Chapter 52

I was boiling with frustration and feeling depressed.

I wanted to bury my face in my knees and cry for hours, if I could.

But I couldn’t do that.

Since I’d already given permission, I was the one who had to explain things to Sena.

The sooner I told her, the better it would be for her too.

I took a moment to calm my mind and went to find Sena to set up a meeting.

There was a bit of a hiccup where she noticed my tear-stained face and got worried, but in the end, she agreed, and we decided to meet in her room after school.

If you ask why I didn’t just tell her right away, I’d have to say it’s because I just wanted to.

When you’re stressed and tired, you might want to be with your only friend, right?

Sena’s my friend.

Yeah, nothing weird about that.

I tried hard to convince myself there wasn’t.

I was a little worried that Sena might give me a strange look when she heard what I had to say, and that would hurt.

***

After school, I knocked on Sena’s door at the agreed time.

The door opened immediately, and Sena, dressed in casual clothes, stepped out.

“Excuse me.”

“Come on in.

It’s a bit messy inside, so I’m a little embarrassed.”

I smiled faintly, remembering when she had come to my room.

That time was pretty much the worst in every way.

“Don’t worry.

As you saw last time, I’m pretty messy too.”

“…Princess, you were sick back then, but it’s still cleaner than that.”

“I was trying to comfort you, so why am I getting hit back?”

Sena’s room, which I stepped into with a blank expression, was surprisingly tidy, making her earlier comment seem like a humble brag.

In fact, it was so clean that it felt almost too sterile for a girl her age.

When I asked where it was messy, she started talking about the air quality, and I failed to keep a straight face.

I stopped her from setting up the table and just plopped down on the bed.

As we lounged around, hugging pillows and chatting about random things, she suddenly asked me.

“Oh, right.

What was it you wanted to tell me?”

I sighed, realizing the moment had come.

When I told Sena about Hans, her bright expression instantly froze.

She asked in a concerned voice.

Luckily, she didn’t seem to find it strange that I’d come all this way just to tell her this.

“Are you really going to be okay…?”

“You said you rejected Hans when he approached you, right?

I’m really grateful for that.

But, I’ll be fine.”

“Rejecting him isn’t hard.

If you just don’t give him permission, he won’t have any way to join the club.

You just have to ignore him for three more days…”

“But who knows what he’ll do next.

It’s not like I can kill Hans and eliminate the problem.”

“……”

After saying something so extreme, I laughed lightly, trying to pass it off as a joke.

Sena still had a serious expression, so I’m not sure if it landed.

“It’s better to keep him close.

It might be a bit annoying, but at least I can control him.”

Thinking about it this way, I realized what I was about to do wasn’t much different from what Ariana had done, which made me a little sad.

Honestly, since we reunited, I haven’t been through anything that would justify holding such a grudge.

Do I even have the right to hate Hans?

I’ve made too many mistakes myself to comfortably pin all the blame on him.

“…Maybe he doesn’t have bad intentions.

Maybe I’m just overreacting.”

I muttered in a subdued voice.

“Then again, I’ve become such a strange person, so it’s understandable that he’s trying so hard to get close…”

“No!

Hans is the strange one.

You’re the victim here, Princess, suffering because of him.”

Sena grabbed my shoulders and shouted.

I was startled and my eyes widened.

“…And maybe it’s partly my fault too.”

But her initial energy quickly faded, and she started to retreat into herself.

Her dark expression, shrinking posture, and self-blaming words—classic self-deprecation.

Seeing something so characteristic of me in her was a bit of a novel experience.

“I shouldn’t have told Hans about you from the beginning…

I might have given him the wrong idea again…”

I gave a bitter smile.

I didn’t want to see her struggling between Hans and me.

It’s enough if I’m the only one suffering.

Let those who haven’t done anything wrong stay out of it.

I needed to change the mood.

Come to think of it, there was something I’d been meaning to say for a few days but hadn’t yet.

“Hey, Sena.”

“Yes…?”

“Is it okay if I drop the formalities?

It feels natural with Hans, but it’s a bit awkward being so polite with you.”

Sena flinched.

She seemed surprised, but she didn’t look displeased.

That’s a relief.

I wasn’t rejected like I had been with Ariana before.

I felt at ease and a little excited at the same time.

“Ah, of course, that’s fine.”

“Then, will you drop the formalities too?”

“Hic.”

Sena hiccuped and covered her reddening face with her hands.

Her gaze slowly drifted downward.

“I-I’ll need a little time…

This isn’t good for my heart…”

“Huh? I don’t get it, but whatever makes you comfortable.”

I lay down on my side, hugging a pillow and curling up as I looked at her.

“Anyway, instead of wasting energy on such trivial topics, why not pour it into me—no, give it to me.

We’re in different classes, so we don’t get many chances to be alone like this.”

“Ah… You’re right. Sorry.

Should we switch to a lighter topic?”

“Mhm, but it’s also fun to keep chatting.”

I smiled and tossed the pillow aside.

Then, I grabbed Sena’s arm and pulled her down to lie facing me.

She ended up lying with her head on my arm, making it easy to hug her with just one arm.

The warmth of another person, something I hadn’t felt in a long time, slowly spread through my cold body.

“I just want to feel some body heat right now.

It’s been a while since I’ve had this.”

“…Huh?”

Sena muttered, confused.

“Huh? What? Huh?”

With each word, her body trembled more violently until—

“Eek.”

She let out a small cry and froze.

I glanced over and saw her ears were bright red.

It seems she’s fine with hugging but can’t handle being hugged.

If she didn’t like physical contact, I’d feel bad.

She never showed this side before, so I had no idea.

“Sena? Are you okay?”

“Wh-what are you doing…?”

“Hmm, should I let go if you don’t like it?”

“N-no… I don’t dislike it…”

If she doesn’t dislike it, then is she just embarrassed?

A sense of relief filled my mind, and a mischievous smile appeared on my face.

“What’s this? You used to pounce on me without a care.

I still remember it clearly.

You pinned me down on the bed, with me underneath and you on top like this…”

While hugging her, I flipped over so I was on top, mimicking the position.

Up close, our faces were just inches apart.

Her face was so red that I was worried it might burst any second.

Caught off guard by her overreaction, she clenched her eyes shut and let out a scream.

“It was an unavoidable situation!

It’s just… it’s a bit weird right now.

Even between friends, this kind of distance is…”

“We’re not close.

I know that.”

“Then why are you acting like this…?”

“To relieve some stress and add a little spice to life?”

“Wow… that sounds like some shady intentions just came out…”

I let out a small laugh at Sena’s resigned tone.

I slowly sat up, stretching my legs beside her, and began whispering a story that came to mind.

“Hey, did you know I used to like Hans?”

I definitely did back then.

Maybe even now.

With the princess who fell for him mixed into my life, it might be a feeling I’ll never shake off.

“He was my first love, but something bad happened, and we ended up like this.

We broke up without properly sorting out our feelings.

Honestly, I’m avoiding him now because I still have feelings, but also because I don’t want to get hurt by hating him.”

But it feels unfair to just keep avoiding him.

Since becoming a princess, I thought maybe I should try liking another woman nearby, since my sexual orientation leans more toward men.

And, coincidentally, there was a girl who recently became my friend sitting right next to me.

The perfect situation just fell into my lap.

Of course, it’s not serious.

Just a bit of sincerity mixed into a joke.

“So, this is like a cover-up.

Of course, it can’t be serious since it’s between girls, but if you’re my friend, you have an obligation to humor this troublesome me.”

I deliberately moved closer, locking eyes with her.

I pulled my lips into a pout, letting my eyes glisten as if tears were about to fall.

In other words, I was being cute.

It was something I could do because I knew how attractive I looked.

“Don’t worry.

If Sena doesn’t like it, I won’t do it.

But I do want to ask.

You’d save me, right? Would you really reject this pitiful me? Huh…?”

“I’m going to lose my mind…

How can I say no to this…?”

Sena muttered, covering her face with her hands, her voice trailing off.

Permission granted.

I smiled brightly and continued.

“Then can I kiss you?”

“I didn’t agree to that…?”

“Just a touch, okay?”

“Were you planning to use your tongue?!”

Of course, I wasn’t planning to do that right away.

But I did have the intention to try it when the opportunity arose.

After all, if it’s Sena, I wouldn’t have to be scared.

That aside, her surprised expression was cute.

I chuckled softly as I watched her shocked face.

“Hehe, just kidding.”

“It doesn’t look like a joke at all.

It feels like my illusions are shattering, and I’m getting dizzy…”

“Illusions?”

Sena averted her eyes, slightly embarrassed.

“Well, you know.

The princess’s appearance and habits make her seem like a true heavenly lady.

…Even though I know your inner self, I can’t help but have some illusions.”

“…I see. It’s similar to how I feel about Sena.”

Lately, as I’ve been building a friendship with her, I’ve felt the image I had of Sena Blomberg slowly crumbling.

It wasn’t exactly a pleasant phenomenon.

I’m not used to change after spending so long curled up in my shell.

What if, as layers are peeled away, something that could torment me comes out?

Well, it’d be a lie to say I wasn’t worried about that.

“This must be what it’s like to get closer as humans.

You learn about each other’s unknown sides, and the gap between the well-constructed image and reality becomes apparent.”

Still, I didn’t feel the need to distance myself from Sena.

I believed that no matter what, she would affirm me.

It might be similar to how I felt about the health teacher, even though there’s no basis for it.

Even the vaguest reason was enough.

Since I can’t predict the future, these vague, trivial beliefs are the only milestones I have to guide my relationships.

And if I get betrayed, I’ll end up like me.

Sadly, reality usually leans this way.

“Whether you can get over the discomfort and get used to it or not will determine what happens next.

In my case, I still like Sena, but what about you? Do you dislike me now?”

Sena smiled faintly.

Her calm but deeply confident gaze was enough.

“…There’s no way I’d dislike you.

The princess has just become a bit more troublesome in a different way.

If I were going to give up over something like this, I wouldn’t have approached you in the first place.”

“Yeah, same here.

I like the objective and sharp Sena too.

That’s all that matters, right?”

“Is that all that matters?”

Sena let out a tired laugh and sighed softly.

“The distance created by the princess speaking casually is terrifying.

There was a reason you used formal speech with everyone.”

Then, as if a scary thought crossed her mind, she stiffened and looked at me.

“Uh, you’re not planning to start speaking casually to everyone now, are you?”

“Haha, just kidding.

Do you think a socially awkward person like me could do that?”

I leaned in close enough to share breaths with her.

Then, I gently curved my eyes into a smile.

Her clear eyes were filled with my reflection.

Feeling like I might melt, I whispered.

“Just so you know, I’m only like this with you.”

“……”

Sena let out a small, resigned laugh.

“That’s just how you are…”

For a moment, a strange atmosphere lingered between us.

Sena was still lying down, relaxed, while I sat above her, close enough that leaning down would be all it took.

Being in such a position while both slightly heated made it impossible not to feel a bit awkward.

Sena’s eyes were already slightly glazed.

To put it bluntly, it was a look of permission.

It felt like even if I kissed her or took off her clothes, she wouldn’t refuse.

Maybe even go further.

Realizing this, I broke the silence and spoke.

“Oh, right. What’s going to happen to our club in the end?”

“You really know how to change the subject in this atmosphere.”

I tilted my head, looking at Sena’s now expressionless face.