Chapter 52

“Stop her.”

“Halt.”

“Would you really watch your own daughter die?”

“I am the Pope.”

“You’re her father, aren’t you?”

“One cannot let personal relationships interfere with official duties.”

“…”

“Sir Beatrix.”

Father’s voice was as rigid as ever, unmoved by emotion.

“Father, I want to live.”

“…”

“To be freed from the devil’s clutches? What good is that if it means death?”

“Sir Beatrix.”

“You abandoned us. The devil saved us. I’d rather trust the devil.”

“So heretical thoughts have taken root in you.”

Various emotions swirl and collide. My heart is impossibly complex.

Father – my object of admiration. Someone I love, and love, and should love a hundred, a thousand times over.

Someone I should properly admire.

Swish-.

But Father will never reciprocate my love.

Anger and survival instinct rise. I want to knock down this hateful father who stands alone guarding the castle gate I must cross.

A menacing aura circles my fists. With malice, I draw my greatsword. It gleams darkly, ready to mercilessly cut through anything in its way.

“I must survive. Will you keep stopping me?”

“The devil isn’t called the devil for nothing. Don’t go down the wrong path.”

“This is for survival. Without this power, I couldn’t overcome you, Father.”

“I am the Pope. The leader of the church and the pillar of believers. I cannot idly watch you use demonic power.”

“…To save you, I made a contract with the devil, and now I have to kill you with this power…”

“Have you already considered me dead?”

Thud thud-.

The atmosphere turns icy and heavy. Frost-like holy power falls like snowflakes. My whole body feels weighed down as if soaked.

“Arrogant.”

“Lucifer is the devil of arrogance.”

“Have you forgotten who stands before you?”

“I’m the one who killed Agasilias.”

“Give it your all.”

“…”

Strength fills Father’s voice. I take a step toward him, dragging my darkened greatsword across the ground.

“Right here, I’ll make you kneel – without any regrets!”

Father draws his sword too. It’s as massive as my greatsword, similar in strength and sharpness, but there’s a clear difference between our blades.

Color.

Black and white.

Darkness and light.

Devil and Lord.

It’s common sense that the devil can’t defeat the Lord. Lucifer was originally an angel who fell into ruin after betraying the Lord and being punished.

However, the Lord doesn’t help humans. That’s the only truth I’ve realized living as a clergyman.

But devils do help humans. Therefore, I must win this duel.

Ssssss-.

Wuuuuung-.

Sinister demonic power concentrates in my cursed blade while brilliant holy power gathers in Father’s sacred sword.

Focus.

He’s my father or enemy. To survive, I must kill him.

Recalling how I split Agasilias in two, I launch myself forward like lightning.

A single dark flash streaks out. Instantly, the entire world is covered in deep darkness, and my sword strikes the solitary shining existence within it.

The luminous being swings their sword too. It’s a sword technique at an unparalleled level, unlike anything I’ve seen before.

Against that, I…

“Yes, I’ll give it my all.”

I unleash my ultimate attack.

With the single-minded intent to kill him and flee, sustaining this life contracted with the devil.

There will likely be a violent collision. I don’t think I can overwhelm him instantly.

Though I’ve just ascended to absolute power through Lucifer’s strength, Father has been at the pinnacle all along.

Even knowing that fact, I won’t retreat. I unleash all the power I possess in my ultimate strike.

With that thought, I thrust my sword directly toward the center of his heart.

Puwoooook-.

There was no clash.

No sound of metal meeting metal, no collision of black and white. Nothing.

Instead, only the sound of someone’s knees hitting the ground weakly.

Tulsek-.

It echoed quietly.

“Keh…”

Father groans. A heavy weight falls on my shoulders. Father convulses, and my trembling sword tip follows.

This isn’t strange. I made it happen. I just pierced Father’s heart, and now he’s leaning his head on my shoulder, spitting blood. It’s clearly my victory.

Just one thing I can’t understand.

“Why…?”

“Cough… cough…”

“Why did you lower your sword…?”

At the last moment.

When the two great swords should have collided with enough force to shake mountains and rivers.

Father lowered his sword and entrusted himself to my blade.

It’s incomprehensible.

“Why…?”

Father gasps, spitting out red blood.

“Ah, how could a father kill his daughter…”

“…”

“How could I send you away when I’m the Pope… But as a father, I simply couldn’t kill you… This was the only way…”

“Don’t… nonsense! When have you ever thought of me as your daughter!”

“As the Pope, I shouldn’t let you go… But as a father, I couldn’t bring myself to kill you… There was no other way…”

“Wha… what…”

“My breathing is faint, almost extinguished, reaching your ear.

“I didn’t fail to stop you… I couldn’t stop you! The world will know it this way!”

“…”

“If I were to let you go, I’d be branded a heretic for disobeying church law… And your mother, left alone in the world, would also be labeled a heretic…”

Mother is mentioned.

“You must run… I will be recorded as the Pope who failed to stop you and died… Then your mother can receive protection from the church…”

“Why…”

Everything spins before my eyes.

Something is wrong with the world.

“Why didn’t you kill me!”

For the first time in my life, I speak informally to Father. Disrespectful words come out uncontrollably without passing through my brain.

“Well… because I love you…”

“You never loved me!”

“…”

“You never smiled at me! No praise, no acknowledgment! I trained day and night just to earn your approval! You never once said ‘well done’!”

Father never loved me.

On the day of the war against the enemy nation, when I stood at the forefront, Father did stand beside me.

But that was merely a rational choice as the greatest power should act.

“That’s…”

“Say something! You’re right, aren’t you! You never loved me!”

“Because you chose the arduous path of knighthood…”

“What…?”

“I had to raise you strong…”

“…”

My heart sinks hearing the rough voice.

“You know… the looks people give when they see a woman become a Holy Knight… They’re never kind… I couldn’t smile at you so you’d grow stronger… I couldn’t praise you so you’d train harder… For over ten years we lived like that until you became the greatest Holy Knight… Yet even now, the bishops’ gazes toward you are unpleasant…”

That’s why.

No, it shouldn’t be.

If that’s true, then I, who stabbed Father, am…

What am I?

More fundamentally…

“I…”

“Beatrix…?”

“I dreamed of becoming a knight to receive your love…”

“…”

“I wanted your praise! That’s all I wanted! That’s why I wanted to become a Holy Knight!”

“…”

“I’m sorry.”

Our mismatched situation runs off track and finally meets its destruction.

Facing eternal death.

Father still leans his head on my shoulder. I can’t pull out the sword now. If I remove the sword blocking the wound, the gushing blood will hasten Father’s death. Of course, I can’t push it deeper either.

All I can do now is support Father with the greatsword piercing his chest and embrace his back.

“I… was inexperienced.”

The firm and large back muscles tremble as if sobbing. In Father’s aging voice, unrestrained sobs can be heard.

“If only I had talked to you more… If only I had tried to listen to your true wishes somehow…”

“No… Stop! Just stop talking!”

“It was my fault for being inexperienced… How could I blame you as a child…”

I loved Father.

Father loved me too.

Then why did it end up like this?

“The papacy… I’ve done it for over forty years… But raising a child was my first time…”

“Stop! I get it! I understand everything you’re trying to say! If you keep talking, more blood will flow out!”

Gulp!

“Aaah…?”

“Cough… You’re allowed to be immature as a child… But as a parent… Having already experienced raising a child once… I should have approached you first… Foolishly thinking that being stern would help…”

Red blood keeps flowing. It’s not mine, yet why does it stick so stubbornly to my body?

My body is hot. Covered in scorching blood. Is this blood? Is this truly blood streaming from my eyes?

…Yes. Transparent blood. The condensed emotion about to burst from human eyes. It’s already streaming from my own eyes.

Enough. Enough, I say. It’s enough. Thanks to your education, I eventually became the church’s first female Holy Knight! And earned the title of the strongest Holy Knight!

You weren’t wrong. It’s just that the situation went awry. There are no villains anywhere.

So… please don’t die. Please don’t die. I’m begging you. Please don’t die.

“Sniffle, sniffle…”

Hot tears flow endlessly. Even though I cry embarrassingly loud, Father no longer scolds me. Instead, He sends a gentle gaze and carefully strokes the back of my head.

“Seeing such a delicate daughter… I was too harsh…”

“Sniffle… I didn’t know you were like this…”

“I didn’t know either… Don’t blame yourself… As a parent, it was my fault for not understanding your intentions… How could I hold a child accountable…”

Father’s voice grows fainter. Standing before Father who’s preparing to cross a river with no return, I feel frustrated, scream, and wail.

How did Father and I end up in this relationship? Tears keep flowing endlessly. I hate myself so much it feels like dying.

“Let me see your face…”

“Sniffle… Sniffle…”

Father’s thick hand lifts weakly, covering my chin and cheeks. Father’s reddened jaw twitches slightly.

No, don’t look. I’m completely messed up right now. My face is soaked with tears.

It’s far from the strong, steadfast, unyielding image you always emphasized.

Despite my desperate wish, Father holds my face with His hands and forces me to meet His gaze. Knowing this is Father’s last action, I dare not stop Him. With moist eyes, Father gazes at my face and barely speaks.

“Our daughter…”

“Sniffle, Ah, Father…”

“You’ve grown up beautifully…”

Plop.

Afterward, Father’s hand stained with my tears and spit lands on the ground.

Breathing His last breath, Father quietly murmurs.

The hymn honoring the Lord above the heavens to whom He devoted His life.

“Lord is coming…”

“My glorious Lord is coming…”

“Blessed horn trumpets welcoming the Lord resound…”

“On the day when the Lord’s grace gently falls upon the earth…”

“On that day, my Lord walks the path of love…”

The weakest hymn in the world, yet the most resonant.

“Lord is coming… to save all things…”

Such a hymn spreads quietly.

“…”

Now it’s over.

“…”

My body won’t move. To not waste Father’s death, I should escape and survive, but I can’t find the will to live.

It’s strange. Until the clash with Father, I was filled with the single-minded intent to kill and survive, but now that Father has passed, I have no will to live.

It’s due to the self-loathing of killing Father with my own hands.

“Ah, ah…”

After laying Father gently on the ground, I withdraw my hands. My palms, soaked in Father’s blood, come into view. I feel like I’m going crazy.

I mustn’t die. Father sacrificed His life to save me.

Yet I can’t find any reason to live.

At that moment, deeply lost in despair about life.

“Haa… Commander, you need to leave quickly. Why are you still here?”

A familiar voice reaches my ears.

Shifting my blurry vision blurred by tears, I see a familiar face.

Lucio, my subordinate and grateful friend who rescued me from prison.

But why…

Why does my friend have such a terrifying smile on his face?

His mouth corners stretch up to his ears like horns, reminding me of a demon’s expression from an old book I read long ago…

“Wow? You killed the Pope? Amazing! As expected from our commander!”

“Wha- What are you saying!”

“Why? Why are you reacting like this? Is it strange that I’m happy?”

Lucio’s appearance changes. His figure, voice, height all transform. Black wings sprout from his back, and wicked goat horns pierce through Lucio’s forehead. In his grasp is an inverted cross.

“You think demons would mourn the Pope’s death? Haha, wouldn’t that be funny? Lady?”

“Y-You bastard!”

The Fallen Angel, Great Demon Lucifer.

It was a shock that took my breath away. That pleasant and kind Lucio was actually Lucifer? That somewhat dissolute but still devout Holy Knight Lucio?

“Lucio… W-What are you…”

Do you not understand the current situation? Well, I guess you wouldn’t. Finding out your lifelong support was actually a demon would be shocking. Nowadays, even plays with such scripts would get criticized. But reality is always more fantastical than drama. By the way, have you heard of ‘Play’?”

“Play?”

“I was once an angel, remember? So I was enjoying myself as a Holy Knight. Then I met a lonely girl there. Very lonely, plagued by compulsions. Does it ring a bell? Who that girl might be?”

“L-Lucifer… Surely not everything from the start…!”

“Don’t misunderstand. It wasn’t intentional or anything. Just slightly twisted the situation and set up a little stage, that’s all.”

Lucio’s words gouge out my heart. The more horrifying truths spill from Lucifer’s grotesque mouth, the more my mind collapses.

“Satisfied. It was extremely entertaining. The tragic story of the estranged father and daughter was quite a spectacle to watch.”

“Lucifer! You vile demon bastard!”

“Hmm?”

“Because of you! If it weren’t for you, Father wouldn’t have…!!”

Anger seeps through my lips. Confusion in my mind is overtaken by anger.

To such me, Lucifer whispers brightly.

“Why? What did I do?”

“Lucifer! I’ll rip you apart, you son of a bitch!”

“Whoa, calm down. You’re glaring like you want to kill me.”

BOOM!

I grabbed Lucifer by the collar. Lucifer just stared at me with a sly smile.

“I’ll kill you! Revenge for Father! I’ll tear you into thousands of pieces!!”

“Me?”

“Yeah! You foul demon spawn!”

As I wanted to fill that smirk with unbearable pain by choking Lucifer’s neck with both hands,

Lucifer began eloquently speaking.

“Hmm… Why do you hate me?”

“Well…! Because of you, Father…!”

“Whoa, whoa, don’t misunderstand. The Pope was destined to die anyway. By the invasion of the enemy country. Not just the Pope, all the church followers were supposed to be trampled under the hooves of the enemy army.”

Lucifer spoke well.

Too well.

“Think about it! If Lady hadn’t met me and made the contract, they would have all died! But Lady eventually met me and made the contract with the devil, thus saving everyone! Only the Pope died!”

“That may be true but…”

“Just looking at simple calculations, it’s a huge gain, isn’t it? Only one Pope died! Originally, including the Pope, everyone was going to die, but thanks to this Lucifer, Lady managed to create such a situation!”

“Hmm…”

“Oh! But there is one difference! One very important difference for you!”

“What…?”

Disgustingly well,

Lucifer spoke.

Throwing his arms wide open.

Suddenly, Father’s last words before passing came to mind.

“The devil isn’t called the devil for nothing.”

“YOU personally killed the Pope!”

“!”

“What? The Holy Kingdom would have collapsed? Everyone would have died? What does that matter? That was supposed to happen by the enemy country!”

“Ah…!”

“YOU killed him with YOUR OWN HANDS! Your father! Isn’t that amusing? To prevent the horrific future where the enemy country kills everyone, only the Pope died! But YOU killed him with YOUR OWN HANDS! Just by that fact alone! By that guilt alone! YOU are going insane!”

“AAAAAAH!!”

“The ones who make contracts with devils aren’t allowed natural deaths! Don’t worry! Devils never break contracts! YOU will have to drag yourself through life forever with that guilt! Do you think devils are called devils for nothing? YOUR destiny is to be bound by feelings of guilt for a hundred million years, a billion years!”

After that, I don’t remember.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!”

While screaming from the depths of my body and soul, my memory occasionally blanks out, and I wander aimlessly without a destination.

Only thinking that I don’t want Father’s death to be meaningless, I somehow crawled into the Demon Forest, built a small house, and started living peacefully.

This is my story.

The story of Beatrix Constantino, a Holy Knight who cannot die.

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