Chapter 5

“Ah… I feel like I’m gonna die…”

One day after the period started.

I’m still writhing in pain from the cramps.

“Ugh…”

“A-Are you okay…?”

“Do I look okay to you? Huh?”

“N-No…”

“More importantly… go find out why a magical girl even gets periods.”

“W-Well…”

Come to think of it, I wondered why the Mascot Headquarters had sent menstrual pads as part of their support package. Was it because of this…?

These guys must have been sure I’d get my period…

“Well… while we do fix you in the form of a girl… we don’t interfere with anything else, so it’s random… If you want, we can stop the periods though…”

“Stop it right now.”

“Y-Yes, ma’am! I’ll head back to headquarters for a moment!”

A guy like me experiencing a period… What kind of messed-up situation is this…?

Ugh… I don’t even feel like moving…

“I’m back!!”

After sending Chubby away and writhing in pain for an hour, Chubby returned surprisingly quickly.

“I-I found it!”

“Good…”

“If you drink this, your egg release will stop permanently!”

“O-Oh… But what about this period? Do I just have to endure it?”

“…Yes.”

“Damn… Anyway, give me that medicine. No matter what, I can’t fight with a pad on, clutching my stomach while bleeding during an emergency dispatch.”

“That’s exactly why we prepared it right away!”

“Is that so…?”

Well… if the top-tier magical girl is writhing in pain from her period and can’t fight, it’d be a disaster in an emergency. They must have been shocked too.

Besides, this isn’t even an illness—it’s proof of being healthy, so it’s awkward.

Still, it’s a relief they came up with a solution so quickly…

“…Ah, damn. I need to change the pad soon.”

Ugh, changing the pad is making me feel weird again, and it’s annoying…

Wait, if I drink this, I won’t have to suffer like this anymore, right…?

If that’s the case, I should drink it now… No, I’ll try a sip first… Ugh.

“Ugh, damn! What kind of disgusting taste is this?!”

“Please bear with it and drink it all! You need to gulp it down to get the full effect!”

“Ugh… One… two… three!”

G-Gulp…?! H-How am I supposed to… swallow this…?!

Ugh, ugh… Hoo, hoo…

“I-I swallowed it…”

“Good job!”

W-What… How do I even describe this taste?

It’s like all the worst garbage flavors combined…

Ugh, ugh… My stomach’s acting up again…

“Ugh… Ah, bring me something to drink…”

“Here you go!”

“…Beer? Well, fine. I’ll drink this.”

Ahhh… But is it okay to drink beer during a period?

Well, since it’s a magical girl’s body, I guess it doesn’t matter what I eat or drink.

“Ugh… Why does it have to be such a painful period…?”

“But once you get through this one, you won’t have to deal with it anymore!”

That’s true… but I wish this one would stop already…

*Ding-dong.*

“…What? Who could that be?”

“I’ll go check!”

At times like this, that Chubby is actually helpful…

Well, I’ll just keep drinking my beer.

…Ah, I wish I had some chicken to go with this, but thanks to the period, I don’t feel like eating…

Wait, why is it so painful and uncomfortable just because I’m shedding some blood?

“Rampage-san!”

“Yeah. Who’s here?”

“Pretty Heart-san came to visit!”

“…Visit? Wait, who said I was sick? And how did she know where I live or that I wasn’t feeling well?”

“Well… after I went back to headquarters, Pretty Heart-san’s Responsible Mascot must have told her!”

“Why would they tell another magical girl… and even my address…? Well, she came all the way here in this heat to visit, so let her in.”

“Yes!”

Anyway, she’s as sincere and pure as her name suggests.

To come visit me as soon as she heard I wasn’t feeling well… I can’t really say anything since she’s doing it out of pure kindness…

It’s a hassle, but I’ll just deal with her and get her to leave soon.

“Hello~.”

“…Yeah, come in.”

“Um… are you feeling okay now?”

“No, I’m not.”

“I see…”

“But I’ve gotten a bit used to it, so I can at least walk around.”

“…!”

Her sad face immediately brightened.

I’ve only seen her a few times, but she’s really pure.

And she’s only in middle school.

A kid this pure and kind is probably one of a kind.

“Well, since you’re here, you should eat something. What do you want?”

“Huh? Actually, I brought something… Here, some fruits and drinks.”

…Am I seeing this right?

She brought a whole basket of fruits and drinks for someone suffering from a period?

I can’t believe there’s really someone like this…

“Thanks… I’ll enjoy it.”

“Hehe.”

“But still, I can’t let a guest fill up on just fruits. Tell me what you want to eat. I have plenty of money.”

“…Huh? By the way, where did you get all this money, unnie? I remember you coming out of a studio apartment last time…”

“Well, that’s a thing. Have you seen my past records?”

“Your records? Like your subjugation records?”

“Yeah.”

Since I can’t give her coffee, maybe I should make her some tea?

But I usually just drink beer, so I don’t even know how to make tea.

…I’ll just give her a drink if there’s something decent… Ugh…

“Ugh… When will this end…”

“Are you okay, unnie…?”

“…I’m fine. Here, drink this while you think about what you want to eat.”

“Okay…”

Hmm… This is the first time I’ve had her in my house.

Well, before this, I was a guy when I wasn’t transformed, so it was impossible.

It was a secret I kept even from my family and friends.

…I did tell my friends later, after I became an adult.

“…Ah! Do you want to eat dakgalbi? Cheese dakgalbi.”

“Cheese dakgalbi? …Sounds good. Do you know a good place?”

“Yes! I don’t order it often, but there’s a place I order from at least once a month.”

“Really? Then let’s order from there.”

“Okay, I’ll place the order right away.”

This is within my expectations.

Girls go crazy for cheese tteokbokki, cheese dakgalbi, cheese this and that… Spicy stuff with cheese on top, or anything with mala sauce.

Looks like she’s no exception.

Not that I dislike that kind of stuff, so it’s fine.

But tteokbokki is a no.

That’s just garbage food covered in cheese and sold at a premium price.

I’d rather just buy some gochujang and make it myself.

“By the way~, unnie, we haven’t exchanged numbers yet.”

“Huh? That’s true.”

“Then let’s exchange numbers this time! My number is…”

Suddenly exchanging numbers… and with a girl at that… This is a first in my life.

But my phone is a piece of junk… Maybe I should get a new one while I’m at it.

The latest phone is the K23, right? After all the cost-cutting issues, they finally changed the team leader and focused on performance.

This is a good time to switch.

I can’t show her a six-year-old phone.

“What’s your number, unnie?”

“Hmm… I’ll text you after I get a new phone. My current one is broken and unusable.”

“Really?!”

Her genuinely surprised and worried expression… She’s really a fascinating creature.

I still don’t understand how someone like her exists.

“Oh, it’s here.”

“I’ll go get it.”

“Here, use this card to pay.”

“Okay~.”

Wow… She’s walking so briskly…

I’m seeing things I never thought I’d see in my life.

“Ugh… It’s a bit awkward to eat straight from the delivery container… Ah, here it is.”

By the way, it’s so convenient to use magic to fly and grab the dishes.

If I couldn’t use magic, I’d have to use a chair to reach them. Magic really is the best.

“I brought it~.”

“Good. I’ve got the dishes ready, so let’s serve it here. It tastes better when it’s served properly.”

Oh… They put a lot of cheese on it.

Usually, when they pile on this much cheese, the food underneath is tasteless… Wait, it’s actually good.

“Mmm~!”

“…It’s delicious.”

Well, she comes from a well-off family, so she knows where to find the good stuff.

No wonder she orders from here once a month.

…Ah, just when I thought I was feeling better, my stomach starts acting up again as I start eating…

“Ugh…”

“A-Are you okay…?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry and enjoy your meal. I ordered it for you anyway.”

But she’s eating so well without any rice.

They must have seasoned it to be eaten without rice, but still, it feels a bit empty without it.

“Chubby. Bring some rice.”

“Yes!”

This definitely tastes better with rice.

But… since my appetite has shrunk, I can’t eat much.

I’ll just eat a little and give the rest to her.

Middle schoolers to high schoolers have huge appetites, so she can probably finish this on her own.

“By the way, unnie, you’ve been a magical girl for 15 years, right?”

“Yeah. So?”

“Um… have you stopped growing?”

“……Yeah, pretty much.”

Why is she asking this all of a sudden… Well, I guess it’s natural to be curious.

But it’s still too early to tell her the truth.

It’s rare, but even guys can become magical girls, and the Mascot Headquarters is keeping it a secret for now. If I spill the beans, they’ll be in trouble.

So… I’ll just go along with the question about whether I’ve stopped growing.

“…You’re eating well.”

“Huh?”

“Should I stir-fry it for you? I do have some experience living alone, so I can handle simple stuff.”

“N-No! Unnie, you’re not feeling well, so I’ll do it!”

“…Alright.”

Do middle schoolers these days know how to use cooking tools?

Well, even elementary school kids can cook instant noodles by themselves, so stir-frying rice shouldn’t be a problem…

“Ah, the sesame oil and sesame seeds are over there and there.”

“Okay~.”

…Now that I’ve stopped eating, my stomach is starting to act up again.

But I drank the medicine, so once I get through this, I’ll never have to deal with periods again.

“By the way, unnie~. Did you know~?”

“Know what?”

“I checked your records before~. Unnie, it seems like you haven’t used any magical girl points at all, so I was wondering~.”

“…Huh?”

“Do you… know about the Magical Girl Store at the Mascot Headquarters~? I was curious, so I asked, and your points… well… they’re… kind of… a lot… So I thought maybe you haven’t used them at all…”

“……Really?!”

Wait… There’s something like that at the Mascot Headquarters?

And magical girls can go there anytime?!

…Why didn’t Chubby tell me about this?

“…Hey, Chubby. Come here.”

“Y-Yes?!”

“Why didn’t you tell me about the Magical Girl Store?”

“…Uh, um, uh… Tehe.”

“Tehe…? Do you really want to die?”

“I’m sorry?!”

“One more ‘Tehe☆’ and I’ll kill you for real.”

From start to finish, I’ve been relying on this kid for help.

Meanwhile, this Chubby is completely useless.

All it does is heal the seriously injured during emergency dispatches.

Why is this thing still alive?

Maybe I should have just let it get executed.

“Unnie~ It’s ready~.”

“Yeah? Thanks.”

…Ugh, getting mad at that thing made my stomach…

“…You, think hard and remember everything you’ve forgotten and spill it all out now. If I find out later that you hid anything, you know what’ll happen, right?”

“Yes, ma’am…!!”

Sigh… Well, let’s try some of this fried rice…

…Oh? It’s really good… What did she add to make it taste this good?

“Um… unnie.”

“Yeah, what?”

“Can I visit again later when you’re feeling better?”

“……Sure, why not.”

“Then next time, I’ll bring my mascot too!”

“Alright.”

She’s really digging into the fried rice.

She really loves eating.

And she wants to visit again… Well, I guess it’s fine if it’s her.

“Well, that was good.”

“It was delicious~.”

Thanks to her, I’m feeling a bit better today.

Plus, I got some good info.

…No, not good info—it’s something that Chubby should have told me from the start.

“Well, I’ll be going now.”

“Alright, take care.”

“Okay~.”

Pretty Heart left…

I thought it would be annoying, but it was actually kind of nice.

Being called “unnie” still irritates me, though.

I know I can’t go back to being a guy, but I don’t want to be treated like a girl right now.

“She’s such a kind kid!”

“Yeah. Unlike you.”

“Huh?! M-Me…”

“Do you think a lazy bum like you deserves to be called kind?”

“…No.”

“Then go do the dishes.”

“Yes!”

Ugh… My stomach is starting to hurt again, so I’ll change my pad and lie down in bed…