Chapter 476

What should I do…

I stared at the scale pattern engraved on my chest, feeling as dazed as a soldier who just got discharged only to receive a new draft notice.

Even if I had woken up naked next to a stranger in an unfamiliar bed after a drunken night, it would’ve been less shocking than this.

The Holy Mark. A symbol of the Proxy of the Gods on the mortal realm, and proof of qualification as a Saint Candidate. This golden tattoo was undeniable evidence that I had been chosen as Astraea’s Saintess.

…To me, it didn’t seem much different from the slave brand embedded in Hersh.

Saintess Ha-shal-leur? What kind of nonsense is this? It’s as contradictory as Leopold being generous.

It was utterly incomprehensible.

Lady Astraea, who raised all her followers into lunatics, why are you putting me through this trial…? Were you that displeased with me cutting off your believers’ limbs?

To bestow the Holy Mark, which even your most devout followers rarely receive, on someone like me who has zero faith—what a terrible joke! There’s a limit to how far a bad prank can go!

Getting up from the bathroom floor, dripping water, I walked out, grabbed the cigarette pack hidden in the pile of clothes, and returned to the bathroom.

As always, this was something I couldn’t endure without smoking.

I postponed drying my wet body and sat naked against the bathtub wall, lighting a cigarette.

It was bleak. Extremely bleak.

Feeling as if my insides were burning, I tried to sort out my tangled thoughts, relying on the minty smoke filling my lungs.

“Haah… What on earth were you thinking…”

I muttered to myself, staring at the ceiling as if speaking to Astraea, who I assumed was watching me from the heavens above.

Of course, there was no response.

This is how gods are. They do incomprehensible things and don’t bother explaining themselves to the people involved. I never liked any of them.

The smoke I inhaled turned into a sigh and escaped my lips.

Only after finishing three cigarettes did I calm down enough to stop lamenting and cursing the gods, and instead start thinking about what to do next.

—

After wiping my wet body with a piece of Ryu-rik’s torn leather, I scrubbed off the bloodstains on my armor and clothes.

The smell of blood and the red stains didn’t completely disappear, but this was the best I could do for now.

I burned the underwear. It was beyond saving, both in color and smell. I’ll just loot a clothing store for a new one.

Putting on the slightly cleaner top and leather pants, I slipped on my boots, grabbed the rest of the clothes and luggage, and entered a random inn room.

The smell of dust and a faint fishy odor. Inside the old inn room, only a small shelf and a bed were placed.

I sat on the crude bed made of straw and thick cloth, lit a new cigarette with a match, and sighed.

The Holy Mark… What am I supposed to do with this…

I felt like drinking some strong alcohol. I hadn’t touched a drop since I killed someone in a drunken rage, but that’s how bleak I felt.

—

Alright. Let’s recap my current situation.

As incomprehensible as it was, I had become the Proxy of the Goddess of Order, Astraea. Horrifyingly so.

…You think it’s a good thing? Not a chance. It’s quite the opposite.

If I showed the Holy Mark to Astraea’s followers, do you think they’d bow down and obey me?

Not a chance. If that were the case, I wouldn’t have compared this Holy Mark to a draft notice.

A Saint Candidate is essentially the face of the Church Order. With great authority comes great responsibility.

Those bestowed with the Holy Mark must memorize the Church’s scriptures and ensure their every action aligns with doctrine.

Look at Lacey or Agnes.

They might seem reckless, but in reality, they’ve spent years memorizing the scriptures and never even attempt anything against the doctrine.

If I reveal the Holy Mark, I’ll be forced to live like that. It’s a matter of the Church’s—no, the Goddess’s—dignity and prestige.

So the moment it’s revealed that I have the Holy Mark, a swarm of Astraea’s priests will come running with stacks of scriptures to teach me doctrine.

Until when? Until I can recite the scriptures line by line and manifest Divine Light.

…In other words, for the rest of my life.

I already tried it once, but without faith, I couldn’t manifest Divine Light even with the Holy Mark.

Refusing won’t help.

I’m the Saintess of Order, appearing for the first time in over a hundred, maybe even hundreds of years. Do you think they’ll just give up if I refuse their interference?

It’ll be a miracle if they don’t follow me back to the Empire with their luggage.

So to me, this Holy Mark is nothing but a troublesome brand.

Even if I reveal it, I can’t just ignore the Church’s opinions and push my own agenda.

While a Saint Candidate’s words carry significant influence, that’s only after proving sufficient qualification and authority.

Who would follow the words of a Saint Candidate who can’t even properly manifest Divine Light?

If I make claims that go against the Church’s opinions, they won’t bend to my will but instead insist that I need more education.

Just look at Lacey. She ignored the Holy Kingdom’s opinions and tried to establish a diocese, only to have her authority suspended.

All because she lacked the education expected of a Saint Candidate.

If it weren’t for Drexler being sent to recuperate and her taking over as Acting Cardinal, Lacey’s official status would still be ‘Saint Candidate (Provisional)’.

Ah, speaking of Drexler, I wonder if he’s still alive. He looked like he didn’t have long left.

…Anyway, unless I’m recognized by the Church as qualified, this Holy Mark is nothing but a useless burden.

I may have the authority of being chosen by the gods, but in reality, I have no real power.

—

After crushing the cigarette butt, I lit another one and continued pondering.

If the Holy Mark were completely useless, I could just hide it and live my life without ever revealing it. But the problem is that it’s slightly useful.

Especially when dealing with the Astraea Church’s forces that will arrive soon.

Without the Holy Mark, I’d have no choice but to subdue them by force. But with it, I could show them the mark and try to persuade them to give up suppression and leave.

If I do that, I might be able to prevent the bloodshed that’s about to happen in Arad.

Because the moment they see the Holy Mark, they’ll transform from riot suppression forces into an escort to take me to Astraea’s Cathedral!

A sigh escaped at the bleak future.

Of course, they can’t forcefully drag me away, and even if they tried, I wouldn’t go quietly… But either way, it’s going to be exhausting.

Ah, what am I supposed to do about this? I’m going crazy.

Even after chain-smoking a whole pack, no answer came, so I eventually stopped thinking and got up.

It was about time to head out.

—

The clothing store had no underwear.

Some lunatics had cleared out all the women’s underwear, even the used ones, leaving it completely empty.

…I should’ve just closed my eyes and worn the old ones. Too late for regrets now.

No matter how much I miss them, the burned underwear won’t come back. I had no choice but to walk around the city without underwear.

At least the top and pants were thick enough. If they were thin, it would’ve been obvious.

“Ugh…”

The sensation of my chest and groin rubbing against the leather was indescribably strange.

It wasn’t unpleasant… but it wasn’t exactly comfortable either.

I walked through the city at noon with smaller steps than usual, heading toward the distant Kranuus Church Cathedral.

Archbishop Radenis was someone I couldn’t trust, but since I’d driven out Astraea’s followers, I had to meet him. I had things to say.

As for the Holy Mark… I pulled up my top to hide it, so it shouldn’t be a big issue.

Though half of my lower chest was now exposed.

—

“You’ve arrived. I was waiting for your safe return.”

“Yeah, sure you were.”

Archbishop Radenis was waiting in the reception room with hot tea, as if he knew I’d come.

Without touching the tea, I briefly told him about the battle that happened this morning.

He seemed interested in the divine artifact Wilhelm had used, but when I told him it was completely destroyed, he sighed in disappointment.

He wanted to study it or something.

…I should go back later and smash it to pieces. Just in case.

Anyway, I hadn’t come to brag about my exploits, so after finishing the story about Wilhelm, I got straight to the point.

The story about Belcus, the culprit behind last night’s riot who had come looking for me.

“Belcus…? That name sounds familiar… Wait, don’t tell me… the ‘Belcus of Discord’? That demon is in Arad…?!”

Wow, his eyes are about to pop out.

Radenis dropped his teacup on his lap, his eyes wide with shock.

Even if his dead mother came back to life, he wouldn’t be this surprised.

He looked just like I did when I found the Holy Mark in the bath.