Chapter 536

Chapter Two was rewritten and deleted repeatedly over two hours in front of the computer, without eating, feeling no hunger, but only managing to write less than 1000 words before hitting a wall.

It wasn’t that I lacked ideas.

This volume was the crux of the entire book. Many characters’ storylines would conclude here with their respective losses and gains, predetermined long ago, almost since the beginning of this book. You’ve probably noticed that this volume ties up some loose ends while introducing new ones.

This chapter is crucial for unveiling the superficial layers of the story. Before this, you would follow Xiao Pei Pei’s perspective, seeing the apparent good and evil in this world, such as Teresa harming orphans and the Truth Gate’s reckless, terrorist-like acts, all unforgivable. I won’t try to whitewash these; there’s a deeper reason behind them.

After this volume ends, you will understand what those reasons are.

So, this is an important chapter, more mentally taxing than any other. I couldn’t use first-person narration anymore to unfold the story from Xiao Pei Pei’s perspective. From the start of the war, such weight could not be carried by one person alone, even many people together.

I tried my best not to make it too realistic—reality is far harsher than what I can describe.

In short, I have reached this point despite countless illnesses and interruptions. The more I think about it, the more pressure I feel.

Severe insomnia has plagued me for years, starting before I began writing novels. When I couldn’t sleep, I went to bars; now, I write novels instead. Recently, I returned to updating twice a day, slowly recovering with medication. But due to year-end activities, I found myself staying up late again to write, resulting in chapters being posted at midnight or early morning.

I started to feel my abilities were insufficient.

When I first started writing, I was confident. Initially, I believed that with enough practice, I could match those who wrote over ten thousand words a day. But after a year, hearing about someone else reaching that milestone makes me sigh in envy. I realize I might never reach that level; it requires talent.

The萌战 (Mengzhan) is on.

My editor, SF Xiaolu Da, talked to me late the other night, suggesting I write more during Mengzhan to give back to the readers. I agreed, planning to double update. However, I ended up breaking that promise—I’m too embarrassed to tell my editor. Xia Da has been so supportive of this book; I often feel I’ve let him down, ultimately due to the lack of updates.

Today, I promised to double update but failed again—this isn’t the first time I’ve made such a promise and broken it.

I feel terrible, especially during Mengzhan.

I know many people support Xiao Pei Pei, some I know and others I don’t. They’re all rooting for her, even more so than other books’ readers, hoping she wins the title of 萌神 (Mengshen). Frankly, I feel she deserves it—how can anyone deny her cuteness?

But this thought, I believe, every author deeply attached to their character shares—how can you deny your beloved character’s cuteness?

Great authors pour their hearts into their characters, truly loving them. So, Xiao Pei Pei’s journey follows the natural order. I don’t want this to affect the quality of the work, so I just hope you’ll vote, though students shouldn’t spend money—see, other authors host events, add chapters, and even dress up. I did none of that and even broke off updates. I feel bad asking for help to vote.

Still, some people voted for Xiao Pei Pei.

Big shots, readers, all working hard to help Xiao Pei Pei win Mengzhan.

I am genuinely touched.

This feeling, I believe, only authors can truly understand.

I haven’t considered adding chapters to repay your support, but last year, I said I would and realized I couldn’t. It’s not that I couldn’t write thousands of words, but hastily produced content is meaningless besides padding the plot.

Especially now, I’m writing Joker, his first encounter and battle with Xiao Pei Pei.

Such scenes, I could pad a few chapters, but what’s the point? Earning money? I don’t need it; it’s just a waste of time for everyone involved.

Sometimes I wonder why I created such a difficult antagonist like Joker—why not just let Xiao Pei Pei crush him? Whenever I think this, Joker protests, “Don’t forget who I am?”

Joker is completely opposite to me.

Writing him is particularly challenging, and I do it slowly because entering his world is incredibly difficult.

But he’s already alive.

Since I created him, he’s acted according to his own will, beyond my control. This sounds arrogant, but writers can understand this. I believe he understands.

Enough of this.

This is just my rambling, writing whatever comes to mind, as I haven’t communicated with you in a long time.

As I write this volume, the first-person perspective becomes harder to maintain, otherwise, I’d repeat the mistakes of Chapter Three. But abandoning the perspective is also a mistake. Who knows?

But the story needs to be clear.

Tomorrow is Christmas. My good friend organized a party and invited me long ago. I agreed but will tell him tomorrow I can’t make it.

Because I’m writing a novel.

Because I’m not a big shot who can churn out 2,000-3,000 words in two or three hours.

Because I truly love writing novels.

My friend might curse me, but I’m thick-skinned.

If I can do something as drastic as breaking off updates, I can do anything!

Writing novels has cost me much time and effort—initially, I just wanted to escape the chaos and focus on meaningful things. Now, it’s becoming burdensome.

Before writing, I received countless calls asking if I was free, inviting me to various events. After writing, such calls decreased as friends knew I wouldn’t be available.

I almost gave up my nightlife, whether useful or not. Of course, for important matters, I still go, but it means breaking off updates.

Before writing, many opportunities arose with younger girls, but now, they’re gone—haha.

Before writing, my siblings would gather regularly, taking turns to treat each other. Now, they ask if I can join.

These are real friends, but they consider my time now. I have no leisure, only writing and plotting after finishing daily tasks.

I definitely won’t have time for a holiday in Sanya at the end of December, going would mean breaking off updates—last time in Singapore, I was typing, and even during the firework show, I had to write. They understood and didn’t disturb me, playing cards outside, whispering, afraid of disturbing me. I saw the fireworks, but they didn’t.

A friend once told me that great people think about how to save time.

This may be hard to understand, but it’s exactly what it says—big shots strive to make their time more efficient.

Some mock me, pushing themselves so hard yet not making as much profit as some lazy bosses. Many, known and unknown to me, set small rules to make things run smoothly, freeing up their time for hobbies, eating, drinking, and women—just that much ambition.

To them, I’m not smart.

But how could they understand that writing novels is my passion?

They don’t get it.

…**Damn, I can’t write the plot, but I can instantly write 3,000 words of nonsense. Can anyone endure this?

Forget it.

Tonight is Christmas Eve.

Although you can go out and play, please don’t waste money on apples. Wouldn’t it be better to spend that time gifting your girlfriend or virtual wife 648 yuan?

It would be!

Coconut sheep is mine!

…But I don’t have one yet.

Tomorrow is Christmas, and I’ll post another chapter.

Regarding my friend’s Christmas party… What?! It’s my turn to pay this time?!

No time.

Anyway, I’ll be writing tomorrow.

So, we’ll celebrate Christmas together, what of it!

For the Mengzhan, vote for Xiao Pei Pei’s heart, now down to six to three, each round resetting. To the semifinals and finals, it’s calculated separately. Everyone should participate within their means, don’t get carried away with spending. If you win, great, if not… Xiao Pei Pei is still Xiao Pei Pei, right?

After the Mengzhan, I’ll use the donations to hire a great artist (I told him I’d double update today, hahaha) to draw a key scene of the plot twist.

A different, BOSS form of Xiao Pei Pei, which you’ll first see in the artist’s illustration (half-spoiler?).

That’s all!

Spanish, December 24, 2020