”

“Regret and guilt arise from specific conditions or events and are quietly held within. Love grows without any conditions and is expressed loudly and fiercely. Can you think of two more opposite emotions?”

“That’s a hard concept to grasp.”

“Let me put it in terms of cars from your world. Giving flowers to your child sitting in the passenger seat versus placing flowers on the grave of a child you accidentally hit with your car… Can you say those flowers carry the same emotion?”

Werner, having thrown this philosophical topic at me, opened a bottle of alcohol and started drinking. It looked dangerous, but his soul is old, so maybe it’s fine.

But I had something I really wanted to say to Werner.

“You’re such a dumbass.”

“…What?”

“So, you’re saying, ‘I won’t say anything, so figure out why I’m suffering on your own. And love me unconditionally.’ Sure, Zick and Media messed up too, but you’re the one staying silent and making everyone around you explode with frustration.”

“…Don’t analyze people’s emotions on your own.”

“If you want to be loved, you have to speak up. How can anyone know if you don’t express yourself, you idiot? If you’re upset, say you’re upset. If it hurts, say it hurts. If it sucks, say it sucks. You stay silent to the people who need to hear it and lash out at the friends who worry about you?”

Werner put down the bottle and started pondering.

“You might be right. But I…”

Werner couldn’t finish his excuse and just stared at the ground. He could read my thoughts and emotions, but I had no way of understanding his.

He placed his hand on my shoulder and said.

“Maybe… I haven’t loved anyone since the moment I lost my great magic.”

“What?”

“I told you. Regret is one of the emotions most distant from love. So, I have one request.”

Werner’s body suddenly started turning into flower petals. Is he just disappearing on his own now?

“Hmph… ‘I drove a stake into the hearts of my brothers and sisters’… That’s such an accurate assessment, I have nothing to say. It’s the only regret of my life.”

Werner said that was his only regret. Not saving Airi, not living a happy life—none of that was a regret to him.

Werner placed his finger on my forehead.

“So, tell the people around me what I wanted to say someday. Or I’ll cast a spell so you’ll say it automatically when the time comes.”

Werner tried to force a spell on my soul. This bastard dares to hypnotize me?

“What will you give me in return?”

“You’re terrible at magic. I’ll give you all the knowledge I have about combat. I’ll even help you out when you’re in danger.”

“Deal.”

Cool deals are the best. He’s giving me skills and proficiency—why would I refuse? This is the jackpot.

“So, I just have to relay the message to those brothers and sisters?”

“No, tell everyone who ever shed a tear because of me.”

“Isn’t that range too broad?”

I stamped the contract too hastily.

“You should’ve read the terms carefully.”

Most of Werner’s body had turned into multicolored petals, leaving only his upper half. He closed his eyes and began chanting a spell. A strange energy, unrelated to magic, filled the air.

“My soul is your soul, your soul is my soul. Opposites are two sides of the same coin, and so are we. By this law, I transfer all traces engraved on my soul to you.”

Werner began transferring his power to me. Something warm and comforting flowed from my forehead to my heart.

His knowledge, skills, emotions—everything began merging with me. It was a strange and foreign experience, but not unpleasant. It was oddly ticklish, almost addictive.

“I was indeed foolish. So, walk a different path from me. Not as a game, but live the life of Werner Altan in my place.”

Most of Werner’s body had vanished, and with a bright smile, he left these final words.

“And show me. The best possible ending Werner Altan could reach. The greatest happiness Werner Altan could achieve.”

He’s the second person to leave me with a will on how to live.

Personally, I liked Werner’s character. He was magnanimous, cared for his disciples, loved his brothers and sisters, and always put others before himself. I thought he was just a flawless saint from a game or novel.

But he was human after all. He felt jealousy, got angry at innocent people, and ultimately just wanted to be loved. He wasn’t some saintly figure.

And he was the kind of person who only realized his regrets at the very end. Not some one-dimensional fictional character. He was eerily similar to me.

Farewell, Werner. I’ll fulfill your request. I may not fulfill others’ requests, but I always keep the promises of the dead.

A door appeared in the white space I was trapped in, and I turned the handle to step outside.

Now, Werner was no longer someone else.

I decided to accept that I am now Werner.