You should never have been born into this world.
It was probably one of the things I heard the most in my past life.
And only when those words came out, there was a moment of sincerity in the eyes of my previous mother.
At first, I clung to her, crying endlessly. Hearing such words from her, whom I loved and relied on more than anyone in the world, was a huge wound to me.
But I, who was endlessly starved for affection, had no choice but to force a smile and return to her embrace. If even she abandoned me, there would be no one left by my side.
[You’re really disgusting, you know that?]
Every time, she would look down at me with endlessly tired eyes. Contempt, annoyance, anger—all the emotions in her eyes stabbed into my heart like daggers.
She calls me ugly. A monster obsessed with affection, incapable of doing anything on my own. But honestly, it wasn’t entirely unfair.
It’s not like I’m asking for much. Just a warm hug… or even holding my hand… If not that, then a gentle smile would be enough…
But the only expressions of affection I received from her were violence and abuse disguised as love.
Like a stubborn cockroach that keeps coming back no matter how many times you kill it, my arms and legs were always covered in fresh bruises. Honestly, thinking of it as a kind of affection from my mother, it wasn’t that painful.
Being alone was a greater pain for me.
My room was a small, dark room without a single window, but it was okay because there was a mirror.
I sat quietly and stared into the mirror. Inside it was a child who looked exactly like my mother, with a face as pretty as hers.
When I smiled at the mirror, the child who looked just like my mother smiled back at me. It felt as if my mother was giving me a gentle smile, and my heart warmed.
When I reached out my hand to the mirror, the child inside also reached out to hold my hand.
As long as our hands touched, I didn’t feel the crushing loneliness.
*
I’m sick of you.
Viviana said that to me.
After hearing those words, my mind went blank, and I couldn’t even make proper judgments. My mind was too busy trying to figure out why Viviana was sick of me.
“Can I at least touch your chest instead?”
I didn’t even have the luxury to think about why Viviana, who wasn’t a psycho lesbian like Mardian, wanted to touch my chest.
If I let Viviana touch my chest, would she look at me with more affection? But what if she gets sick of me again this time? What would happen then?
No. I don’t want that.
Even though I gave her my entire body, if Viviana, who had savored my body for so long, looked down at me with those sickened eyes again… I couldn’t bear it.
“My, my chest is… a bit much, don’t you think?”
I forced a smile as I spoke.
“…Is that so?”
The faint interest in Viviana’s eyes vanished in an instant. Her violet eyes were filled with nothing but boredom.
I resented Viviana, who had cared for me just yesterday, for changing so suddenly. But even so, I couldn’t bring myself to complain. According to the contract, I was in the position of the subordinate, and Viviana was in the position of the superior.
“W-well, how about a walk together…? Or maybe having tea time would be nice…”
“I’m not the type to enjoy such old-fashioned things.”
Afraid of meeting her indifferent gaze, I couldn’t look at Viviana anymore and lowered my head.
“I, I see…”
“…”
Silence followed for a long time. I thought I heard the sound of teeth grinding, but I convinced myself it was just my anxiety playing tricks on me.
“Are you really not going to let me touch your chest?”
Viviana spoke again with a faint smile.
“…My chest is a no—”
“Instead, I’ll send you two paintings this time.”
Normally, I would have been happy. Maybe I would have even let Viviana touch my chest in exchange for two paintings. But for some reason, her offer only made me feel more depressed.
The way Viviana spoke…
It felt like… she was treating me like a prostitute.
I would never have thought of such a thing normally. But facing Viviana’s cold voice and her quickly fading interest, I felt like a prostitute selling my laughter and body for money, as if some part of me was calling out.
“…I’m sorry.”
“…Alright.”
With a short word, Viviana stood up, looking down at me with indifferent eyes, and spoke again.
“But Tina, I’ve paid off all your family’s debts and promised the support of our ducal family, which all the nobles desire. I hope you’ll give me something in return.”
“That… is…”
“Rest well. I’ll visit again tomorrow.”
She turned her back without hesitation and left the room. I couldn’t bring myself to lift my head until the sound of her footsteps disappeared.
Silence enveloped the room, and as the quiet loneliness began to wrap around me, I lifted my head and looked at the mirror.
Eyes like a rotting fish, devoid of light. The eyes my mother in my past life had despised. I hated those eyes so much.
At times like this, my childhood friend would always comfort me. I had no regrets about my past life, but the fact that I could no longer see her made my heart ache.
I crawled on all fours to the mirror. I reached out and touched the mirror. A small, pale hand, just like mine, touched mine from within the mirror.
The loneliness lessened a bit, and my heart felt a little better.
This time, I got up and approached the bed, flopping down onto it. I opened the book beside me and carefully examined each picture inside.
A man in the picture was crying tears of blood, screaming in agony. Seeing his suffering made me feel a little better, as if my own misery had lessened.
Yeah, it’s okay.
There’s someone here who’s suffering way more than me, right? This guy’s feet are torn, his hands are torn, and half his head is blown off, but I’m fine.
So it’s okay.
How many people in the world are more miserable than me? Compared to those pitiful people, I’m actually happy. So there’s no need to feel bad, right?
I know it’s ugly to find comfort in others’ misery, but I knew I was that kind of person from the start.
Every time I felt lonely, I looked at the mirror, and every time I felt depressed, I stared at the pictures in the book.
Finally, it seemed my efforts were rewarded. A sense of peace slowly settled into my complicated heart.
Just as I was about to force a smile by pulling my lips apart with my hands, the tightly closed door to my room suddenly opened.
For a moment, I thought Viviana had returned, but the figure that appeared was none other than Iris.
“…Iris?”
Normally, she would ring the bell before entering, but Iris opened my door and came in without me calling her.
“Is something wrong?”
“…”
All that returned was a cold silence.
Why did she come if she wasn’t going to say anything?
Still, having someone in the room with me was better than being alone.
Though I was a bit weary, I forced a faint smile and looked at Iris.
“You know what, Iris? Actually, today—”
“Didn’t I tell you before not to cross the line with me?”
A calm, pleasant voice, neither high nor low. The cold voice suited Iris’s icy demeanor, and my eyes widened in shock.
Did Iris just say that? For a moment, I couldn’t believe it.
Iris, who had been silent since our first meeting, suddenly speaking to me like this? For a moment, I thought I was hearing things, but the look in Iris’s eyes was different from usual.
But… what did she just say…?
“What did you say…?”
“It was a kind of warning, I think, but it was utterly ridiculous.”
Her tone was blunt and dismissive. The roughness in Iris’s voice left me feeling bewildered.
Even if my family was in decline, I was still a noble. The fact that she could speak to me like that meant Iris was also a noble.
“Iris… what’s going on all of a sudden?”
“Hmm… you’re kind of cute, but also quite annoying.”
Iris smirked as she approached me. The unusual aura around her made me instinctively step back.
Before I knew it, Iris had grabbed my wrist and pushed me down onto the bed.
In the sudden situation, I tried to push her away, but Iris didn’t budge an inch.
It was surprising how much stronger she was, even though we were both women.
“…What’s going on all of a sudden?”
In response to my question, Iris, with calm eyes.
Her voice, sharp as a blade, pierced through me.
“I hope you realize that someone as competent as me is far more suited to the Merdelia family than a woman like you, who’s just going to be tossed aside after being used.”
Her words were so sudden and cutting.
My heart sank deeply again.
![[TS] The End of Magical Girls Has Come](https://i3.wp.com/darkmtl.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/1737407792-8993-TS-The-end-of-magical-girls-has-come.png?resize=85,105 "[TS] The End of Magical Girls Has Come")
