Chapter 48

Variant Monsters, a lump of filth.

Literally a monster mixed with garbage, flies, parasites, and other unspeakables.

At first glance, it looked enormous and utterly disgusting, capable of causing serious disease to anyone who encountered it.

It had a form that made you want to stay far away and never touch it, but…

– Ah haha, can’t resist free Mana Pills!

– Cleanliness? Is that something you eat?

– Why are you soaking your body in the water and dirtying your soul??

For medieval humans, this was hardly a problem.

[Title: Ah haha, what’s with the free Mana Pills!]

(A meme of a lump of garbage screeching in the middle of the city)

(The nearby knights, hunters, and soldiers laughing and rushing over)

(The normalization meme of the lump of filth)

Earned my lunch money, how sweet haha!

[Upvotes: 512] [Downvotes: 52]

– Ugh, that guy’s enjoying it all by himself.

– Ah dammit, I want to catch that monster too!

– Besides its gross appearance, it’s a grateful creature for giving out Mana Pills…

– How do you even catch that thing?

– You can smell the stench from that photo.

– Haha, it’s cleaner than my bedroom!

– For real haha!

“Oh right, we’re in the medieval era.”

A time when cleanliness just didn’t exist.

Back then, it was simply a cute era.

Contrary to my worries, the Variant Monster that appeared in the city was swiftly normalized by the knights.

“My chest is swelling with pride.”

Of course, during that process, filth splattered everywhere, drenching houses and streets, but no one seemed to care.

Rather, …

[Title: Hey lump of filth, I’ll enjoy my meal]

Author: ColaLoveGroup

(Meme of entering a tavern)

(Meme of eating meat with hands covered in all sorts of filth)

Not better than chicken, but…

Well, it’s edible enough haha!

– Head of the Gallery*) Your hands are so filthy!

– Author) It’s okay, it’s all going into my stomach anyway.

– Head of the Gallery*) But that’s literally poop!

– Ah; don’t bring up food while talking about eating poop!

– As long as it’s delicious, who cares~

– Does cleanliness serve me food?!

They were ridiculously indifferent.

Wait, hold on, that’s how hygiene was in general.

Pouring drinks straight from glasses others had drunk from to the next patron.

Hastily solving nature’s call on the street and just getting up without wiping.

Washing hands once every two days.

– Hands are for real men to wash, sure!

– For real haha, washing hands just because there’s a bit of blood? What kind of man does that?

“Isn’t this how you end up getting sick?”

No matter how much the strong survived in the medieval times, this was over the line.

Just when I wondered how they’d remained so fine until now, a new post popped up.

[Title: Ah damn, I feel hot]

Author: ColaLoveGroup

My forehead is burning, why is this happening?

I can barely walk straight because I’m so dizzy;

Does anyone know why?

– When’s the last time you washed?

– Author) Showered a week ago, no, two weeks ago, sure!

– What? That’s super clean!

– What’s with that? Why am I getting sick then?

– Isn’t it just that you’re a weak one? Haha!

– For real, getting sick over this haha!

– Hey! I’ve gone a year without bathing and I’m fine!

– Author) Ah;; I have a party appointment but I can’t go because I’m embarrassed for real.

“Well, that’s possible at first.”

You could say it was because of ignorance, not washing properly and then eating.

But the problem arose next.

[Title: Head of the Gallery, I love you!!!] – A day ago

Author: ColaLoveGroup

Took some cold medicine, feeling better haha!

[Title: Yep, today is my lunch menu] – 12 hours ago

Author: ColaLoveGroup

(Meme of cooking meat soup in the water he washed his hands with)

Super delicious haha! This is X-rated!

[Title: Ah dammit; I feel like I’m dying…] – 6 hours ago

Author: ColaLoveGroup

(Meme of lying down suffering)

My stomach hurts so much, I have no idea why this is happening dammit!

[Title: Head of the Gallery, I love you!!!] – 1 hour ago

Author: ColaLoveGroup

Took some stomach medicine, feeling better haha!

Getting sick from eating with filthy hands → taking medicine and recovering → eating again and getting sick all over again in an infinite loop.

In the end, I had no choice but to dive into Gallum’s latest post and comment.

– Head of the Gallery*) You bastard!

– ColaLoveGroup) ??? Why are you cursing at me?

– Head of the Gallery*) Go take a bath, dammit!

Season 4’s swearing tolerance failure.

Once again, I had to unleash a string of curses.

*

Bathing has long been a luxury enjoyed by the upper class.

People couldn’t even imagine warm baths, at best it was about washing in cold streams.

– Bath?

– What’s a bath?

– Winter’s coming; washing in the stream seems a bit haha;

Most had never bathed even once in their lives, let alone taking a bath.

In their memory, bathing was essentially just punishment, washing in cold water.

Evelyn, now a busy queen, slyly discovered new items while browsing the Gallery in her office.

[Foldable Bathtub] – 26 Mana Pills

“What’s this?”

Strangely shaped container, even depicted was a person smiling and giving a thumbs-up inside it.

Had there ever been anything trivial and meaningless in the items Head of the Gallery distributed?

Plus, after becoming a queen (by force), Mana Pills had piled up abundantly.

The price was cheap, she set her tuna can down and ordered the bathtub.

[Delivery has been completed!]

Thud, a wooden box appeared in the office.

After unwrapping and opening it, a small board of unfamiliar material came out.

Fiddling with it according to the instructions, she somehow managed to easily finish putting together the bathtub.

“…So, I just get in here?”

Of course, if just having the container would solve it, anyone could take a bath.

To take a bath, you need water.

But this was solved with the tap water that Head of the Gallery had distributed during the last food crisis.

Filling it with the tap water bought at the marketplace, and once a Mana Stone used for experiments in the Magic Tower was placed inside…

Bubbling…

“Wow.”

Soon, steam began to rise from the bathtub water.

Evelyn too had never had the chance to enjoy a bath during her days as a noble lady.

This was mainly due to superstitions, as they believed diseases were spread through water.

But with the potions stocked in Head of the Gallery’s shop now available, there was no longer any reason to refuse a bath.

Evelyn quickly took off her dress and tentatively dipped her feet into the bathtub.

“Ugh. Th-this feels strange.”

Just the thought of soaking her body felt awkward.

But gathering her courage, she slowly lowered herself, and as soon as her entire body was submerged…

“!!!”

Evelyn’s eyes widened.

An indescribable warmth.

A snugness that enveloped her whole body and the fatigue seemed to melt away.

“Wahhh…”

Evelyn’s eyes gradually began to relax.

She had become someone who could no longer live without Head of the Gallery’s bathtub.

*

Now unable to live without Head of the Gallery.

In truth, that was more of a meme pushed by the Gallum.

– For real, if I don’t have my tuna can, I can’t decide anything.

– How did you survive until Head of the Gallery showed up?

[Concept Post: If it’s better now, upvote haha]

(A frog icon giving a thumbs-up)

On a personal note, I think life is better now than before the Great War haha!

At least for me!

[Upvotes: 9999+] [Downvotes: 2]

– Haha, using cheat keys for the concept post.

– Ah haha, this one can’t be helped!

– The death of Head of the Gallery = My demise.

– Head of the Gallery is a god, I recognize it!

– Why would you even admit that?

– (No lewd stuff allowed! Icon)

But the excitement now was unprecedented.

Before, it felt like a thankful appreciation tied directly to survival.

Now, it felt more like an uncontested adoration, indulging in hobbies and pleasures.

[Title: You bastard]

Author: ColaLoveGroup

(Meme of a selfie)

Why did I doubt Head of the Gallery?

Why didn’t I understand the meaning of Head of the Gallery?

Why did I keep my distance from bathing and embraced dirt?

But now, I’ve awakened.

(Meme of entering the bathtub holding cola)

Cheers.

To Head of the Gallery’s foresight, my reason for living, bathing, and cola.

[Upvotes: 1423] [Downvotes: 42]

– Hahaha, that’s nonsense.

– Ah, damn it, Head of the Gallery is going to go crazy again!!!

– Is bathing really that great?

– Aren’t you saying you haven’t bathed yet?

– You’re missing out on half your life, no, you’re outright losing out haha!

– Yeah, don’t ever try it~ So please normalize the water prices and bathtub containers at the marketplace~

[Title: I’m happy to be on the verge of death!]

(Meme of a face looking like it’s going to burst from being too red)

Bathing for 10 hours straight.

Why didn’t I know this sooner?

– You’re at a serious level of bath addiction…

– Author) Haha, that’s amusing, keep laughing!

– ??? Why is this person like this?

– Feels like my brain is melting in the hot water!

– Seriously, it’s critical, please get out now!

– EU must only bathe…jpg

– Top 10 drinks that pair well while bathing

[Title: I love Head of the Gallery!!!!!]

(Meme of a Rabbitfolk delicately draped across the edge of the bathtub)