Chapter 48

After finishing my shower, my body felt sluggish once again.

Feeling the hot heat, I casually sat next to Erica. I tried to perch on the edge but ended up plopping down due to my weakened body.

“How was the water temperature?”

“It was good.”

“I thought so too.”

A moment of silence enveloped us. Looking ahead, the messy living room came into view.

“…It’s so dirty.”

“I didn’t have time to clean.”

I chuckled lightly at Erica, who pointed at the mess with her finger.

“I’ll help you.”

“I could do it later by myself. Aren’t you tired?”

“I napped a little while ago, so I’m fine.”

Is that so? But I still slept uncomfortably. I probably hadn’t even slept for a few hours.

“You’re so kind.”

“…You should be grateful.”

“Thank you.”

“…”

“You’re pretty.”

“…Stop.”

I couldn’t help but giggle as Erica’s face began to redden.

“Let’s start cleaning the floor.”

“Alright. I’ll get a mop.”

Following her as she rose, I stepped onto the floor. The sound of squishing water tickled my ears.

It’s dirty.

I retrieved a mop from the corner and dipped it into a bucket filled with water. After a few repetitions, I wrung it out.

Then I began to wipe the floor, focusing on the spots where dark red stains were concentrated. Cleaning the dirty places felt familiar, so it didn’t evoke much emotion in me.

Looking beside me, I saw Erica organizing the scattered items and machines in the messy room. Occasionally, she picked up a book and flipped through a few pages… Is she interested in them?

“What’s this?”

“It’s a magical stone.”

“Do we need it?”

“Yeah.”

“What about this?”

“Not needed.”

It was truly unnecessary trash. Watching her gather them into a bag from the corner drawer, I continued mopping.

I glanced sideways. She was now combining sentences starting with “3.”, glowing with a blue light… Maybe it would open today.

Anyway, I was relieved. The crucial stage was sailing smoothly without collapsing.

Once again, silence resumed as I twisted a strand of hair. Knowing Erica’s personality, I didn’t think this incident would simply be brushed aside. She might bombard me with countless questions about whether I was in a lot of pain and if I was feeling okay.

Maybe I should think of some excuses.

Focusing my thoughts straight ahead, I finished mopping. The floor was damp, but the red stains were no longer visible.

I felt my mind clearing.

Before I realized it, my eyes were on Erica, who was placing books on the shelf with two large bags tied in front of her.

“…”

I must have been staring too hard. If she noticed my gaze…

“…You have a lot of books. What are they all about?”

“They’re about my kind.”

“Ah… are you a dampyr?”

“You remembered.”

That was surprising.

“I learned it even though I didn’t want to, because of someone.”

“Who might that be?”

“Unbelievable. Really.”

As I watched her glance at me sideways, I absentmindedly stroked my arm. It was still connected.

The general cleaning had come to an end. I welcomed Erica back after she threw the gathered trash away. I seated her in front of a small table and walked into the kitchen.

“Thanks for your hard work.”

“You too.”

“Do you want coffee?”

After saying that, I hesitated for a moment. Both our conditions weren’t great; would it be okay to consume caffeine?

“…Yeah.”

It should be fine.

“Café mocha? Something sweet?”

“…”

I turned my head at her unexpected silence. She was sitting demurely and looking at me.

“Americano…”

“Hmm?”

“Please give me an Americano.”

At that moment, I tilted my head at her trembling pupils.

“Don’t you like sweet things?”

“…I said I’ll have what I wrote.”

She didn’t have to be so prickly about it.

“Alright.”

Giving a casual reply, I brewed the coffee. Watching the brown waves ripple, I pondered if there were times like this. Well, if she drank something sweet every day, it could get boring.

The kitchen felt clean again, unlike the chaotic living room. Maybe I just hadn’t used it much.

I poured the coffee into a glass.

Two cups of Americano headed to the table.

“Thank you.”

I hope she actually drinks it. I wonder if she’ll make a face while drinking.

Even amidst this meaningless thought, she had already brought the glass to her lips. I could see the coffee flowing into her mouth.

The glass was set down on the table.

“…It’s bitter.”

“I told you it was bitter.”

I raised my own glass to my lips. The sharp taste tingled my tongue before fading away.

It’s not that bitter.

“…”

I found Erica quietly staring at me and blinked.

“Can’t you eat it at all? Should I switch it to mocha now?”

“…No, I’m not a child. And…”

The cup was lifted again. It flowed into her mouth once more.

“Mmm. It’s drinkable.”

Seeing her smile slightly made me lose my focus. Should I aim for her smile next time?

As silence resumed, I exhaled. My breath, released into the air, was soon disrupted by her voice.

“About yesterday…”

And her clear white eyes turned toward me.

“About yesterday, when you were in a lot of pain…”

“Ah, yeah. That.”

It was a kind of seizure that was hard to express in clear words. The memories of groans and gasps, of blood pools and a nauseating scent coexisting, must have been dreadful for her.

“…Does it happen often?”

And the concern reflected in her gaze was a distant kindness that transcended simple sympathy and empathy. I struggled to suppress the sudden urge to retch.

“No.”

Thank goodness. My voice didn’t tremble, and I remained calm. It was as if birds were chirping and flowers were blooming.

“I was just fighting hard that day. We barely took down the Spirit World, and then suddenly, some unknown hunters started shooting, so I felt a surge of craving and deliberately took the bullets!”

“…That must have hurt.”

“Hmm?”

Right. Kindness. The kind that could be overwhelming and nauseating. A kind I couldn’t handle, living in a sickening flower field.

“It was mostly okay, though?”

“Liar.”

And I regretted it. I should have mixed in a bit of truth to coax her sympathy slightly.

“It’s a lie, right? You clung to me like that yesterday, gasping and in tears, didn’t you?”

“That’s…”

That’s…

I couldn’t find my words. Was she referring to the pain from the battlefield or the aftermath of the discomfort on the living room floor?

The arrows piercing through me continuously were agonizing beyond measure.

“You’re a naughty kid for telling lies, aren’t you?”

Erica’s gaze remained pure white. That frightened me even more. I was terrified.

“I find it hard to believe that you don’t often experience pains like those from last night.”

“Erica.”

“Quiet.”

And my mouth was shut. The way she looked at me was incredibly captivating. I felt the urge to kneel before her on the spot.

“You’re a wanted Awakened One, right?”

“…Yeah.”

“I’m a hunter from the association.”

“…That’s right.”

Where did it all twist? Perhaps I was already ensnared. There might have never been an escape route for me, floundering in the swamp of unfamiliar love.

“If you don’t want to get caught, you’ll have to obediently listen to me.”

“…”

“Come here.”

And she slightly turned in her chair, beckoning for me to come closer.

I couldn’t resist. Unlike my spinning mind, my instincts commanded me to go and embrace her.

Offering me an exhilarating pleasure. Promising the love that you desire.

Rising from my chair, I planted myself before her with heavy footsteps, waiting in silence until my body was bound with chains.

“Good.”

“…”

“Look at me.”

“…Okay.”

She didn’t look different from usual. Her hair still shone with luster, and her pure white eyes were stunningly beautiful.

And I saw her hand slowly lift. I felt a warm touch on my hair.

“I’m sorry for teasing you.”

She knew, after all.

“But if not now, when else could I win over you?”

Maybe tomorrow, or if we wanted to, we could go back to our original relationship right now. Yet, she and I didn’t do that.

“Do you like being petted?”

“I like everything you give.”

“…You know what you’re saying, right?”

“Yeah.”

I gave up on resisting. I chose to surrender and quietly lean into her.

Her compassion was ugly but beautiful. I had been enjoying this distorted love of a twisted relationship for quite some time.

Being dragged along by her benign interest while tethered like a leash brought another wave of pleasure.

“Stay like this for just a little longer. Quietly.”

Erica might have known everything. That I wouldn’t share a single lie and would never tell her everything.

Our previous conversation must have merely been a means to test that.

I realized that she wanted only one thing. To pour out kindness that surpassed limits, even for a fleeting moment, using the fact that I loved her in a way I couldn’t fully understand.

“It was tough for you.”

Pouring in overwhelming kindness that could make me retch, so that I, who feared her compassion, would ultimately collapse.

“It must have hurt.”

And I quietly nodded my head. That was all I could do, being bound to her.

“Now it’s okay.”

“…Yeah.”

“Right now, just for now, don’t think about anything.”

Facing her clean eyes and gentle touch, I was in agony. Floundering between mental pleasure and physical ecstasy.

Before I knew it, I found myself repeatedly muttering that I was fine, closing my eyes and leaning into her.

Her embrace was so warm that I felt like I wanted to escape right away.