I had realized that things had started to break down at some point.
So.
It was from the moment our skinship became natural, to the extent that brushing her hair away and having our shoulders touch felt comfortable.
From the day it rained, when I leaned against her while exposing all my vulnerabilities at a family home. Like a child throwing a tantrum, I let out an extremely impolite groan.
And in that everyday life when she began to pour her unconnected kindness onto me, I foolishly struggled in her love and betrayed myself.
But I did not prevent myself from becoming lazy. I wanted to, but I didn’t.
I had suffered all this time. All I wished for was simply to spend time with someone.
This much should be enough. This much is my reward.
It shouldn’t have been like that.
It was a toxin that had to be endured for a brilliant finale. I should not have relied on just the shell in front of me.
I was abandoning my duty, feeling relieved by her occasional gestures that seemed to be wary of me, by the expressions that pushed me away and did not meet my gaze.
I was reassured that the relationship hadn’t been twisted at its end.
That’s right.
She is an association hunter, and I am a wanted awakened one.
She is a saint, and I dwell in the lowest tier of mentality.
Entangled.
Nausea rose within me at her pure white pupils watching me.
I picked up the dropped knife and washed my dry face with one hand.
I had just been complacent.
Perhaps I should have treated myself a little more harshly.
It was thrilling.
Everyday with her was so enjoyable that I acted like it was normal.
While I felt nauseous from the cozy warmth and warm gaze, I also felt pleasure.
I should have realized. I am still immature.
“······.”
But what can I do?
What should I have done?
Does it even make sense logically?
I am trash. The number one wanted awakened one who led a massacre.
Orders came down to shoot me on sight.
Erica was in charge of me.
It was you.
I stabbed your heart more than five times, and I had torn apart your limbs more than ten times.
It’s only natural to hate me.
Even if I treated you kindly, you should always have been wary of me.
You were cautious. You had been cautious.
In the midst of countless emotions surpassing her, I felt her gaze tearing into me.
Erica had always fulfilled her duties. The only one at fault was me.
Why. Why is it always me?
I, too, only wanted to feel something called emotion.
I just wished for normalcy.
As a single person, I wanted to go for a walk, drink coffee, and spend cozy time with someone.
Where did it all go wrong?
I don’t know.
Though it was chaotic all around, the space surrounding her and me was extremely calm.
“Blood, there’s so much blood…”
Her beautiful voice carved into my innards countless times.
It was fierce but gentle.
Nausea rose again at the twisted emotions.
Blood gushed out, and waves surged from my mouth.
“O, Orly!”
“·····Don’t come.”
I saw her trembling pupils. I pointed the knife to the side.
“Can’t you see those people? Those necros fighting and tearing each other apart?”
I tried to keep from abandoning the last line holding me back, glancing sideways. Despite being outnumbered, the hunters looked like they were winning; maybe it’s because they’re an expedition group.
Should I have raised my healing stats a bit more?
“Hmm? We have to go, go help, right?”
I’m not doing anything right.
Let’s try to put in the effort even now.
Just as I was about to imbue the knife with magic power and swing it.
This rotten body, addicted to her pure white gaze, didn’t miss the movement of her lips.
“···I don’t really know.”
I stopped my arm. My body halted, and the surrounding air calmed down.
“We need to help, but as part of the association, that’s correct.”
Her voice was incredibly enchanting. My gaze was drawn in. To her lips, to her eyes.
“You’re in pain too.”
“Not at all, not at all.”
“Liar.”
I felt something boiling within me from the kindness that crossed the line. My sanity wavered with elated emotions.
Beautiful.
But ugly.
I twisted my arm and held the knife diagonally.
Then there was nothing to do but try. At the very least, let’s go back to the past for just this situation.
Flapping my wings, I pushed off the ground. As I swung the knife, the blade drew a curve. The pure white sword was raised. Our gazes met. At the point where blade and sword met, sparks flew.
“Don’t resist. You can’t help it.”
Looking at her eyes, which had begun to shimmer with light, I felt relieved.
Even if something twisted, the essence did not fade. Even with her forced attacks, she raised her sword.
The blow shuddered once more. The massive blade struck from the sky. As I bent my knees and jumped, the ground I was just standing on was pierced by her sword, creating a huge hole.
Seeing the thick smoke rise, I couldn’t help but smile. It was inevitable that it would end up like this.
In that fleeting moment, I looked around. I could see the necro legion rapidly decreasing. The hunters were catching their breath.
Contrary to expectations, it was being suppressed quickly. Is it because they are an expedition group?
I placed the knife against my chest. I gauged the position and struck through. Pain engulfed my body, etching a massive scar in a diagonal line.
Drops of blood filled the air. As I clenched my hand, it gathered into a single red flower. Magic power seeped in. The petals distorted and transformed into thorns.
A wave of blood surged. A sea of thorns spread wide. A fierce wind blew, pouring out chilliness. Screams resonated in space, stimulating my brain.
“Thi-this is great.”
My breath was ragged. But it was perfect.
There was no deviation from the plan.
As I clenched my hand, a massive scythe flowed into my grasp. Flapping my wings, I mixed into the crowd. I swung the scythe. The blood-red curve sliced through the air, and the stench of flesh tickled my nose.
Blocking the raining bullets with my wings, I gripped the scythe with one hand. Holding my breath, I reached out. The scythe charged at the ground. As the rotating blade let out another scream, I smiled at the glimmering letters engraved upon the blade. It seemed I had gathered enough blood.
Let’s think positively.
I clutched my blood-soaked chest and descended to the ground.
Where is Erica?
It had been several minutes since I lost her in the thickening smoke.
Turning my gaze, I saw the last skeleton soldier shatter. Erica was catching her breath.
There was also a golem that had turned into a pile of rocks over there.
As I turned my head, I could see fallen hunters spitting out blood in a corner.
The situation was good. It was the expected scene. If this proceeds like this, it would be perfect.
It wouldn’t be ideal to have too many hostages.
I pulled the arm of the congress representative, who was bleeding and incapacitated.
Before I knew it, I sat down in the center of the now silent interior, wrapping the red loop around his neck. It was surprisingly difficult to hold because it was so tight.
I heard footsteps. I raised my gaze.
I met her pure white pupils.
“Good job.”
“·····Orly.”
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that just now.”
It doesn’t make sense for her to be worried about me.
Right. It doesn’t make sense.
A sense of confusion settled in her expression within her gaze.
Of course, this is an extremely dangerous situation.
“It’d be better for you to keep quiet. One word from you could cost this man his life.”
To be precise, it would be more accurate to say he would be torn apart.
“I’ll give you a choice.”
She remained silent. It didn’t really matter. It could even be considered normal.
It’s better to think my words aren’t even worth a response.
I grabbed her representative’s hair and lifted him up.
“Either sacrifice this person and save those people.”
Even while speaking, Erica’s gaze was on me. The color of her pupils was not visible. Is she that shocked?
“Or you can take me down…”
“My, my wounds.”
A moment of silence suddenly came. I blinked.
“Hmm?”
“Your chest… the injury is severe.”
Her pure white pupils turned towards me. Our gazes met.
Fear engulfed me. My heart raced violently.
“Ah, ah. This person? Of course, earlier….”
“You.”
A nauseating silence settled again. Cold sweat poured down.
Her clean pupils were staring directly at me.
“No. No way. No.”
My vision turned red for a moment.
What do I do.
What can I do?
No.
Let’s try to resolve this through words.
“D-do you not see this person? He’s in so much pain!”
I’ve never been this desperate before. My words shook intensely, but I think the meaning got through.
“···You seem to be in a lot of pain too.”
“What do you mean?”
A hollow laugh escaped my lips. I quickly lowered my gaze. Could it be that this person doesn’t look hurt enough?
But that wasn’t it. His skin was cracked and his abdomen was ruptured countless times. His right arm looked like it was torn apart beyond any recognition.
Only his breath, labored, was being exhaled.
“Get a grip, Erica. I’m currently holding a hostage situation. If you don’t listen to me, I don’t know what I might do.”
It was a plea. I desperately wanted her to return to her original self.
Her pure white pupils remained unchanged. My still throbbing chest was exposed to her view.
I shivered at Erica’s expression unknowingly. It was infinitely gentle.
In a hurry, I placed the knife against the representative’s neck.
It was a meaningless action.
“I need to treat your chest immediately. The signs of poisoning are severe.”
“Erica!”
This doesn’t make sense. It shouldn’t be like this. Clearly.
What did I do wrong?
Was I supposed to have endured it? Should I have hidden my frail body? Should I not have treated you kindly?
But that can’t be helped. She’s someone I like. Someone I love.
I want to treat her well. I want to help her.
A beautiful world. A splendid world I longed for.
You must smile in the end. You must be victorious.
I wanted to see you raising the banner high and exhaling the breath of the finale. I hoped you would feel a sense of accomplishment as you remembered the exhausting past and realized it.
Simply.
I just wanted to see you smile.
Before I knew it, I realized my breathing had grown ragged. I trembled my lips. I had to say something.
All around was quiet. It was strangely calm.
“Well then, I guess there’s no helping it. I’ll have to kill this person. It can’t be helped. Right? Yes?”
I raised the knife. I imbued it with magic power and shut my eyes tightly.
My vision whitened.
Blood poured from my mouth.
An indescribable pain enveloped my body.
I lowered my gaze.
Countless daggers were embedded in my abdomen.
“Haah.”
Once again, I lifted my gaze.
Erica brushed her hair back.
“Looks like we almost had a big problem.”
I looked around. Hunters in uniforms were pointing their guns at me from all around.
“I’m glad you arrived just in time.”
“Sorry for being late.”
“It’s okay. Everyone is alive.”
Erica gave a slight smile. Blood soaked the ground.
Ah. I see.
I’m relieved.
I’m really glad.
I could die right here and it would be alright.
“You’ve lost to me.”
“You held on until reinforcements arrived. Impressive. I’ll compliment you!”
A sense of emptiness and relief engulfed me.
I smiled faintly as I got up. My limbs felt stiff and wouldn’t move properly.
I barely managed to lift my arms.
“I’ll surrender.”
Erica gestured to the hunters, nodding her head. The hunters lowered their guns and hurriedly pulled out medical boxes, scattering in different directions.
“I had faith in you. I knew you must have been plotting something! You really did hate me still, huh!”
A silence ensued.
“······Yes.”
At her delayed response, I felt a dizzying sensation in my head.
I tugged at my hair, my nerves focusing on the pain.
“···Please don’t.”
Erica took a step forward. The air settled down. The wind blew and a warm hand brushed over my chest.
“···I’ll treat you.”
“I-it’s okay…”
“Be quiet.”
A kindness washed over me. Suddenly, the impulse to want to give up everything surged within me.
“I’m catering to your whims, okay?”
“Yeah. That’s right. That’s it!”
I halted my thoughts.
