Chapter 46

As I regained my senses, I decided to eat something first. I heated up the porridge that Ham Yejin had brought just in case. Fortunately, it wasn’t plain white porridge, so it was edible.

After that, I had to organize all the messages I had ignored until now.

I apologized to Jae-Ah for passing off the tutoring without a word. Gang Hwa-won didn’t seem to care much about me not contacting him for a few days, so I left a vague message.

Muk Ha-neul had bombarded me with a huge amount of texts and calls; she might even burst through that door any moment now. I left a message saying I had just been busy with some work, and in an instant, the 1 disappeared, and Muk Ha-neul sent me a text.

I replied to her appropriately while writing, informing her that I couldn’t keep in touch. I’m not sure if Muk Ha-neul understood, but at any rate, I doused the urgent fire.

However, I found a surprising message from an unexpected person.

Professor Seo from the library. Jae-Ah’s father.

True to his peculiar nature, the content of the message was just advising me to call him. Was it a text from yesterday? I finished the porridge and immediately called him.

“Professor Seo?”

“Who is this?”

Even though he must have seen the number, Professor Seo expressed doubt naturally. He genuinely looked a little flustered.

“It’s… Seol-guk.”

“Ah, that voice is quite difficult to adapt to. I heard about you from Jae-Ah, but surprising indeed.”

Professor Seo clicked his tongue in disbelief. Considering he hadn’t contacted me properly until now, he seemed like quite a conservative individual.

“Did you want me to call just to talk about my voice?”

“Seeing as you’re rude, that’s definitely you. But that’s not why I called. You mentioned you wouldn’t be coming to the total meeting after-party, right? Do you have something important to do?”

“That’s not it, but I can’t drink, so what would I do in such a place, looking like this?”

“In that case, just come out this Saturday.”

“Yes?”

“The seniors of the literary circle mentioned they wanted to see you. If you can, come with me.”

The elders of the literary circle? Why would they want to see me? It was suddenly an utterly perplexing story. Who would have taken an interest in me?

“Which person is that?”

“Lee Cheon.”

In that instant, I almost dropped my smartphone.

Are you saying the writer I respect wants to see me?

“Is that… really true?”

“Yeah. I’ve passed the message along. Make sure to come to the university on Saturday at the right time. I’ll pick you up there with Su-Young.”

When Professor Seo mentioned he would be going with Senior Su-Young, I didn’t even hear him. All that resonated in my mind was that Lee Cheon, the writer, wanted to see me.

After that, I barely heard what else he said, but I kept replying “yes, yes.”

At that moment, I couldn’t consider rejecting the invitation.

After hanging up the phone and spacing out, Ham Yejin asked me what was wrong.

“Are you going to the drinking party?”

“Yes… It seems so.”

“That sounds like someone you respect a lot. I know about writer Lee Cheon too.”

“How could you not know?”

Somehow, Ham Yejin seemed a bit worried, but writer Lee Cheon was genuinely a decent person. There were no scandals about him, he had never caused issues regarding women, and he wasn’t even married. There really shouldn’t be any problem meeting someone like that.

“Well, I don’t really know much about such gatherings, so I can’t say much, but have a good time. Just don’t drink, and if a weird pervert approaches you, scream.”

“…Okay.”

Did she really think I was some kind of child?

“I don’t particularly want to recommend going to such public events, but I did tell you to get advice from others.”

In any case, it felt dreamlike. The gloom and pain I had felt until just a moment ago faded slightly. I even felt a little excitement.

“Well, I have some work left to do, so I’ll head back for now.”

“Did I take up your time?”

“Taking care of Seol-guk is part of my job, so it’s not that. I just have some other things to finish.”

Ham Yejin said her goodbyes simply and left the house. As the situation was settled, I felt a wave of embarrassment recalling what had happened with Ham Yejin earlier.

I was no longer a child, yet I had let her pat my head. It felt like she was comforting a child, holding my hand.

I also recalled how I had whined about my writing. It was pathetic. Foolish.

I couldn’t possibly feel more embarrassed.

But it was because of that experience that I could find a way to rise again.

Though it was an incomplete and irrational response, I could stand up once more.

I will write.

This time, I’ll write something proper and take back what I lost.

Myself.

~

I received a reply from Jae-Ah. She sent a text that she was okay. I informed her that I intended to focus on writing, so for the time being, neither tutoring nor games would be possible. Jae-Ah sent back an emoticon with an “okay” sign without much fuss.

And then there’s Gang Hwa-won.

Hwa-won, upon seeing my message, seemed to have sensed that something was up. I didn’t know the details, but somehow, he seemed to understand that my lack of contact indicated trouble.

Fortunately, Hwa-won hadn’t visited for a few days since we played games together on the weekend.

I couldn’t imagine what sort of scene I would have made had he shown up while I was deeply immersed in writing. I sent a brief explanation, and Hwa-won acknowledged it with an emoticon similar to Jae-Ah’s “okay” sign.

Time passed, and it became Friday. Jae-Ah’s tutoring was canceled, meaning it was all my time. That was the plan, but…

For some reason, Jae-Ah and Hwa-won were again at my house playing duo together.

“Is this your bedroom?”

“Ah, well, you’re going to the university early tomorrow, right? Let us borrow your place for a bit~.”

The literary circle meeting would be held in the countryside. Naturally, the after-party would also take place in that area. Technically, while it was called a gathering, it was more or less a social event, and due to the circumstances of the literary circle, it frequently occurred in a place strongly recommended by an elder (specifically, his hometown).

So, since I had to leave early in the morning and head to the countryside with Professor Seo, I was scheduled to be away from home all day tomorrow.

Seizing that opportunity, these two decided to make my house their playground.

What is this, a university student’s shared room?

“Well, Hwa-won is one thing, but Jae-Ah, why are you escaping when Professor Seo is at home?”

“My mom and sister are there.”

I couldn’t help but sigh.

I didn’t plan on kicking them out, but their audacity was genuinely infuriating.

A few days ago, I mentioned I ordered blankets and pillows online, which arrived, and that became the issue.

With the two of them chatting away, writing had become quite difficult. To be honest, I wasn’t planning to jump straight into writing; I was in the process of organizing and revising the plot, themes, symbols, etc., so it wasn’t a huge distraction, but it was still annoying.

I was still stuck. I wanted to revise the plot to better match the title and themes, but since it was hard to seek help from others, it made it even more difficult.

Ham Yejin had told me to seek help from others, but no matter what, I didn’t want to show it to acquaintances like Jae-Ah, Hwa-won, or Muk Ha-neul. I was ashamed of my pathetic writing, of writing that didn’t contain myself, and of feminine writing.

At least I didn’t want to show it to Gang Hwa-won, not even if I died.

As night fell, the three of us spread out the blankets in the living room and lay down. Of course, I lay on the sofa.

“Wow, this is my first time sleeping somewhere other than home with others.”

“Did you not go on school trips or something?”

“I’ve been refusing to go to school, you know. Even before I stopped going, I skipped those events.”

Now that I thought about it, I was curious about the reason behind Jae-Ah’s refusal to go to school. However, I decided not to ask until she brought it up first. It wasn’t polite to force her to reveal something she was hiding.

It was amusing to see Jae-Ah fall asleep quickly despite the excitement. Within less than 30 minutes of lying down, the kid was sound asleep, and Hwa-won and I exchanged foolish glances at each other.

“By the way, is it okay? Even if you say you won’t go to the meeting, the after-party would be just like it. I don’t think you’ll be too welcomed there.”

“Probably since I’ve caused a lot of trouble. The writing and all.”

“Do you honestly think someone who knows that would write such things?”

“Shut up.”

I faintly noticed Hwa-won’s hands trembling slightly.

“Are you not smoking? Your hands are shaking.”

“I’m in the process of quitting.”

“What’s that about?”

“I have to quit in front of the kid.”

I immediately threw my pillow at him. Hwa-won caught the pillow easily and tossed it back at me.

“Ugh.”

“Anyway, be careful. Don’t drink. If some weirdo approaches you, scream.”

“Are you Ham Yejin?”

“Does she say that too? By the way, can you introduce me to her? She’s seriously my type.”

“Get lost.”

Previously, I had thought of brushing it off, but somehow I reacted sharply this time. Could it be because my relationship with Ham Yejin had changed? Thankfully, Hwa-won didn’t seem to notice anything strange.

“Hey.”

“What?”

“Is writing that hard for you?”

“…Something like that.”

“Just let me know anytime. I might not be able to write, but I can’t not help you.”

“You should have debuted and then talk.”

“That’s what helping means.”

“If someone is hiding something, it’s polite not to pry.”

“If I were that polite, I wouldn’t have even become friends with you.”

That was a valid point. I was starting to feel sleepy.

“Just remember this. Unless it’s something serious, I’ll be on your side.”

“At times like this… should you say you’ll stand by no matter what happens… or not?”

“Well, that might be a bit much.”

Hwa-won laughed a bit louder.

“Such words are usually said to a lover.”

“You’ve got many girlfriends, huh?”

“They’re just holes. Not real lovers.”

“That’s quite the brag…”

“Don’t dig too deep into things, alright? I told you so.”

“….”

“Give me a heads-up once in a while.”

“….”

“Hey.”

“….”

“Are you sleeping?”

“….”

“I’m going to sleep too.”

As Hwa-won drifted off to sleep, I subtly leaned in to look at Hwa-won’s face.

It was an impulsive choice. What was the reason I pretended to sleep without answering Hwa-won?

It would be a little while before I was able to give a response to that question.