Chapter 50

Since the launch of the shampoo barter exchange, a flood of purchase requests has rolled in.

[Proving I’m a human..jpg]

[I’m getting dizzy, please hurry and look!]

[Shampoo! Shampoo! Shampoo! Shampoo! Shampoo!]

Requests for purchase certifications started pouring in at dozens per second.

The deputies also peeked at the certification posts, but their numbers were ridiculously low.

“Should we pull in more deputies?”

Each person was limited to one bottle for purchase.

It was to prevent anyone from buying in bulk and reselling it in Elard later.

The result was slow but certain.

[Barter Exchange Chatroom]

(‘Nature Lover’ has entered the room.)

Head of the Gallery*: Send me your proof shot.

Nature Lover: Just a moment.

Nature Lover: (sends a close-up picture of their face with long hair falling forward)

Nature Lover: Now please sell me some shampoo ^^

A picture filled with white skin was sent.

From this point, it already seemed suspicious, but at least the long hair was black.

“Ugh… it’s ambiguous.”

Usually, elf spies pretending to be human can be filtered out by their distinct hair colors.

There was often a situation like this with judgments similar to that of Gallum, but there was one more method to tackle uncertainty.

Head of the Gallery*: Hmm, looks real, but…

Nature Lover: ^^

Head of the Gallery*: Now, act like a World Tree.

Nature Lover: ?

Head of the Gallery*: I said try it out! Can’t do it? 3… 2…

Nature Lover: Thr…

Head of the Gallery*: Thr?

Nature Lover: The stupidest fool Head of the Gallery! Use that shampoo yourself! You idiot!!! Uhhh! ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

(‘Nature Lover’ has left the chatroom)

Head of the Gallery*: Cutㅋ

And from this effective second filter, most turned out to be elves.

It was even considered that elves would attempt to bribe, knowing that deputies were judging.

(‘Genius Elf’ has proposed a branch from the World Tree!)

I Will Not Die Even If I Am a Vampire: ?

Genius Elf: ㅎㅎ Can you accept this and somehow give me just one bottle?

I Will Not Die Even If I Am a Vampire: (sends a picture with bared teeth)

Genius Elf: Elkiiiyaaak!

Of course, that wouldn’t work.

The elves’ attempts to purchase were repeatedly thwarted, and every time, 후기글 about purchases kept flooding the gallery.

[Title: Is this… me?]

(Comparison images before and after shampooing)

– Wow, the difference is stark.

– Went from beast to human, huh.

– Is this a total transformation or what?

[Title: For real, I recognize this time Head of the Gallery ㅇㅇ]

(Shiny hair image)

I truly had a broom for a hair my whole life, but a few uses of shampoo totally changed me.

Head of the Gallery, I normally don’t acknowledge much but recognize you specially ㅇㅇ;

– ㅋㅋㅋㅋ Why is this guy acknowledging Head of the Gallery?

– Who do you think you are?

– So confidently funny, lol.

– Head of the Gallery*) ㅇㅇ; Thanks!

Lol ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

It seemed like I’ve reached a point of semi-enlightenment.

Naturally, no elves were in this mix.

Whether resigned or unaware, there hadn’t been elf posts for a while.

“This kind of quiet is actually scary.”

An elf, who holds the second-largest stake in the gallery, suddenly went silent?

It made me uneasy.

Are they hatching some plans? Just as I was cautiously watching, a new post popped up.

[Title: An Elf’s Statement]

Author: Armin

(An elf kitten curled up)

(An elf kitten tearfully biting its dress)

I believe this incident occurred because the elves started something first with a bang.

This isn’t the first or second time, but many elves who wrote that post are reflecting on it.

I apologize on behalf of the elves.

Head of the Gallery, won’t you sell a shampoo to an elf as well?

(Some elves doing a dogeza)

(Someone getting scolded by Armin while teary-eyed)

“Now that’s a proper apology.”

When I heard it was a statement, I honestly felt anxious.

What kind of race are elves?

Honestly, it wouldn’t be weird at all if they challenged me to a duel right now, but here we are.

“Now that I think about it, the Elf Queen hasn’t caused any disruption at all, has she?”

In this incident, the Elf Queen has only apologized on behalf of the elves.

Is it just me, or does that writing remind me of a parent apologizing on behalf of their misbehaved child?

– If elves cause trouble, the Queen comes out.

Lol for real, it’s an ancient tradition…

– Oh dear elves, come on!

– What kind of seat is the Elf Queen, anyway…

– Representative of the elves? That can’t be easy.

– There’s a troll village called the Elder Council, so that must be a hellish job, lol.

One could say how unfortunate the Elf Queen is that such an opinion has formed.

The crux was that the apology didn’t stop there.

At the very end, Armin attached a small gift, a wreath.

(A wreath made of moonlight flowers)

This is a small gift given as an apology.

I hope you accept it.

– Whoa, are they really giving this?

– Wow, I’m so envious, Head of the Gallery, lol.

– Last time, you made friends with a dwarf, and now?

– Are those elves for real? They’re giving this?

At that moment, comments began erupting explosively.

“What’s this?”

Of course, I was just bemused.

*

Refusing the shampoo.

The opinion was heavily swayed by the Elder Council.

The elven elders especially had a distaste for the Head of the Gallery, mostly because of incidents related to the World Tree and the fairies.

“Hey… I heard that elves are brutally capturing and killing fairies these days?”

“They’re making a scene saying they should change the name from fairies to pests.”

“Elves should never do that… Elves should, tsk tsk…”

Since the last pesticide incident, young elves have gone wild.

The problem was that as a result, the World Tree had genuinely returned to a healthy state.

If it had worsened, they might have boasted, ‘See!’

But it couldn’t even be that.

More than anything, that incident had established Armin, the Elf Queen’s position.

“Now the Queen doesn’t even seem to regard us…”

“Even though she hasn’t even unofficially ascended, she talks freely and pushes policies—jeez.”

“Lacks respect for elders!”

Armin could be considered the face of the Pure Elf group.

A young and competent elf queen.

The Elder Council began to lose power, and the elven elders were displeased with that.

So after gathering to discuss, the elders gazed at one elf intently.

“So what will you do, Mersenne?”

“Hmmm…”

Acting as the senior elder of the gallery, Mersenne.

As the most influential elder, everyone waited for her decision.

While fiddling with her long black hair and listening to their stories, she narrowed her eyes and fell into thought.

“For some reason, I’m still feeling uneasy since that incident.”

After the pesticide incident, she had gone to supervise the World Tree and lost chunks of her memory.

For some reason, it felt like she had been force-fed Mento’s cola and lost her memories… that unsettling feeling.

Her body instinctively advised her to pull back, but her earnest mind suggested she continue.

“First of all, let’s express our refusal of the shampoo.”

“A good choice!”

“Right. Cleanliness, it’s like corrupting the soul!”

Thus, under Mersenne’s decision, the council conveyed their refusal to the gallery.

Head of the Gallery*: ㅇㅇ Except elves, sell.

“Oh?”

The restriction on shampoo sales to elves was announced.

Exactly one hour after that.

“M-Mersenne!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Right now, a crowd of elves is protesting outside!”

“Wha?”

A rebellion broke out in the elven society.

Mersenne felt a stream of cold sweat and looked outside the window, where young elves were indeed protesting with picket signs.

“Elders, wake up!”

“Do something!”

“Let’s force-feed them Mento’s cola!”

“Eek.”

Bang.

Closing the window, Mersenne slipped out the backdoor in a cold sweat.

She promptly headed for Armin’s office.

Meanwhile, the gallery was still gracefully ablaze.

[Title: Half-Elves are done for!]

(An elf with fierce eyes)

Nothing ever works out with half-elves!

I want to try some shampoo too!

– You, scum elf!

– Don’t young ones even know to respect their elders?

– I could attack if I wanted to^^

– You haven’t even dried off from being newborn!

– What’s it to you? Die! Go eat some ginseng candy!

– What’s with that? Have you said everything?

Now, the Pure Elf Squad and Half-Elf Squad had started to bite and scratch each other.

The problem was that the Pure Elves were overpowering.

Pure Elves, with their high rate of gallery addiction and love for meat, had a typing speed of another level.

– You, I – wait!

– Who cares about that? You just lecture endlessly and do nothing!

– Getting into this before being born…

– Is being born early supposed to be pride? Keep telling everyone to go to the library; if the library is that great, just go yourself! I’m so annoyed!

– Maintain some traditions of the previous generation…

– Do those traditions put food on the table? The past and present are different; this is a world that’s been ravaged, who cares about fairies and whatnot, what about abstinence?!

– Can we have a proper discussion here?!

“No way.”

If this keeps up, Mersenne might lose her own position too.

She soon found herself in front of Armin, who was waiting with a broad smile.

“You’ve arrived.”

“…Did you expect me?”

“Of course. How noisy it is outside. You’re here to discuss a solution, right?”

Mersenne weakly nodded.

Even if she wanted to issue an official statement, she would need the consent of both the elder representative and the queen.

“I came to get your permission to submit an official statement…”

“Yes, what’s the content?”

“Here, I wrote it down.”

Armin looked at the official statement with a smiling face.

And gradually, her expression soured.

“Isn’t this a duel arena? How is this an apology letter?”

“Not a duel, but if we can’t narrow the difference in opinions, let’s resolve it with a fistfight…”

Mersenne stopped mid-sentence, staring at Armin, who had turned cold, along with Eliana beside her.

As she sealed her lips tight, Armin sighed lightly.

“Even if we simply write an apology letter, the Head of the Gallery won’t accept it.”

“What?! Then…”

“I’m sure the elves will lose patience and cause a rebellion, and then our kingdom and the elders will be… snip!”

Armin mimicked cutting off her own head, and Mersenne’s expression turned pale.

“W-What should we do then?”

“A more heartfelt apology.”

“What?”

“A larger apology is needed. For that, we must do this.”

In her hand was a picture of the typical dogeza pose.

Mersenne thought this was absurd, but soon envisioned being chased out by the elves and driven out of Elard in a distant future.

‘This isn’t a baseless fantasy; that prince named Frederick might…’

With clenched teeth, Mersenne had no choice but to agree.

“I’ll take a good shot, so hurry and do it.”

“Ugh…”

And so, with Mersenne doing a dogeza, Armin grinned wickedly.

In that moment, the authority of the queen began to rise even higher than the elders.

*

“Now that the cleanliness issue has somewhat been resolved…”

After the elves’ apology letter.

I lay in bed, scrolling through the gallery.

I succeeded in changing the gallery’s perception of cleanliness, but the fundamental issue hasn’t disappeared.

– Oh damn, another Waste Monster appears!

– A; I really don’t want to catch it this time;

– It’s so dirty. I just bathed!

Individuals might be clean, but the streets are still a utopia of waste.

To solve this problem, a fundamental approach seemed necessary.

I found myself staring blankly at the ceiling when one idea came to mind.

“Then, how about building a drainage system?”

If I can collect waste in one place, at least I can avoid the tragedy of having crap all over the streets.

But then where would that gathered waste go?

– Oh crap, Waste Slime appears!

– A;

– Service in Kellierhton terminates now.

At that moment, a new monster emerged.

Not just any monster, but the notorious Waste Slime that devoured everything in its path.

I looked at that hideous figure and my eyes lit up.

“This is it.”