Chapter 50

“…I promise.”

“I even crossed my fingers, so you absolutely can’t break it, right?”

*

050

The Broken Promise (Part 2)

*

She suddenly “sprouted” in front of me.

That was the only way to describe it. I was sitting at my desk writing a letter, and of course, there was no space for anyone to step in. Unless they climbed onto the desk, that is.

But there she was, standing at eye level with me. Her lower half buried in the desk, only her upper body protruding. As if overlapping with something else that didn’t exist in this world.

But if she didn’t exist—what was I seeing?

I asked the question, but I didn’t want to know the answer. They say ignorance is bliss, and that’s exactly how I felt. Knowing it was impossible, I still struggled to avoid a terrible doom.

=You look ridiculous.=

Even as I looked at her, though her face wasn’t covered, I couldn’t read her expression or impression. It was a contradictory statement, but finding something non-contradictory about the being before me was even harder.

A figure too vivid to be an illusion. Her hair, absorbing light, was unnaturally black, and her face was completely empty, devoid of any features. Her skin was so pale it made a corpse’s complexion seem healthy.

She had the face, body, and structure of a human, yet she didn’t look human at all. More like a moving clay figure.

=Have you forgotten who I am?=

I didn’t answer. I felt like I shouldn’t.

I couldn’t get entangled with that thing. I had to avoid looking at her, not let her voice reach my ears, and run as far away as possible.

But I couldn’t move, as if nailed to my seat. Even if my legs weren’t cut off, I doubted I could move. My muscles had turned to stone.

I couldn’t even call out to the servants. I couldn’t turn my head, couldn’t avert my eyes.

All I could do was watch as she slowly approached.

=My love?=

The moment I tried to answer her, the invisible force binding me seemed to vanish, and my lips parted.

“My love… is only one.”

=Really? I doubt that.=

She was wearing a plain, white, featureless dress.

The sleeves fluttered, and the hem spread out. That bland, unremarkable dress could look like anything depending on the situation. It was only belatedly that I realized I had seen that dress—her—many times before.

In the illusion, the girl who threw her mother’s head at me.

Among the crowd of maids whispering and glaring at me.

And.

From the teacher who never once crossed the holy barrier of the silver bars.

From the fiancée whose betrayal I can no longer remember.

“No…”

=You remember now?=

“Nooo!”

With a scream, my body finally moved. I stumbled clumsily and fell backward with the chair. As the back of my head hit the ground, I wished I could just lose consciousness.

But even in the sharp pain, my mind remained clear. I lay sprawled on the floor, and she was still at eye level, horizontally facing me.

Her feet hovered in the air, her floating body blocking the light from above. Yet, no shadow fell on me, as if I was the only one in this world who could perceive her.

Unable to control my body, I writhed like a worm, turning my head left and right. But no matter how desperately I struggled, she remained motionless in the center of my vision.

“Laube.”

Unable to deny it any longer, I called her name.

Knowing I was being dragged into an endless abyss.

=Was life with your wish fulfilled enjoyable?=

It is said that long ago, humans pleaded to Ailim to let them sleep.

Laube was at the forefront of that group. He was later crowned the first king of humanity and ultimately died as the first executed criminal. The starving humans tore apart and devoured his corpse, making him the ancestor of all humanity. Every human heart carries a piece of Laube.

She doesn’t usually reveal herself, but the darker and more chaotic a person’s heart becomes, the stronger she grows. The inner voice that started whispering one day. If you succumb to the whispers promising to grant your wishes—

You forget the wish that was so desperate you had to rely on an unknown entity.

“I… am human.”

Unbeknownst to me, my teeth were chattering. Trembling, I barely managed to spit out the words, the end of my sentence slurring.

Though her featureless face showed no emotion, I felt like she was smiling.

“Go away! Disappear! Get out of my sight! I’m not a heretic!”

No matter how much I screamed, the mansion remained silent, as if no one could hear my cries. No miracle occurred where even one servant would burst through the door.

Laube’s casually thrown words carried a more terrifying meaning than I thought. So, Laube wasn’t here to tempt me. She wasn’t here to drag me into a pit of darkness.

=Oh dear.=

She was here to collect the rightful price.

=Do you think anything will change by doing this?=

What wish could I possibly have to beg for? A leisurely, insignificant life as a country youth—how could I have a burning desire to sacrifice even my soul? I was originally a colorless, odorless human. No ambition, no conviction.

The only thing worth staking everything on was—

=Remember?=

With a voice tinged with laughter, Laube gently whispered, reaching out to interlock her fingers. I wanted to shake her off, but my body, which had briefly moved, betrayed me again, turning to stone.

Anne had told me. At first, it’s just auditory hallucinations, but the more you fall for Laube’s allure, the stronger her power becomes. What was once just a voice becomes an illusion, and at its peak, the illusion becomes indistinguishable from reality.

The sensation of multiple snakes slithering between my fingers instead of a human hand was too real to dismiss as false. The more realistic it felt, the more terrifying it became.

=I was there when you met that cute child.=

She was.

Anne recognized Laube standing beside me. Even though she was just an illusion born from the darkness in my heart.

=Have you never thought about it?=

The distance closed. It got closer. I shuddered. Unable to back away, I could only let out incomprehensible, desperate sounds. Even that barely made it past my throat.

=Isn’t something strange?=

There were many things.

I just ignored them.

I didn’t want to believe, didn’t want to admit, didn’t want to accept that this was all about repaying my sins and karma. It was convenient and easy to shift the blame onto others.

=That child knew you had a fiancée the moment you met again.=

If Anne had truly been selfish and cruel, annihilating the village just to have me.

How did the holy army arrive within hours? As if they had been stationed there all along.

If that army had massacred the villagers, how did I, hiding in my room, witness the villagers dying?

The tower of skulls, the healer’s pouch mixed with herbs and poison, the child with skin flayed off, the trap that severed the hunter’s ankle. Would the army of God do such things?

“Ugh, ugh.”

The moment of realization struck like lightning, and a wave of nausea surged from deep within.

I opened my mouth without thinking. I vomited. The contents that spilled out were unnaturally clear. My heightened senses could feel the faint glow of Ailim’s blessing within.

It had originally belonged to me. It had resided within me. The empty void was quickly filled with something else. Something similar to divine blessing but inferior, murky, sticky, and disgusting.

What I had swallowed.

What I had accepted.

What Anne had planted in me, all of it surged back.

=Ughhhh!=

In the violent vomiting that felt like my skin and insides were flipping, thousands of worms poured out of my human body. Black insects with fluttering wings instantly filled the small room—no, the entire mansion. The sound of their wings swirling violently battered my ears.

Laube’s hand, forcibly interlocked with mine, slowly rose. From the back of my hand to my wrist, then to my elbow. Over my shoulder, brushing my chin, to my cheek. The motion was eerily similar to how Anne had gripped my cheek, nauseatingly so.

=My child, of my flesh and blood.=

Her voice was grand yet affectionate. As if a truly great being, an immortal and eternal god, was whispering to me alone. Tears streamed down my face. Half from disgust, and half from ecstatic awe.

Behold, my god is not like yours. Can a mere bystander, lying asleep, truly be called a god, our parent? This being is our king. Reaching out to each insignificant subject, granting all our wishes with omnipotent power. Those who yearn for heaven are those whose present is hell. If the present were infinitely happy, who would desire what lies beyond?

=Now, be at peace forever.=

Worship. Offer. All of you, to your god. Everything originates from our king Laube and returns to her embrace······.

“Thy… teachings… I receive.”

No.

In my clouded mind, I began to fumble through my memories, reading them aloud. What Anne had given me wasn’t in vain.

The fingers lightly gripping my cheek melted into my skin. Or was it me melting? My body softened like clay as the cold fingers gently dug in. My cheek was pierced, my palate shattered, yet I felt no pain.

Hunger, thirst, and fatigue vanished. I was reborn as a more complete being. Ailim feared humanity’s greatness and shackled them, but merciful Laube removed all those shackles······.

“……Let not the learner… boast of their meager knowledge.”

No.

It was our imperfections that allowed us to move forward. If the present were perfect, would we need the afterlife? That would be a hell of eternal stagnation, cutting off all future possibilities.

Such a god, such a heaven, I do not desire. What I want is only one thing. Even if we can’t always be together, even if we sometimes fight, even if we grow old and eventually die.

“Thy will… in action… follow.”

Even if we can’t always be together, the time we have becomes more precious. Even if we fight, we’ll eventually hold hands and reconcile. Even if we can’t stay young forever, our finite time shines brighter. Even if we part in this life, we’ll meet again in the afterlife.

Anne. Anne. Anne! I shouted the name of a great human, not a god, a name made greater by its ordinariness, as I recited the scripture.

My head throbbed, and the nausea rose to my throat, but I didn’t stop. Like that day in the past when you poured candle wax on yourself in my place.

“Thy will… do not impose on thy actions.”

The swarm of buzzing insects retreated from me as if fleeing. The fingers could no longer dig into my clay-like body. No, they were being pushed back.

The miracle was the will of a insignificant human, a tiny fragment of divine blessing.

“This is the rebuke I give unto you!”

It was unfair. It couldn’t end like this. My voice, growing louder, was now shouting.

Now, only happiness remained. It wasn’t Laube’s power that allowed us to be together, but our own efforts. Through pain, tears, hatred, and love, you and I endured.

“Those who do not follow! Shall never reach the gates of praise!”

This story needs no uninvited guests. So, disappear!

I shouted with my soul, eyes wide open. The nightmare-like reality, the hellish illusion, slowly receded. My muddled mind began to clear. The all-too-real illusion gradually blurred.

But the voice that had been shouting began to falter. The holy blessing washed away, and my body was wounded by the verses I recited. Blood seeped from every orifice—ears, eyes, nose, mouth.

Laube’s dress had no pattern, and her face had no features. She belonged to no one, welcomed no one, and had no one to converse with.

“Even in the cracks of solid rock… cough.”

The voice reciting the scripture slowed. The memories, vivid as if branded in my mind, began to fade into darkness. Sometimes my throat clogged, sometimes I couldn’t remember the next line, and my speech became more hesitant.

The first day I woke in the reformatory. Everything was irrational, inevitable, and I resented the world, blamed God, and hated you.

When I casually opened the old scripture on the table, and that verse caught my eye, perhaps it was all predestined.

“Cough, hack, wheeze… Weeds take… root.”

It can’t be, it really can’t be—

Maybe when you return home, I’ll have joyful, happy news to share.

=Corruption waits cunningly for its time.=

The voice that mockingly finished the recitation was no longer mine.