Chapter 47

Hello.

My name is Seoyuna.

My parents gave me this name with the hope that I wouldn’t miss out on all the beautiful things in the world, using the characters for beautiful (유) and to hold (나).

Isn’t it pretty?

Just like my beautiful name, I have been loved a lot at home as well.

My mom loves me the most in the world, and both my older and younger brothers adore me.

Although I only saw my dad in photos because he passed away when I was too young, my mom said he was a truly beautiful person.

It’s a strange thing to say about a man, but somehow it feels fitting.

My mom and my brothers were all beautiful people, but our home was not beautiful.

It was too cramped for four family members to live together.

During the rainy season, rain leaked from the ceiling, and in winter, cold winds seeped through the windows.

My brothers would lie on the floor doing their school homework, and my mom would push aside a blanket to make room for the dinner table.

Sometimes, when we managed to grill some meat that we won as a prize, the thick smoke would fill the whole house.

So, when I was three years old, my dream was to be a princess.

I wanted to live happily with my loving family in a beautiful and spacious castle for the rest of my life.

When I told my mom that, she was really happy.

So my brothers confessed their dreams one by one.

My older brother said he wanted to be a painter. Occasionally, when he got tired of homework, he would draw my likeness with a tricolor pen, and it looked just like me.

My younger brother said he dreamed of becoming a basketball player. Since he is tall and athletic, he would definitely become a great player in the future, right?

While I was eating lunch, my curiosity got the better of me, and I asked, “What about you, mom? What’s your dream?”

But my mom said she needed to go back to work and never answered my question.

Her back looked somehow forlorn.

—

“&%&@ %&$$&@@!”

I woke up in the dawn to the loud noise.

Looking around, I couldn’t see my mom or my brothers.

Where could they have gone?

I felt scared.

But then I heard a familiar voice outside the door. It was my mom and my brothers.

I couldn’t tell the time since I didn’t know how to read the clock, but why were they all out on such a cold winter dawn?

“The doctor told me to quickly schedule the next treatment since things are serious at the hospital! But why are you going to work again today?”

“We don’t have any money. We need to earn more while we can.”

“That’s why I’m telling you that your health isn’t okay!”

My brothers were furiously arguing with my mom.

I was so frightened by their unusual appearance that I couldn’t open the door.

“The doctor said it’s a disease that can’t be treated in Korea anyway. We can only save money by being hospitalized when it’s really serious.”

“Are you seriously worrying about money when your life is at stake?”

“…”

From that day on, our beauty began to slowly fade away.

Maybe it had been like that for a long time already.

My mom worked from early morning to late at night to support us all alone.

She cleaned in multiple buildings from morning to evening and often worked late nights at a restaurant on weekends, so there were many times we couldn’t see her.

I missed my mom. I wanted to see her every day.

But I never wished for that wish to come true in this way.

“Mom…”

“Why do you call me, my beautiful daughter?”

“I can’t see you…”

“Hmm?”

“I can’t see at all… Mom, it really is dark… Waaaah!”

Multiple sclerosis.

It’s a terrifying disease that attacks my mom’s body like the police are after a criminal.

My mom’s eyes gradually lost their sparkle, and within a year, she reached a point where she couldn’t even recognize where I was.

Her body became as stiff as stone, as if I had come face to face with Medusa.

Below her neck, her whole body was paralyzed, and she could barely move her index finger.

Seeing my mom desperately trying to wiggle her finger to comfort me when I cried made me realize I had no choice but to hold her finger.

That was the only way to let my mom know I was here when she couldn’t feel anything else.

Happiness was a fragment for our family, but unhappiness was always an endless epic.

Now, I can’t even remember when the happy moments were.

“I dropped out of school.”

My older brother spoke up as if he had resigned himself.

If mom were in her usual state, she would have scolded him to study harder, but today she said nothing.

Now, my older brother wakes up at 4 a.m. every day, quietly gets dressed, and leaves the house.

Then, at 7 p.m., he drags his tired body in and collapses as soon as he hits the bed.

Every day, he works in construction for eight hours, and that’s not enough, as he even takes a part-time job at a convenience store in the afternoon.

My older brother, who used to boast of his fair skin, is gradually browning, and his once delicate hands, which held crayons, are now covered in blisters.

He has become the breadwinner and pillar of our house.

As a result, my mom’s nagging has now fallen onto my older brother.

“Seonoel. Your homeroom teacher called.”

“So what?”

“Why did you fight with your friends at school?”

“… Why do you care?”

“If you don’t want to get beaten, just tell me.”

“Like hell, I’m afraid of dying. I punched someone who made fun of Yuna’s hair color. Is that enough?”

“…”

“And I’m dropping out of school now. It’s too hard to juggle work and studies.”

“What?”

“Next year, Yuna will also enter the academy. If I keep delivering, I won’t earn any money.”

The incident began when I went to school to drop off the homework I left for my younger brother.

But my brother’s friends probably teased me for my different red hair.

My older brother didn’t blame my younger brother, and in the end, this issue was brushed aside.

After that, I became self-conscious about my hair color.

Thinking back, there were plenty of kids at the playground who made fun of me for my hair.

I thought they were just envious…

I asked my mom honestly.

“Mom, is my hair color weird?”

“Who says that? It’s the prettiest in the world.”

“But why is my hair only red? You have black hair, dad has black hair, and all my brothers have black hair.”

“That’s…”

My mom always avoided this question.

However, this time, I was stubborn and had no intention of backing down.

“Am I really not your daughter?”

“No, absolutely not.”

“Then what is it?! Why won’t you tell me!”

Does my mom dislike me?

Our family has so many secrets from me.

I found out late that my mom was sick and that my older brother was working at construction.

“Yuna, come here to mom for a moment.”

I didn’t want to hear what mom had to say.

But I still hugged her tightly. After all, she couldn’t move.

“When you were little, there was a big fire in our apartment.”

“Fire?”

I had never heard of it.

Moreover, an apartment.

We lived in a multi-story apartment, not this small basement room?

“It was just Dad and Yuna at home. The fire spread through the entire apartment in an instant, and we couldn’t escape. But still, your dad did his best to save our Yuna.”

Why is she only telling me this now?

And why did I alone survive…?

—

It is now common for every household to have as many portable oxygen tanks as there are family members, but back then, there was probably only one.

My dad must have used it for me. And until someone came to rescue us…

He kept protecting me.

But eventually, the smoke kept coming in, and my dad couldn’t withstand it.

When mom visited the hospital, my dad had already passed away.

But I must’ve been in a life-threatening situation from inhaling a lot of smoke too.

In the end, mom didn’t even have time to say goodbye to dad and made the decision.

To transplant dad’s aura heart to me.

So now, 60% of my mana circuit is dad’s.

Thus, the reason I have this beautiful red hair like a storybook princess is also because of dad’s aura heart.

While mom was talking, I kept holding back my tears.

If I cried in our small house, mom would hear and feel sad.

No, do I have the right to feel sad?

I rushed out of the house without thinking.

The sky was clear without a single cloud, and the weather was really nice.

In the park, I saw a child my age holding both of their parents’ hands.

They must have come out for an outing.

My heart ached so much.

If I had never been born,

My dad, who was an ordinary office worker, wouldn’t have been home at that time.

He probably would have spent the compensation money on moving to a better house instead of on my surgery.

Then mom wouldn’t have had to work day and night for our sake, and maybe she wouldn’t have gotten sick.

My older brother would have gone to art school and been achieving his dream by drawing portraits for his friends, and

Seonoel would have confidently become a popular professional basketball player.

Even if I had never been born,

Just like the family I just saw,

My family all deserved a fairytale-like life.

They could have gone out together to the park and eaten meat dishes every day in a warm apartment.

I wasn’t a princess.

Rather, I was the wicked witch who hands out poisoned apples, steals voices, and casts into eternal slumber with a spindle.

My brothers don’t even know that and continue to work day and night for me.

They all look at me, to the point of abandoning their long-held dreams; mom and my brothers are counting on me to be the last hope of this family.

I couldn’t breathe due to the pressure.

If only I hadn’t passed the academy… I repeat these same words over and over.

I regret it so much, but now it’s too late.

Now, my life isn’t just tied to me anymore.